by Mary Wood
‘But how? I mean, how could I do it? I couldn’t come here . . .’
‘Why not? It’s perfect! You could have my rooms. I’m not here often now. I’ve to tell you of it, but as it happens you’re lucky to catch me. There’s plenty of room for you and Billy, and Bert’d never find you here. You could be at making a good bit of money and have your own place in no time.’
‘Oh, Hattie. I’ll never be able to thank you for making me the offer, but I can’t. I couldn’t be bringing Billy here. He’d not settle, and though you say as it’s separate, he’d see things.’
‘Well, I’ll help you find a place nearby then.’
‘No, Hattie. It’s not just Billy – it’s Cissy as well. I can’t leave her.’
‘What about Issy? Won’t she come back and look after Ciss?’
‘I’m sure she would and be glad to, but there’s not much room at the cottage, and Issy has a job. They don’t let her have much time off; I’ve not seen her for nearly two years. Mostly Ciss goes to visit her. Besides, even if she did, I’d still not leave Cissy and . . . I mean – well, not until babby’s born and she and babby are all right.’
‘Were you going to say Jack? Oh, Megan love, you got a raw deal in the end. But listen, I know as it’ll turn out for you, though I wish as you’d think on. You can’t go on like this, thou knows.’
‘I will think on, Hattie. You’ve given me some hope and, aye, I was on with thinking it’d be hard to leave Jack an’ all. Though in the end it’d be for the best and it will come, as I have to leave them both. It isn’t easy seeing Jack all the while. Anyroad, ta, love, but I’ve always known I could come to you. It goes without saying.’
‘It does, Megan. I wish—’
‘Let’s leave it there, love. I haven’t got much time. I’m to be back afore Billy and Sarah come from their lessons, and Bert’ll be in on six. So tell me of your news and where it is as you are most of your time.’
‘Arthur’s set me up in a house. Oh, I know I said as I’d never go to him on these terms, but it’s different now. I’ve me own place here and money enough to take care of meself if owt goes wrong, and the house is going to be mine, not Arthur’s. He’ll still own it, but it’s to be my home. I’m on with getting it just how I want it. It’s not far from Breckton, out in the country on the way into Leeds. In fact, you’d see it from the train. It stands in its own grounds. It’s grand, Megan! Arthur comes to stay as often as he can. He’s happier, as he never liked staying here with me, and he knows as I didn’t like staying at his. I always felt as though I were his visiting prostitute. Well, I know I am in some ways, but in most ways I’m not. And now I feel I have more of a position in his life.’
‘It sounds wonderful, Hattie. I’m so pleased for you.’
‘Only thing is: Arthur does some sort of secret work for the Foreign Office, and that takes him away a lot. He says he could be away for months at a time in the future.’
‘How does he manage? It’s years since I’ve seen him. Can he get round, and that?’
‘He’s doing grand. He went off to America and was gone just on six months. They’re on with pioneering some work as can remould people’s faces. You’d not know him. He looks so much better; they’ve managed to make his eyes so as the red bit don’t show, and that’s made all the difference to his appearance. And his hair’s grown back so that it covers where his ear was. Not that it ever bothered me how he looked, but it’s given Arthur all his confidence back. I don’t know owt of what he does at the Foreign Office – as I said, it’s secret work – but it must be important or he’d not leave me so often. It were hard for us both when he was in America.’
‘I’m glad for him. I only met him a few times, but I liked him. So, what happens here when you’re away?’
‘Daisy takes care of things, though she’s had enough. And Phyllis has, too. I’m thinking on taking them to me house, to take care of it for me so that it’s not shut down and empty when I’m not there. They’ve . . . well, I don’t know if you can understand this or not, Megan, but they’ve become a couple.’
‘A couple! How? I mean – well, that don’t sound right. A couple, like . . .’
‘I know. But it goes on. There are men as only likes other men, and women as—’
‘No! It . . . it sounds . . .’
