by Terri Reed
Had the knife been a present from a woman? Nathanial hadn’t yet asked if there was someone in his life waiting for him. His chest ached thinking about it.
“I have one, too,” Drew interjected. “Which is why I know you didn’t leave that roof of your own free will. You wouldn’t have left that behind.”
Nathanial’s gaze bounced between the two men. “Who was the gift from?”
Drew looked at Blake.
Blake swallowed. “From me. It was a groomsman gift.”
“I was in your wedding.” Nathanial’s voice sounded strangled to his own ears. Obviously they’d been good friends. His heart ached. Why, Lord, can’t I remember these men?
“You were my best man,” Blake added in a rough voice.
Best friends.
He heard Audrey’s sharp intake of breath. A wave of frustration hit him, making his stomach roil and his heart feel crushed. He tried to remember, to call up memories of a happy period in his life. But there was nothing but a black abyss that threatened to swallow him whole.
As if sensing the turmoil going on inside him, Audrey slipped her hand into his. He took comfort from her touch, her steady presence.
“Enough with the bro-fest.” Chase whirled from the window and stalked toward him.
Nathanial tensed. Drew made a move to intercept Chase, but the ATF agent held up his hand and shook his head before he returned his attention to Nathanial. The barely suppressed fury wasn’t as surprising as the pain underlining the more volatile emotion.
“We came here to uncover the truth.” Chase’s tone was ragged, haunted. “My men deserve that.”
Everything inside Nathanial froze. “What aren’t you telling me?”
Nathanial looked to Blake. The grimness in his eyes didn’t bode well. A lump of dread lodged in Nathanial’s throat. A heavy, oppressive weight bore down on him. He focused back on Chase. The world narrowed to where he could see only the other man’s blue eyes.
“Two of my men died because you left your post.”
NINE
The air rushed out of Audrey’s lungs. Warmth from the sheriff’s station’s heater had sweat breaking out on her skin beneath the heavy weight of her uniform vest. The declaration by the man named Chase echoed in her head. Men had died because Nathanial hadn’t been there to warn them of an attack.
Her gaze swept over the other men, hoping for some sign of denial, but the anguish in each man’s eyes told the truth. Her heart twisted with empathy. Losing a comrade in arms was never easy. That these men blamed Nathanial sent a shiver across her nape. She wanted to defend him, tell them he would never do what they were accusing him of, yet did she really know what he would or wouldn’t do?
Was she letting her heart rule over her head?
She knew next to nothing about this man, yet she couldn’t shake the deep, instinctive reaction that kept her glued to his side. She wouldn’t condemn him without proof. But she’d better keep her heart in check. Letting herself become attached to this man wasn’t wise, because if her gut was wrong, she’d not only be embarrassed and in potential danger but she risked having her heart bruised again. A fate she wanted to avoid at all costs.
Standing beside her, Nathanial swayed. For a moment she thought he was going down. She reached out to steady him as he sank onto the chair the ICE agent, Blake, had previously offered him.
Nathanial put his head into his hands. “I wish I could remember what happened.”
The tortured tone of his voice tugged at her heart. She met Blake’s gaze. “He was hit over the head and thrown into the sea. We found a tracking device embedded in his boot heel. That has to mean he wasn’t involved, right?”
Blake’s eyes widened, and he shared a glance with the Mountie. “Someone took him out of commission.”
“But the question is who,” Drew stated.
Luke Wellborn, the US Border Patrol agent, had been hanging back but now stepped forward, his boyish face pale. “One of Kosloff’s men.”
The AFT agent, Chase, rubbed his jaw. “Or one of ours,” he stated grimly. “There’s no way Kosloff knew we were there unless a mole told him. But whether Officer Longhorn was involved or not is still up for debate. We don’t know that he was attacked. He could have easily slipped, hit his head and fallen into the ocean. After giving up my men’s location.”
“Then how do you explain someone trying to kill him? Repeatedly,” Audrey shot back.
