I wiped the tears from my eyes and pointed at him. Punctuating each word with as much power as I could muster, I confessed, “I thought about you all the time. Songs reminded me of you. I dreamt of you. I fantasied about you. I missed you. I loved you.”
I was shaking when I finished and a loud gasp vibrated through my body as I came to terms with my lifelong feelings for the man who sat in front of me. Wiping my eyes with the back of my hands, my vision finally became less blurry and I saw him as he watched me from where he sat. His piercing grey eyes bore into me as he slowly stood. He took one step and he was directly in front of me, so close that I could feel the heat from his body.
He didn’t say anything. His chest rose and fell in time with mine as I looked up at him. Say something! I demanded silently as my heart raced. Putting his hands around my neck, he put his forehead against mine and we just held each other’s gaze. I could feel his warm breath against my damp cheeks. The electricity between us crackled and I wanted to simultaneously back away and be sucked in closer.
“Did you feel that?” Emanuel whispered, his fingers stroking my skin.
My eyes drifted from his beautiful grey eyes to his full lips as his tongue slowly brushed across them. Realizing that I was staring, I jerked my eyes back to meet his penetrating gaze. I flushed because he looked as though he could see my thoughts. Afraid my voice will sound as needy as I thought it would, I didn’t respond.
His hand trembled as his thumb trailed along my jawline. “That was passion. An apology doesn’t tell me anything except that you’re remorseful. It doesn’t really tell me how you feel. But what you just said…how you just said it. That’s passion. And that’s what I needed to feel from you.”
His whispered words caused my skin to tingle and my eyes to become heavy. My breathing was erratic. If he were to lick his lips again, his tongue would brush against my lips, I thought with a shiver. I could think of nothing else than to feel his lips on mine.
With tantalizingly slow movements, Emanuel removed his forehead from mine and placed a light kiss in the center of my forehead. It was so sensual that it forced my eyes closed. Next he kissed each of my closed eyelids. He moved to my left cheek and trailed down my cheekbone. He skipped over my lips and started trailing up my right cheek. He ended his splattering of kisses near my ear.
“I never stopped loving you,” Emanuel breathed against my ear. His voice was so soft, I wasn’t sure I heard him correctly. He never stopped loving me, I gasped silently as my body melted against his. My heart pounded in my chest.
The loud shrill ring of his phone jarred us from our secluded park bubble we’d been in for the last 2 hours. We both jumped slightly at the aural intrusion, creating space between us. He reached in his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. I took another few steps back and stood on the opposite side of the gazebo as he answered his phone.
“Em…?” Emanuel intoned with clear annoyance in his voice.
“Yes she’s good. Really good.” I watched him drink in my body as he said it, making me tingle all over. I smiled up at him.
He winked as he moved across the gazebo toward me. He stopped suddenly and was quiet as he listened. There was a serious shift in his voice as he proclaimed, “I wanted to take her out for dessert and talk about it there.” Talk to me about what? I wondered as I eyed the way his facial muscles tightened as he ran his free hand through his hair.
Before turning to the side, he glanced at me and the lusty look was gone. In its place, a nervously shy look… the one that used to always grace his beautiful features as we were growing up. I haven’t seen that look since 2003. Ever since picking me up at the airport, Emanuel’s been this confident, mature, aggressive force. Shy would seem out of place if I didn’t know Emanuel, if I didn’t grow up with him. So what exactly is bringing about this throwback Emanuel? I mused, cocking my head to the side.
“I know. I just need to figure it out… I will take her to that bistro place that you like near your house and drop her off at 5:30… Okay, bye!” Emanuel hung up the phone and ran his hand through his hair. He slipped his phone back in his pocket before turning toward me.
“So…we are going to get dessert?” I asked as I pushed myself away from the railing, brushing the back of my dress off.
“That’s the plan. Are you hungry? It’s been 4 hours since we ate. We could grab something light,” Emanuel suggested as he grabbed his motorcycle jacket and helmet off of the bench.
“Sure. Sounds good,” I complied.
