by Sam Kadence
“I’ve always cared about you, Anya. Ever since we were kids.”
“Cared, yes, but loved, no.” She turned her back on him. “I would do anything to have your baby.”
“But you’re not pregnant.”
She spun on her heels and rushed to his side. “We could try now. Keep at it until I’m with child. I can still have your babies. Be your wife. If you keep on this path, you’ll die. I’ve seen it. You know how I can’t control the visions.”
“I was trying to do the right thing, Anya. You were just trying to play me. Did you see this moment?”
“I love you.”
He shook his head. “It’s just lip service. Just like all the other groupies, record producers, and media hounds who promise pretty things while snapping pictures they’ll use to insult me later.” He was angry now, hurt. The set of his shoulders told me he wanted to run and hide. “I trusted you. I gave you every part of me. I made you my wife and opened myself up to you like I never have to anyone.”
“But you don’t love me. Your heart isn’t breaking over letting me go, is it?”
“No.” But the words were strained.
Hane stepped into the hallway. “We have five minutes to be on stage, Kerstrande.”
KC blinked back his tears and headed toward the stage. “Good-bye, Anya.”
She said nothing as he walked away.
“He was right. I’d betrayed him. I’d used his fame against him. He wasn’t in love with me. He couldn’t be. He was meant to love you. I saw you in his future and got so jealous….”
“You have second sight?”
“More limited than yours, but yes. I could see glimpses of the future. Read people for the most part. Except for the darkest that is. Like Hane….”
The scene changed again, this time to Hane’s loft. KC sat on the floor, surrounded by unconscious women, drugs, and empty bottles of liquor. Hane sat in the corner watching. And I knew the strike would come before he even crossed the room. He’d waited for Kerstrande to be weak, to let himself wallow in despair and blind himself with pain and narcotics. They all did after a time. Artists didn’t hold up well to the extreme extroverted nature required of them in the digital age. Kerstrande was no different.
I sucked in a deep breath and wished I didn’t have to witness this. KC cried out from the attack. None of the girls stirred, but Hane showed no mercy.
“I can’t watch this,” I told Anya. “He didn’t want this.”
“No. But he left himself open to it. Just like Joel did. Your friend Rob is on this path as well. In time, Hane will corrupt him completely and bring him over.”
“This has to stop.” Wanting to play music had nothing to do with any of this pain, blood, and death.
Hane grabbed KC by the hair and dragged him down the stairs while we floated along behind him. He threw KC into the same nasty pit I’d found Joel. And Hane watched while Kerstrande’s eyes lost all life and became vacant windows of death. I couldn’t contain my sobs, the tears hot on my checks, though I was sure I was dreaming. It didn’t matter anyway, since this was the past. This had been his first death. How many more would he suffer at Hane’s hands?
I recalled the fight with Michael and how Hane had destroyed the thing Michael had become. Was KC headed for that too? Would the darkness devour him, leaving nothing but the hunger?
When the door slammed shut, KC had been good and dead. The dark brown stain seeping from him covered the floor with a stain that even years later, I hadn’t been able to scrub off.
Hane peered through the window in the door as though trying to memorize the look of death. I didn’t want to remember KC that way. I wanted to remember his teasing smile and the peaceful look on his face while he slept, or even the slack pleasure when we made love. But I was standing beside a psychopath who just happened to be a vampire.
“How long did Hane leave him in there?”
“A week. The sickness usually lasts that long. The body truly dies and has to come back. Organs begin to work after days of not functioning. All that poison needs to be released from the body. That’s why it’s always a mess. Death is never pretty.
Death shouldn’t be pretty. Especially something so violent. No wonder they had been at odds for years. Hane had murdered KC, tortured him, and made him into something that wasn’t human. That was where the self-loathing came from, and the walls that seemed to be endlessly erected against the world around him.
“He wouldn’t feed. He didn’t want to become death. Would have rather died himself.” KC hated that part of himself, the dark part that hurt others.
