23: Remember
I limped up to the hotel room door hoping Claire was already asleep. Covered in bruises and scraped up by the asphalt, I didn’t really want Claire to see me. She would have had a million questions I was too tired to answer at the moment.
Besides, my night was hardly over. It was already after two in the morning, but I still had to meet Melody tonight. I would need what little strength I had left to survive that encounter.
Pushing the door open with a grunt, I tiptoed into the room and carefully closed the door. Claire was propped up on a couple of pillows, but her eyes were closed and her breathing was slow and rhythmic. As much as I wanted to wrap my arms around her, I was relieved. I hurt too much to do anything more than collapse in a heap anyway.
Thankfully Claire had left the table lamp on. Without its dim light I probably would have tripped over something and woken her up. As it was, I made it to the bathroom without making a sound. I brushed my teeth quickly and attempted to clean up the various small cuts I had all over my arms, hands, elbows, and head. I could feel a few more scrapes in places I couldn’t reach, but I left those alone for the time being.
Looking a little bit better, I tossed the red tinged wash cloth into the sink and hobbled to the bed. I stared at it. The soft comfort it offered made me want to sink down into and never wake up, but sleep would bring my next challenge. One I didn’t want to face.
I was so tired. Tired down to muscles I didn’t think were even meant to be used, but so much more tired of the endless battle. I had been on edge since before meeting with the Elders. It seemed like years ago instead of just days. I just didn’t have the strength to face Melody again tonight. Could I recount the story of her first date with Harvey without falling for her sweet nature and honest heart myself?
I glanced down at Claire and felt like I could deny myself anything to keep her near me, but Claire’s own words haunted me. No one had ever escaped the bond completely by will alone. Why would I be any different? I knew merely suppressing the bond wasn’t going to be enough for me and Melody. It was too strong. It would have to be broken completely. I risked losing myself to Melody every time I looked into her emerald eyes. The desire to give in pulsed under my skin constantly. I could ignore it, but for how long? It got stronger with every beat.
I was too exhausted to put myself in such a dangerous position, but I knew I had little choice in the matter. If I didn’t lie down, I’d fall asleep on my feet. Either way, a meeting with Melody was inescapable. My aching muscles begged me to at least lie down. Lying down without flopping proved to be a challenge, but Claire must have been in a very deep sleep, as she didn’t even stir an inch. I reached over and took Claire’s hand, anchoring myself to her.
Falling asleep was no challenge at all.
My eyelids closed and sleep took me, but my eyes seemed to snap right back open, into the darkness of the in-between place where I knew Melody was waiting.
A wave of anxiety and fear washed over me, forceful enough to push me back a few steps. I turned toward the source and saw Melody barreling towards me with an intensity to match Talon. The tears in her eyes and drawn frown on her face pulled at me. She was afraid. I wasn’t sure of the cause beyond the obvious, but I yearned to correct it, to shield her from any more pain or hurt. I staggered under the weight of my desire.
Melody reached out for me, and I almost took her hands. I slight tingling pressure on the hand that was holding Claire’s back in the waking world stopped me. I held up my hands in warning instead. Melody recognized the gesture. A look of sickening guilt snapped onto her face and stopped her cold.
“I almost ran right up and hugged you,” she gasped. “I can’t believe I almost did that. I’m so sorry. I just…I’ve been waiting here and I couldn’t find you. I thought maybe something had happened.”
Fresh tears sprang up and spilled down her cheeks. I had to bite the inside of my cheek to the point of drawing blood in order to stop myself from rushing over to her. My entire body ached to be near her. In that moment, I wanted nothing more than to put my arms around her shoulders and dry the tears on her cheeks. Melody sank down to her knees and covered her face with her hands.
“I felt so much pain through the bond,” she whispered. “I thought you were hurt, that maybe one of those horrible creatures had found you and hurt you. I…I was so afraid that you would die. And not just because then you wouldn’t be able to rescue me, but because I didn’t think I could handle it if you did die. I think it might kill me too.”
Could we really be that connected? The endless hours spent with Ahiga had been absolutely brutal, but as I walked away I felt like I had learned more from him than I had ever hoped to learn from Quaile about the Matwau’s weaknesses. I had considered the pain a fair trade for the information gained. Knowing that Melody had felt every blow and fall along with me increased the cost greatly, but even had I known, I wouldn’t have turned away Ahiga’s help. I needed it too badly.
I did owe Melody an explanation, though. Settling into a cross-legged position with my hands tucked safely away, I faced Melody’s trembling body.
“I had no idea you would feel all of that, Melody. I’m sorry.”
Letting her eyes slide over my injuries, Melody winced. She folded her arms tightly against her chest. I was certain that her need to heal and help living creatures was begging her to soothe my pain. Not giving in to that desire left a pained expression on her face.
“What happened to you? Were you attacked?” she asked. The concern in her voice was pure and pleading, and so hard to resist.
“Yes…but not in the way you’re thinking,” I was quick to add. “Someone came to help me. He taught me about the Matwau and how to defeat him.”
Melody frowned at my cuts again. “Who was he, and why couldn’t he just tell you what you need to know. It looks like he tried to kill you.”
