by Sarina Bowen
“You know what I want, man. How about you, Courtney?” Ian asked, handing his menu to the waiter who smiled in acknowledgment.
She froze. They were both staring at her and the tension felt overwhelming. Tears of anxiety threatened. She was failing miserably at implementing the skills she taught to her psych students. Coping methods were easier in theory than in real life, especially when faced with an extreme emotional trigger.
Ian sat back and said, “You should try the corned beef. It’s really good.”
She somehow managed to nod in agreement. The waiter wrote down the information, gathered her menu and then walked away. The silence continued while Ian stared at her. She felt the intensity of his gaze, and she jumped when he quickly sat forward again.
This so wasn’t going to work. She was just too nervous. She couldn’t even think of any of the questions she had planned to ask him.
“Should I start with my stats?” His question was hesitant, spoken in a deep voice that she could only describe as coppery. Its unique sound was the thing after his size and eye color that she’d noticed about him the first time they’d met…and each time after that.
When she didn’t answer he started off with his height and weight, then explained the various types of martial arts he’d studied, and for how long, then finished with the fact that he hadn’t lost a fight yet in his current circuit. She still wasn’t ready to talk to him, but she did manage to pull out a notepad and pen to write down the information he provided.
“How long have you been…fighting?” she asked after writing down the details of his training.
“I’ve only been competing since we all got out of the service, but I’ve been training for years now. One of the guys in my unit was into mixed martial arts big time. He was always talking about how quickly I move for someone my size and kept egging me on until I finally agreed to let him hook me up with this friend of his that’s a trainer. I learned all I could about competing while we were still in the service. Then when we got out and I came here, I started cleaning houses for Man Maid, my buddy’s business. I got hired on part-time by Jess’s mom first and then started working for Jess, as well. The rest is history I guess you could say,” he said with a fond smile.
“Jess told me that she hit you,” Courtney said, taking a sip of water for courage. She didn’t look away fast enough to escape the quick return of his gaze to hers.
He smiled. “Yes. Yes she did. The first time we went to the gym together, she laid me out like a four-course meal on a dinner table.” He laughed. “If you are studying aggressive behavior, you really should be talking to Jess or Tori, not me.”
“How are Seth and Tori?” Courtney asked.
As an ordained minister, Courtney had actually performed the wedding ceremony for Tori and Seth Lewis at a cookout they’d held at their home a few weeks back. It was the first legal marriage she’d ever performed. Before Tori and Seth, she’d only performed love ceremonies for members of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community. Jess had introduced Courtney to several gay and lesbian couples over the years, and she’d been inspired by them, and by the aftereffects of what she’d experienced as a child, to become ordained. Everyone deserved a bit of happiness.
The novelty of officiating at the Lewis wedding was second only to the surprise she’d felt when Ian had acted as peacekeeper between the couple that day. He had helped them patch over a rough spot in their relationship with all the finesse and empathy of a seasoned counselor.
“He’s not dancing anymore, if that’s what you’re asking,” Ian replied with a frown. “I have to ask…why would Jess hire a male stripper for your baby shower? I mean, can’t a baby hear things while still in its mother’s womb?” he asked with equal parts curiosity and condemnation.
The judgment in his voice brought her gaze back to his, and his cold stare nearly erased all the gains she’d made in easing the fear in the pit of her stomach. Unless she explained everything, Ian would never understand that the gag had not only been a celebration of Courtney’s positive pregnancy test but also Jess’s way of proving that just because Courtney still feared men, even after all these years, did not mean she was gay. She simply hadn’t fully dealt with what happened. What she hadn’t expected was that the joke would cause problems between Seth and Tori. Apparently it was still a problem for Ian, too, if the look on his face was any indication.
Tears welled up in her eyes, thanks to her pregnancy hormones, and a couple spilled over onto her cheeks before she could stop them. The condemnation on his face left as quickly as it had shown up, replaced by a look of guilt.
“I’m sorry. Please don’t cry. I am really, really sorry that I said that. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
Knowing that once she started crying she wouldn’t be able to stop until she’d completed the emotional cycle, she pulled her purse onto her lap and unsnapped the compartment containing her tissues. In the brief time she took to look down into her bag, Ian silently moved around the table to sit in the empty seat next to her.
Don’t panic. Deep breaths.
Her tears picked up in intensity. Feeling as though she had no way to escape added to her turmoil.
“Shhh, hey, beautiful, I’m sorry. I say things sometimes before I think about the consequences. That’s how I ended up getting my ass kicked by Jess. I’d rather you punch me than cry. Please stop. I feel bad enough for upsetting a pregnant woman, but now people are staring at me,” he whispered into her hair.
Empathy. The one trait that violent sociopaths lacked was compassion for other people—for their victims. This huge man with arms that could crush her was displaying empathy toward her and concern for how others viewed his actions. His reaction was not what she would have expected from a fighter. And did he just call her beautiful?
When her tears continued, he wrapped his arm around her and gently rubbed her back. “Let me make it up to you. I’ll clean your house or cook you and your boyfriend dinner every night so you don’t have to do…anything. I make a pretty mean stir-fry.”
