by Tonia Brown
“All criminals are losers, Officer Jones,” Frank said. “Have you seen Maloney yet?”
“I have to keep tabs on the boarding line, so yeah, I saw him and his guys.”
“How many?”
“Three.”
“Two dark and greasy little guys and one bald big one?”
Jones seemed impressed at Frank’s guess. “Yeah, sure. How’d you know?”
“Because I have been after Maloney a long time. I know him better than he knows himself.” He motioned the security man to the door. “You better get back to work before someone misses you. Remember, Larry and I are just regular passengers. No need to get folks excited about the FBI being on board. ”
“Sir?” Larry said.
Frank cleared his throat and thought about Larry’s earlier suggestion, and corrected himself. “Actually, if anyone asks, tell them exactly who we are.”
“Are you sure?” Jones said, furrowing his brow in confusion.
“Sure. Let it get around that we’re here.” Frank looked to his partner. “In fact, make sure the cruise director and the captain both are aware of our presence. Better they should know than be surprised later on when we arrest Maloney and his crew.”
Larry nodded in agreement. “Yeah and if anyone has anything to hide, they should start hiding it, because we’re going to find it.”
Frank only hoped the young man’s suggestion worked. It would do their case a lot of good if Maloney or Waldorf made a mistake. Preferably both.
“Got it,” Jones said, and slipped quietly out the door.
Frank pulled the curtain aside to watch Jones disappear around the corner at the end of the narrow walkway.
“You think Waldorf has the cash on him?” Larry asked.
“I’m not sure. I wish I could search his room without causing a stir.”
“We could get Jones to check it out for us.”
“I don’t know. What do you think of him?”
“The officer?” Larry shrugged. “Seems like a regular guy.”
“I guess so.” Frank looked out of the curtains one more time, unable to shake the feeling that something darker was going on here.
He just wished he knew what it was.
Chapter Eight
Don’t Get Personal
Minutes later, a few doors down
“The closet?” Maloney asked.
“Why was he hiding in the closet?” Banjo asked.
“Because he’s a little perv,” Jones said. “Gretchen said she heard him zipping his fly. Or unzipping it. I’m still not sure.”
“I fucking hate perverts,” Marv said.
“Yeah,” Chris said. “They give the rest of us guys a bad name.”
Banjo couldn’t help thinking that some guys didn’t need any help with that. “You saw the bag in his room?”
Jones nodded. “It was in the bottom of the closet. Black duffle. ‘Bout yea big.” Jones held his hands a few feet apart.
“That’s the one,” Banjo said.
“I know that’s the one, you fucking moron,” Maloney said.
Banjo bristled at the insult, and kept his well-paid mouth shut.
Chris and Marv grinned.
“And the pigs don’t know he has the cash?” Maloney said.
“I didn’t let on,” Jones said. “I thought you wouldn’t want them to know.”
“Damn right I don’t want them to fucking know,” Maloney said.
Maloney cracked another nut.
“Is there anything else you want from me?” Jones said.
“Why so nervous?” Maloney said. He tossed one half of the nut into his mouth and began to chew.
“Yeah,” Marv said. “Why so nervous?”
“I’m not nervous.” A bead of sweat rolled down the big guy’s temple.
“You want one?” Maloney offered the other half of the nut to the security guard.
Jones shook his head. “Thanks. I’ll pass. They get stuck in my teeth.”
“Suit yourself.” Maloney tossed the nut into his mouth. “So, you say Wallace and his new boy toy wanted us to know they are along for the ride, huh?”
“Yes, sir. I don’t know why, but they sure wanted everyone to know.”
“What do you think they’re playing at?” Banjo said.
“How the fuck should I know?” Maloney said.
“Maybe they have something planned?” Marv said.
“What the fuck could they have planned?” Maloney said. “We are already pulling out of port. If they planned anything they missed their fucking chance.”
“I don’t know,” Chris said. “They could have something set up at the islands.”