We walked to the motorcycle in silence. A few people were exercising and one couple walked their dog. I took in the quaint charm of the area. When we got to the motorcycle, Emanuel slipped his jacket on me and zipped me up. He put his helmet on the crown of my head and kissed my nose before he pushed the helmet over my face. As modestly as I could, I climbed on the bike and grabbed hold of Emanuel’s body. I rested my head on his back and I ran my hands down the rippled muscles of his stomach. He grabbed my right hand and kissed it before putting it back on his hard abs. I squeezed him tighter when the engine roared to life. He said he loved me, that he never stopped loving. I’ve spent so many lonely nights wishing I could hear him say those words. Emanuel makes me feel like I’m the same Thomasville girl I once was. Except this time, I know he loves me, I marveled silently as the words he whispered against my ear touch several different spots on my body.
Emanuel easily and seamlessly maneuvered through traffic and we arrived at an Old World Italian bistro that was up the street from Emily’s neighborhood. We parked and entered the establishment. I looked around for a mirror so I could check out the disaster that was likely my helmet hair. A well-dressed older man with wire rim frames greeted us as got closer to him.
“Good afternoon, my name is Tony. Would you like to sit inside or outside?” the host asked.
Emanuel looked at me, “It’s up to you, beautiful,” he said.
“Outside is fine. The weather is lovely today,” I declared.
“Outside it fine,” Emanuel echoed to the host.
We followed our host Tony to a patio with tables and large umbrellas. After he told us our waiter would be right with us, he turned on his heel and headed back to his podium. Emanuel stood closer to me than necessary and slowly slid the zipper of the jacket down. I looked up expecting his eyes to be following the zipper downward; however, I blushed as his eyes were boring into mine. Once he had the jacket unzipped, he removed the jacket and pulled out my chair to sit.
“This song always makes me think of you,” Emanuel murmured as he pushed my chair in. “I Love, You Love” played softly through the speakers. Taking his own seat, he continued, “I always—”
“Hi folks! What’ll you have to drink?” A younger woman with mahogany skin and shoulder length dark brown hair burst out of nowhere. Her nametag said Nicole.
“We’ll take two waters and we need a few minutes with the menu,” Emanuel said, turning the menu over in his hand.
“Okay I’ll be back with your drinks!” Nicole replied.
“That’s a great song,” I mumbled after Nicole left, feeling overwhelmed with emotions.
“I first heard it after leaving therapy one day five years ago. And it was in heavy rotation. Every time I thought of you, I’d put it on and just think of all the things I’ve always wanted to say to you. Before then, your song was—”
Interrupting, the waitress was back with our waters. “Here you are. Now what would you like to order?” Nicole asked with her pen poised over her pad.
“We’ll have two slices of tiramisu and she’ll have an iced mocha latte and I’ll have a black coffee—the robust blend.”
The waitress smiled, “It’ll be right up.”
“Thank you,” we said in unison.
Laughing, Nicole remarked, “Aww, you two are cute together.” She walked back into the indoor dining area of the bistro.
“We are cute Emanuel,” I declared as I gestured between us at the small table.
�
��I like thinking of us as a we,” Emanuel replied, smiling.
“Me too. I’ve had a good day with you today Emanuel,” I admitted.
“Me too. You and I have always had a good time together,” he pointed out.
“Very true.” I took in his sexiness as I sipped my water.
Clearly his throat, Emanuel began with his throwback hint of nervousness, “Well, now that we are on the subject, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about.” He paused and took a deep breath.
I was unable to contain the anxiety I felt as he remained silent. “What’s going on Emanuel?”
“Well first of all, I meant what I said earlier.” He reached around our water glasses and squeezed my hand before returning it to his side of the table. “I’ve never felt for anyone what I felt for you...what I feel for you.”
He paused before he continued, “I didn’t think I would ever get the chance to see you again to tell you in person how I felt. I’ve thought about going to Richland a number of times throughout the years, but I couldn’t do it. I told myself that you’d moved on so I’d have to do the same. I dated a lot, but no one compared to you. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t find another you. So I settled and wasted my time and their time. But being around you again, just knowing you were coming into town, made me realize that I can’t settle anymore. I want you. I need you...” His words trailed off with a nervous shrug and his head slightly bowed.
