It was hard to keep going in such a toxic environment, but if they were hoping to make her quit they were in for a very long wait because she was made of stronger stuff than that. And the boss, who had made his own fair share of snide asides since it had all kicked off, knew better than to try and sack her because he knew she would haul him up before a tribunal without pausing for breath. Apart from which, she did the accounts, and he definitely wouldn’t want the taxman to find out about the numerous ways in which he avoided paying his due. Still, it was unpleasant, all the same, and Shirley wished there was a way to prove Jeff’s innocence so that life could get back to normal.
She hadn’t mentioned any of this to Jeff, though, because he was depressed enough already without her adding to his woes. He would only end up blaming himself for dragging her into it if he knew, and then he’d probably leave, which wouldn’t benefit anyone – least of all him.
With that in mind, Shirley adopted her usual bright smile as she let herself into the flat tonight, and chirped, ‘Honey, I’m home!’
Surprised not to pick up the scent of furniture polish or hear the whirr of the vacuum cleaner, because Jeff had become quite the dab hand at cleaning while he’d been staying with her, she dropped the bag of takeaway food she was carrying onto the kitchen table and walked through to the living room.
Jeff was slumped on the couch with a dejected look on his face. Worried that he might have received bad news, Shirley draped her jacket over the back of the chair and sat down beside him.
‘Are you okay? Has something happened?’
‘I’m just a bit down,’ Jeff told her. ‘The landlord’s got the builders in at my old place, and it was sad to see them ripping everything apart. Kind of felt like the end of an era.’ He sighed now, and shook his head, before adding, ‘I’ll be forty in a couple of years, and what have I got to show for it? No wife, no kid, no house, no job – nothing. I’m a failure; a complete and utter failure.’
‘No, you’re not,’ Shirley argued, relieved to hear that this wasn’t about Skye, as she had feared. ‘You’re a good man, and none of this is your fault.’
‘Course it’s my fault,’ Jeff countered miserably. ‘It was my job to look after them, and I let them down.’
‘How?’ Shirley demanded. ‘You didn’t stab anyone, and you weren’t to know that Skye would run away. You’re a good husband and father, and that’s a damn sight more than I can say for most of the men I’ve met – believe me.’
Jeff knew that she was trying to raise his spirits, but it wasn’t going to work, because the truth was the truth and he couldn’t shrug it off.
‘If I was such a good husband I’d have had Andrea sorted out a long time ago,’ he admitted. ‘All I had to do was make sure she took her tabs, but I couldn’t even do that. As for Skye, I don’t even know how old she is. How disgusting is that? I’m her father, and I don’t even know when her birthday is.’
Shirley’s heart went out to him when she saw the anguish in his eyes, and she reached for his hand. ‘It’s not your fault,’ she reiterated gently. ‘You worked long hours, and you had Andrea’s illness to contend with. You couldn’t be expected to keep track of every little detail.’
‘Her birthday’s not a little detail, it’s important,’ Jeff countered guiltily. ‘She’s my only child, and I was there when she was born, so how could I just forget it like it meant nothing?’
‘I forget birthdays all the time,’ Shirley told him. ‘Even managed to forget my own last year.’
‘It’s not the same,’ Jeff said quietly. ‘I’ve been sat here all day thinking about her, and I’ve realised that I don’t know the first thing about her. What she likes to eat, what music she listens to, what year she’s in at school – nothing. I couldn’t even tell you the last time I sat down and actually talked to her one on one. It’s like she was just some kid who lived upstairs.’
‘You’re being too hard on yourself,’ Shirley insisted. ‘This has been a really stressful time for you, but you must know there was nothing you could have done. It was out of your hands.’
Jeff disagreed. ‘I’m not the man you seem to think I am, love. There’s a lot that I could have done different, and I’m ashamed that I let it get to this. But I’ll make up for it when they come home,’ he added with conviction. ‘As soon as we’re all back together, I’ll do whatever it takes to keep them safe and happy.’
