Claire was fearless, but she scrambled behind me. I wanted to do something similar. The creature I was destined to defeat squared his ragged body as he faced me. In my periphery I could see Melody struggling to get away from the Matwau’s creatures which had taken up their watch once again. Talon was dodging between the beasts in an attempt to help her escape. Harvey was frozen between running to his wife and trying to help me. I didn’t have a lot of faith that he could do either, but whatever his choice was I didn’t have the time to think about. I was facing down the Matwau with the key to defeating him locked somewhere inside my mind.
I didn’t have a lot of faith in myself at that moment.
“Failure,” the Matwau growled, “you stink of it, Uriah. You tried to kill me, and you failed. It is stuck so tightly to you now that it has reached your bones. It is inside of you now.”
My hand began to shake. My eye twitched. A strange pain starting building at the base of his neck. The Matwau’s words, they were familiar. I pressed the heel of my hand to my forehead. The pain was getting worse. Ahiga had said the same thing to me, but that wasn’t why the words seemed so familiar. He said them when I asked why the gods hadn’t sent my dad to teach me instead of him. Ahiga’s answer was that my dad had already taught me, that his lesson was inside of me.
“It is inside of you now,” I whispered. As soon as the words left my mouth, the pain in my head spread like a blanket over my mind, breaking barriers and letting everything spill out.
***
The barn was so far away I shouldn’t have been able to hear anything that was happening in it, but I knew instinctively that was where the sound had come from.
Standing very still, I listened again. It was faint, but I could hear my name being called. It sounded like my dad. There was something wrong with his voice. The sound came again, louder, more urgent. Something was definitely wrong. He needed me. An anguished cry sent me rocketing over the fence and toward the barn. Before the sound faded I had sprinted the entire distance, stumbling into the barn to find my dad lying on the floor in agony.
“Dad!” I cried. “What happened? Are you okay?”
I slid to the floor next to him and lifted his head into my lap. He tried to speak, but the pain contorted his face too much. His jaw was locked so tightly I was afraid it would crack into pieces. I yelled for my mom, but I didn’t know if she could hear me from inside the house. My heart was racing. I was almost sure I knew what this was. He clutched at his arm, was having a hard time breathing, and he was obviously in pain. I knew the symptoms of a heart attack. I slid his body back to the floor and started to stand up, trying to keep my panic from showing.
“Dad, wait here,” I said. My voice shook. So did my hands. “I’m going to go get Mom. We’ll call and ambulance and get help. I’ll be right back, okay?”
As soon as I moved his eyes opened wide. The hand that had been clutching his arm reached out and caught my shirt. He yanked me back to the floor. I tried to pry his hand free. If I didn’t get help soon he could die.
“Dad, I’ll be right back. Let go, please!”
“You can’t…go yet…Uriah,” my dad said, his voice broken as he gasped for air. “I have…to tell you…”
“You can tell me later. I have to get help!”
“No!” His voice was so forceful that it stopped me. It almost looked as if the pain had disappeared. The trembling in the hand that held my t-shirt told the truth. “I have to…tell you the truth, Uriah.”
“The truth about what?”
“About your purpose.”
“What?”
“Just listen…to me!” he demanded.
I was counting the seconds in my head, debating whether running off would make him panic, if it would be worse than waiting a few seconds to hear him out. I didn’t know what to do.
“Dad, just let me go get Mom,” I begged.
His other head clapped behind my neck and pulled me down close to him. “I don’t…have time. You aren’t who…you think you are. You’re a hero, son. I’ve tried to teach you, but…but there’s one more lesson…you have to learn.”
His face twisted as the pain became too much. I tried to pull away again, but he held me impossibly tight. I couldn’t get away without hurting him. I screamed for my mom again and again. I kept it up until my dad came back to himself and jerked me around to face him.
“One…more…lesson. The power…you can’t give it up without embracing it first. It has grown…slowly, but it’s all there now. As much as you can gain on your own is there. It is inside you now. You’ll have to…have to give it up, but you can’t…not until you embrace it first.”
