Julian looked disappointed as he extracted two cans from the refrigerator. He returned to the rest of the family, and she followed him slowly. The conversation about music continued.
“So you’re not only a singer, but you’re a songwriter as well,” James said.
“Yes, as a matter of fact I’m working on a piece right now. If you all don’t mind being my audience, I’d like to test it out.”
Allyson looked absolutely dazzled. “Oh yes! We’d love to hear it.”
James and Eleanor nodded in agreement. Julian went outside to get his guitar. When he returned, the room grew silent as he sat and played the first few chords. It had a slightly flamenco ring to it. He had said it didn’t yet have a title, but as he started singing it, Nicole could hear the phrase when I dream, repeated a lot. Even without the orchestra and backing, it sounded as beautiful as one of his concert songs. She glanced at Trey. Her son looked spellbound.
Everybody applauded very loudly when he finished. “That was beautiful,” Eleanor said after a long silence. “Unlike my husband, I’m not really into popular music, but that was very…very moving.”
“You’ve definitely got a voice,” James said. “If there is any justice in this world, you should go far, but you do know how hard it is to make it in the music industry…”
“Dad,” Allyson started, but was silenced as Nicole bumped her.
Julian’s eyes twinkled. “It is hard, but a lot of times it’s all about being in the right place at the right time.”
He put the guitar down and immediately Trey picked it up.
“Trey, put that down,” Eleanor commanded before Nicole could speak.
“It’s okay,” Julian said. “He’s not going to hurt it.”
Trey sat on the couch near Julian, who showed him how to hold the guitar. Nicole watched them and found herself drifting into the past. Her son moved closer and Julian lightly looped his arm around the boy’s neck, his hands on Trey’s smaller ones, guiding his fingers to the proper chords. Together they pieced out the tune of “Jamaica Farewell.” Trey smiled up at Julian with such adoration that her heart ached. Her son needed a father. She needed a … Get real! her mind snapped back.
Everyone applauded for Trey. Julian finished his beer and announced that he had to go. Trey tugged at him in protest, and to Nicole’s embarrassment, offered him the previously forgotten photo album.
“What’s this?”
“Those are just some family photos,” Eleanor said. “Mostly of the girls when they were little.”
Julian looked interested. “Mind if I take a quick look?”
“Go right ahead,” Eleanor obliged.
“You don’t really want to look at those,” Nicole protested feebly.
Julian ignored her. He turned the page. Before him were images of two beloved little girls. He knew which child was Nicole without being told. She was the demure looking one with the long braids. He saw them at play, in school, on family vacations, and with grandparents and other relatives. He turned a few more pages. He saw them approaching adolescence. He saw the family all together, hugging one another—the closeness—the rich tapestry of familial bonding. He had seen enough.
“You’ve absolutely got to see this one of Allyson and Nicole when—” Eleanor started, but Julian interrupted.
“Maybe another time. I really have to go. It’s been nice meeting all of you.” He moved to the door.
“The pleasure has been all ours,” James said.
“Thank you. Have a good time on the cruise.”
Julian leaned against his car and took a deep breath of the hot night air. Everything had been perfect until he had looked at those photographs; it was then that he’d felt as though the walls were closing in on him. He had no pictures, no visible evidence that anyone of his own blood had ever loved him, and it hurt, even though he knew it shouldn’t. He was, after all, a grown man.
“Julian, why did you leave like that?”
He felt Nicole’s hand on his shoulder, and he turned to look into her green eyes. “I thought you wanted me to go.”
“It’s a woman’s prerogative to change her mind. What’s wrong?” she pressed.
He wanted to tell her, but if he did, he knew it wouldn’t make any sense. He looked into her eyes again. They were misty, and they were not judgmental or callused. “I…,” he started. “Nothing. There’s nothing wrong.”
She sighed. “Why didn’t you tell my parents the truth?”
“Truth about what?”
“The truth that you’re wealthy and famous.”
“I don’t know. Somehow I figured you didn’t want me to.”
“Is mind reading another one of your talents?”
“Well, it’s not an exact science, but sometimes it works.” He gazed up at the moonless sky. “Your father is pretty cool.”
She laughed. “I don’t understand you at all.
“You don’t have to. I just want to keep seeing you.”
His eyes met hers with an intensity that was hypnotic, and he had a firm grip on her arm.
“Just say when,” she whispered, and for the second time that night, he held her close, as close as a heartbeat.
She wanted to do more than just see this man. She wanted to be lying on the ground in some hot steamy jungle, with his lean, panther-like body draped over hers. She wanted to whisper sweet nothings, share his every breath, his dreams, his passions…
“Nicole! Are you coming in?” her mother’s voice rang out into the night. “That program you wanted to see is coming on.”
Julian laughed, and Nicole’s laughter joined with his. “That’s my mom…you gotta love her.”
“I’m surprised you didn’t become a nun.”
“Are you happy I didn’t?”
He nodded but he looked at her long and hard. Are you sure you aren’t? he thought, but didn’t say.
She watched him slide into the Explorer and she remained standing there until he’d vanished from sight.
“Nicole!”
“I’m coming, Mother, I’m coming.”
