Paxton clenched his teeth tightly as he watched the expression of realization forming in Rivers’s eyes. The same expression had once filled Ruby Dupree’s—the expression of injury and heartbreak. He’d done it to her. He hadn’t meant to, but it had happened. The difference being, if Rivers looked deep enough into his eyes, he knew she’d see the same emotion reflected there. He cursed himself for trapping the girl’s heart. Yet he’d done it on purpose. The night by the pond found him weak and unable to resist her any longer. And here before him, the hurt all too apparent in her eyes, she stood—beautiful, desirable, perfect, and now hating him.
“Then I have to leave at once. Don’t I?” Rivers whispered.
“No,” Paxton corrected her. “She’d think me a lost cause then and never marry Weston.”
Rivers looked away from him for a moment. He inhaled deeply and swallowed hard.
Paxton felt ill. Sickening heat seemed to tear through his body as he fought to resist pulling her into his arms. He was no good, a hardened, rough ol’ bobcat with nothing to offer a warm, soft, sweet-tasting bunny like Rivers. He had to keep reminding himself she deserved better. He had to make sure he did not give in to his selfish desire to own her—she deserved better.
She looked back to him then, and it was nearly his undoing. Tears brimmed plentifully in her eyes, and he felt her pain piercing his own heart. He realized then his actions, or rather lack of action, had been breaking her for weeks. It was further proof, reassurance he did not deserve her.
Rivers thought she might die from the pain clenching her heart. As she looked at him, having already known this day would come, knowing she could never hope to own the heart of a man like Paxton Gray—as she looked at him, she asked, “Then what do you want me to do, Paxton? What do you want me to do? You tell me that because I’m here Jolee won’t move further on with Weston. But then you tell me I can’t go. What do you want me…”
“I want ya to help me convince her that I’ll be fine without her here,” he explained. “Let her think what she wants, and then when she finally accepts Weston…you can do whatever ya feel ya need to.” He took a deep breath and looked out toward the fields nearby. “There was this girl, ya see. Years back. Jolee’s worried I won’t ever…that I…” he began.
“Ruby,” Rivers stated and watched as he looked back to her quickly, surprise apparent on his face. “Jolee told me about your Ruby when I first came here.”
“What did she tell you?” he asked, suddenly angry.
“That you were in love with a woman named Ruby. That’s all I know. She left you, ran away or something, and you’ve never gotten over her,” Rivers mumbled, struggling to keep the tears from spilling from her eyes.
Paxton inhaled deeply, and Rivers knew he was barely controlling his temper. Yet control it he did.
“I want ya to help me convince Jolee, Rivers. I want her to think…to think I’ve some interest in you—enough that she’ll think if she marries Weston, you’ll stay with me. She’s wasted enough of her life takin’ care of me.” He chuckled and shook his head. “She loves me so much she can’t see it makes me miserable to see her lettin’ her life pass by because of it.”
Rivers studied him as he gazed out over the fields. Oh, how attractive he was! The breeze caught the tousled locks of hair at his forehead and blew them back for a moment. She loved him! She would never love anyone like she loved Paxton Gray! She made a silent oath, promising herself she would never forget how wonderful he was, how handsome. He was compassionate, self-sacrificing. For all his selfish, crabby pretenses, he did not hide his true self very well. He had a heart, a feeling heart, though he would like everyone to think otherwise. Rivers knew his heart, knew him for his goodness as well as his physical beauty.
She’d always known Paxton Gray was only a dream to her—that a man such as he was would never give himself to an orphan girl who drifted from town to town by riding the rails. Yet she had so desperately wished that he would. But he wouldn’t. She knew. All good things must come to an end, her father had always said. And so, end it must.
“I’ll stay until we see Jolee married, then I’ll be on my way,” she told him. It was what he wanted to hear. “I promise.”
Paxton looked back at her, nodding with appreciation, though he still wore a heavy frown.
“Let’s start with a little outin’. Today,” he said, “I told Weston to meet us here just before noon. Follow my lead, Rivers. That’s all I ask. Follow my lead for a few days, and then ya can be on your way and rid of me.”
