by Pamela Fryer
Miles pretended to turn his attention back to the news and bit back a smile. The threadbare t-shirt he’d caught her in the night before had been an accident. She was probably embarrassed about it, but he would bet for the wrong reason. Sure, it had a ragged, too-short hem and been so thin it left little to the imagination, but she probably didn’t realize it had been outrageously sexy. In his mind’s eye he could still see the tight peaks of her nipples and dark circles of her areolas. In fact, he couldn’t get them out of his mind’s eye.
“Did you leave me any hot water?” he asked as he shifted on the chair. Suddenly, his jeans felt too tight.
“Probably not.” Lily gingerly peeled back the top corner of the bedcovers, as if she would sleep on the very edge of the left side. He smothered another grin. Her shyness was another trait he adored about her.
An uncomfortable lump formed in his throat. He was letting his thoughts run away with him, in the wrong direction.
It seemed like forever since he’d enjoyed the company of a woman, even thought about sharing intimacy. He’d believed that part of his life had died with Sara. He’d watched Eddie live alone for ten years after Claire died and thought he would be no different. Most cops he knew were either unmarried or divorced. His choice had not been a hard one.
But now he ached from the desire Lily stirred in him. She was beautiful, sweet, caring, modest and sexy as hell. Resisting the feelings she brought to life took Herculean strength, and he just didn’t have it anymore.
Miles realized the news had ended and a late night drama filled the screen. He flipped the television off. Silence bounced off the walls.
He would never act on his feelings, but that wasn’t what was bothering him. It was the feelings themselves, invading a part of himself he wanted kept empty. Untouched. The part of himself that had been content with loneliness and darkness.
Now he reached toward the light she’d brought into his life like a drowning man swimming toward rays of sun visible at the surface of a deep sea.
“There are three pillows. Do you mind if I have the extra?” Her timid voice stirred up those feelings all over again like a breeze touching a pile of leaves.
“There are four pillows.”
She held one up. “This one’s a potato chip.”
He shrugged. “I don’t mind.”
Lily sat on the bed and pulled the covers over herself, confirming his suspicions she would sleep as far away from him as she was capable. He admired her for the effort as much as she amused him by it. Sweet Lily.
“Was there anything on the news?”
He shook his head, knowing she meant anything related to IntelliGenysis. “I’m going to take a quick shower.”
If there was no hot water left, all the better. He closed the door and pressed his head against the cool wood. There was indeed a jackknifed big rig stopping traffic in both directions on Highway 395, but Miles suspected he would be better off sitting in the car on a dark highway than sharing a bed with Lily.
Her toothbrush stood upright in a glass, and she’d left him a brand new one, still in its package, on the counter by the sink. He was doomed.
There was plenty of hot water. He let it sting his skin. It only made the hot desire pulsing through his body grow worse. He turned the water to cold, but that didn’t help either. He emerged, brushed his teeth and then used the hair dryer Lily had left in her travel bag on the counter. Finally, there was nothing more he could do to delay going back out there. He slipped into his jeans and opened the door.
Lily lay sideways on her elbow and two pillows, flipping channels. It was after eleven and the prime channels were now running a recap of national news.
“I was wrong. All these pillows are potato chips.” She hit the off button and the room went dark except for the light spilling out of the bathroom door.
“You want me to call the desk?” He flipped the light off, unable to look at her in that silky blue material that beckoned to his hands.
No, it’s not the material, but the curves beneath.
“I’ll be fine. I’ll probably snore, though.”
He chuckled. He appreciated her efforts to lighten the tension, that was probably written across his face.
But turning the light off was a mistake. Now there was only the patter of rain outside and the silvery light seeping through too-sheer curtains.
“Um, I was thinking,” he started awkwardly. He stepped into the room and rounded the bed to the far side. “If Annie appears, maybe she’ll know how we can get inside. She was right about the fences.”
Lily was silent as he slipped under the covers, still wearing his jeans. She sighed and shifted toward him. His pulse raced as her scent overwhelmed him. She was so close he could reach over and touch her with almost no effort at all.
“I can’t stop thinking about all the horrible things Meiling said. How could my sister have gotten mixed up with a monster like Colton Reilly?”
“Haven’t you ever been in love? It makes people do crazy things.”
Lily swallowed noisily. “I don’t think she was in love with him,” she said in a tight voice. “I think she was just crazy.”
“Did you ever think your sister became the way she did because she couldn’t be as good as you?”
“Cassie was everything I wasn’t. She never had to try hard in high school, but I had to study every spare minute. She had lots of friends, but I ate lunch by myself every day.”
“That’s not what I meant. I mean as good. Do you think she would have dropped everything in her life to take care of your child?”
She didn’t respond, even though there was no question about the answer.
“If you ask me,” Miles said softly, “Annie is damn lucky to have you.”
Chapter Fifteen
Miles came awake with a start. The room was still dark and had grown cold. His eyes strayed to the too-bright digital clock. Twelve twenty-two a.m. He turned over and found Lily sitting up. The gleaming blue material clung to her back under a lustrous wave of mahogany hair.
“Annie?”
