“Um, hi,” I say, still recovering from the shock of seeing him here. My heart is already beating like crazy, hating every minute of what I know is about to come.
“Fucking shit, Tessa,” Jared curses, coming closer to me. I cower from his touch, half expecting him to strike me with a slap. Even though the hit never comes, it still feels like I’m recovering from his fist connecting with my face as he stares me down, his eyes angry and pissed off.
“Where the hell have you been?” he asks me sternly.
“Um,” I reply, unable to form coherent sentences. I look around, half expecting Adam to run up and save me from this unpleasant encounter. But he’s back at home, comfy in his luxurious bed, while I’m here facing my horrible past.
“I just…” I start speaking, but Jared won’t let me finish, cutting into my sentence right away.
“You just what, Tessa?” he asks me angrily, his voice so full of rage it’s almost shaking. “You just thought you’d leave town, not even let anyone know where you were going? You thought you could just split after being treated in a fucking hospital, Tess?”
He’s furious, and he has good reason to be.
But there’s a nagging thought at the back of my mind. We broke up, only days before my admission to the hospital. So why is he here? He wasn’t even my boyfriend when it all happened, and he made it plain and simple for me to see he didn’t give a crap about me.
“You have a job Tessa, in case you’ve forgotten,” Jared reminds me coolly.
Ah, of course – there it is. What this has been about all along. Just earning money, more and more money until we’re so fucking rich we could buy a goddamned mansion, but so empty inside it feels like we’re just shells of the people we used to be.
“I didn’t forget,” I say angrily. “It says in my contract I’m allowed to stop if I get sick. I made sure of it when I signed it.”
“Made sure of it?” he mocks me angrily, and by now I’m pretty sure we’re attracting stares from strangers on the road we’re standing on. “So you made sure you could bail if you felt like it was all too much? Play your little game of pretend, say you were sick again? I’m sure that worked in the past Tess, but we’re all over that. You’re not even sick.”
He looks at me with pure disgust in his eyes. I think back to the hospital, the most horrible days of my life. I remember the tubes coming out of every hand, out of my nose and my mouth. I remember feeling so frail I thought my bones would break and snap, feeling like I’d just crumble.
Ashes to ashes.
“If anything, you’ve been a total slob,” Jared says disgustedly. “You’ve gained weight, haven’t you? Don’t you give a fuck about your career? Damn it to hell, Tessa!”
I feel so fucking small, so little compared to the elation being with Adam made me feel. All it took was one fucking person from the past, and I’m back to feeling like a speck of dust, like I’m worth nothing at all. I can already feel my mind making me bend to Jared, do anything he wants me to.
“I’m sorry,” I say softly, my voice shaking. “I’m sorry I just left…I didn’t mean to hurt or disappoint anyone. I just needed to get away, if only for just a little bit.”
Jared sighs heavily, rubbing his eyes. He looks amazing, as he always does, but I know his outfit alone took him an hour to pick out. Truth be told, his shirt doesn’t really go with the chinos he’s wearing, but I’m not about to burst his bubble. I’m the one in the spotlight, and I have to make up for what I’ve done.
I think of Adam and remind myself I’m doing it all for him. Just this conversation, and I can get back to the real world. My new real world.
“Do you want to get a drink, Jared?” I ask my ex weakly. “We can discuss anything you want, but after that, I have to get back to work.”
“Yeah, why not,” he says in a defeated tone, and we share a look.
We’ve been through a lot together, Jared and me. I helped him a lot after he had a horrific fight with his parents, after they discovered he was bi. They went totally insane, accusing him of betraying a faith he never even believed in. I saw him at his worst, a sobbing mess, and a broken man.
And he saw me at what I thought was my best, but what I now know was just a shell. He saw me as a model for his photos, the most beautiful, exquisite girl he’d ever laid eyes on.
But it was never quite enough.
Lose an inch here, an inch there. Cut my hair, color it. Dress the way I should, wear the right shoes, even the right shade of lipstick and nail polish.
And yet, it never seemed to be enough.
There was always a girl with longer hair, longer nails, and longer legs. Better lips, better boobs, better ass. I was never good enough, could never reach up to them as hard as I tried.
Without saying another word, Jared and I make our way towards a coffee shop on the street. By this point, I’m already late for work but I don’t dare say anything, afraid I’ll set him off and he’ll start ranting again.
We settle at a table outside in a relatively quiet area. We order two coffees, with Jared placing my order for me. He orders an espresso, not my type of coffee at all.
Adam would’ve never done that, I think dreamily, and a smile appears on my lips as I remember our night together. Jared can make me talk all he wants, but he’ll never be able to take that away from me.
“Why are you here, Tessa?” he finally asks a moment after the waitress deposits our drinks on the table before us. He’s giving me a scrutinizing look and I sigh before responding.
“It was all too much at the hospital,” I admit. “I couldn’t handle the pressure anymore, needed to get away for a little while. But I don’t understand why you’re here?”