“Ya look pale, Rivers,” Jolee said as she sat next to Rivers in the wagon later that morning. “Ya feelin’ okay?”
Rivers forced a smile and nodded. “It’s nice to get out, isn’t it?” she said, trying to change the course of the conversation.
“Oh, yes. This’ll be so fun. Just the four of us,” Jolee sighed. “Paxton so rarely allows himself any relaxin’ time lately.” Jolee looked up, shading her eyes from the sun. “It’s a little cloudy though. I don’t know. We might get wet out here.”
“We might,” Rivers mumbled. She was certain her heart had tried to quit beating. She felt cold, lonely, empty. Glancing up at Paxton, however, she knew she would not simply fade away, for the hammering in her chest at the sight of him reminded her that the broken heart beats on.
Paxton halted the team and helped Rivers down from the wagon as Weston assisted Jolee. Just the simplest touch, the feel of her hand in his, caused Rivers’s flesh to erupt into goose bumps. She wondered how she would endure life without such thrilling sensations to experience.
“Rivers has never seen the writin’ on the rocks over here, Weston,” Paxton remarked.
“It’s purty interestin’ if ya ask me, Rivers. How the Indians made pictures on the rocks and now we can look at ’em and try and figure what they were wantin’ to say,” Weston agreed, taking Jolee’s hand and leading her toward a nearby rock formation.
“It looks like rain,” Rivers commented.
“Naw, them clouds is just threatenin’. They won’t do nothin’,” Weston assured her.
“You look like a sick puppy, Rivers,” Paxton whispered in her ear as they followed Weston and Jolee.
“Forgive me. I’m not comfortable lying to my friends,” Rivers snapped.
“You’re right. I guess Jolee wasn’t your friend yet when ya showed up on the front porch askin’ for work and lookin’ like a boy,” Paxton snapped in response.
“You’re being cruel to me, Paxton,” Rivers said, painful emotion rising within her.
“This here’s my favorite,” Weston called over his shoulder, motioning for Paxton and Rivers to join him and Jolee. “See here,” he explained. “This looks like a family to me. Ya see a man, a woman, then some children added in.” He smiled flirtatiously at Jolee, and Rivers reached out to touch the markings with her own hand.
“It’s lovely,” she said. “I wonder what they made these with. You would think they would’ve worn away by now.”
“I’m glad they haven’t,” Weston commented. “I’ve always found all this interestin’.”
Rivers glanced up at Paxton to find his gaze firmly affixed on her. She uncomfortably cleared her throat and moved to a different impression on a nearby stone.
“That ol’ tree is around here somewhere, ain’t it, Paxton?” Weston asked a few moments later.
“What ol’ tree?” Paxton grumbled. Rivers looked to him quickly, recognizing the irritated intonation of his voice.
“Don’t play the dumb dog there, boy,” Weston chuckled. “That ol’ tree everyone carves their names in. Yeah! There it is. Yonder,” he said, pointing to a huge and ancient-looking cottonwood. “Come on, Jo…I’ll show ya.” Taking her hand in his, he led her in the direction of the tree, motioning for Paxton and Rivers to follow.
Paxton paused, seeming determined not to follow. “Come on, you old grumpy Gus,” Rivers prodded, taking Paxton’s hand and tugging on it. Paxton sighed, obvious
ly irritated, but followed. Somehow, Rivers’s curiosity was completely teased. She couldn’t think why he would be so unwilling to look at an old tree with names carved in it. Still, if she was going to endure the kind of heartache their pretending was causing her, he could at least look at the old tree.
“See,” Weston said, pointing to the trunk of the ancient tree. “Folks have been carvin’ names in this tree since I was a little bit.”
“Oh, look!” Jolee exclaimed. “There’s Dan and Betty. Do you think that could be Dan and Betty Furman in town? Why, they’re in their fifties!”
“Yep. That’s them,” Weston assured her. “Lookee here. Rebecca and Toby...that’s the Millers in town. Jill and John Parker. There’s all kinds that have carved here. Now, there’s somethin’ I seen here awhile back I need to ask Paxton about.” Weston gestured for Paxton to follow him to the other side of the tree and Jolee and Rivers looked, too.