“I got something set up at the islands too,” Maloney said. “It’s called owning the local pigs, you dipshit.”
“Oh yeah,” Chris said. “I forgot about that.”
“Jesus,” Maloney said. “It’s like talking to a bunch of fucking monkeys. Wallace will have to go through my boys to issue a fucking parking ticket, much less plan a fucking bust. Any other bright ideas, dumb asses?”
The dumb asses fell quiet.
“Once we are out in the water I’ll deal with Frank Wallace,” Maloney said. “Me and him have got a score to settle. Meanwhile, I’ve got an idea on how we can shake up that twat and confuse the fuck out of the feds too. Jones, I want you to report back to those fucking G men later tonight. Tell them you saw Waldorf agree to meet me later down in the lower deck.”
“Okay,” Jones said.
“And make sure Waldorf goes down there about nine tonight.”
“How?”
“I don’t fucking care how you make it happen, dipshit, I want him down there tonight. Nine o’clock. I think it’s time we met our new friend and put on a show for the pigs.”
Jones threw Banjo a worried look.
Banjo shrugged. He had a few ideas on how to make sure Waldorf and the feds ended up in the kennel at the same time, and it would cost Jones more than a pitiful glance to earn it.
“Okay,” Jones said. “I’ll make sure he gets down there.”
“Damn right you will,” Maloney said. He motioned to Chris and Marv with an unbroken walnut. “You two make sure everyone knows about Waldorf’s pervy little habits. Spread it around that he plays with himself while sneaking around and other shit like that. I want him to squirm before I put the screws to him.”
“Yes, sir,” they chorused.
Maloney cracked his nut, tossed the meat into his maw, and chewed as he stared quietly at Jones. He cracked another one. And another.
Jones shifted in his stance and swallowed hard, uncomfortable with the loud crack of each shell.
The boss man allowed this silent power play to go on and on and on.
Banjo resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the melodrama.
“Are we done here?” Jones finally said.
“Yeah, I suppose so,” Maloney said. He snapped his fingers at Banjo. “Show our friend out.”
“Yes, sir,” Banjo said. He stood and held his hand out to Jones, gesturing toward the front of the suite.
The security man took the lead, almost running for the exit.
Banjo followed the man from bedroom to study to front room, until they reached the door. “Watch yourself around those Feds. If they find out you’re on the take from the likes of Maloney, they’ll eat you alive.”
“I can handle myself,” Jones said with a sneer. “I’ve been playing this game a long time.”
“Sure you have. After all, a little indiscretion like this one is why they threw you off of the force in the first place.” Banjo placed one of his large hands delicately over his mouth and gasped mockingly. “Oh, but that’s not what the official record says, is it? Something about a knee injury forcing you into early retirement?”
Jones blinked a few times in surprise. “How do you know about that?”
“It’s my business to know,” Banjo said. “Don’t forget your instructions. I’ll check back in with you later
on tonight to see how it went.”
“And my money?” Jones asked quietly.
“Your money will be in your account by the end of the week.” Banjo opened the door. “Thanks for stopping by, Officer.”
Jones lingered in the open doorway, as if he had something on his mind and was too embarrassed to ask.
“What is it?” Banjo said.
“How …” Jones started, then paused and looked to the floor.
“Give Waldorf a kennel key just before nine.”
Jones looked up to Banjo. “What should I say?”
“Tell him the animal handler forgot to give Waldorf the key when he boarded, and the man can visit that mutt of his any time. I guarantee he will run down there to see his dog. You give him a key and I’ll handle the rest.”
The ex-officer smiled, nodded, then left without another word, which Banjo appreciated. He didn’t like to dress folks down so cruelly. He also didn’t like it when peons thought of themselves as professionals. Banjo had been in the business far too long to think of himself as anything other than a journeyman. There was always something new to learn when it came to the art of killing folks for pay.
“Banjo!” Maloney shouted from the bedroom.
With a sigh, Banjo went to see what the boss man wanted now. “Yes, sir?”