I give him a suspicious look. “Did my mom make you come looking for me?”
Guilt over not telling my mother what’s been going on with me overwhelms me. Poor woman, she must be worried sick. I really shouldn’t have done that.
“No,” Jared says, his mouth set in a thin, unattractive line. “I needed to find you. I have an amazing deal for you, for us.”
I stare at him blankly, realizing I don’t even care about the so-called deal he’s found for us. “What is it?” I ask unenthusiastically.
“A photo op,” he says quickly, and I can see the excitement lighting sparks in his eyes. “A modeling contract with Elite for you, a spread in Elle for me.”
My eyes widen in surprise at his news. This is big stuff he’s talking about, the stuff I’d been dreaming about for years prior to coming to Adam.
“And?” I ask with maybe a little more interest than a moment before. “What makes you think I still care about that kind of stuff?”
“You and I, Tessa,” he begins, giving me a conspiratorial look. “We’re two of a kind, aren’t we? We care about our careers, darling, we want to make the most of what we’ve been given. And we can do it, together.”
“I’m not modeling anymore,” I explain weakly and he shakes his head dismissively.
“Of course you’re not, you’ve gained weight,” he says contemptuously. Even though I know I shouldn’t care, it slices right through my skin, hurting to the bone.
“How did you find me, anyway?” I ask, my patience becoming weaker by the second. And this seems to set Jared off again as he gives me a sly look, motioning for me to come closer and listen to him.
“I know why you’re here, Tess,” he says, his voice a soft purr, appealing yet threatening at the same time. Like a cat getting ready to strike its victim.
“What do you mean?” I ask, stuttering the words.
“I know about stepbrother dearest,” Jared says triumphantly, and I’m pretty sure all the blood drains from my face. “I know you came running right to his doorstep, you filthy, dirty girl.”
And suddenly, the words that turned me on so much the previous night sound horribly dirty coming from my ex-boyfriend’s mouth.
“What are you saying?” I ask cautiously. I’ve no idea where he’s taking this, but I
don’t like his tone much, that’s for sure. “Adam is my friend, has been for years.”
“Yes, I’m sure,” he smirks at me. “For years when you didn’t even speak to him, when he left your place.” He sees my confused expression and laughs in my face.
“That’s right, Tessa, I spoke to your mom and stepdad. I know all there is…know about your little crush, too. Bet you didn’t know lover boy called mommy and daddy as soon you arrived on his doorstep?”
My face pales even more. Adam would never sell me out like that. Would he?
“Adam was at my side like you never were,” I spit out at Jared.
“Oh, I’m sure he was at your side,” he laughs in my face. “And in all your holes, too.”
I grab my glass of water and am fully prepared to splash it in his face, but Jared grabs my arms and holds it tight, wrenching my wrist away so no one can see. My hands are shaking, my thoughts mangled and confused. What the fuck is going on here?
“Why don’t you be a good little girl, Tessa,” he purrs again. “And come home with me. We’ll get you that modeling contract, get you back on track. And I’ll get my spread and many more to come, hopefully.”
“Are you insane?” I spit out. “No fucking way am I going anywhere with you.”
He smiles wickedly at me, his tongue sneaking out to lick his lips. Disgusting, that’s what he is. I hate this man…how could I have ever dated him?
“Oh, I can imagine the headings now,” he says in a dreamy voice. “Slutty model caught in rendezvous with her own brother! World famous chef fucks his own stepsis! You’ll be the talk of the town, darling.”
I stare at him hard, the reality slowly dawning on me. I’m being fucking blackmailed by this jackass. I can feel tears pricking at my eyes already, begging for me to let them fall.
“What do you want from me?” I ask Jared weakly. “You know I don’t have any money.”
Because of you, I want to add bitterly. Because I paid for your goddamn rehab after you decided it would do your portfolio some good if you got treated for alcoholism, you pretentious ass, and I lent you all the money which you still haven’t returned.
“Simple,” he says with a shrug. “You come with me, we play the happy couple for a little while longer to calm everyone’s tits.”
“And if I don’t?” I spit out.
“I’m going to the press,” he threatens immediately. “Your fucking career will be destroyed, princess, and so will your stepbrother’s. Not to mention your parents…you don’t want to let your mommy down again, do you?”
The words are disgusting on his filthy tongue and my hand is itching for a slap…but I can’t fucking do it.
I know Jared, and I know when he’s full of shit. This delirious tone he has, though, the way his eyes sparkle triumphantly…he’s serious about the whole thing. He could destroy me with a single phone call and he holds me in his hand, ready to crush me at any moment.
Before I open my mouth, both of us know what I’m going to say.
“Fine,” I manage through gritted teeth. “I’ll do it.”
“Do what?” Jared taunts me, probably enjoying every second with it.
“I’ll come back home with you,” I agree, my heart breaking because of the confession, knowing I’ve just signed myself over to this prick.