A bevy of butterflies spread through my chest and belly as I thought, Emanuel wants to be with me? Emanuel wants to be with me! I took a sip of water to cool down the flash of heat that radiated through my body.
Nicole placed our tiramisu and coffee on the table before quickly leaving. I barely even registered she was there because I just stared at Emanuel. He gave me a small smile while my mouth hung open as I rubbed my chest, right above my heart. My voice cracked when I started, “I—”
“Manny!” a stunning woman who looked like the lovechild of Brad Pitt and Halle Berry boomed out of the corner of the patio. “Manny!” she repeated loudly as her eyes stayed trained on me.
The look that crossed Emanuel’s face spoke volumes as he recognized her voice. He stood without turning around. His eyes locked on mine and all I could see was pain in them. I looked from him back to this gorgeous woman who was still staring at me. She had short hair and every piece was in place. She wore skintight jeans which showcased every curve and a shiny silver scoop neck top. Her heels were black and at least 6 inches, making her appear to be 6 feet tall. She had a smile that looked more like a grimace.
“I’m sorry Sahara,” Emanuel apologized as she descended upon the table.
“What is going on?” I asked Emanuel, suddenly uneasy. Who is she? I thought, but in my gut I knew by the way she eyed me predatorily; I was encroaching on territory that she’d marked.
He whipped around to face her, stopping her in her tracks. “What are you doing here?” he asked her, his tone was flat, but agitated.
“Manny,” she said with a curt nod, her eyes never leaving me. “Hello, I’m Ashlyn and you are?” Ashlyn extended her manicured hand to me.
I didn’t appreciate her tone. I don’t know who you think you are, but I’m not intimidated by you, I thought sassily. “Sahara,” I coolly replied, shaking her hand with a tight grip.
“Oh the infamous Sahara…” Ashlyn cooed snottily as Emanuel stepped toward her and grabbed her upper arm, moving her away from me.
“It’s time for you to leave, Ashlyn. You will not talk to her like that. I’m not playing with you,” Emanuel interrupted her as he positioned himself between the two of us.
“You’re asking me to leave?! Me?” Ashlyn screeched to Emanuel as she attempted to side step him to get to me.
“Why don’t you go home and stop causing a scene?” Emanuel tried to reason with her in a controlled voice.
“But I want to talk to Sahara! I’m pretty sure we have things to discuss,” Ashlyn hinted as she made another attempt to get around Emanuel.
“You don’t have anything to talk to Sahara about. In fact, you don’t have anything to talk to either of us about.” Emanuel signaled for a waiter to come over.
“Oh you don’t want your precious Sahara to know about me?” Ashlyn declared loud enough to cause the other couple on the patio to stop what they were doing to gawk at the spectacle. What the hell is going on? I thought.
While a waiter rushed over to speak to Ashlyn and Emanuel about the disruption, I pulled my cell phone out of my handbag and texted Emily to pick me up. I overheard the waiter saying something about getting the manager when I stood up. I don’t know what’s going on, but I didn’t sign up for this unnecessary drama, I declared to myself as I collected my belongings.
“You need to leave now,” Emanuel enunciated each word with a quiet rage. I couldn’t see his face but the way his shoulders were squared, I could tell he meant business.
“Excuse me,” I said as I tried to squeeze by them.
“Sahara, please wait. If you want to leave, I’ll take you wherever you want to go,” Emanuel pleaded. “When the manager gets here, I’ll pay and we’ll leave.”
“No it’s fine. Ashlyn seems to be in desperate need for your attention so I arranged another way home. Thanks though,” I replied with an eye roll.
“Oh sweetie, I’m just here to help you out.” Ashlyn’s tone was mocking and her voice grated on my nerves.
Although I knew she was baiting me, my curiosity got the best of me. “First, don’t call me sweetie. I don’t know you. Second, what could you possibly help me out with?” I questioned as I walked around Emanuel to stand directly in front of Ashlyn.
Ashlyn sneered, “I’m helping you to not embarrass yourself. Manny is mine. We’re engaged.”