“I want that asshole taken care of when we get to the islands,” Maloney said. “You got it?”
“Got it.”
“Mouthy little shit. Who the hell does he think he is?”
“A nobody,” Chris said.
“Damn right,” Maloney said.
“Do you want us to go and get the bag from Waldorf?” Marv asked.
“No way. Not as long as the Feds are watching. We need to get Waldorf to bring it to us. All nice and quiet like.”
“Are you sure? I can slip in and out while he’s gone.”
“Yeah, and give those pigs an excuse to try and arrest me again. Fat chance. I don’t care if they catch Waldorf with the money. Let them focus on him for a while. Besides, the money isn’t important. It’s the principal of the matter. He took something that wasn’t his, and now he has to pay for it. Understood?”
“Understood,” Chris and Marv said together.
Their mannerisms were so much in synch the men often spoke in unison. Both men bore similar looks as well; average build, greasy dark hair, and dull eyes. Banjo often wondered if the pair was separated at birth.
“Speaking of a lack of respect, where the fuck is Penny?” Maloney said.
“I think she is taking a nap before her performance tonight,” Banjo said.
“Performance?” Marv said.
“She singin’?” Chris said. “I like when she sings.”
“She’ll be singing when I’m done with her,” Maloney said. “Tell her to get her sweet ass up here. I want to warm her up before she has a go at that pervert.”
Banjo didn’t really need to hear that. “I’ll go fetch her then.”
Maloney scrunched up his face and said, in a high pitched voice, “I’ll go fetch her then.” In his normal voice he added, “Jesus Christ, Banjo, you talk like you’re so much fucking smarter than the rest of us.”
Chris and Marv grinned together again, each probably pleased that Maloney wasn’t directing his venom toward them.
“Sorry, boss,” Banjo said.
“Damn right you are.” Maloney brushed off the bed around him, shoving armfuls of empty walnut shells onto the floor. “Marv, Chris, go make sure those fuckers in the kennels are feeding my dogs right. I suspect that faggy little cruise director is pocketing my girl’s steak for himself.”
“Yes, sir,” they said, and left.
“Banjo,” Maloney said. “You go get my piece of ass. I’m horny as fuck and I wanna stick it to Penny before dinner.”
“Yes, sir.” Banjo shuddered as he left his boss man to clean the bed.
The idea of Maloney sticking it to anyone was enough to give even a man like Banjo nightmares. It wasn’t that Toney Maloney was physically disgusting. He was fairly average in height, weight, build and looks. No, it wasn’t Maloney’s physical appearance that turned Banjo’s stomach. It was the man’s attitude. It was all grease and no respect.
His minions, Christopher and Marvin, were even worse.
Now Miss Penny, on the other hand, was a nice polite girl. She was one of the few prostitutes Banjo had a shred of respect for, despite her line of work. Sex was just business to her, much like killing was just a job to Banjo. When she wasn’t turning tricks, she held herself with some decorum, and treated others with respect. Despite their various differences, Banjo understood Penny.
He didn’t understand Maloney. He just worked for the man.
Where Maloney and his men had suites on the bow of the ship, Penny had the last first class room at the stern. Whether or not this was just luck of the draw or an effort to keep away from Maloney’s paws, Banjo didn’t know. He approached her door and knocked softly.
“Who is it?” Penny shouted.
“It’s me, Miss Penelope,” he said.
“Come on in, Benjamin.”
Banjo smiled. It had been a long time since he allowed anyone to call him Benjamin. Normally, he didn’t like folks getting too comfortable around him. Penny got to Banjo quickly. Her smile was infectious and her sense of humor refreshing. In the year he had gotten to know her, Banjo had come to appreciate Penny’s company far more than he could ever let on. He found it hard to kill a true friend when the time came, much less a woman he’d grown fond of. Unfortunately for him, that time always seemed to arrive.
He eased the door open a crack and peered into her room.
“Are you decent?” he said.
“Honey, I ain’t been decent since I was a little girl and found out what all that business downstairs was really meant for. Come on in and make yourself at home.”