That was pretty close to the truth. Ahiga played the Matwau in our training duels. He was very convincing. A crooked smile snuck onto my lips. “His teaching style was very effective,” I said.
“Who was he?”
Claire would most likely accept my explanation with a moderate amount of disbelief, but I really couldn’t expect the same from Melody.
“He was a friend that unexpectedly showed up just in time,” I said. Melody raised an eyebrow at me. “It’s a little difficult to explain. Could you just humor me and pretend everything makes sense?”
Melody seemed to mull the question over before saying, “Is your friend coming back? I don’t think I can handle going through that again.” Her last few words were nearly drowned out with a high pitched sobbing noise.
My nails dug into the sides of my chest. Luckily my thin t-shirt provided little protection.
“No, he won’t be coming back.”
Ahiga had been very forthcoming about that. His offer to help was a onetime deal, and he made sure I learned it very well before disappearing into the night.
“Okay, as long as he isn’t coming back I won’t ask you anything else about it,” Melody said. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. Don’t worry about it," I said. I suddenly wished I could sink into a shadow and hide my scrapes and bruises. I didn’t want Melody worrying about me any more than was absolutely necessary. I knew just how to take her mind off of me.
“You were right about Harvey, by the way,” I said.
“Harvey? What do you mean? Did you talk to him today?” Melody asked. Her quick words seemed to be trying to cover up the guilt in her eyes that she hadn’t already asked about him.
“You were right about Harvey not letting me tell him to stay behind. He was following us the whole time,” I said.
Melody grinned and I watched the guilt melt away. “I knew he would come for me. I knew it.” Glancing down at her hand, Melody twisted her wedding band around her finger.
I had been thinking only of my own pain when I told Harvey to stay behind. Melody’s shaking hands had calmed the instant
I reaffirmed her husband’s love for her. I hadn’t even thought of how knowing her beloved Harvey had willingly stayed behind would affect her. Although, I never actually expected to have to face Melody before rescuing her from the Matwau’s trap.
Pushing away my self-criticisms, I focused on my purpose for the meeting. Melody needed more than knowing Harvey was on his way to see her. She knew as well as I did that Harvey couldn’t save her, not really. Only I could save her physically, and only she could save her love for her husband.
“I told Harvey everything.”
I held my breath, waiting for Melody’s reaction. Her fingers stopped twisting the ring and her breath failed to expand her chest again.
“What did he say?” she asked in a breathless whisper.
“I’m not sure he believed everything I said, but I think at this point he doesn’t care what he has to face as long as he can see you again.”
Those weren’t Harvey’s exact words, but his eagerness to share the intimate stories that wove him and Melody together made it unnecessary.
“You’re not going to actually let him face the Matwau, are you?” Melody asked with wide eyes. “You’re the only one who can beat him. You have no idea how happy I am that Harvey is with you, but you can’t let him get anywhere close to the Matwau. You have to promise me, Uriah. Keep Harvey safe. If he’s gone, I don’t know how I’ll ever find the strength to turn away from you.”
Keep Harvey safe. One more responsibility in a very long list. Could I even make that promise? I wanted to. I knew how important it was that Harvey be waiting with open arms when Melody was away from the Matwau, but how could I promise to keep Harvey safely away? I couldn’t even manage to ask the same of Claire.
The desperation in Melody’s eyes demanded an answer. I was stronger than Harvey. I could keep him away if I really had to.
“I promise, Melody. I’ll keep Harvey safe,” I said.
She nodded her head, as if my promise really meant that everything would turn out the way she wanted it to. I wished I had as much faith as she did.
“Okay, then,” Melody said, “I have something to tell you, too.”
“What?” I asked. I hadn’t even thought of the information I’d asked Melody to gather. Even when I asked her last night I hadn’t actually expected her to come up with much. “Were you able to find any clues about where he’s taking you?”
Melody’s anxious nods bobbed up and down. “I overheard him talking to those creatures this afternoon,” she said. “I don’t think he thought I could hear him, but he acted like it didn’t really matter whether I could or not. He has no idea that I can speak with you.”
That was certainly a relief. I had been wondering about what exactly the Matwau did know. This strange in-between place seemed to be a mystery even to Kaya and Samantha, but the Matwau knew more than any other creature or human alive.
“What did you hear?” I asked.
“One of his creatures showed up to give a report on what the others were doing. The Matwau got really mad at the wolf when it said that they were having trouble getting rid of all the animals in the area.”
Nodding slowly, I considered the news. It wasn’t that surprising. I had suspected the Matwau would either try to find a place with few animals that I could call on, or would do something to drive out the animals in whatever area he chose. I wondered how far he could reach. I wondered if it was as far as I could reach.
“Did the creature say what the problem was?”
“Prairie dogs. They couldn’t get them to leave. They live underground,” Melody said.
I grimaced at the mention of the little creatures. I hated prairie dogs. They tore up our grazing pastures with their snaking holes. The prairie dogs were an interesting problem. I wasn’t sure of every place they chose to make their homes, but I knew they lived all over the southwest. In a way that reinforced my idea about where the Matwau was leading us, but it also made me reconsider my refusal to believe we would meet in New Mexico. I knew firsthand how difficult prairie dogs were to get rid of. Could I have been wrong about that as well?