“There’s no honor among bad guys.” Chase shrugged. “He may have outlived his usefulness.”
“I don’t believe that,” Blake said. “I know Nathanial. He would never betray his country or the team.”
Did they forget he was sitting there? She didn’t like that they talked about John, er, Nathanial—it was weird to be calling him by a different name now—so callously. Yet he couldn’t defend himself, because he didn’t know the truth. His mind refused to cooperate. It was maddening and frightful at the same time.
“I agree,” Drew said. “I trust Nathanial.”
“We’ll let the director make the determination of his guilt or not,” Chase said. He fixed his gaze on Nathanial. “We’re taking you to the IBETs headquarters.”
Nathanial lifted his head. “Which is where?”
“Washington, DC.” Blake moved closer and put a hand on Nathanial’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, we’ll keep you safe.” Blake glanced at her. “Thank you, Deputy. We’ll take it from here.”
For some reason his assurance didn’t alleviate the worry in Audrey’s gut. She couldn’t just let go of the case, not to mention she didn’t quite trust these men. It was her job to protect her community, to protect this man and to do her job she needed to uncover the truth.
And the only way she would be able to discover what was really going on was if she stuck close to Nathanial. She was about to tell the ICE man that when Nathanial jerked to his feet.
“No. I’m not going with you,” he said. The panic in his dark eyes wrenched at her heart. “I don’t know you. You say I do, but I don’t remember you, and I’m supposed to just trust you?”
She couldn’t stop herself from putting her hand on his arm, offering him some comfort.
His gaze jerked to her and held for a long moment, and then he took a shuddering breath. His expression clearing, his jaw hardened. “I have to go with them.”
Narrowing her gaze, she protested, “No, you don’t. You’re in my custody. I’m not ready to release you.”
His eyes softened before shuttering, closing off his emotions. “It’s time. I’ve put you in enough danger.”
Her back teeth slammed together as she curbed the jolt of disbelief and anger that reared up. If he thought he was going to sacrifice his safety by going with these men that he’d already admitted he didn’t know or trust because of some misguided sense of chivalry, he had another thing coming. She didn’t need anyone protecting her. She was capable of protecting herself and him. “If you go, I go.”
He blinked and tucked his chin. “I can’t ask that of you.”
She arched an eyebrow. “You’re not. And hear me clearly, I’m not asking for your permission, either.”
A small smile curved his lips. “You’re a force to be reckoned with, Deputy Martin.”
Heat crept up her neck, but she held his gaze. “Yes. And don’t forget it.”
He laughed at that. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”
“Then that’s settled,” Sheriff Crump said, stepping into the conversation. “Deputy Martin will escort Officer Longhorn to Washington, DC, for his debriefing with Director Moore.”
All four federal agents stared at the sheriff.
Blake canted his head. “How did...”
The sheriff’s smile wasn’t exactly smug, but Audrey had seen that look on her great-uncle’s face befor
e. He’d already checked out these men. She wasn’t surprised. Great-uncle David wasn’t a pushover. And he was thorough. She hoped to be just like him when she became sheriff.
“The minute you contacted me, Agent Fallon, I was on the phone with Homeland Security,” the sheriff said, confirming Audrey’s thoughts. “I’m sure Director Moore will appreciate the extra security for your team.”
The looks on the men’s faces said they sure didn’t appreciate it, but she didn’t care. She was going to stick close to Nathanial. She couldn’t deny the prospect pleased her more than it should. Though she had a feeling keeping her heart safe from unexpected emotions stirred by Nathanial might prove to be a harder proposition than finding the truth about what had happened to him.
* * *
When they touched down in Washington, DC, they were whisked away from Reagan National Airport in black SUVs. Nathanial and Audrey were in the second vehicle with ICE agent Blake Fallon driving and RCMP inspector Drew Kelley in the front passenger seat. Up ahead in another identical Suburban, the ATF agent Chase Smith and US Border Patrol agent Luke Wellborn led the way through the late-afternoon metro-area traffic.
