by Vera Roberts
“you see a tree that has sturdy branches and fir to put some dangling ornaments. I see memories.
I see which branch is going to have the first ornament. I see Tyson’s face lighting up when he crawls to the tree, plays with said ornaments, and is amazed by seeing them fall on the floor.” He wrapped his free arm around Tiana, “I see us snuggling up against the fireplace and admiring the lights.”
Tiana smiled. “This is the tree?”
“This is the tree,” Kieran nodded. “Let’s get this one.”
“Okay, stay right here so no one else gets it! I’ll get someone else to help us!” Tiana ran off.
Kieran pulled out his phone and glanced at his incoming message. He got a voicemail from the jeweler; Tiana’s engagement ring was ready. It was going to be a Christmas neither one would ever forget.
“Okay, this is the tree!” Tiana instructed to the guy next to her. “We’ll take this one.” She watched as the man took the tree and prepared it for Kieran’s truck. She turned to Kieran. “Is everything okay? I saw you on your phone just now.”
“Just checking messages,” he warmly smiled to her. “Just checking messages.”
After the trio left the tree lot, they went straight home and decorated the tree. Tiana put Tyson to bed and re-joined her boyfriend in the living room with the crackling fire place and lit Christmas tree. She snuggled with Kieran and lay on his chest. “This is what Heaven is like.”
“I think so,” Kieran rubbed Tiana’s arm. “I couldn’t have asked for a better Christmas gift.”
“I’m sure you want a nice Christmas gift, baby?” she asked. “Don’t you want an upgrade to another bike? Or a better SUV?”
“I thought about it, but I’m good. I don’t ride on the bike as much as I should, so it doesn’t have that many miles on it. My truck is fine; I just need to get it serviced one of these days,” Kieran shrugged, “I don’t really need anything.”
Tiana turned to face him. “You are probably the only man I have ever met who didn’t want something for Christmas?”
There was something Kieran wanted for Christmas—a yes from Tiana. He would have to wait until Christmas Day to get it. “It’s not that I don’t want anything,” he clarified, “it’s just everything I have is here. But if you insist on giving me something, you can buy me clothing.”
“Clothing?” Tiana questioned. “That’s an unusual request. Why clothing?”
“Because eventually all women change their man’s clothing. It may not be right away but it’s a gradual step. A tie here. A shirt there. Some new socks here. Some new underwear there. Next thing I know, I have a wardrobe full of brand-new clothes and I had no idea what happened to my lucky Steelers jersey,” Kieran shook his head as Tiana giggled, “you know I’m right?”
“I promise I won’t mess with your lucky Steelers jersey,” Tiana crossed her heart.
“Oh, you better not,” Kieran warned, “you can do whatever you want to my clothes but if you mess with that jersey, woman, we will be fighting.”
Tiana snuggled again with him. “What is it with guys and their lucky jerseys?”
“Hey, whether the Steelers win depend on that jersey,” Kieran pointed out. “If I wear it, they win. If I don’t wear it, they don’t win.”
“Ooh, so that means you haven’t been wearing your jersey that much lately, huh?” Tiana smiled.
“Touché, bella. Touché.” Kieran laughed. “So what do you want for Christmas?”
“You know, every year I never wonder what I want. I spend all this money on my friends and family, making sure they’re happy, but I never wonder what I want. I’m more focused on making sure Tyson has a great Christmas than on any gift I might hope for,” Tiana slightly shrugged, “so honestly, I don’t want anything for Christmas.”
“I’ll give you something,” Kieran rubbed her arm, “I have a gift in mind.”
“Oh, you do?” Tiana became intrigued. “What is it?”
“Do you want to know now or wait until Christmas?” Kieran replied. He was really hoping she would wait until Christmas.
“You know what? I’ll wait.” Tiana smiled. “It’s more fun to wait.”
Kieran breathed a small sigh of relief. “I think so, too.”
****
“So do you and Kieran have big plans for Christmas?” Allison inquired.