CHAPTER TWELVE
A faint breeze rustled gently through the fronds of the palm trees and fresh air drifted down below. Nicole welcomed the breeze as she and Trey sat on a bench in the courtyard of the condo complex. Shane was anchored to the bench, languidly pawing at an escaping lizard.
“Come on, Trey, pay attention.” She took a quick look at the diagram in the book of sign language she was consulting and then imitated the gestures so he could see. “Here’s how you do it. I…love…you.” She waited for him to respond.
Trey stared up at the sky and pointed at an airplane flying overhead. Seizing the opportunity, Nicole thumbed through the book and found the hand signal that indicated airplane. “Airplane,” she declared, making the sign. “Like this, Trey.”
Trey made a face at her, then slid off the bench and began pulling up clumps of grass, which he proceeded to throw at Shane. The dog, sensing a game, leaped up, snapping vigorously at the grass and dirt flying at him. Nicole caught her son by the wrist and turned him around.
“Trey, I want you to pay attention. You can play later.”
He laughed and tried to throw clumps of grass at her. Nicole wanted to just give up, take advantage of the beautiful day and have fun, but the long-term consequence of Trey’s inability to communicate would be devastating.
“Honey, if you listen to me for just a half an hour, we’ll go out for ice cream later.”
Trey leveled an almost adult expression of aggravation on her, making her wonder if her child thought she was completely nuts—she was definitely starting to feel that way.
Midway through the week, she had received a report from one of Trey’s teachers, informing her that he was not paying attention in class, that he seemed bored and distracted and was not following even the most basic commands of sign language. The report had angered her. The new school year had barely started and already there were problems.
She
had been hoping that he could at least make it through this year. The next year they would try home schooling, but if right now was any indication of her skills as a teacher, it was going to be a struggle. Trey seemed determined not to learn sign language.
“Come on, Trey, please. Let me see I love you.” She repeated the sign once again.
Trey shook his head negatively and stared at the tips of his grass-stained sneakers. Completely frustrated, Nicole grabbed Trey by the arm and pulled him close to her. “I love you!” she practically screamed, manipulating his fingers into the proper position.
Trey whined and struggled to break free. She released his fingers and gripped him tightly by both forearms, in a face-to-face position.
“You listen to me right now! You’re getting too big to act like this. If you can’t talk you’re going to have to communicate with your hands.” She took a deep breath and more anguished words poured out. “Do you think other people are going to care about you, pointing and whining? Do you think the world will?”
Trey went limp in her arms and squeezed his eyes shut. My God, what am I doing? Suddenly she remembered a similar incident when Trey was three, not long after Warren had died. She had shaken Trey and screamed at him, demanding he talk, because she knew he could. Shocked at his mother treating him that way, Trey cried hysterically, making her feel like the worst kind of criminal. She had vowed to never repeat that kind of behavior—and now it had almost happened again.
“I’m sorry, baby,” she whispered, hugging him tight. “I am so, so sorry.” She could feel the first traces of her own tears as she clung to him, rocking back and forth.
Trey opened his eyes and looked at her. He reached up quietly and tried to wipe the tears from her face. She stroked his curls.
“It doesn’t matter,” Nicole said haltingly. “I will always love you, even if you never talk.”
He moved slowly out of her embrace, then turned, smiled and held up his hand, his fingers forming the I love you sign.
* * *
In the evening, Julian sat in his car waiting for Nicole to leave the hospital. It was almost midnight, so she should be out at any minute. This meeting would be no surprise, because she had agreed that he could come pick her up after he left the studio. They would talk on the way home, and if he was lucky, maybe there would be more than just talk.
This woman is really making a fool out of me, Julian thought. Here I am catering to her every mood—even playing chauffeur, and she never initiates anything. If he suddenly decided to stop pursuing her, she probably wouldn’t even question it. She would just continue on in her little world as if they had never met.
So why am I doing this? He knew the answer. Nicole still attracted and intrigued him, and her son had added another dimension to the appeal. The night he met the whole family, he’d felt a bonding with Trey that was even stronger than the day they’d gone skating. The way the boy responded when he introduced him to the guitar had reminded him of himself and his father, only this time the roles were reversed.
“Hi,” Nicole said, sliding into the car.
She looked exactly the way she’d looked when they first met. Her crisp white uniform clung to her lean, willowy body, and it rose well above her knees as she settled into the car. Her hair was held back by a barrette, as usual. He wanted to reach up and undo it so he could watch the thick shimmering tresses tumble down below her shoulders. She was so beautiful and half of that beauty was hidden behind her stiff professional veneer.
“Hey, babe,” he said. “Busy night?”
She sighed. “It was bad. A patient with no history of heart trouble suddenly went into cardiac arrest.”
He shook his head. “An elderly person?”
“No, middle-aged, maybe fifty.”
“Will he be okay?”
“He was taken down to ICU. He was stable the last time I heard.”
It was a sobering thought, but Julian really did not want to be depressed this night. He concentrated on the road, driving slower than usual so as not to get her home too quickly. He wondered if she realized what he was doing. Studying her out of the corner of his eye, he decided to be impulsive.