Snow covered the ground and piled at the curbs, where snowplows had pushed back the white powder and sprinkled salt on the asphalt to make the roads passable. Strings of white lights clung to the streetlamps and trees lining the avenues. Pedestrians, bundled beneath heavy coats and scarves, made their way along the sidewalks.
From the back passenger seat of the second SUV, Nathanial stared out the side window at the many passing monuments and statues memorializing the United States of America. He could name the monolithic Washington Monument bathed in white lights, but he didn’t know how he knew its name or whether he’d seen it before. He recognized the Lincoln Memorial and the White House. But putting labels to the structures was as far as his memory allowed.
His gaze moved to the brightly lit, large evergreen Christmas tree located south of the White House as a headache born of frustration and tension pounded at his temples and tightened the muscles of his neck and shoulders. Merry Christmas. He rolled his shoulders and glanced at his seatmate.
Audrey peered through the windows with an avid expression of awe.
“You’ve never been to the nation’s capital before?” he asked.
She smiled at him, and his heart thumped in his chest. She had a great smile, and it eased some of his anxiety. There was something about this woman that calmed his nerves. He figured there was some psychological mumbo jumbo that could explain his reaction to her.
She shook her head, and he caught a whiff of her vanilla-scented perfume. “I’ve always wanted to come here for vacation. There’s so much to see.”
Before leaving Calico Bay, she’d changed into civilian clothes when she’d hurried to her apartment to pack a bag. And she’d let her hair down. Literally.
Her blond hair hung down in a silky sheet just past her shoulders. His fingers itched to touch the strands. Had he always had this fascination with hair? Or was it just hers?
She wore a kelly green turtleneck beneath a black leather jacket and jeans tucked into calf-high black boots with low heels. Her gold shield and sidearm were at her waist, as a reminder that she was working and not on vacation.
“You’ll have to come back when you can,” he stated softly. “The Smithsonian museums are world-class.”
Excitement lit up her eyes. “You remember them?”
He gave her a wry grin. “Not really. It’s more of a vague recollection than an actual memory. I don’t know if what I see in my mind is from experience or pictures. But I feel certain that you’d like the various aspects of the museums.”
“I’m sure I would. I’m especially interested in the American first ladies collection.”
He grinned. “Do you have aspirations of being a first lady?”
She returned his grin. “No, if I wanted to live in the White House it would be as president.”
He chuckled at her declaration. He admired her pluck and confidence. It would take a special man to contend with this woman.
“I like seeing strong women prevail,” she continued. “And you have to admit, it would take a certain amount of courage to be married to the president of the United States.”
“True.” What kind of courage would it take to marry a man with no memory?
Wow, that was a leap. He wasn’t even sure how he felt about this pretty, capable and determined deputy. Letting his mind and heart venture down the perilous road of romance wasn’t smart. The last thing he wanted was to hurt Audrey or anyone else.
Did he have someone waiting for his return? Not a wife, he knew, but a girlfriend? Where did he even reside? Canada was a big place.
His gaze strayed to the man at the wheel. Blake Fallon would have the answers Nathanial sought.
But did he want to ask? Would the answers bring pain or trigger his memories?
Didn’t he owe it to Audrey, for saving his sorry hide, and to himself to dig into his past and uncover who he was?
Fear that he’d not like the answers bubbled inside him, adding to his headache. When he could get Blake alone, he’d seek the answers despite his trepidations. Better to hear who he was without worrying about Audrey’s reaction. He hated the thought of her thinking less of him. He leaned back against the headrest and closed his eyes against the pain throbbing in his head. Soon enough he’d find the courage to confront his past.
The vehicle rolled to a stop in the underground garage of a nondescript building, and they were hustled inside to a conference room on a high floor with a direct view of the Washington Monument. Nathanial went to the window. Was this why the monolith seemed so familiar? Had he stood in this room before, this exact spot, even?