‘I know you will,’ Shirley murmured, battling envy as she heard the passion in his voice. Andrea didn’t deserve him, in her opinion. The woman’s illness was manageable but she’d chosen not to manage it, seemingly preferring to torture Jeff with her unnecessary outbursts. And God only knew what their daughter had endured at her mother’s hands while Jeff had been breaking his back to keep food on the table and a roof over their heads.
‘I’ll get out of your way,’ Jeff said, pushing himself forward on his seat. ‘You’re supposed to relax when you get home from work, not have to sit here listening to my problems.’
‘That’s what friends are for.’ Shirley gazed up at him when he rose to his feet. ‘And I like listening to you.’
‘Thanks, but I’m really not the best company right now.’ Jeff gave her a wan smile. ‘Don’t worry; I’ll be okay once I shake myself out of this.’
‘It’s not healthy to bottle things up,’ Shirley reminded him. Then, smiling slyly, she added, ‘Anyway, you can’t go, ’cos I got a takeaway, and there’s way too much for just me.’
‘You didn’t have to do that,’ Jeff murmured, feeling guilty all over again.
Shirley rolled her eyes in mock exasperation. She knew he was broke and felt bad about being unable to contribute, but she didn’t have a problem with it and wished that he would stop fretting.
‘You don’t honestly think I’d let you stay here if I wasn’t getting something out of it, do you?’ she asked, trying to lighten the mood. ‘In case you hadn’t noticed, I’m a lazy cow who’d rather chew off my own arm than lift a duster, so it’s been great having my own live-in housekeeper. And don’t even get me started on how much it would have cost me to get someone in to do all the other jobs you’ve done since you got here,’ she went on, warming to her theme. ‘I’ve had quotes from plumbers and electricians, and they all wanted thousands – which is why I never got anything fixed. I sometimes wonder why I bothered buying the damn place. Should have stayed with the council and let them deal with it.’
‘Okay, I get it.’ Jeff held up his hands when she paused for breath. ‘I’ll eat the bloody takeaway.’
‘Good!’ Shirley gave a nod of satisfaction. ‘Now go and run yourself a bath and relax,’ she ordered, standing up and bossily pushing him towards the door. ‘I’ll put the food in the oven to keep it warm.’
‘I don’t need a bath,’ Jeff protested, amused by her uncharacteristic assertiveness because she was one of the most laid-back women he’d ever met.
Shirley raised an eyebrow, and said playfully, ‘Er, I think you’ll find that you do, mister. And I don’t know how long you’ve been wearing those jeans, but I’d be surprised if they don’t start walking around of their own accord before too long.’
‘Ouch!’ Jeff winced. Then, smiling sheepishly, he admitted, ‘I guess they are a bit ripe, aren’t they? Keep meaning to put them in the wash, but then I’d have to find something else to wear while I’m waiting for them to dry, and it’d be a ball-ache having to go through all the boxes to find the one with my stuff in it.’
‘I was joking,’ Shirley told him, adding diplomatically, ‘but I do think you’d feel better if you got changed. And I can help you go through the boxes if it’s too much for you.’
‘No, you’re all right,’ Jeff said quickly. ‘I need to open them, anyway. They found Skye’s laptop in the attic back at the house, and I need to check if I packed her charger before I take it back to the school.’
‘Why was it in the attic?’ Shirley asked. ‘You don’t think she’s been up there this whole time, do you?’
‘I did wonder, especially when I saw the builder carrying her quilt out with it,’ Jeff replied. ‘But he reckoned he didn’t find anything else, so even if she had been up there she’s definitely not there now.’
‘Have you told the police?’
‘No. Why? Do you think I should?’
‘I would,’ said Shirley. ‘You never know, it might give them a lead.’
‘How?’ Jeff frowned.
‘Well, if Skye’s anything like my niece she’s probably got a whole other life on the net that you and Andrea knew nothing about,’ Shirley explained. ‘In my day, we used to pour out our hearts into our diaries and hide them under the mattress. But girls these days spill out all their troubles and secrets on Facebook and Twitter, don’t they?’