Banjo slipped into the room and closed the door, shutting out the bright light of the late afternoon sun. He found the plump Penny perched before the dressing mirror, wearing nothing but a set of pink undies; thin, lacey panties hugging her wide hips and a matching bra that barely covered her large breasts. On average, Banjo liked his meat a little on the lean side. However, there was something in the way Penny wore her extra weight, as if her round belly and heavy bosom and thick thighs were the source of her erotic charm. And who knew? Maybe they were. It sure was enough to make Banjo lower his gaze to the floor, lest he enjoy the view too much. Not that he was opposed to the view. He would just rather not walk out of here with a limp.
“I guess you know why I’m here,” he said.
Penny gave a soft sigh. “His royal highness wants to see me.”
“Yeah. Sorry.”
“Not as sorry as me.”
“Why do you put up with him?”
“Same reason as you, Ben. The man pays me a filthy amount of money to do his dirty work.”
Banjo couldn’t deny that. Though, to be fair, there was another reason Banjo put up with the likes of Maloney, and that curvy reason favored pink lace and had a beautiful smile. “Yeah, but your work is a heck of a lot dirtier than mine.”
“I am inclined to agree with you. I reckon I should get dressed. No need to make him wait.”
Banjo kept his eyes to the floor as she moved about the room. “You want me to wait for you?”
“No, you get yourself some fresh air while I take care of Toney. If I know him, he has had you at his beck and call all day.”
“You got that right. Sometimes I wonder why he doesn’t ask me to crack his nuts.” Banjo winced at his own words.
Penny let out a trill of laughter.
“Okay,” Banjo said, “that did not come out the way I meant it.”
“I know exactly what you meant,” she said. “And you’d best hush. He’d kill us both if he heard you talking sass like that.”
“Killing would be lucky.”
“True. Knowing Toney, he’d make us have dinner with his dynamic i
diot duo.”
“Ugh,” Banjos said. “I’d rather cut my own throat.”
Penny giggled again. “Tell me about this chump I’m here to seduce.”
“I don’t know much about him. The boss didn’t give me a lot of time to gather info on the guy.”
“Well, tell me what you know.”
“The mark’s name is Octavious Waldorf.”
“Waldorf? Really?”
“Really.”
“Well that is a weird coincidence.”
“I know. The man is in his forties. Kind of plain looking. Skinny. Pale. Doesn’t get out much.”
“Not much of an outdoorsman, huh?”
“Not from what I could find out.” Banjo kept it to himself that the man worked as a mortician. He figured it might make it harder for Penny to do what Maloney brought her along to do if she knew her mark worked with stiffs for a living. “He’s brought along a schnauzer by the name of Finster. He is in the kennels with the other dogs.”
“Finster. That’s cute. I like it. He sounds like a really nice guy. How did he get mixed up with Toney?”
“Wrong place, wrong time is my guess.”
“Poor sucker.”
“Yeah.”
“Anything else useful?
Banjo’s mind flashed to the bag of ashes in his suitcase. “I don’t know if this will help, but apparently the guy’s uncle just died. Man by the name of Walter.”
“Ouch, it gets worse and worse for him. It does help me out, though. Sympathy is sexy. Can you zip me?”
Banjo looked up again to find Penny with her back to him, pointing over her shoulder to the undone zipper of her slinky red dress. He zipped her up, drawing a rush of strawberry scented air toward him. He inhaled deeply, making certain not to snag her under things, then stepped back a moment to admire her reflection.
“Well?” she said as she turned to face him. “How do I look?”
“Beautiful as always,” he said. “You already know that. You don’t need me to tell you.”
“Damned right I do. A girl just likes to hear it from a gentleman every once in a while.”
“I’m no gentleman.”
She put her hands on her hips and gave a pert little frown. “Don’t you come up into my room with your eyes cast down out of politeness and tell me you ain’t no gentleman. You’re far more of a gentleman than anyone else on this boat.”