“We’re going to stay in town for a little while and then we’re heading back to Staten Island to ring in the New Year,” Tiana couldn’t wait. She had gotten tired of celebrating the New Year, going to the same boring parties with the same boring people. This year was going to be extra special with Kieran and his family. Being an only child, she loved the pandemonium of Kieran’s large family and the multitude of personalities. Even if someone had a beef with another person, they always put it aside as long as Nicola served some of her famous tortellini.
“Sounds pretty serious between you two?” Allison prodded.
“You said that the last time?” Tiana replied.
“And am I right? Is it not serious?” Allison asked.
Tiana tried to hide the big smile that was forming. “Maybe,” she replied.
“Yeah, maybe my tail!” Allison laughed.
“Listen, it’s not that…” Tiana’s phone rang and she picked up her phone. “Hold that thought, Allison. Yes? This is Tiana Morris, how can I help you?” Tiana listened intently on the phone.
Her eyes narrowed and fine lines formed in the crease of her forehead. “What? I’ll be right there.
Thank you.”
“What’s going on?” Allison asked.
“Something happened to Christopher and he’s at the hospital. I’ll be out for the rest of the day.
Take all of my calls and just let everyone know I’ll be back in tomorrow,” she rushed out the door.
When Tiana arrived at the hospital, she made her way to Christopher’s room. When she entered his room, she was astonished by what she saw. Two long tubes were hanging from his mouth and nose. A needle was in his arm and attached to an IV. He was ten shades paler than she had ever seen him.
She swallowed the lump in her throat as a nurse stood beside her. “Are you the wife?” She asked.
“Ex,” Tiana corrected, “ex-wife.”
“He had a nice cocktail of Xanax, cocaine, and roofies which he washed down with alcohol,”
The nurse stated as she checked his breathing machine. He was stable enough to have the tubes removed. “He’s lucky he’s even alive.”
Tiana’s mind was clouded with confusion. As much anger she had for the man, she didn’t want anything to happen to the father of her child. “When did this happen?”
“Just a few hours ago. He partied all night and his friends claim they don’t know what happened to him.” The nurse rolled her eyes. “They all say that when they don’t want to get into trouble.”
Tiana kept her eyes on Christopher. She was distressed by his state; there were tubes everywhere and he looked nothing like what he did when she last saw him. She was angry at seeing him; how dare he do drugs and party when he had an infant son who needed his father? She was relieved he was still alive; maybe it could give him a second chance at life to start over. “Okay. Thank you.”
The nurse walked away and Tiana closed the door behind her. She walked into the hospital room and pulled up a chair next to Christopher’s bed. She grabbed his hand and softly kissed it. For several hours, she kept vigil at his bedside and thought about their marriage.
She thought about their wedding day again and how they promised forever and eternity to each other. She thought about how they were trying to have a baby and how frustratingly long it took them to finally conceive. She thought about Tyson’s birth and how Christopher had tears of joy that he finally had a son.
Tiana then thought about the screaming matches they would have with each other. She thought about the numerous women who would crank call her phone at all hours of the night. She thought about Christopher’s open flirt
ations with other women right in front of her face. And then her last memory of Christopher right before their divorce proceedings—how she caught him in bed, their bed, with another woman. She knew Christopher was cheating on her and the gossip blogs were full of lurid details about him sleeping with this singer and that singer. But for Tiana to actually see it with her own eyes? She had no choice but to leave.
Looking back at Christopher, Tiana briefly wondered if her leaving him somehow contributed to his demise. “Damn you,” she muttered under her breath.
“What did I do now?” Christopher opened his eyes.
Tiana was startled by Christopher’s voice. “You’re alive,” she commented.
“I had a boo-boo,” Christopher replied.
“I’m glad you’re okay,” Tiana stood up. “I’ll be leaving now.”
“Tiana, wait,” he called after her, making Tiana pause. “I want us to be a family,” Christopher pleaded, “like old times?”