She shook her head without looking at him. He glanced around the dark room to confirm as much for himself.
Why not tonight? He pushed up onto his elbow. Lily was worried something happened to the little girl. Hell, he was worried.
“It doesn’t mean something’s wrong. We don’t know how or why she does it.”
He placed his hand on her back. Warmth fed into his palm like a lifeline. Lily dragged her hair back from her face and combed her fingers through the length.
“I think Colton wanted me to work for him so he could turn me into one of his broodmares.”
A surge of adrenaline kick-started his heart. He’d had the same suspicion when Meiling Wong had told them all the children were Colton’s own offspring. He’d realized the man was truly insane, and his fear for Lily had magnified a thousand times.
He’d pushed the thought out of his mind, not wanting to believe she was in that much danger. Grotesque danger.
“He must believe I’m like Cassandra, that I could make him a miracle child. I think he told my sister to bring me in; that’s why she was so persistent the last time I saw her.”
“Jesus.” Miles said a silent prayer of thanks she had not fallen in with Reilly. By some miracle and her own courageous strength she’d escaped a horrible fate. He leaned onto his elbow beside her and slid his hand around her waist. She slipped into his arms and he settled her back onto the mattress.
Two frown lines pinched between her brows. He cupped her face, caressing her cheek with his thumb. “Hey.”
Her soft brown eyes met his.
“You’re safe now.”
He gazed down at her, memorizing the beautiful planes of her face, the soft skin under his fingers. She was an incredible woman. He didn’t know how he’d resisted her this long.
He wasn’t sure if he closed his eyes or simply blinked, but he found his lips on hers. The gentle kiss she returned was slow and t
ender, but without a hint of reluctance. It chased away the chill in his bones caused by thinking about all the horrible possibilities she had narrowly escaped.
He rolled on top of her. She was soft and curvy everywhere. Her body melded to his as though she had been put on this earth for him.
She raked her hands over his back and through his hair. Her kiss intensified and her body arched into his, urging him past the edge of reason. Past the ability to say no.
He stopped and looked into her eyes. She was so vulnerable and so fragile, even if she didn’t want to admit it.
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
She smiled her sweet, beautiful smile. “So many terrible things have happened. I need this moment.”
He fell hungrily into her kiss again, greedily stroking her sumptuous body with needful hands. He slipped beneath the silky pajama top to find skin softer than he ever imagined. He filled his hand with a full, round breast. He squeezed gently, trapping her stiff nipple between two fingers. Her chest rose as she drew a breath deeply between kisses.
He needed more, so much more. Miles drew back and tugged the slippery material over her head. With eyes adjusted to the dim light he saw her perfectly. How could this woman not know how beautiful she was?
The more he saw of her, the more powerful his need became. He brought his mouth to her throat and kissed his way over her collar bone to her chest, hesitating only to grasp the stretchy waist of her pajama bottoms and pull them down her body.
And then she was naked beneath him, a glorious length of willing splendor he’d been afraid to want.
His hand slid up back up her leg and cupped between her thighs. She was hot with need. Her legs parted to accommodate him. He slid one finger inside to discover the moisture of her desire. His tongue slipped between her lips and tangled with hers, purely suggestive. This is what I want. Will you let me inside you?
His jeans had become painful. He rolled sideways only long enough to tear open the button fly and shove them over his hips. He kicked them away and fell between her legs.
Hot skin came against glorious, hot skin. The contact was like an explosion.
Miles grasped one breast and brought his lips to the stiffened peak. She arched off the bed as he pulled it into his mouth and gently raked with his teeth. Beneath the flowery scent of her soap was a pure, rich scent all hers. He breathed deeply while his tongue flicked over her nipple. Pure heaven.
Her thigh slid across his hip with a velvet caress as she brought her legs up and apart. Though he’d like to take the time to explore her, his body responded to the soft stroke of her inner thigh by moving him to readiness. He stared down into her eyes. There was no reluctance, no hesitance in her face. The lines of tension had faded for dreamy pleasure.
He didn’t need to guide himself with a hand. His body had already met hers perfectly. She closed her eyes and breathed his name on a sigh.
Miles entered her on a long stroke. Her warm body was tight, but welcoming. She slid her arms around his back as he seated himself deep. A low, satisfied sigh escaped her as he arrived, fully sheathed and perfectly joined. Her fingers tightened on his flesh and Miles began to move, slowly at first, until she lifted her hips to encourage him to take more.
Gladly, greedily, he did. His hands roamed over her in the darkness, memorizing every curve and hollow, every bump and valley. The sounds of her pleasure grew, as did his need to spend himself inside her.
Darkness fractured into shards of light and her cries echoed in his ears as they climaxed together. The sensation was so intense and so foreign, it was like he was experiencing it for the first time.
Then there were only lingering pulses of pleasure and the soft body beneath him as he drifted into oblivion without pain, for the first time in forever.
Chapter Sixteen
The sound of the shower going off brought him from a foggy dream. The feel of Lily’s body still resonated in all the places that had come into contact with his. He could almost imagine he was still touching that luxurious skin.
But the situation was not right. As beautiful and generous a lover as she had been, he was in a hotel room with a woman who was not Sara.