Rivers watched as a deep, rather worried frown wrinkled Paxton’s brow as he looked at the tree. She followed his gaze and felt sorry for the child of Mother Nature when she saw the damage that had been done to it in one area.
“What do ya make of that, Pax?” Weston asked, pointing to an area brutally scarred with what looked like the lacerations made by a knife.
Rivers looked closely. Two names had been carved in the tree where the vicious damage scarred it now. She swallowed hard, an odd sort of trepidation rising in her—Paxton and Ruby. The names carved in the tree beneath the more recent damage were “Paxton and Ruby.” Indeed, someone had chopped at the lettering, leaving the deep and fairly fresh scars in the bark and wood beneath.
Paxton reached out and touched the area with his fingers, tracing the deep wounds of the tree. He shrugged his shoulders, still frowning. “Don’t know. Someone just up to no good, I suppose,” he mumbled.
“Maybe,” Weston agreed. “But don’t it strike ya as strange…them fresh cuts in this here tree…and me seein’ Ruby in town yesterday?”
Rivers quickly looked to Paxton. His thoughts and feelings were not visible in the indifferent expression he now wore. In truth, his face suddenly seemed as lifeless as stone.
“Her family has moved back into town, Paxton. She’s here with them for awhile. She’s perty as ever and probably just as fickle,” Weston said.
“She’s a fine girl, Weston. She didn’t do nothin’ wrong,” Paxton mumbled.
“Well, that may be true of Ruby…but her mama’s with ’em, Paxton,” Weston informed, lowering his voice.
Paxton quickly looked to Weston, who nodded. Then he glanced at Rivers for a moment before studying the scarred tree again. “Maybe she’s healin’ then,” Paxton suggested.
Weston raised his eyebrows disbelievingly. “I still wonder, Pax. This here does make me wonder.”
Rivers felt her heart begin to constrict once more. Paxton still loved this Ruby. It was, however painful, very obvious. He defended her at every turn. Furthermore, the defacing of the tree seemed to bother him.
“Ruby perty much left ya at the altar, Paxton. How can you defend her like that?” Weston argued.
Rivers feared her stomach would become so upset from her painful emotions that she might be sick. She began to walk away from the others.
“Hush, Weston,” she heard Jolee scold.
“It’s time we had it out of him, Jo. If he’s gonna ever get on with his life…it’s time he put it behind him,” Weston argued.
“It is behind me, Weston,” Rivers heard Paxton tell his friend. Knowing he lied made her feel even more ill. She walked faster, but it wasn’t long before she felt Paxton’s powerful grip on her arm.
Turning to face him, she spoke before he could. “He’s calling your bluff, Paxton. He knows you…”
“Then I’ll just call his, Rivers,” he interrupted. “Let’s walk awhile and give them a chance to cozy up a bit.”
Still holding her arm, he linked it through his own and began walking with her. Being so near to him was an odd sort of intoxication. It sent Rivers’s common sense, her rational thought spinning to the wind. She couldn’t speak, afraid she might suddenly turn to him and confess her love, throw herself against him, beg for his kiss. And so she said nothing. They simply walked in silence, and for quite a distance.
“Ruby’s mother was a bit…unstable,” he said, unexpectedly breaking the awkward silence between them. “I figure it’s her that tore up the tree like that. She was mighty angry when I…” He paused, seeming to reconsider what he was about to say, then continued, “Hey, we better head back. We’ve come quite a ways. I didn’t realize how far we…”
His words were drowned out by a sudden clap of thunder. In the next instant, heavy rain poured down from the Heavens. Rivers looked to Paxton, who stood face turned upward, eyes closed, letting the moisture trickle down his face and neck.
“Let’s get back. We’ll get drenched!” Rivers said, wiping the rain from her eyes.
Paxton looked at her then. “Somethin’ about sudden storms like this,” he said. “They give ya two opportunities ya might not take at any other time.”
“And what might those be?” she asked, brushing the wet hair from her forehead.