‘Skye couldn’t have done that,’ Jeff told her. ‘We didn’t have internet.’
Shirley drew back her head and gave him a disbelieving look. ‘You do know this is the twenty-first century, don’t you? Everyone’s got internet.’
‘Not us,’ Jeff murmured, cringing at the memory of Andrea having had their Sky account cut off before smashing up their computer, after taking it into her head that the Devil was using it to access their souls – or some weird kind of shit like that. The laptop had only escaped because Skye had managed to convince her mum that it had been blessed by a priest at school – which, surprisingly, considering they weren’t Catholic, Andrea had fallen for.
‘Have you looked on it yet?’ Shirley asked thoughtfully. ‘Skye might not have been able to go online, but she still could have been keeping some kind of journal on there, and it might give you an idea of where her head’s been at lately. She might even have mentioned her friends, which would give us a chance to figure out where she’s gone.’
‘I haven’t been able to look on it,’ Jeff told her. ‘I tried turning it on when I got back, but I think the battery’s flat. At least, I hope that’s why it didn’t come on,’ he added grimly. ‘God knows how much the school’ll whack me for if she’s broke it.’
‘Only one way to find out,’ said Shirley, already planning to help him out by paying the school off from her savings if that turned out to be the case.
‘I’ll go and look for the charger,’ Jeff said decisively.
‘It can wait till you’ve had your bath,’ Shirley said firmly, figuring that he’d have a better chance of picking up on potential clues if he was refreshed and relaxed. ‘But please try not to fall asleep in there again,’ she added, the twinkle of amusement in her eyes belying the pained expression on her face. ‘Old Mo from upstairs said she heard you snoring last time and thought she was back in the Blitz.’
‘I don’t snore,’ Jeff protested.
‘You so do!’ Shirley laughed. ‘Why do you think I bought so much cotton wool last time I went to Superdrug?’ Grinning when Jeff gave her a horrified look, she said, ‘Only joking. I bought proper earplugs the day after you moved in.’
Amused when she turned and sauntered into the kitchen, Jeff shook his head and went into his room. The bed, wardrobe, and chest of drawers that had already been in there when he arrived took up the majority of the floor space, but his boxes had taken up every other spare inch and he groaned as he squeezed past them now. He’d been so sure that the landlord would rifle through them that he had used far too much tape to secure them and it was going to take an age to get into them. He’d also forgotten to mark them to say whose stuff was in which, so he was going to have to go through them one by one to find which were Skye’s.
It would have been a lot easier with Shirley’s help, but he’d refused out of loyalty to Andrea. She was obsessive about many things but privacy was way up at the top of the list, and she would absolutely hit the roof if she ever found out that he’d allowed another woman to rummage through her personal belongings. But that would be the least of his problems if he still hadn’t managed to find a place by the time she was released from hospital, because she was always accusing him of having affairs so there was no way she would ever believe that this was an innocent arrangement. And even though nothing had happened between him and Shirley, Jeff had to admit that he would be suspicious if the shoe were on the other foot.
Shirley was an attractive woman, and she was great company, so Jeff couldn’t deny that he liked her – probably a little more than he ought to, if he were really honest. They had always got on well, and she was the only one he’d felt comfortable confiding in when things had been bad at home and he’d had nowhere else to turn. He could never have told his male friends the truth because they would have marked him down as a complete wuss; and there was no way he would ever have trusted the shallow dolly-birds on reception with such personal stuff. But Shirley had not only listened without judging, she had also offered him the use of her spare room when he hit rock bottom, and had effectively been keeping him ever since – which made her a true friend in Jeff’s eyes.
Unlike Andrea, who was constantly on edge as if waiting for the world to fall on her head, Shirley was easygoing and pleasant, and Jeff would miss her when this was over and he had to say goodbye. But that was exactly what he would have to do if he and Andrea were to stand any chance, because there was no way she would allow him to maintain a friendship with the woman he’d been living with in her absence.