Miles rose and pulled on his jeans, then sat in the guest chair where the rest of his clothes were piled. He dragged on yesterday’s socks, yanked his t-shirt over his head and stuffed his feet into his boots. Lily’s scent clung to him, inescapable.
Loving her had been amazing, but this morning it came with a super-sized serving of guilt. He could never give Lily the love she needed.
Miles stuffed his t-shirt into his jeans and pulled on the flannel button-up. Blinding glare from a freshly fallen snow stung his eyes as he stepped onto the balcony.
In Lily’s arms, he’d never noticed the drop in temperature, but from the look of the ice and frozen cars blanketed under a good three inches of snow, the night had been cold. The frigid air scalded his lungs as he breathed deeply.
He’d hoped if he were ever to give in to his base needs and take another woman, it wouldn’t be good. But last night had been incredible.
How could he have done that to Lily? He cursed himself for the lack of restraint. He’d sometimes imagined having sex again, but his mental picture had always been with an unknown, unseen image. Never with someone he cared about, because he’d never imagined he would ever care about anyone again.
Yet he did. Lily had somehow broken through the rusted bars surrounding his heart and fixed herself inside. He didn’t just care, he wanted to care.
The door behind him opened.
“Hey.”
He tossed a glance over his shoulder without really looking at her. She stepped out beside him at the rail and scanned the snowy landscape. Her deep breath in and out tore into his soul. She was already heartbroken, he could feel it. For a long moment, she didn’t speak, and he didn’t either. He didn’t know what to say.
She finally broke the silence. “Last night was wonderful, and I don’t regret it for a moment.” She turned toward him and leaned her hip on the rail, but Miles still couldn’t face her. “I know you’re trying to think of a gentle way to let me know it can never happen again. Don’t worry. You don’t have to say anything.”
“It isn’t like that,” he said simply. How pathetic. He wished he did know what to say, because silence wasn’t fair to Lily. But God help him, he didn’t want to hurt her.
“I would never expect a man like you to want a woman like me.”
He laughed out a wretched sound. “You can’t be serious. Lily, do you have any idea how beautiful you are? I wish I were half worthy of you.”
Her breath hitched. The sound brought a hot stab to his gut.
“I know you love your wife. Just because she isn’t with you anymore doesn’t mean your love has diminished. I only wish someday I find a love as powerful.”
He turned and took her face in his hands. “Lily, don’t you see? I do care for you, too much. But I can’t give you what you need. I haven’t healed enough yet.”
This was all happening too fast, coming at him too strong. He wasn’t willing to feel these emotions bouncing off his heart. He wanted them, but he wouldn’t let himself have them.
She grasped his wrists. “I know.”
“No, you don’t. It isn’t because of my wife that I can’t give you what you need. It’s because of me.”
She pulled his hands from her face and backed a step away. “Please don’t say that. God, Miles, it’s so cliché. Be honest with me, or don’t say anything at all.”
“I’m trying to.” Miles braced his hands on the iron railing. He drew a long breath and let it out slowly. “The night my wife died, she was leaving me. She’d been seeing another man.”
Lily went stone-still.
“I’ve never told anyone, not even Eddie. But you need to understand. I want you to believe it honestly is me. Not you, not even her.”
She placed her hand on his shoulder and went slowly toward him. Miles seized her and dra
gged her close. She wrapped her arms around him and returned the fierceness of his embrace.
“Miles.” She gave a tiny sniffle, hiding tears he wasn’t sure were for him or for herself. It didn’t matter.
“I’m falling for you, sweetheart. But I’m not ready. I wish I could give you what you deserve. I wish it were different.”
“I do too.” She eased back enough to kiss him.
He returned her kiss for two painful heartbeats, then drew away. He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to hers.
“You’ll meet somebody, someday. Somebody better than me.”
“There is nobody better than you.” Her voice choked with tears and Miles felt his throat go sore. “You’re my hero.”
“I can’t be a hero to anyone—”
She kissed him, a brief, gentle brush of her lips only to silence him. “Shh. I know.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t say that.” She swiped another tear and blinked the rest away. “Last night you asked me if I’ve ever been in love. I said no, but that wasn’t entirely true. I’ve fallen in love with you, Miles. And even though you can’t return it, it’s something special you’ve given me.”
She gave him her sweet smile, and Miles ached all the way into his bones. “I have to go. I need some time.”
“Annie doesn’t have any time, Miles.”
“Promise me you won’t do anything until… Just don’t do anything yet.”
She closed her eyes for the space of a heartbeat. When she opened them she blinked several times to chase away the tears.
“Sweetheart.” He swiped another escaping teardrop from her cheek with his thumb and said it again anyway. “I’m sorry.”
***
Colton swiped his badge at the entrance to Laboratory Two. He straightened his five-hundred-dollar Gucci tie as the door opened automatically.
He strode inside and stopped at the edge of the steel balcony running the circumference of his eight-thousand-square-foot laboratory. Forty-two scientists worked busily in the glass-walled offices circling the upper level. Not one of them had yet to break the gene sequence differentiating A2-6 from the others.