‘Look. Don’t take on. It’s a fact, and there’s nowt as can be done about it. You just have to keep quiet about it. It’s up to you whether you accept it or not. It’s asking a lot, I know, but they’re still the same lassies as they’ve always been – better in fact. They’re reet happy now, and I’m not going to be looking at them any differently. They’re family to me, no matter what.’
Hattie could see Megan was struggling to understand. She might have gone through hell in her marriage, but in many ways she had led a very sheltered life. Hearing about Daisy and Phyllis was bound to shock her.
‘I have to be going now, Hattie. Will . . . will you give Daisy me love? Tell her I’ll happen see her next time, eh?’
‘All right. Now don’t let it go bothering you, and think on about me offer. And, love, there’ll be plenty of room at me house for you as well. In fact, whilst I’m thinking on it, there’s some outbuildings. I could . . .’
‘Oh, Hattie. Thank you. Look, I’ll come and see you again after Cissy’s babby’s born and she’s coping. It’ll most likely be around July time. I’ll see how the land lies then, and I’ll write to you in the meantime.’
After hugging and kissing each other and exchanging addresses, Megan hurried out. Hattie stood on the doorstep to watch her go. Megan looked like she was scurrying to get away as far as she could. She was most likely afraid she would bump into Daisy, and Hattie couldn’t blame her. It wasn’t an easy thing to come to terms with.
The concern she had for Megan was eased by knowing that she was on with a plan, and she hoped there would be a way that Megan could work for the lassies. The way they spent money on clothes, it would take her no time to reach her dream.
Megan waved as she reached the corner and then disappeared out of sight. Poor Megan. She’d to take a lot on board, from the differences in the way their lives had turned out. She knew of things other lassies of her own standing knew nothing of, and each new thing was always a shock to her.
Once back in her room, Hattie warmed herself for a few minutes in front of the fire. She had to get back to doing the accounts that she had been compiling when Megan had arrived.
It had been Arthur who had advised her to keep books on all the money that came in and went out. That way she knew what was needed to keep the place going and what she could take as her own, especially when she wasn’t here as much.
Hattie had hardly given her attention back to the task when she was startled to hear someone knock on her door. She sighed. The lassies knew what she was doing and had been told not to disturb her.
Daisy opened the door and put her head round. ‘Was that Megan going up the road?’
‘Aye, it was. Look, Daisy love, I’m busy. And Megan’d no time to wait for you returning.’
‘Oh, I’m sorry as I missed her and I know as you’re busy, but I have sommat to tell you that can’t wait.’
‘It’d better be important, lass. I’ve to get on.’
‘It is. Mavis has heard as Doreen’s died in prison and . . .’
‘Doreen! Well, that isn’t owt as’ll make me sorry. In fact, I’m glad to hear of it, as that means we’re not faced with her release coming up. What happened? And how does Mavis know of it?’
‘It seems as it were a bit back. Mavis’s mam has a mate who’s just been released from the same prison, and she told of it. She said Doreen just took ill, and that were that. But there’s sommat else as well.’
‘Are you sure it can’t wait, Daisy love?’
‘Aye, I think as you’re going to want to know this, and would skin me if I kept it from you a moment longer. Mavis reckons as she saw Sally.’
‘Sally? Good God! Where?�
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‘She . . . she were on the old patch.’
‘The patch! But . . . well, how did Mavis know her? And what were Sally doing there? And come to think on it, what were Mavis doing there?’
‘She has to go that way to visit her mam, and she said she were just crossing over by Ma Parkin’s when she saw this lass sort of peeping round the corner. Like as if she didn’t want to be seen and . . .’
‘Get Mavis in here. Let her tell me of it all. Oh God! Sally, Sally!’
Her anguish was such that as soon as Mavis entered the room, Hattie blurted out, ‘Tell me of this young ’un as you saw. How do you know as it were my Sally? I mean . . .’
Mavis’s eyebrows arched in surprise.
‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to shout at you. And aye, I do look on the little lass as mine. Tell me everything as you know, lass.’
‘Well, when I first saw her, I thought I were at imagining it to be Sally, because her mam Susan were in me mind. You know, with me mam just on with telling me as Doreen were dead, it’d brought back into me mind all that’d happened.’