Chapter 23
“Congrats,” I responded with faintly veiled contempt as I flashed my fakest smile. What. The. Hell. Just. Happened? I thought as I brushed past her and side stepped the manager as he rushed over. I could hear Emanuel calling my name as the manager demanded payment for our desserts and an end to the disruption.
I entered the main restaurant area and decided it would be in my best interest to hide out in the bathroom. Moving quickly, in an effort to not be seen, I slipped into the bathroom and hid in the first stall. Once I had the door closed and locked behind me, I took several wheezing breaths. “Fiancé?!” I gasped aloud, trying to collect my thoughts and catch my breath.
My eyes welled with tears as I tried to make sense of what just happened. My usual way to deal with stressors like this has been to get wrapped up in something beautiful. But for so long, Thomasville has only represented pain. I wasn’t sure I could even find anything in Thomasville not tainted with memories. Lately, if I’ve felt down, I’d seek out Ty. But what am I supposed to say to Ty? I’m heartbroken because while you’re away handling business, I snuck off to my hometown for a life-changing hearing and reconnected with my first love who kissed me and told me he was still in love with me unexpectedly. Oh and I didn’t tell him about you. And I can’t shake my feelings for him, I thought miserably as I quickly forced the tears back. I didn’t deserve my own pity because I did this to myself.
“Anything that can be ruined, I ruin,” I mumbled as I walked out of the bathroom stall. Fixing my eye liner, I examined myself in the mirror. My hair looked good considering I’d worn a helmet. I fluffed it out and slid on my sunglasses. With one more once over, I squared my shoulders and exited the restroom. They will not see any emotion out of me, I thought with determination as I rounded the corner.
“Sahara!” Emanuel called out from the bar. He was quickly on his feet and making his way toward me as I walked straight to the front door. “I’m sorry, Sahara. Please wait. Let me explain.”
I walked out of the door and looked around for Emily’s car. Emanuel was on my heels in seconds. He put his hand on my shoulder and I twisted violently to remove his hand. Even after I shook it off, I could still feel the heat and weight of hi
s hand on me. I turned to him and put my hand up in order to keep him away.
“You don’t have to explain anything to me Emanuel,” I replied, my voice calm and void of any emotion. I looked up and saw Emily pulling up into the parking lot.
“Yes, I do.” He ran his hands through his hair and looked around with exasperation. His eyes followed Emily’s car as it got closer. “I’m sorry about all that. Don’t walk away again. Give me a chance to explain.”
Emily got out of the car and had a curious expression on her face. I put my hand on his chest and stared into his pained face. “You don’t have to explain anything to me. It is what it is.” I walked to Emily’s passenger side door and opened it. Seeing that I planned to leave immediately, Emily got back into the driver’s side of the car and closed the door.
“You don’t—” Emanuel ran both of his hands through his hair and his face hardened in growing frustration.
I looked back at Emanuel and interrupted, “Emanuel, congratulations on your engagement. Ashlyn seems lovely. I hope you have a great life together.” I knew my tone was snarky but I couldn’t help it. His mouth snapped shut as he stared at me in a mixture of disbelief and exasperation.
I turned and climbed in the car, slamming the door shut. When I looked back to grab my seatbelt, I couldn’t help but look at him. His eyes looked sad, but his face was rigid. When our eyes met, my heart dropped. I knew I owed it to him to at least speak with him about the whole thing. But I couldn’t—not yet. I felt blindsided. I felt like I was on an emotional rollercoaster and I needed to sort out my feelings. I’m in love with Ty…I couldn’t possibly be in love with Emanuel too. Right? I thought as I tore my eyes away from Emanuel.
“You okay?” Emily asked as she put the car in drive.
“I just needed to get out of there,” I replied evasively. How am I supposed to explain this without sounding jealous? I sighed to myself. Emily took the scenic route so I could see the place I used to call home. The twenty minute drive was silent as we eased through a familiar part of Thomasville that hadn’t seen many renovations in the past ten years. We turned into Emily’s driveway and she cut the car off, but didn’t make any moves to get out.
Back to Life Page 22