He held on to her while she tried desperately to stop the tears. After a few moments she realized that instead of a panic attack that should be in full swing by now she was physically relaxing against him…a man!
When the worst of her tears passed, the waiter approached the table with their food and asked Ian quietly, “Is she okay, man?”
“Yeah, she’s just pregnant,” Ian replied by way of explanation.
Humiliation—or something equally crazy—had her burying her face in his solid chest.
After the food was on the table, Ian leaned down and whispered into hair, “He’s gone now. Maybe you should eat something. I bet the little guy is hungry. I get cranky when I’m hungry, too. Here.”
He handed her another tissue from the pack so she wiped her eyes and blew her nose. Then the reality of the situation dawned on her—she was being comforted by a man! A very nice man, but a man nonetheless. She waited for the panic to consume her and force her to fight her way out of his embrace. Amazingly, that didn’t happen. Eventually the smell of the food made her pull back from him. Glancing up, she got an all too close view of his eyes…they really were an amazing color.
Turning back to face the table, her eyes were drawn to the food—his food. She could smell bacon, cheese and potatoes. This must be one of the cravings she’d read about but not, until now, experienced for herself. Rather than moving back to his side of the booth, he reached across the table and pulled his food over with his free hand. His other hand had released her but rested along the back of the booth.
“I see you scoping out my food. You’re as bad as Jess,” he said, unrolling his utensils and dipping his fork into the most delicious-looking thing she could remember seeing in a long time. Then he offered the bite to her.
Something akin to bravery stiffened her spine. She took the fork from his grasp even though she had to touch him slightly. The warm bite was so good she actually closed her eyes to savor it. H
e remained quiet as she swallowed the delicious bit of potato wedge smothered in white cream sauce, cheese and bacon.
“What is that?” she asked breathlessly.
“Pub fries. Fantastic, aren’t they?” he asked with a laugh, taking the fork back from her and scooping up another bite.
“That is the most amazing thing I have ever tasted.”
His laughter softened his whole face, including his ice-colored eyes. When he offered her the fork again she took it. The second bite was even better than the first. After savoring that mouthful she tried to return his fork but instead he switched her meal and utensils for his. He never moved his arm from the back of the booth and he had turned his body to the side to block other people’s view of her. Eating in silence, with him sitting way too close, was the first comfortable feeling she’d experienced since the interview began.
Though she had a head start on her meal, he managed to finish eating first. He watched as she ate what he had ordered. An unrestrained smile spread across her mouth. Setting her fork aside, she picked up his fork from his empty plate, scooped up a bite and held it out to him. Without reservation, he leaned forward and closed his firm lips around the prongs and then closed his eyes as she had done. Courtney couldn’t contain the laugh that escaped.
After Ian helped her finish the last of her food, the waiter dropped off their check. Before she could move, Ian pulled his wallet out of his pocket, put some money on top of the bill and told the man to keep the change. Opening her notepad again, she asked Ian the remaining questions much more comfortably than before. When she finally indicated that she was done, he smiled at her.
“I am very sorry about earlier. What you did at your baby shower was none of my business.”
“It’s okay. I’m sorry, too. I’m kind of a mess these days. I should get going. I didn’t realize this would take so long. I have a class this evening right downtown, so I won’t need that ride home after all, but thanks anyway,” she said. “And thanks for your time today, and dinner.”
“Do you like teaching?” he asked.
“Yes, but in this case I am the student,” she replied. “This is a pregnancy and fetal-development class. It’s at the community college, so I’ll just catch the bus over there.”
“If Jess found out that I let you take the bus, she might do more than just knock me out. I’ll drive you over there and walk you to class,” he said. “I might even pick up a brochure or two so Master Sergeant Hawkins will get off my ass about furthering my education.”
“Oh yeah? What field are you looking into?” she asked, trying to delay responding to his offer. She couldn’t let him drive her anywhere…could she?
“No idea but having brochures lying around should shut him up for a week or two. I keep trying to convince him that blockheads like me aren’t cut out for college,” he replied with a laugh.
“Don’t say that….” She laughed in reply to his silly facial expression, realizing she was actually carrying on a conversation with him…and enjoying it.
Chapter Two
Why were all the women he was interested in either gay or in a relationship and pregnant? Granted now that he knew Jess a little better, a relationship with her would never have worked, regardless of how pretty she was. They were too much alike and being her friend was much better than dating her ever would have been.
Courtney Wells was another matter. She was soft, unlikely to punch him in the balls and even prettier than Jess. Her tears earlier had caught him off guard. All Jess’s warnings about Courtney’s anxiety issues obviously hadn’t sunk in, because the first thing out of his mouth had offended her. Stupid…why did it matter that she’d had a male stripper at her baby shower?
If he was being honest with himself, it wasn’t that Seth had danced at Courtney’s baby shower that bothered him. It was the idea of one of his best friends showing off his body for a woman who left Ian tongue-tied. From the first time he’d met Courtney, he’d been interested.
Finding out she was pregnant had disappointed him more than he cared to admit. She was in a relationship with someone else and about to have the man’s baby. Ian shouldn’t be comforting her, or flirting with her. It wasn’t right. But each time he saw Courtney that same desire to know her persisted. After today the feeling was even stronger.