‘Did you know Susan then?’
‘Aye, I did. She lived on the next estate to ours, and when her young ’un went missing, I saw her trawling the streets. Folk pointed her out, and she often had Sally with her. She had a go at me mam an’ all, on account as she’d heard as I were making a living on the streets.’
‘So, knowing what you knew of Susan and Sally, you’re for thinking this lass might have been Sally, even though it were some nine years or so ago now?’
‘Aye, she has the look of her mam. She ran off when she saw me looking at her, but I followed and called out her name. She stopped when she heard it and turned and looked at me. Then she ran off again.’
‘What do you think she were doing?’
‘Well, at first I thought as she were after learning the game, but I’m not so sure. She seemed as though she didn’t want anyone to see her.’
An unease settled over Hattie. If it was Sally, what was she doing? Was she starting on the game? Or was she looking for . . . God! She might have been looking for me! Oh, poor Sally.
‘What are you thinking on, Hattie? Are you all right?’
‘No, this news has upset me. I . . . well, I came to love that little lass, and I’ve missed her every day since it happened. She mustn’t be allowed to go on the game. I won’t let it happen. Did she look cared for?’
‘No. She looked like a street urchin. I’d say as she were living rough somewhere.’
‘Why didn’t you bring her in? Oh God! I can’t bear it!’
‘To tell truth, I didn’t know how things were between you and her. That’s why I told Daisy first. I mean, we all knew what happened, but with how it turned out – well, it isn’t spoken of much.’
‘It’s not your fault, Mavis. I should’ve been on with finding Sally this good while, but I were always counselled to leave well alone. I’ll get me coat. Come on. Take me to where you saw her. I just hope as we find her afore it’s too late.’
They’d been searching for over an hour when Dolly Makin – or Dolly the bag lady, as she was more widely known – came round the corner.
‘Eeh, Dolly, you always come as if from nowhere. How are you, love?’
‘I’m at being alreet at the moment, Hattie. I’ve got meself a companion. I lost me Posy as thou knows, and I’ve been at being lonely ever since.’
Hattie had to smile. Posy was the name of Dolly’s cat, but the way she spoke you would think a man had taken her down. Dolly was what was termed ‘a penny short of the full shilling’. She had been part of street life for as long as Hattie could remember, and the many nooks and crannies she called her homes were in derelict buildings and under railway bridges. Each one was decked out with an oil stove and an armchair.
Dolly would call at Hattie’s a couple of times in the winter for a hot meal, but she would never stay the night. She preferred her own cubbyholes and her bottle of meths. She dressed in a confusion of colours and a variety of garments all worn at the same time, and the smell of her was enough to knock you off your pins at times. For all that, she was loved, and many folk took care of her in the best way they could without her knowing it.
‘So you’ve got yourself another cat, then?’
‘No. It’s a young ’un. She were on streets, so I took her in.’
‘A – a young ’un?’ Sally – Oh God! Sally with Dolly! ‘Dolly, you can’t look after a young ’un. Where is she?’
‘I didn’t say as it were a girl!’
‘It’s just that I’m looking for a girl, Dolly. Her name’s Sally. I’ve got to find her, to take care of her.’
‘She’s mine! She don’t want to be found. I’m taking care of her reet enough.’
‘How will you feed her, Dolly? And keep her warm? It’s only April and it gets cold and wet at night. You’re used to it, but she’s not. Please let me see her. Let me see as she’s all right, eh?’
‘I’m not giving her to you to turn her into the likes of your lassies, so go away!’ This shocked Hattie. For all that she was, it seemed Dolly had morals. Not that they stopped her from visiting Hattie when she was hungry.
‘I’d have thought as you’d rather have another cat. After all, they can fend for themselves, get their own food and then curl up on your lap for stroking. Not a grown lass as’ll take some feeding and’ll be on the want all the time.’
‘Aye, well, I haven’t got another cat, have I?’
‘I’ll get you one, Dolly. I’ll trade you for the lass, eh?’
‘When?’