“Dad, what are you talking about? What power? Just let go of me so I can go get Mom!”
“You know!” he shouted.
The effort curled him up as the pain swept through him. This was bad. Time was running out. I yelled for my mom again, as loud as my lungs could manage. When he stopped convulsing I pulled my dad’s head back onto my lap.
“You know what power,” he said. “The animals listen to you, your strength, Claire…it’s all the power. I know you don’t want it, but you have to accept who you are. Gather your power into your soul, make it a part of you. Then you can set your soul and the power free.”
“What? Dad, that makes no sense! Why would I set my soul or power free? It sounds like that would kill me? Why would I ever want to do that?”
This was insane! He had no idea what he was saying. Something was wrong, the pain was confusing him.
“It’s the only way to kill him,” my dad wheezed. “Power and soul together. A soul is made of power too. We are the gods’ children. The gods’ power and human life, it’s the only way to kill him.”
“Human life? My life?”
I had no idea what he was talking about, but when he nodded, something in my mind closed, hopefully forever.
39: Ashes
Evil power of the dark gods was building around the Matwau, but I couldn’t move. I couldn’t do anything. My life, my power. No wonder I had buried that as deep as I did. Instinctively my feet moved me back a step. The Matwau laughed at my cowardice. When this mess started I was asked to give Claire up to another man in order to save her life. I hated it, but I did it. I would do anything for Claire. Or so I had claimed.
My devotion to her was being challenged again. If I couldn’t do it, everyone in this valley would die. I could save her, and Melody, and everyone else. The only price was my life.
In my eyes it was a fair trade.
I stepped away from Claire. She tried to follow, but I held a hand up to stop her. For once, she listened without arguing. I sidestepped away from her, drawing the Matwau’s attention. I wasn’t sure how long I had spent digging up my memory, but the Matwau looked almost fully healed. He eyed me with a snarl. There was no fear left in him. I had thrown everything I had at him and he had seen me fail. He watched me lure him away from the others condescendingly. As I walked I did exactly what my dad told me to do.
I had worried at first that I didn’t know how to pull my power into my soul, but then the hours spent with him in combat training, centering my thoughts to achieve balance and calm came to my rescue. Before I fought or shot or even played a game I would follow his technique of drawing my thoughts inward to my center and holding them there until I was in total control of my body and mind. I realized now that what he was teaching was what had allowed me to shield my thoughts so easily.
I did the same thing now. As my thoughts came to my call, so did my power. I didn’t think they were even separate things. They pulled in and sank into what I had always thought was my inner strength. It was actually my soul.
I took them in all in, and for the first time in my life was glad to have them. Whether I had ever wanted to be a hero or not, the Matwau still would have come for me. What I had once hated now became my closest companion. Without the power, the destiny, I never would have made it here. The Matwau would have killed me, and Claire.
I didn’t embrace who I was out of a desire to be immortalized in myth. I embraced it because it was the only thing that was going to make it possible for me to save Claire’s life for good. That was reason enough.
I pulled the power in and felt it sink deep into my soul, becoming inseparable.
“Now you are going to fight me?” the Matwau asked when I had led him a good distance away from Claire. “It doesn’t matter now, if you die. You understand that, right? In this place, I won’t stop with just you. Everyone you drug into this valley will die. This place strips away my limitations. I will kill every one of you.”
“Not if I kill you first.”
I didn’t wait for him to laugh at me. I ran straight for him, straight to my death, and I did it with a smile.
Ahiga had prepared me for this. My dad had prepared me. All I had to do now was get my hands on the Matwau. Rushing forward, I lunged for his neck. He might have thought I was a fool, but he didn’t let that hold him back. The Matwau slashed out at me with arms that were no longer human. I didn’t know what animal he was borrowing from, but claws were claws. I fell into a roll in time to see the glistening black razors sweep half an inch above my nose. The second hand whipped across and I dug my toes into the sand and jumped forward.