“You can cry your heart out and nobody’s the wiser. That’s one,” he answered, reaching out and taking her hands in his own, as he pulled her closer to him. “And two, there ain’t a better condition for sharin’ a kiss.” He drew her against the warmth of his powerful body, embracing her securely in his arms.
“Don’t, Paxton. Please,” Rivers begged as she felt several tears of heartache escape her eyes.
“Don’t lose your nerve on me now, girl. Jolee and Weston are spyin’ on us from just over there a ways,” he whispered as he held her face firmly with one hand. “Close your eyes from the rain, Rivers,” he whispered an instant before he took her mouth with his.
Rivers’s body went limp in the strength of Paxton’s arms and at the hot pressure of his mouth on hers. Her inner voice silently begged him to release her, to end the spell his kiss wove over her mind and body. Undone, Rivers gave into him entirely, letting herself revel in the feel of his hands on her waist and back—allowing her mouth, her senses to thoroughly savor the moist taste of his kiss. Yet the taste of her own tears intruded. Their salty flavor distracted her, reminded her he was kissing her simply for farce. Still, she savored the feel of being held by him, the warmth of his body against hers, the heat of his mouth instructing hers to join in some intimate dance. The taste of salt seemed to distract Paxton as well. He abruptly broke the seal of their lips, taking her face between his hands and intently studying her expression.
“It won’t be long, girl. Then I’ll release you. You’ll be free to go,” he comforted, misreading the cause of her tears.
“But I…” she stammered. How could she convey to him she didn’t want to leave? That she never wanted to be without him? That she wanted to stay in his powerful arms forever, eternally savor his kisses?
“Now kiss me in the rain just once more, for Jolee’s sake, Rivers,” he mumbled as he released her face and let his hands slide around her waist, pulling her body flush with his own before again banding her in his arms.
She was breathless in his arms, found it difficult to breathe, for the rain was increasing and he held her so tightly. His final kiss was light and teasing. When he broke from her, he said, “Look,” and tipped his head toward the direction from which they had come.
Rivers was torn between the pure delight burning within her at seeing Weston and Jolee some distance away embraced in an affectionate kiss, and the heartache she felt at having her own kiss end.
“Wooo whooo!” Paxton exclaimed unexpectedly. “I love a storm!” He reached back over his shoulders and took hold of his shirt, pulling it over his head and off his body. He stretched his arms out at his sides and turned his face upward again, letting the rain wash over his now bare torso. “You like me best when I’m just bathed, ain’t that right, girl?” he asked as he motioned
for Rivers to follow him as he started back toward the others.
The refreshing shower ended quickly, however. By the time they were all in the wagon, the sun was shining bright and high in the sky. This time returning home, Jolee sat with Weston as he drove the team, and Rivers found herself next to Paxton in the wagon bed.
Paxton stretched his arms along the sideboards of the wagon and breathed deeply. “Ain’t nothin’ like a quick shower to freshen up your mood, right?”
“I’m drenched,” Rivers mumbled, a chill causing her to shiver slightly.
“Ya do look like a drowned kitten, now that ya mention it,” Paxton chuckled as he studied her from head to toe.
“I think you owe me an explanation,” Rivers blurted.
“About what?”
“About Ruby Dupree, and why she left you at the altar and why you still pine away after her,” she said abruptly.
His amused smile faded then, his eyes narrowing as he looked at her. “I don’t owe you no such thing, girl,” he growled in a low voice.
“Yes. You do,” Rivers argued. “I’m staying here at your request, remember?”
“You’re stayin’ here ’cause ya got nowhere else to go, remember?” he spat.
Rivers looked away from him and muttered, “You’re right. Forgive me.”
“I ain’t told nobody the whole story, girl. Weston knows a tale or two of it, but not the whole thing. I went to her daddy about two weeks ’fore we were supposed to get married and told him I couldn’t marry Ruby,” Paxton confessed in barely a whisper.
Rivers looked at him quickly. “I wasn’t in love with her. That’s the meat of it. Then there was her mother…” he added, pausing.
“She’s…she’s mad?” Rivers asked. “Were you afraid that Ruby might inherit the insanity?”
Sudden Storms Page 6