“Tell me what else they said,” I demanded.
Melody ran through their conversation quickly. It had been so brief. The mention of the prairie dogs was barely a clue by itself. Knowing that there would be traps was useful to know, though not as useful as knowing what the traps were. The most helpful thing Melody had been able to tell me was that the Matwau’s allies would be back watching us soon, if they weren’t already. I would ask Talon about that as soon as I woke up.
Finding the Matwau’s secret meeting place seemed next to impossible, but I had a plan just in case Harvey's friend actually managed to come up with something plausible. It was also my plan for keeping both Claire and Harvey out of danger. If Claire agreed to go, I wasn’t breaking my promise not to ask her to leave. I had already guessed that the Matwau would know if I suddenly made a beeline for his secret place.
No, I would follow like the mindless sheep he expected me to be. But I would follow alone. If we found the right place I would send Harvey and Claire to scope it out before me. With any luck they would be able to find something useful, but even if they didn’t, they would be out of the Matwau’s direct line of sight.
“Uriah?” Melody’s voice cut through my thoughts, bringing my eyes straight to hers. “Uriah, are we going to make it through this?”
Her bottom lip trembled as she spoke. The tips of her fingers were red from how tightly she was clasping her hands. I realized that my own hands were tingling with numbness.
“We’ll be okay, Melody. I’ll find you one way or another and take you home,” I promised.
“But what if neither of us wants to go back?” Melody asked in a trembling sob. I could actually feel her despair seeping into me. I could feel all of her emotions pulsating off of her and reaching out for me, begging me to make them better.
I jumped away from Melody and shook out my arms and legs, heaving in deep breaths. Opening and closing my fingers, stomping my feet, anything to keep me from pulling her into my arms and admitting that part of me was hoping for just that outcome. I had to turn away from her. Pressing my fingers into my other hand, I squeezed the wound there. Pain raced up my arm and reminded me of Claire. I had torn my body for her. She had done even worse for me. Picturing the scars that would never fade from my mind even if they one day left her skin, I was finally able to turn and face Melody again.
“It won’t come to that,” I said. “It won’t. Who’s to say that I’ll have to touch you in order to free you? If I kill the Matwau, you’ll be free. I don’t have to touch you to kill the Matwau. We can both walk away.”
I was babbling, but I couldn’t help it. I was so scared of having to make that choice. I wanted to believe I would never have to face it.
“What if he makes you touch me?” Melody asked. “What if there’s no other way to save me but to grab me right out of his hands? Will you still do it?”
“Of course I will.”
“Would you really?”
Bhawana’s dream haunted me. The Twin Soul bond would form and carry the young couple away to eternal bliss. What if she was right? What if the bond formed and I lost all my love for Claire? Was I really willing to take that risk? A part of me screamed that I would, that I would do anything for Melody, but I didn’t recognize that voice. My heart and mind held steady, telling me that Claire was what I really wanted. Claire was my life. But Melody was part of my soul.
I tried to lie to myself and say Melody meant nothing to me. I only wanted to save her because it wasn’t in me to leave a helpless victim to die when I could rescue them. The lie was easily seen. On a level I never before knew existed, Melody was part of me. She was connected to me. If I let her die, something in me would die as well. I would go back to Claire less than what I was before. That missing piece would gnaw at me until it consumed me. I could no more turn my back on Melody than stop breathing and still expect to live.
Knee
ling back down in front of Melody, I said, “I will save you, no matter the cost.”
She stared deep into my eyes. I could almost feel her searching my face, making sure of my answer. My eyes wandered from hers and took in the contours of her face. I had never really met this woman, but I felt like I knew her intimately. I doubted she could tell me a secret I would not already know.
Everything about her felt so familiar, the gentle arch of her eyebrows, the defined slant of her cheekbones, even the way the very top of her ear seemed to curve inward a little too much. The most familiar of all, though, were her lips. I did not need to imagine what it felt like to kiss her pale pink lips. I already knew. I had done it countless times already. Where and when, I couldn’t name, but I knew the absolute pleasure of their touch.
“I remember our first kiss,” Melody whispered.
My eyes, which I didn’t remember closing, fluttered open. I was mere inches away from Melody’s flushed face. I didn’t remember moving so close to her, either, but I found it impossible to move away. Her words floated around in my mind. I suddenly found it very difficult to focus on them and understand. Did she say that she remembered our first kiss?
“I don’t know how I remember,” Melody said softly, “but I do. We were outside. I don’t know how old we were. Age didn’t seem to exist where we were. I remember a bird singing nearby. It wasn’t hot or cold, but there was a breeze.”
I wanted to close the distance between us, but I held back and forced my lips to speak instead. I had to do something with them. “What else do you remember?”
“I remember you holding me in your arms. Then slowly your hand reached up behind my head, and very gently pulled my face closer to yours.” Her voice was so quiet I could barely hear what she was saying. I strained to hear every word. “You didn’t say anything. You just leaned in and pressed your lips against mine. I knew joy in that moment. I never wanted to forget it.”
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