“I’ll be there in a half.”
“Okay,” I smiled before hanging up. I knew what to say to get him home when I wanted him to be. He got home about five minutes short of the half hour that he’d promised. I was sitting on the sofa with the lights off. My mind was spinning and I didn’t know how to stop it. I always thought that the day I finally saw my father, I’d hug him and the empty void that was there for so many years would be closed. Nothing ever turns out the way that I imagine, which always ended up being a huge disappointment. When I was disappointed, I always made stupid decisions.
Black walked in, looking around to find me. Once he noticed me sitting on the sofa he turned on the lamp and walked over.
“Babe, why are you sitting here in the dark? What’s going on?” He sat down next to me.
“My father showed up today,” I replied in a low tone.
“What?”
“Yes, I was leaving out and he was walking up the path.”
“Well, what the hell did he say? I mean, why did he show up?”
“I don’t know, he wanted to go to lunch but I lied and said I had somewhere important to be. I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t stand to look at him after the way he left me.”
“Well you shouldn’t have been put in that position. I’m sorry you had to go through that shit today with all of the other shit going on.” He moved closer to me and didn’t say another word. I mean, there wasn’t really anything that he could say. Him being there next to me was good enough. I lay in his arms on the sofa and closed my eyes. I could feel myself drifting off to sleep within seconds.
Chapter Thirty-three
Black
Eyes Behind My Head
Boom . . .
Debris was everywhere. All I could remember was sticking my hand on the handle to open up the car door and hearing a loud-ass boom and a force unlike any that I’d ever felt in my life. I landed up against the wall. My eyes were closed and I instantly felt the back of my head throbbing. I rubbed the back of my head, which felt like it was bleeding. What the fuck? I yelled. My car was sitting just a few feet away from me on fire. This shit was getting crazy! At this point I wanted this nigga to just show his face so we could get this shit over with. I heard sirens in the background as I tried to peel myself off of the pavement.
“Are you okay sir?” The one paramedic asked.
I couldn’t even respond. I was still in shock and I was dizzy as hell with a banging headache. I tried to get up again.
“Stay still, sir, we’ll get you to a hospital.”
“I’m fine, I don’t need a hospital.”
“Sir, you have to go to a hospital, your head is bleeding and you could have a concussion.”
“I said I’m fine.” I tried to force myself up and fell right back down. I was pissed. “Damn!” I yelled in frustration. This nigga was really getting the best of me. My head was spinning and my legs were shaking. Before long, I was being put on the gurney, strapped down, and rolled into the back of the ambulance. The whole ride I kept asking to use the phone and they wouldn’t allow me to. I needed to make sure that Diamond was okay.
“Please, can I call my girl? Whoever did this could be trying to hurt her.”
The male paramedic didn’t budge while the female paramedic immediately looked concerned.
“Do you have your phone?” she asked. Her male partner turned to look at her with a frown. She wasn’t fazed.
“Yeah, it’s in my left pocket.”
She went in my pocket and retrieved the phone. “I can’t unstrap you for safety reasons but I can dial it for you.”
“Cool, her name’s Diamond. It’s in the phone book.”
She dialed the number and placed the phone near my ear.
“Hello?”
“Babe, are you okay?” I asked, breathing heavily. I had never been happier to hear her voice.
“Yeah, I’m fine, what’s wrong with you?”
“Somebody put a bomb in my car but . . .”
“A bomb! Baby, are you hurt?”
“I’m okay, they’re taking me to the hospital now. Don’t run down here, I’m okay.”
“I’m coming now.”
“Babe . . .”
“What hospital are you going to? It’s not up for discussion, Black.”
“I think Penn,” I replied. I knew there wasn’t any arguing with her at this point.
“I’ll meet you there.” Click!
I looked over at the female paramedic and nodded my head in thanks. We arrived at the hospital where they hurried me into trauma. The whole time I repeated that I was fine and wanted to go home. My requests went unheard. After an hour of trying to fight them, they sedated me. The last thing I could remember was seeing a long-ass needle and heavy eyelids. When I woke up, Diamond was sitting in a chair at the bedside.
“Hey, Babe, how are you feeling?” She got up from the chair and came over to sit next to me.
“I’m good.”
“What the hell happened?”
“Somebody put a bomb in the car and . . .”
“A bomb?”
“Listen, don’t get bent all out of shape. I’m okay as you can see.”
“You could have been killed. We have to get away from here, babe.”
“I’m not running from that nigga, fuck him! If he’s coming, I’m waiting.”
“You see what keeps happening? He’s going to kill one of us.” I could tell how afraid she was. What the hell was I supposed to say? There probably wasn’t anything that I could say to ease her mind. I thought about what she said and it made perfect sense, getting away. I wasn’t about to run but I needed to get her out of harm’s way. Even if just for a week or two, it would give me time to sort things out.
“Look, I’m going to send you away for a couple of weeks. See if Kiki can get free and go with you,” I said as I sat up in bed. I knew sending her away without me wouldn’t be easy. I prepared myself for an argument.
“What? Why the hell would I go away and leave you here? If I go anywhere you’re going with me.”