Courtney’s hair smelled like coconut and felt like silk against his skin. Jess had told him that Courtney was a real honey and off-limits to both of them long before Ian had ever met her. Sitting close to her while eating dinner had driven home just how delicious she really was. Even her obvious discomfort around him didn’t put him off; he’d relished the chance to put her at ease, even though he usually went for more self-assured and outgoing women. There was just something about her.
If he were Courtney’s boyfriend and she were carrying his child, he would put a ring on it for damn sure. Otherwise she’d end up interviewing some other man, crying on his shoulder and then sharing a meal with him in an intimate setting.
After they’d left the restaurant Ian had offered to let her sit in the backseat of his car so she could relax. Glancing back in the rearview mirror now, he knew she was avoiding looking at him. At least one of the two adults in this car was being smart about this.
“I’ll pay for parking if you want to use the garage. It’s the least I can do since you bought dinner,” she offered when he continued to stare at her in the rearview mirror. “You really don’t have to walk me to class, though. I’ll be safe if you just drop me off on campus.”
“Walking is good exercise, especially after everything I just ate,” he said.
After parking, he walked Courtney across the street, through an open courtyard, through two different buildings and into a third one. Courtney nearly collided with the instructor, who had come out to the hallway to pull the classroom door closed. The teacher ushered them in by waving her arm, and Ian soon found himself standing inside a large classroom. The middle was sunken and two-person tables circled the perimeter on three different levels.
“Mr. Wells, it’s so nice to finally meet you. I’m glad you could accompany your wife to class this evening. You’re just in time for the good parts of pregnancy,” the instructor said, holding her hand out to shake his. “I don’t suppose you two would volunteer for demonstration time, since you were nearly late for class?”
He could only smile at the look of bewilderment and amusement Courtney gave him. “Will this make up for my offensive questions at the restaurant earlier?”
She stared at the ground for several seconds as though trying to decide if she was okay with him participating in her class. Then she looked at him shyly and nodded her head yes. He was kind of glad that the time he’d spent with her this afternoon wasn’t over just yet. She was probably only allowing him to stay because she’d been put on the spot in front of the entire class, but he’d take what time he could get. He wasn’t even going to ask why her husband or boyfriend hadn’t yet come to a class with her. He would feel ashamed about pursuing a spoken-for woman later.
They followed the instructor past the rows of tables to the lowered center. Looking around the circle he saw several other couples. He stopped and stood next to Courtney, who looked up at him apologetically. Her smile settled in his stomach like a warm glass of milk before bed.
“Welcome back, everyone. For those of you joining us for the first time, I am Mrs. Campbell and today we are talking about the second trimester of pregnancy,” the woman said. “This is Mr. and Mrs. Wells, and they have graciously volunteered to help demonstrate some of the techniques we will discuss in today’s class. First off, let’s review the changes that occurred for Mom and Baby during the first trimester.”
The participants mentioned several changes, and he was shocked when one woman admitted she was still throwing up once or twice a day. Flu-like symptoms for months sounded like a horrible experience to him, but the woman only smiled about it. A common complaint was being tired. He glanced at Courtney, and she smiled at h
im as if to confirm that she, too, experienced the things the others mentioned.
When one woman described the weird combinations of food she craved, he grinned at Courtney. Where she normally wouldn’t meet his gaze, this time she did, then she blushed and laughed. The same woman went on to talk about how she felt irritable and cried a lot more than she had before becoming pregnant. Ian was relieved that perhaps Courtney’s earlier crying wasn’t completely due to his insensitive comments.
Mrs. Campbell then asked about the changes for the babies and put a slide on the screen that showed fetal development from the first week through the twelfth week of pregnancy. Ian stared at the screen in fascination. In just three months the baby went from looking like a tumor to vaguely resembling an actual infant, though much smaller.
Then Mrs. Campbell asked Courtney to hold up her index finger. “By week twelve, baby is about the size of Mrs. Wells’s finger here.”
Then Mrs. Campbell pulled out a plastic model of a fetus about the same size as Courtney’s finger and passed it around the room. When the model made it to Ian, he held it in the palm of his hand. Then he looked down at Courtney’s mostly flat stomach, amazed that a baby was actually growing in her body right this second. Leaning down, he placed the model against her, trying to imagine her baby growing in there. She tensed slightly, but relaxed when several fathers in the room laughed at what Ian was doing.
He whispered, “Do you mind if Mr. Wells asks how many weeks pregnant Mrs. Wells is?”
She actually snickered out loud and quickly covered her beautiful smile behind her fingers. “Mrs. Wells is ten weeks along.”
Amazing. Looking at the tiny model of the fetus in his hand, he held it between his thumb and index finger flat against her stomach once more. He moved it around as though it were dancing while he hummed a song. Her small hand closed around his much larger one and she pulled the model out of his grasp. At Courtney’s slight caress, the hair on his arms stood up. He made another note to be sorry later for his reactions to the touch of an already taken woman. Damn if he didn’t like it, though…