The revelation made Tiana silently scoffed. Like old times? Like how you cheated on me left and right? Like how you almost bankrupted me? What glorious old times are you thinking, fool? The state of Christopher’s health made her bite her tongue. “What do you need from me,
Christopher?” She didn’t turn around to face him.
“I want to move back home,” he coughed, “I want us back together. The three of us.”
“Why, Christopher?” Tiana finally turned around. “Why? So I can support your drug habits? So you can entertain your groupies? So I can be made a laughing stock again? Why, Christopher?”
“Because I got a second chance at life, TeeTee. I got a second chance at us,” Christopher pleaded. “Yeah, I’ll admit I was an asshole. I’ll admit I mistreated you. I’ll admit all of that. But I’m also willing to admit that I believe in second chances and I want you to give me one.”
Christopher wasn’t asking for too much; he was asking for everything. If Christopher moved back home, there was no way Tiana could keep a relationship with Kieran. Kieran wouldn’t have any part of it and she couldn’t blame him. It was a decision between what was best for her—and what was best for her son. Tyson needs his father.
“Okay,” Tiana softly replied. She knew just by uttering that one word, she was making the biggest mistake of her life.
Breaking the news to Kieran was going to be the toughest part.
****
“You have been quiet all evening,” Kieran said over dinner, “is everything okay?”
Tiana asked Erin to babysit Tyson so she and Kieran could go out to dinner. She took him to a high-profile restaurant and asked him to dress accordingly. She had a single glass of wine and chewed her food slowly. Her stomach was tightly coiled and no matter how much water she drank, she couldn’t escape the dryness of her throat.
Kieran didn’t pay any attention to what Tiana was doing. He was nervous himself. He wanted to wait until Christmas to propose but decided it was best to do it Christmas Eve. He wanted them to enjoy Tyson’s first Christmas together and let Tiana have her own night. He lightly patted his sweaty forehead and had water instead of any alcoholic beverage. He wanted to remember this night.
“Um…” Tiana quickly swallowed her food and took a sip of wine. She braced herself for Kieran’s reaction. Was he going to be emotionless and respectful? Would he toss a table over and scream obscenities? She could only hope for the former and definitely not the latter. “There is something I do need to talk to you about.”
“Oh?” Kieran felt the ring box chafing his slacks. He was growing increasingly anxious by the minute. “What’s on your mind, bella?”
The next few minutes were a blur to Kieran. It seemed everything paused in slow motion as he listened intently to what Tiana said to him. He paid very close attention to her lips. “I got a call he was in the hospital…”
All he heard was noise even though he could understand Tiana just fine. “He begged and cried for another chance…”
He watched her lips and thought he saw them tremble in nervousness. “I decided Tyson needed his father…”
He read her eyes; she was apologetic and remorseful, hoping that he would understand her point of view.
“I want to let you know it wasn’t an easy decision and it wasn’t one I took lightly,” Tiana continued, “but Christopher wants to be a father to Tyson and have another chance at working things out so…” her voice trailed off.
Kieran looked at her, emotionless. His face darkened and he remained silent for a long while. He reached over took a sip of her wine, then finished it. “Thank you,” he got up to leave.
“Kieran,” Tiana called out after him, “I would like for us to still be friends?”
The admission caused Kieran to stop walking. He rubbed his mouth in frustration, unbelievable that his ex had the audacity to ask such a request. He turned around. “That’s what you would like? You would like us to be friends?”
Tiana nodded. “I would.”
Kieran walked back to her and looked down at her with an icy glare. “You know what I would like, Tiana? I would’ve liked to have been your husband. I would’ve liked to have been a father to Tyson and possibly adopt him. I knew from the moment I met you, I was in love with you. I knew it right then and there. And I broke a rule getting involved with you. I broke the only rule I have ever followed and that is not to get too involved with a client and their family.
“You do what makes you happy, Tiana.” He reached inside his pocket and pulled out a ring box.