“I’m not going to argue with you, D. I’m angry, my fucking car is blown to shreds, and my head hurts like hell. If you stay here you’re a target and I need time to figure this shit out. I need you to listen to me for once and stop being so damn stubborn.”
She sat there with a blank stare. I was waiting for her to yell, cry or do something other than sit in silence. I could see how this was affecting her. Diamond had always been strong, since I’d known her, anyway. That was one of the things that attracted me to her. I knew that she wouldn’t let a nigga run over her. Now, things were different. She was falling apart and I didn’t know how else to patch her back together other than killing this nigga. Soon a single tear formed in the well of her right eye, slowly rolled down her cheek, and dropped onto the sheets.
“I’m losing my mind, Black, I can’t take this shit. I thought I was built for this. It’s much easier when you’re the predator. I can’t believe that I was so stupid.”
“Don’t beat yourself up about the past, okay. I need you to think realistically, babe. You shot that nigga and he could have lived. Shit, if that were me, I’d be doing the same shit. I know him well and if it’s him I know he won’t stop until he gets what he wants. I would lose my mind if I lost you.”
After a few seconds of silence she spoke again. “Okay, I’ll go.”
“I’m glad.” I smiled as I reached over to hug her. I wasn’t trying to get sentimental but on some real shit, I needed her in my life. She was the balance that I never had before. I know that it may sound fucked up since she was once and still may be my best friend’s wife, but he didn’t deserve her. Hell, he didn’t give a fuck about her. I remember the first time they’d had sex up in the box at the Sixers game. No sooner than he closed the door behind her he was boasting. I had never been one to brag about getting ass, but Kemp, he needed to feel like a king. That day she had finally gotten his attention. She’d been trying for
weeks and he knew it.
“I need to make her sweat. Shit, that gold-digging bitch ain’t about to get a piece of me that easily.” He laughed. “She’s sexy as shit but I know the game.”
“How you know she playing you? She could really like you.”
“Bullshit, Black,” he began to laugh. “That bitch just got out of jail, she’s broke as hell and who the fuck goes around practically stalking a nigga if it ain’t about money. You sound like one of them. You ain’t getting soft on me now, are you?”
“Soft, come on man, I’m far from that. I’m just saying, you gotta stop treating every female you meet like a gold digger just because you rich.”
He continued to laugh, “What you trying to say, it’s real love out here?”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying.”
“Nigga, I’ve been married twice and I’m divorced. These bitches only see the dollars. If I was a chick I’d be the same way.”
“You’re divorced because you think like you do. You only got married ’cause you’re selfish.”
“And I already know that shit, man. I lock ’em down, that’s how you gotta do it. And Diamond, she’ll be number three. If you know one thing about me it’s that I keep my promises, and I promise you that shit.”
He couldn’t wait to clown her after he fucked her with all of us sitting a few short feet away. She left out of the room with a huge smile on her face. As soon as the door was closed, everyone but me burst into laughter.
“You ain’t right, man,” I spoke loudly. Everyone turned to look at me as if I was speaking in another language. To them, I was. There were just some things that I couldn’t accept as right—shit, I had three sisters.
“Yo’, you been acting like a bitch lately. You act like you want to fuck her. You know me, nigga, I don’t cock block. If that’s what you want by all means go for it,” Kemp yelled. Everyone turned to look at me and soon erupted into laughter.
“Come on now, don’t try to play me, nigga. You know it ain’t that. I’m just saying, why you gotta come out here and boast. Everybody knows you get pussy!” I was getting annoyed. If it was one thing I hated, it was to be put on blast, especially in front of a bunch of niggas.
“Stop tripping, man, if it makes you feel any better I’ll refrain from talking about pussy around you.” He continued to laugh.
I didn’t even respond. I just nodded my head and took a sip of my Corona. Soon the attention was off of me and back on the game. I sat there wondering how this dude even got to where he was at that point. I mean, he was street smart and he had the wit to get all of the shit he had, but keeping it—that was a whole different story. That took more than what he had and I could see him losing it even back then. I didn’t envy Kemp but I did always want to claim his spot. Even as his friend, there was something in the back of my mind. I could see the future and was ready to jump in his place as soon as it was open.
Chapter Thirty-four
Diamond
Permanent Monday
Who the hell was at the door so damn early? I thought while crawling out of bed. Black was asleep next to me and hadn’t budged even after the bell rang a fourth time. I put on a robe and headed downstairs. I looked out of the peephole and spoke.
“Who is it?”
“Hey, Diamond, it’s your dad. Can I come in and talk to you for a minute?”
“Right now isn’t a real good time, you should have called first.”
“You didn’t give me your number.”
Damn, I wasn’t ready to talk with him yet but I knew that he’d keep trying until I did. “Okay, let me put something on, give me a minute,” I replied, hoping that by the time I got back down to the door he’d be gone. Once I got up to the room, Black was sitting up on the side of the bed.
“Who’s at the door?”
“My father.”
“Did you let him in?”
“No, not yet, I came up to get something on. He’s still standing outside.”
“You should have just let him in.”
“I am going to let him in, damn!” I yelled. He looked at me and shook his head.