I hit him low, wrapped him up like I was on the football field, and braced myself for the impact. It came, but not from the direction I was expecting. The Matwau’s body crashed down on top of me. My breath blasted out of my body. I couldn’t understand how our positions had switched until I saw Talon’s furry body fly across my field of vision. His teeth were clamped into the Matwau’s shoulder, yanking him to the ground. I tumbled with them.
Talon released the Matwau’s shoulder and bit down on his arm instead. I leaped for the other one. My physical strength alone wasn’t enough to pin him down, so I reached for my power. The Matwau howled as the familiar pain invaded his body again. He bucked and screamed, his voice taunting me.
“You’re just a worthless human,” he croaked. “You can’t win.”
Pinning my enemy to the ground, I leaned forward until my face was inches away from him. “Humans are children of the gods. You’re just their tool. I have a soul, a piece of them inside me. With that, I have everything I need.”
Mind shattering fear gripped the Matwau. He would never understand why I was willing to give up my life for my friends, but he knew without doubt that he was about to die. I let go of his arms and slammed my palms down on his chest. With the impact came the killing touch backed by everything I had left.
The Matwau shifted underneath me continuously, trying to find any form that would let him squirm away. I refused to give up. These were his last seconds on earth. The Matwau could recover from any wound he received by those of this world, but I was not wholly of this world. I had more inside of me than any other human or animal. All I had to do was give it all up. The first time my power had nearly run away from me in its desire to destroy the Matwau. This time, combined with my soul, it moved more slowly, less eager. I pushed without stopping.
Screams of terror flew out of the Matwau’s hands as I pressed down. I felt light as my soul slid away from my center and into the Matwau, but even more amazing was watching my palms burned their way through his skin, through bone, and into his chest cavity. He knew what was happening. He shifted again and again, but my hands only sunk deeper until they reached the soft tissue of his heart.
With one final push, power and soul lurched away from my body and careened into his heart. They spread through his entire being, cleansing it of evil and leaving nothing behind. Fire erupted from my hands and engulfed his heart. The flames never touched me. I held on through the Matwau’s dying screams and useless thrashing and waited for the last of my combined power and soul to abandon me and consume the final remnants of his evil. Smoldering ashes swirled around me until at last my power pulled away and consumed him entirely. My empty body collapsed amid the ruins.
40: Unknown
Nothing in the valley moved. No one breathed, no wind blew, no leaves stirred, not a grain of sand moved. I couldn’t even begin to process what I had just seen. When Uriah first moved away from me I thought he was trying to lure the Matwau away so everyone else could run. I was stunned when he ran straight at the creature. Only Talon had thought to help him. Now they both lay so still, buried by the ashes of a monster.
I took a step forward. I tried to take another, but I couldn’t. Uriah wasn’t moving. He wasn’t breathing. But he was smiling. I tried to step forward again but my legs buckled and I fell to the ground. “No, no, please,” I whispered.
Harvey moved past me to Uriah. I wanted to scream at him not to touch him. Touching him would make it real. I couldn’t accept that. He wasn’t dead. He wasn’t dead! The gods couldn’t put us through all of this not let us be together.
We forced you into nothing.
The voice I had heard before when I was transferring my power to Uriah startled me into jumping.
The choice was yours, Claire.
I had the urge to look for the source of the voice, but I knew there was nothing to see. “We chose, but we didn’t understand how hard it would be. You all knew we didn’t understand. How could we?”
You understood enough.
“It wasn’t fair. It isn’t fair now. You can’t take him from me,” I whispered angrily.
We took nothing. Uriah gave willingly.
“For you! He gave his life to stop a monster you allowed to be created! He cleaned up your mess and you let him die in payment for his service? How is that balanced? How is that fair?” I was yelling. Melody and Harvey probably thought I had lost it. If this was my only chance to speak to the gods, well I was going to give them every ounce of anger and hurt they had heaped on us two-fold in return.