“The first time he took blood, he was not himself. Hane brought him a whore, someone he thought no one would miss. But that first feeding often brings back a sense of self to a vampire. Kerstrande awoke to his life as a vampire with a dead woman in his arms, her blood on his lips and in his mouth. He refused to feed again. So Hane starved him until he’d either kill someone or himself.”
“You.”
She nodded mournfully. “He wanted to push Kerstrande over the edge and show him the monster he’d become. I should have known. Hane’s aura had always been dark, but Kerstrande trusted him. We were both fools.”
The sound of footsteps echoed down that underground hall outside the room where KC was imprisoned. Hane led Anya through the darkness toward the door.
“He hasn’t returned any of my calls.”
“He is horribly sick. He won’t let me call a doctor. I hope you can talk some sense into him.” Hane opened the door and motioned her inside.
“Kerstrande?” She called out as she stepped through the doorway. Hane gave her a final shove and slammed the door shut. “Hane?”
Hane locked the door and walked away, ignoring the pounding on the door.
“I screamed for a while, more afraid of the dark than anything else. Kerstrande stalked me for a time. He’d take small bites, enough to draw blood and then back away after only a taste. I think the time had driven him mad.”
“The hunger changes him. Something else takes control.”
“Hane’s line is from something darker. There are other vampires in the city who don’t have the same shadows. But they can be beautiful.”
“Like a rainbow sometimes.” I shrugged. “I sort of know things are about to go bad when he gets all dark without the rainbow.”
“He tore my throat out in the end. Didn’t awake until the next day to realize what he’d done. But Hane opened the door to him then. Told him that it was time to live or die. To live and learn to hunt, or to die in the filth of the pit. I was one of the first, but not the last.”
“He tried to reprogram KC to be a monster. But he’s stronger now. He doesn’t have to kill, and doesn’t kill….”
“It happens. He hates to feed, so he puts it off until the darkness overtakes him. If you can keep him fed, he will stop killing. I think for the first time he has a reason to live, and to learn how to control the need.”
But KC kept pushing me away. He’d fed for the first time in a while tonight because I’d pushed him and because he’d waited almost too long. He couldn’t keep doing that. If he let the hunger take over, he’d lose control. He admitted that himself. Hane had trained him that the hunger was awful, and starving himself until he killed was the best way. I just had to teach him otherwise.
And KC wasn’t the only one in Hane’s hands. He wasn’t the only one Hane abused. How many others? When would it end? I took a deep breath and turned to Anya. “It has to end. I have to go get Joel.”
“He won’t let Joel go. He won’t let Kerstrande go.”
He would. I would make him. “He’s a monster.”
“Yes.”
“I have to go now. I’m sorry, Anya.”
She smiled. “I’m sorry too. I wish Kerstrande could have loved me the way he loves you.”
My heart skipped a beat hearing those words, but I needed them to come from KC, not his dead wife’s ghost. “He doesn’t love me yet. But someday s
oon, I hope he will.” One problem at a time.
Chapter 30
THE memory of the dream kept me on edge while a cab drove me to Hane’s place. I knew I should have waited until the daytime. But I couldn’t let KC face him again. Each time they saw each other, it was like a stab into his very soul. The time for Hane to cause KC pain had to end.
I paid the cab driver and told him not to wait. Instead I called Cris, who didn’t answer, but I left a message anyway. If something happened to me tonight, at least one person would know. On the counter in the apartment, I’d left a long note for KC, just in case. Even if he never believed I really loved him, I would tell him with my dying breath. Maybe someday it would sink into that thick skull of his.
The place was dark as usual, but the door was unlocked. Was Hane expecting me? I didn’t bother to go up the stairs. Instead I headed down, using the heat I could project to burn through the gate and leave it open so we would have a means of escape. I had to get Joel out first; then I could confront Hane.