“I’m sorry okay? I know it’s a sore subject.”
“I’m sorry for snapping. I’m going to go see what he has to say to get this over with. He’s not going to leave me alone until I do.”
“Well, I’m going to jump into the shower and head out. If you need me, holla!”
“Where are you going? You’re not supposed to be in the streets. The doctor said to rest for a week. It’s only been three days, Black.”
“Go ahead and talk to your dad. I’m fine, okay.”
I didn’t respond, I just grabbed my shorts and slipped them on before leaving back out of the room and down the stairs again. I glanced out of the peephole again to find him patiently waiting on my return. I took a deep breath and opened it.
“Thanks a lot for talking to me, Diamond. There are some things I just have to explain.”
I took a few steps back to give him room to enter. As soon as he did he looked around with a pleased look. I guess he was proud of what I had accomplished—well, at least I hoped that he was. I always wanted his approval after he’d gone away. I blamed myself for his departure. I thought that I wasn’t good enough. I prayed for him to come back so I could prove that I was. Maybe this was my chance and the longer I thought about having the satisfaction of being loved by him the happier I got.
“This is very nice, Diamond, you’re doing well. I’m happy about that,” he said as he walked into the living room and sat down.
“Thanks,” I replied, joining him on the sofa. “So what is it that you wanted to talk to me about?” I went straight in. I’d waited for this day for so long and now that I was ready to know the answer I couldn’t wait any longer.
“Well, it’s about us and why I left.”
“Us? What do you mean by that?”
“About me being your father.”
I sat there still unsure of what it was he was trying to say. “Okay and what about that?” I asked with a confused expression on my face. I was hoping that he hadn’t come to bullshit me. I wanted him to get to the point and stop beating around the bush.
“That I’m your biological father.”
“What? Mom told me that I was adopted.” Okay, so now I was getting annoyed. I wondered if this was just a ploy to get close to my money.
“You were adopted, by her.”
“I still don’t get what you’re trying to tell me. Excuse me if I’m a little slow this morning, but I need you to get to the point.”
“After your mom and I were married, I had an affair. It lasted about two years and I didn’t tell your mother about the infidelity until my mistress became pregnant. It hurt her and I had never felt worse in my life. Well, Nila couldn’t have children and she’d always talked about adopting. Pam, the woman I had an affair with, didn’t want children but I convinced her to go through with it promising that I’d leave Nila. Once you were born she tried to be a mother, but it wasn’t in her. She couldn’t take care of you, especially without me. I couldn’t and I wouldn’t leave Nila at that time so we all decided that we’d let her adopt you and Pam would move on with her life.” He stopped for a few seconds. By then, tears were flowing. If this was all true that made the fact that he’d walked away from me even worse. I was his biological daughter?
“I don’t know what to say. I mean, that still doesn’t explain why you walked out on me.”
“Because I was in love with Pam and Nila promised me if I walked out on her I’d never see you again.”
“So I’m assuming that means you chose her over me, right?” Now I was angry. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Nothing was making sense.
“I didn’t choose her over you, I love you and I’ve always loved you from the day you were born and I held you in my arms. I wasn’t happy and I couldn’t be the father you needed if I stayed.”
“I still can’t believe what I’m hearing. It really
took you ten years to tell me this?”
Just as he was about to speak Black came down the stairs. My father stood up to greet him.
“Black, this is my father Jim, this is Black, my . . .”
“Fiancé, I’m Black her fiancé,” he interrupted me, while reaching out to shake his hand.
My fiancé? Was I missing something? When the hell did that happen?
“Nice to meet you, Black, is that your real name?”
He had nerve, like he wanted to act like a father now. What the fuck did he know about being a father?
“Naw, my real name is Keshawn Black but everyone calls me Black.”
“Oh, okay.”
“Well, it was nice meeting you, Jim. Babe, I’m gonna run, call me if you need anything.” He leaned in to kiss me. I didn’t know what he was thinking but I’d definitely discuss it with him later.
“Okay,” I replied. I didn’t want to let on that I was upset. I was trying to be strong.
Black left and I immediately turned my attention back to my father. He had sat back down on the sofa but remained quiet.
“So what do you expect from me? I still don’t understand the purpose of this meeting.” I wasn’t slow but I just didn’t know how he could walk in here after all this time, tell me a story like he’d just done, and think I’d run and jump in his arms like I used to as a child.
“I wanted you to know the truth. You haven’t asked about Pam—do you want to know what happened to her?”
“Why? She didn’t want me. Why should I give a damn about her?” My face was twisted so tight my head was beginning to hurt. What kind of woman would do that? Here I believed that my mother was weak for falling apart like she did. Hell, who wouldn’t under those circumstances?
“That’s not true, she loves you.”
“How do you know that?”
“Because I’ve been married to her for the past eight years, and she’s only stayed away because she thought you wouldn’t want to see her.”
“That’s bullshit! You know I can’t believe that you all lied to me. My whole fucking life’s been a lie.” I stood up from the chair and paced the room. “So what’s next, huh? I guess you’re going to tell me you had kids, right? I mean that’s next right?”
The Black Diamond Trilogy Page 23