Gods can see more than humans. Our view of fairness is much different than yours in most things…
I opened my mouth to tell her exactly what I thought of that. She wasn’t finished.
…but not in this.
“What?”
I waited for the voice to explain. What did that mean? They saw fairness different than us in most things, but not in this?
“What do you mean?” I begged. But no one answered. Not in words anyway.
A yelp from Melody drew my attention. I stumbled to my feet in fear and amazement.
The Matwau’s ashes were…rising. Every speck of his destroyed body lifted into the air. Harvey pulled Melody back, but I stepped forward. The ashes drifted together. They hovered over Uriah’s body. Frightened that they would hurt him, I tried to brush them away. My hand swept through without moving them anywhere. I tried again, but pulled my hand back when the ash started to hum.
The tiny specks vibrated and pulled together even more tightly. The black cloud took shape, mimicking the lines of Uriah’s fallen body. Now a single entity, the ash quivered faster and faster until the black of the ash began to fall away, leaving…light.
Uriah’s power was spent, never to be retrieved, but he gave his soul as well, and a soul can never truly be destroyed. We have gathered his soul back together, and now we return it to him.
At her word, the glowing silhouette drifted down and disappeared inside Uriah’s body. For a heartbeat that lasted an eternity nothing happened. When I saw his smile twitch into a grimace I ran for him. My body fell against his with an audible crack, but he didn’t complain. His eyes blinked open at the impact. As soon as he saw me his arms locked around my body. I started bawling like a baby, but Uriah just shook his head.
“I don’t understand. How am I alive? I used the power in my soul to kill him. It was the only way. My dad said a god’s power and a human life was the only way to defeat him. How did I not die?”
“I don’t know,” I cried. “I think you did, but the gods…the ash started floating, and then it looked like you…it turned white and it sank into you. The voice said souls can’t be destroyed, that they gathered it and gave it back. I don’t know, Uri
ah, but you’re here! You’re still alive!”
He tried to say something, but I wasn’t listening. I pulled him in for a kiss and didn’t let go. I didn’t think I ever would have let go if Harvey hadn’t pulled on me. I still tried to ignore him, but when he said something about Talon, Uriah and I both pulled back. It didn’t take much to see what was wrong. Lying in the sand next to us, Talon’s body shuddered with each breath. I had seen him run in to help Uriah, but I hadn’t seen the gash running along his ribcage.
Little blood ran from his wounds now. It had all leaked out to the sand some time ago. Uriah’s hands trembled as he lifted his friend’s body to find a pool of blood beneath him. His expression was pained. He kept scrunching his face, closing his eyes, but I didn’t know why.
“I can’t talk to him anymore,” Uriah said quietly. The agony in his voice cut through the silence like shears. “Everything’s gone. I can’t talk to him anymore. I can’t thank him for helping me. I wouldn’t have gotten the Matwau down without him. I can’t…I can’t say goodbye.”
Tears shone in his eyes. I laid my hand on his shoulder. My own tears were already streaking through the grime on my face. “He knows, Uriah,” I said. “Talon loved you. He knows you loved him, too. You don’t need words anymore.”
He nodded, but even without words he needed to show his friend what he had meant to him. Sliding his arms under the massive cougar’s body, Uriah hefted the cougar into his lap as best he could. Talon growled at being moved, but it was weak. When he was resting in Uriah’s arms his pain seemed to lessen. His tawny head nestled against Uriah and his eyes closed. We all sat vigil. We knew what was coming, but when Talon’s chest finally stopped rising and falling, it affected everyone. Uriah cried and rocked his friend’s body as his grief tumbled out.
It was a long while before my sweet Uriah was finally able to lay Talon down and stand. He walked away silently, only to return with a large flat rock. Without a word he started scooping the sand away. I didn’t notice that Harvey had even left until he came back with another rock and joined Uriah. Melody and I moved to Talon’s body, doing our best to clean him. When the grave was dug, it was Uriah who gently laid him inside and covered him. We all wanted to help, but it was something he wanted to do on his own.
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