The stench hadn’t lightened at all. I wondered if Hane saw himself as some sort of undead mobster and just executed people regularly down here when they got in the way. Did vampires have different politics? I didn’t think KC would answer if I asked, or even if he knew. Maybe Cris knew something.
I heard a scratching noise before I even got close to the steel door that locked Joel inside. “Joel?”
The scratching stopped.
“Are you okay in there? I’ve come back to take you home with me.” I dropped the backpack filled with clothes for him by the wall, praying nothing crawled into it while I was saving Joel from himself. I really hoped he hadn’t trashed the room again. “Joel?”
The silence was so loud I wanted to scream. Damn. I yanked on the lock, finally getting it to ease open. Joel spilled out like he’d been leaning on the door. His hands were bloody, nails torn to shreds. The back of the door was covered in red streaks. I sighed and pulled my friend to his feet.
“We have to go now.”
“Hungry,” he whispered.
I stopped moving and had to look at him again. Was there someone home this time, or was that just the shadows talking?
“A sip. That’s all.” I held my wrist up to his lips.
“Sip,” he breathed against my skin just before his fangs sunk in.
It hurt more the second time than it had the first. But I counted to thirty, thinking about how much I wanted my friend Joel back, and then tugged my arm away. He let me go, lapping at the last few drops like a cat with milk.
“Sip,” he said again.
“Yeah, that was a sip. We have to go home now.”
“Not a good idea,” Hane said as lights lit up the hallway. “I’ve already told you he’s not right.” He moved toward us like he couldn’t care what we did.
“Then why didn’t you put him down? Why keep him here like some sort of pet? Abuse him like you did Kerstrande? What’s the point?”
“Because I enjoy breaking the strong. Sadly, your friend Joel was weak. I’d rather break you.” Hane stood before us looking like whatever had been eating Devon had devoured him instead. Blackness, death, shadows, pain, hunger, and rage, they were not a pretty combination. “He belongs to me.” He pointed to Joel. “Just as Kerstrande does.”
“They are people.”
“They are animals.”
I looked at Joel, and all I saw was the friend I’d lost. Even though he’d stained KC’s sweater in blood and still looked pale enough to not pass for anything other than dead, he was still Joel. Maybe not quite human anymore, but he was still a person.
Joel blinked at me like he wasn’t really seeing me, but I helped him lean against the wall. If this was going to be a blowout between Hane and me, I hoped to save Joel first. He could tell what had happened. Make sure the world knew what Hane had done. Keep him from doing it to others.
“Let us go, Hane. Let KC go. They mean nothing to you. They mean everything to me.”
“They are already dead. Why don’t you join them?”
“Because I’m not willing to be your plaything.”
“Death does not wait.” He smiled and then a half second later had me shoved into the wall, fangs in my neck. I struggled to breathe.
I pounded on his back, trying to loosen his grip, but he gulped at my throat, sucking down my blood like his very life depended on it. He gripped my arm hard. The bone snapped with a loud crack, and I couldn’t keep from crying out painfully. “Stop!”
Something large and heavy smashed into Hane from the side, and I sunk to the ground, hands over my neck, praying he hadn’t hit something vital as blood streamed over my fingers. How soon would it take me to bleed out?
The pain in my arm pulsed in throbs. I curled around it like I could stop if from hurting by just willing it to. The heat of my blood stung as it dripped through my fingers. Each drop sizzled when it hit the ground. It hadn’t been that hot when Joel had bitten me. Was I dying again? Somehow I didn’t think changing into a flaming bird was going to help us much.
Joel worried away at Hane’s arm like he was some sort of dog. Hane smashed him away only to have the man rebound and hit him harder with all teeth and claws. The two rolled around for a bit, hitting each other and growling. Darkness began to box in my sight. Was this to be the end, then?
I thought about the heat that filled me and how I could change. The last time I had died to complete the change. What would happen if I died again?
Joel hit the wall just a few feet from me and stayed still. I couldn’t find the strength to move toward him to see if he was alive. But anger filled me with a burning heat. I wanted to rip Hane apart for hurting Joel, KC, and probably killing me.