In some ways he wished he could wipe his hands of his dysfunctional marriage and start afresh on his own. But his conscience wouldn’t allow him to abandon Andrea. Despite everything she’d put him through she was his wife, and he’d vowed to stick by her in sickness and in health. And there was Skye to consider, too. If he turned his back on her mother, what would become of her? When she turned up – and he had to keep telling himself that she would, or he’d go crazy – he and Andrea needed to present a united front in order to make Social Services back off and let them get their family back on track.
And that was why Jeff had decided that, as soon as they were reunited, they were moving to someplace where nobody knew them and they wouldn’t be dogged by rumours and speculation.
But he’d still be sad to say goodbye to Shirley.
13
Shirley had been about to dish out the takeaway food when the doorbell rang a short time later. She was peeping through the spyhole at the two police officers who were standing outside when the bathroom door opened behind her, and she blushed when she turned her head and saw Jeff walk out with a towel wrapped around his waist. She’d only ever seen him fully clothed before, and the sight of his toned stomach and muscular tattooed arms reminded her of a dark-haired version of David Beckham in an aftershave ad that she’d once seen.
‘What’s up?’ Jeff gave her a questioning look when he noticed the way she was staring at him.
‘The police are here,’ she whispered, quickly pulling herself together and fixing her gaze on his face.
Jeff raked his wet hair back with his fingers and walked over to take a look. Unaware of Shirley almost swooning beside him as she inhaled the musky scent of his shower gel, he tutted softly when he saw his old adversary PC Andy Jones standing alongside PC Dean on the step.
‘They’re here for me,’ he said flatly. ‘Let them in; I’ll go and get dressed.’
Shirley waited until he’d gone into his room before she opened the door. Unnerved by the way one of the cops immediately looked her up and down, she asked, ‘Can I help you?’
‘Is Jeff Benson staying here?’ the other one asked.
Shirley nodded and stepped aside to let them in. ‘He’ll be out in a minute,’ she said, showing them into the living room. ‘Can I get you a drink while you’re waiting?’
‘No, we’re okay, thanks,’ Jones said coolly as they sat down on the couch.
Unsure what to do with herself, Shirley perched on an armchair and crossed her legs. It was clear from their expressions that they weren’t here to deliver good news, but if something really bad had happened she’d have expected them to have their sympathetic faces on. So maybe it was just a routine call. She
hoped so, because Jeff was just starting to get back on his feet and she didn’t want to see him get knocked back down again.
When Jeff came in a few minutes later, he sat on the armchair beside Shirley’s and rested his elbows on his knees. Then, clasping his hands together, as if to steel himself for the worst, he said, ‘Have you found her, then?’
‘Not yet,’ Dean replied, casting a wary glance towards Shirley. ‘But this might be better done in private.’
Glad of an excuse to escape, because the atmosphere was making her feel jittery, Shirley was on her feet in a flash. ‘I need to put the washing in the dryer before something runs,’ she said when Jeff told her that she didn’t have to leave. ‘I’ll be in the kitchen if you need anything.’
Jeff sensed that she would rather not be here and nodded. He didn’t blame her for wanting to get away; Jones was a cocky bastard at the best of times, but he had a particularly sly look in his eye tonight, and Jeff could only assume that the idiot had jumped to the conclusion that he and Shirley were at it.
He was right. As soon as she had left the room, Jones gave a slow, knowing smile, and said, ‘Proper landed on your feet here, haven’t you, Benson? Nice little gaff; pretty little bird to keep your bed warm while the missus is out of the way. You must think all your Christmases have come at once.’
‘She’s a friend,’ Jeff informed him curtly. ‘And I’m staying in the spare room – not that it’s any of your business.’
‘Yeah, course you are,’ Jones drawled sarcastically.
Dean, hoping to avoid a repeat of the sniping that had occurred between the men during the hospital visit, sat forward in his seat. ‘We need to talk to you about some allegations that have been made.’
Afraid Page 14