‘Tomorrow. But only if you let me see the lass tonight and, if she’ll come with me, you’ll let me take her.’
‘Aye, all right. I can trust you, Hattie, for all what you are.’
Hattie wasn’t sure how to take this. She never thought to be looked down on by the likes of Dolly.
They followed Dolly for what seemed an age. She would be going along one way and then would suddenly turn and retrace her steps. Hattie tried to keep her patience, but in the end felt she had to say something.
‘Dolly! Stop playing your games. We all know where your homes are. You’ve took most of us in them when times were hard and given us a brew. It’s getting late and it’s cold an’ all. Just take us to Sally, there’s a good lass.’
Dolly let out a bad-tempered groan and then turned down into the next ginnal that led to some tumbledown sheds. As soon as they were within a few yards of them, Hattie called out, ‘Sally, Sally. It’s Hattie, love. Do you remember me? Hattie as used to take care of you?’
An animal-like scream filled the air. Sally, hardly recognizable, crawled out of one of the sheds. Her scream held pain and tears as she lunged forward at Hattie. ‘I hate you! I hate you . . .’ Her fists flailed at Hattie’s body.
‘Sally love, no. No, I . . .’
Daisy moved forward and grabbed Sally. ‘Hey, stop that, lass. Come on now. Hattie’s come to help you.’
Sally collapsed in a heap, wretched sobs shaking her tiny body. Hattie knelt down beside her.
‘Sally. It weren’t my doing, love. I’ll tell you of it. Oh aye, I were one as thought up the plan, but it didn’t go as it should’ve.’
‘How? How could you do that to . . . to me? I thought . . . I thought as you loved me.’
‘I do, Sally. And I’ve never stopped loving you. I were let down. How much of it are you on with remembering?’
‘Everything. Me Aunt Elsie would never let me forget. She told me how dirty I were, every day of me life, and how what you did to me made me dirty and – and how me actions killed me mam.’
Her sobs tore at Hattie’s heart. ‘How did you get here, love? Did you run away?’
‘No. He kicked me out. Me so-called uncle. Me Aunt Elsie died. She had a sickness and I nursed her. She spat at me every day and told me vile things about you and me mam, and when she died me uncle showed me the door. Said he were not for keeping me no longer and I’d to m
ake me own way. He put it in me head to come to you. He . . . he said as I were as rotten as you are. And you are. I know that, from what you did to me.’
Sally’s hands clawed at Hattie’s face once more.
‘Please don’t, Sally.’ Hattie caught hold of her hands. ‘Give me a chance to put it right, love. Let me take care of you.’
‘I want me mam. I want me mam. Maaaaam!’
‘Oh, Sally. Sally, I’m so sorry. Please come with me, love. Please, just give me a chance.’
Sally rolled herself into a ball, a small defeated ball.
Hattie put her hands gently on either side of Sally’s head and lifted her face till they were looking at each other. Her own tears streamed down her face, and her heart felt like it was breaking. To see Sally in such a state! She prayed like she’d never prayed before. Oh God! Forgive me and be at helping me. Please help me.
‘Oh, Hattie. Make it all right. Make it as it was.’
‘I will, Sally, me little love. I’ll do everything I can. And I mean it when I say as I love you. I’ve been where you are, Sally, and I know that someone loving you is the best thing anyone can give you, and you have me, love. You have me heart for your taking. Come home with me. Please, please come home with me.’
25
Seeking a Release
Laura Harvey sat back, releasing a sigh of pleasure at the progress she’d made as she stretched out her limbs and then relaxed.
‘And what is making you so pleased with yourself? Did you enjoy your ride?’
‘Umm, very much, thank you, Daphne. It’s a lovely morning, but it’s what transpired before my ride that is pleasing me so much.’
‘Oh? What have you been up to? Darling, you haven’t . . .’
‘No, but I’m making progress.’
‘I wish you wouldn’t, Laura. He’s your groom, for heaven’s sake!’
‘I’m not going to marry him, you goose! I just want some fun. And it happens to be Jack Fellam that I want to have that fun with.’