Him stalking toward me, with deliberately slow movements, was the last thing I saw before fire exploded around me. I willed it into him, wanting to give him the pain and the heat. The flames ate up my vision, and all I felt for a few seconds was peace.
Then the screaming began.
At first I thought it was me, but no, someone else was on fire. The world around me darkened for just a minute. No dreams this time. Just one second there was fire, the next I was inhaling smoke and choking. Something was holding me, and the grip hurt. I cried out, but the sound wasn’t human.
“It’s okay, Gene. Just calm your pet vampire down, and we’ll all leave.”
The semipanicked words made me rub my eyes to clear my vision. Only instead of hands, I had feathers again. Damn.
Cris stood only a few feet away. He held a blanket in his arms and had both hands out in front of him like he was trying to prove he was harmless. The hands that held me too tightly were Joel’s.
“Concentrate on being human, Genesis. You can turn back. I think you can control him. He’s protecting you, which is great, but we should get out of here since the police are coming, and the building is on fire.”
I tried to remember what it was like to have limbs instead of wings. The weight of my body returned, and it hurt this time, like a really bad sunburn. Joel had a death grip on my arm. I turned and looked him in the eye, and for the first time, I recognized the light that resided there. My friend was in there. Thank God!
I threw my arms around him.
“Wow, naked man,” Joel muttered, voice hoarse.
Cris offered me the blanket. It was better than nothing. The stench hit me as I was tying the sheet in place. Burned flesh and hair, like meat, only something much worse.
“Don’t look, Gene. It’s not worth the nightmares,” Cris warned me.
“The fire came from the inside,” Joel said. “He burned slower than you. You went up so fast I thought you were gone.”
My blood.
I had to look. The blackened shell couldn’t be anything other than what was left of Hane. He still smoked and smoldered, a crispy skeleton. The fire had jumped to him probably because I’d willed it to. My blood set him on fire because I wanted him to hurt. I’d done that.
My stomach clenched, a
nd I dry heaved while Cris held me up. The sounds of sirens echoed throughout the building, and then, distantly, the sound of a fire truck.
“We need to go.” Cris dragged me toward the door.
“This way.” Joel pointed in another direction.
We followed him. Well, Cris followed, tugging me the whole way. I couldn’t do anything other than cry. I’d killed Hane. What was wrong with me? What did I really think would happen when I came here determined to get Joel out?
The truth was that I had expected to die.
And I had, hadn’t I? But I wasn’t normal. Just like KC always said.
Chapter 31
I KNEW before we even got out of the car that KC was already upstairs. His car was in the underground garage. The drive had been long enough for me to nap. Joel had startled me awake twice with the constant jittery movements he’d done when he was human. At least he was acting more like himself. He sat in back with me, curled up against my side, even though we had the whole seat to ourselves.
When we parked, Cris helped me to the elevator, and up we went, Joel following like a trained dog. The double metal doors opened to my floor, and I saw Kerstrande leaning against the wall outside my borrowed apartment.
“KC.” I tried to reach for him but tripped over the blanket I had tied on and would have landed on my face if Joel and Cris hadn’t held me up.
Kerstrande was suddenly beside me. “What the hell happened?”
His hands cupped my face, and I couldn’t stop from saying, “Ow.”
“Why is his skin burnt?” KC looked at the two men with me.
“He burst into flames,” Joel said.
“Hane killed him. Fed on him. I think when Gene went up in flames, the blood that Hane ingested ignited too. By the time I got down the stairs, they were both already on fire.” Cris let go of my arm, and I dropped into KC’s embrace.
KC’s face turned to a mass of rainbow color slugs, and I knew he was mad. “Sorry I didn’t wait for you. I couldn’t let him hurt you anymore. Not after the way he used Anya to destroy you. I’m not Anya, KC. I’m not Hane or Michael. I’m not here to hurt you, and I will take the pain from you when I can.”