“It’s beautiful,” Audrey commented as she halted at his side.
He turned to look at her. She was beautiful. And sweet and had a core of steel that he respected and admired. “Yes. Very beautiful.”
She slanted him a quick glance as if she somehow suspected he wasn’t referring to the tall stone pillar.
“Welcome back from the dead, Officer Longhorn,” a deep voice intoned from behind them.
Nathanial and Audrey turned toward the room. Nathanial’s gaze landed on the man standing at the head of the conference table. He was tall and distinguished looking in a well-tailored dark suit, white button-down shirt and burgundy tie. His salt-and-pepper hair was swept back from his angular face and sharp deep blue eyes assessed them. Nathanial assumed this must be Director Moore of Homeland Security.
“And welcome, Deputy Martin,” Moore continued as he skirted around the table toward Audrey. “We owe you a huge thank-you.”
She met him with her hand outstretched. “Not a problem, sir.” They shook hands. “Doing my job.”
“And doing it well, from what I’ve heard,” he replied. Then he shifted his focus to Nathanial. “You look well, but I understand you have no memory of your work with IBETs.”
“No, sir, I don’t,” Nathanial replied, accepting the man’s offer of a handshake. He had a strong and firm grip but didn’t squeeze his hand in a show of power, which Nathanial appreciated. “I hope you’ll forgive me my ignorance. IBETs?”
“Integrated Border Enforcement Taskforce, a joint effort by the Canadians and the United States to keep our mutual boundary line secure.” Moore gestured to the chairs. “Have a seat, Nathanial, Deputy.”
Nathanial pulled out a chair for Audrey. She arched an eyebrow, and her mouth curved into a slight smile, but she made no comment as she took her seat. He claimed the chair next to her, bumping his knees against hers. Awareness of how close she was raced over him, making him ruefully shake his head. What was he, a junior higher with his first crush?
No, but he was a man without a memory, crushing on the woman who’d saved his life. Better sn
ap out of it, he told himself. He really needed to have a discussion with Blake. He forced his attention to the director.
“We’d like you to meet with our doctors here,” the director was saying as he leaned a hip against the table. “Not that we don’t trust Dr. Martin’s assessment, but we do have the most advanced therapies and practices in the country, if not the world, at our disposal.”
“Yes, sir.” Nathanial didn’t have a problem meeting with anyone who could potentially help him regain his faculties. He shushed the nervous voice inside his head that questioned if he really wanted to know. Instead, he sent up a silent prayer that he’d be strong enough to withstand whatever he discovered.
“Deputy Martin, I’ll have someone escort you to your hotel while Officer Longhorn meets with the docs.”
“With all due respect, sir, where Nathanial goes, I go,” Audrey said in a tone that was courteous but firm, leaving no doubt her words weren’t a request but a fact.
The director matched her level gaze with one of his own. Nathanial waited to see if the director would try to match her resolve, but then the man smiled and he spared Nathanial an amused look.
“Well, it seems you have your very own bodyguard, Nathanial.” Moore straightened. “I have an escort ready to take you and your guest to Walter Reed medical center.”
“Thank you, Director Moore,” Audrey said and rose from her chair.
Nathanial stood and shook the man’s hand again. For some reason Director Moore inspired a sense of trust.
“If you’ll follow me.” Moore moved to the conference room door.
Audrey hesitated, obviously waiting for Nathanial to take a step, but his gaze once again went to the lone obelisk standing like a sentry over the city, the white lights highlighting the gray stone. A sense of loneliness swamped Nathanial. A forgotten memory surfaced, sharp and desolate. Him as a child of maybe seven, standing in front of a Christmas tree only half-decorated, while voices shouted and shrieked from another room. Fear and anger roiled in his gut, his small fists clenched at his sides. Who did the voices belong to? Why was he so upset?