“How about coming to my place tonight?”
She wanted to. He knew she did, but she shook her head negatively and sat up straighter. “I can’t do that. I have to be home for Trey.”
“He’s in bed. Your sister is with him.”
Her voice sounded agitated, disturbed. “Well, I have to be there when he wakes up, to get him off to school and…”
“I’ll get you back before he wakes up,” Julian insisted. He knew that he had made progress with her during that last visit. There was no question that she was attracted to him. What was the problem? “I can have you back home before sunrise. I have to be in the studio by—”
“I said no!” Her response came out angrier than she had intended. Feeling embarrassed, she averted his eyes and looked out the side window. She tried to sound calmer. “Look, you offered to pick me up and take me home. I didn’t ask you to do this. If you have other plans, fine. Just drop me off near a convenience store and I’ll call a taxi.”
Darn crazy woman! He bit his lip to hold back the harsh words that threatened to come out. What did she think he was, some kind of deranged date rapist or something? He gripped the steering wheel harder. “Fine, whatever you say, Miss Daisy. I will take you directly home—no conversation—no pitstops. I will keep…” He stopped in mid-sentence. She was laughing.
“Julian, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be so rude. It’s just that I have a lot on my mind and…”
“Trey?” he asked, resigning himself to reality.
“Yes. He’s having problems with sign language. He doesn’t really want to learn it.”
Julian looked frustrated. “Why does he have to learn it? Why is the kid in a school for the deaf anyway? He can hear perfectly.”
She rubbed her forehead wearily. “I know that, you know that, but the rest of the world just doesn’t give a darn. They don’t want to deal with him in regular school. He can’t talk, so he has to learn to communicate in some other way.”
Julian took a deep breath. “Do you really believe that he’ll never talk again?”
“I don’t want to believe that, but the awful truth is it’s been three years. I really don’t know, so I have to make plans based on the possibility that he might never talk again.”
He made a quick left turn through the gates of the now familiar condo complex. “I understand what you’re saying, but I wouldn’t give up. Maybe Trey doesn’t want to do the signing thing because deep inside, he knows he can talk. Maybe he doesn’t want his mother to give up on him either.”
Touched by his surprising insight, Nicole struggled to find words. “You…you’re very intuitive, but as I said before, it’s been three years and there’s not much else I can do about the problem.”
“I don’t think he’s in the right school,” Julian said.
“What?” They were parked in the lot next to Allyson’s car. She knew she should get out. “What would you suggest?” she asked, looking directly at him.
“My niece goes to Harmon Academy. It’s a private school for regular kids. They have only about ten kids to a classroom, so he would get more attention than in public school, but he’d still be treated like every other kid. The teachers would be patient with him there.”
Nicole shook her head incredulously. “Harmon Academy would be perfect…if I took home a six-figure salary.”
Julian remained silent for a moment. He glanced at his watch, then back at her eyes. He knew what she was going to say even before he spoke.
“I could help.”
“No.” She toyed with a bracelet on her wrist. “That’s very sweet and generous of you to offer, but I could never accept that kind of help. Trey is my son, and my responsibility alone.”
“Not quite true,” he reminded her. “I’m sure you’ve heard the saying ‘It takes a village to raise a child.�
� ”
“A village, yes, but one very wealthy man, no.”
He rubbed his eyes and stared out the window at the stars sparkling in the ebony sky. At one point, Trey had simply been a bridge to Nicole, but the short time he’d spent with the child had affected him more deeply than he wanted to admit. He wanted to be involved.
“Well, if you won’t allow me to help financially, then how about in a different way?”
“What way?” Looking deeply into Julian’s eyes, Nicole saw no cynicism or opportunism. He looked and sounded sincere. She listened.
“I’d like to spend time with Trey, take him places. Movies, basketball games—stuff like that. You’re a great mother to him, but…”
“He needs a big brother, father figure,” she finished, flatly. “I know, I’ve heard…”
“It’s got nothing to do with how you’re raising him,” he began, and was interrupted.
“You’re right,” she said. “Don’t think I didn’t notice how quickly you and Trey bonded. That night when you were playing the guitar with him, the way he looked at you. It was almost eerie.” She shook her head, and gazed skyward. “I love my son. I want the best for him. If you think you can help, then I’m going to have to let you try.”
He breathed a sigh of relief. She held up her hand. “Just one thing. I don’t want you to talk to him about his father, or about anything concerning death. I’m his mother and I’ll handle the heavy stuff.”
Julian nodded, but he wondered just how much Nicole had actually discussed his father’s death with Trey. From past experience, he had learned it was best to handle the reality of death by dealing with it head-on, not pretending that it had never happened. Stop it! he told himself. Do not bring your own agenda into this. She’s allowing you access to her dearest possession, her child. Don’t blow it.
“I’ll be in Mexico for a few days, but the next Saturday I’m free. I promised Amanda I’d take her to the ice show. Will it be okay if Trey comes along with us?” he asked.
She thought about it for a minute. “That sounds nice. If I have to change the plan, I’ll call you.”
“Good.” He glanced at her. “You can come too.”
Havana Sunrise Page 10