He opened it up and set it down in front of her. In front of Tiana was a sparkling two-carat diamond solitaire ring. “This was going to be yours tonight. I wasn’t satisfied with just being your boyfriend and I wanted more. Maybe you did me a favor.” Kieran kissed her forehead. “But us being friends? If I can’t be your husband, I most certainly won’t be your friend. You can keep the ring.” He then left the restaurant.
FIFTEEN
“So have you heard from Kieran lately?” Rocio asked over lunch.
Tiana shook her head. She wished she heard from him. The same night she broke up with Kieran, he packed up his belongings and slept in the guest house. By the next morning, he was gone. She called him so he could get his last paycheck from her but he never replied. Instead, his assistant called her back to let Tiana know she could mail the check to the office. The memory made Tiana’s heart crumble. Kieran was so heartbroken, he didn’t even want to speak to her.
She found herself visiting the Fits and Giggles website on a semi-hourly basis just to see his picture. Tyson’s first Christmas was somber and Tiana barely remembered New Years. It was already time for Erin’s January wedding.
“So the best thing that’s ever happened to you walked out the door because the worst thing that’s ever happened to you wanted a second chance?” Erin asked. “Is that what I’m understanding?”
“You don’t understand my situation, Erin,” Tiana replied, “unless you’ve been in it, you can’t understand it.”
“One has nothing to do with the other,” Erin replied, “the only reason why you’re giving Christopher a second chance is because you found him in a drunk and drugged-out state. Had you not found him like that, you would have never given him the time of day again.”
“Christopher was in a state where he needed me and Tyson. I did what had to be done,” Tiana said.
“Yes, because being Champagne Cris’s wife has more privilege than being the wife of a child daycare owner,” Erin sharply replied, “I totally get it.”
The admission caused an air of tension between the best friends. “I don’t know why I even try to make you understand, because you simply don’t get it.” Tiana quietly replied.
“Then help me understand?” Erin asked. “What is it that I don’t get? Is it the part that he left you alone to raise Tyson? Is it the part he demanded millions of your fortune but said nothing about seeing his son? Is it the part he tried to weasel his way back to you through your mother? Is it the part he che
ated on you left and right before and during your marriage? What part of it don’t I understand, TeeTee? Please? Because I’m curious!”
“My son’s father wants a second chance to make it right for him, for our son, for all of us! Yes, I think Christopher was a shit father and an equally shit husband! Yes, I wish he had turned around before the divorce and legal battles.” Tiana stood up for her actions. “And you’re damn straight, I wish Christopher had made an effort long before Kieran came into the picture! But he didn’t! I did what was best for my son and all involved.”
“No, you did what was best for Tiana and no one involved,” Erin folded her arms. “You don’t give a goddamn about anyone but Tiana. You would rather stay in a loveless and lonely marriage than admit you have a dog husband. You would rather have your parents beat you down than grow some balls and tell them to mind their own damn business. You are the queen of keeping up appearances and you learned that from your mother. Now, you had a man who accepted you as you are, didn’t try to change you, loved and took care of your son as if he was his own, and you left him to give your shit ex another chance because you thought that was the best course of action? Girl, bye!” Erin got out her car keys. “I’m going home because I don’t want to be around this train wreck anymore. My wedding is on Saturday and the rehearsal is on Friday. I’ll see you then.” She then left.
A small silence passed between Tiana and Rocio. “You know she has a point, TeeTee,” Rocio quietly spoke.
Tiana sipped her water and let out an angry breath. “So both of my best friends think I’m an idiot? Great.”
“TeeTee, we saw how happy you were with Kieran. We haven’t seen you that happy in a long time,” Rocio reached over and grabbed Tiana’s hand, “you know I will support you no matter what happens. But I’m not going to lie, TeeTee. I think you made a big mistake.”
“Well, what’s done is done,” Tiana replied, “What’s done is done.”
“Speaking of Christopher, where is he?” Rocio asked. “I haven’t seen him around lately.”
“He’s been busy,” Tiana replied. That was the canned response she gave anyone who had asked.