But what the hell am I supposed to? I don’t care about my own goddamn career, but our parents…my mom barely got over my dad, I can’t put this on her as well. Same goes for Adam’s dad.
And as for Adam’s career…I need only think about his many projects, and I already know my decision is for the best. Our relationship never could’ve worked. It was doomed from the start, and we both should’ve known it would end in tears.
Tears that are now freely falling down my face.
16 - ADAM
I feel like a grinning fool as I make my way to the restaurant. I have a fucking spring in my step, for God’s sake. I’m pretty sure everyone who passes me knows I got laid last night.
Except it wasn’t just about the sex, not this time around. At the risk of sounding like an emotional softie, I have to say it was…special. Did I ever have any doubts about that, though?
A stupid grin is plastered on my face as I walk into the restaurant, but it falters pretty soon as I’m met with worried glances of my staff.
“What’s up?” I ask, the worry already settling into my voice. I think about all of the things that could have gone wrong today. It’s a busy night in the kitchen, we have a new menu we haven’t done before and everyone’s probably scared shitless.
Did I forget to order ingredients?
Did Alec or Bex bail on me tonight?
Did someone burn the ribs, which should have been slow roasting for a few hours now?
“What?” I ask again, my heart already beating too fast for comfort in my chest. Horrible scenarios play out in my head and I can only hope the night is still going as planned.
I never expect what Bex tells me, coming from around the corner. Her expression is worried, for once not the face of a confident woman, but instead panicked and twitchy.
“It’s Tessa,” she says, and with those simple words, my world threatens to fall apart at the seams. But I make myself stay calm for a moment longer, just so I can hear the rest of the story. I hope Tessa is okay, and my eyes roam the kitchen, coming up empty. She’s nowhere to be seen.
My heart burns in my chest, threatening to give out from all the pressure.
“What’s up with her?” I growl, protectiveness setting in as I scowl at my co-workers. “Did she get hurt? She burned herself? Cut something? I hope you didn’t have her doing prep, Bex!”
She takes a step back, obviously intimidated and offended by the way I’m treating her. I’m not about to apologize though, not until she tells me what exactly is going on here.
“Where is she?” I growl, my voice dangerous.
“She didn’t show,” Bex shrugs, shooting me an angry look. “We’ve been one short all day. It’s been hectic, a real madhouse. And everyone’s worried about Tess. She’s always been on time, always did a great job. We’re just worried something might’ve happened to her.”
The words sink into me and my heart falls down, down, down, into my stomach. What if something happened to Tessa? Bex is right, this is nothing like her. She’s never been late, and if something came up, she would’ve at least sent a text to one of us.
But everyone in the kitchen tells me there’s been nothing. No phone calls, no texts, no sign of my stepsister. She just didn’t show up for work.
Frantically, I dial my home number that’s barely been used these past few days. I listen to my own goddamn answering machine and beg for Tessa to pick up, wishing she was at home, maybe just down with the flu or something.
But nothing happens, the phone just rings and rings, then cuts off after my voicemail. I’m pretty sure I’ll have a minute of cursing to listen to next time I use my answering machine.
“I’m going home to check if she’s there,” I tell an ashen-faced Alec and he gives me an incredulous look.
“You can’t go, we have a new menu, we have people to feed,” he hisses at me. My career is at stake here; does Alec not think I know that? But it’s fucking Tessa. My Tessa.
“What the fuck am I supposed to do, Alec?” I hiss at him, and he gives me a shocked look. I rub my eyes and sigh heavily, panic descending upon me like a heavy cloud. “I’m sorry man, I’m worried. I don’t know what I should do. What if she’s hurt or something?”
Bex comes over and hugs Alec’s shoulders. “We get it, Adam. Go find her, we’ll take care of the kitchen. Alec can cook, he knows the menu, and you practiced it only a few days ago…I’m sure it will be perfect.”
She gives me an encouraging look, and I look at my best friend for confirmation. Alec’s offended expression slowly softens and finally, he gives me a curt nod.
“Yeah, go get her,” he says, reassuring me. “You need to make sure she’s all right.”<
br />
I stand there like a fool until they both yell at me to go.
Then I run out of the restaurant like my fucking heels are on fire.
***
She’s nowhere to be seen. I can’t fucking find her.
She’s not at home. She’s not at the café down the street. All her stuff is still in her bedroom, left just like it was last night. Now I’m totally panicking, my heart hurting so bad I’m pretty sure I’m gonna have a stroke if she doesn’t make an appearance.
I run my hands through my hair, fucking worried sick about Tessa. Where the hell is she? Where could she have gone? I just hope I haven’t scared her off with what happened last night.
But fuck, I can’t bring myself to regret having made love to her. It was the best moment of my life, one night I will remember for the rest of my life.
I crash on the couch in the living room, tired and worried sick, just as my cell phone starts to ring shrilly. It almost goes flying across the room as I struggle to pull it out of my pocket, seeing a number I don’t have saved. With trembling fingers, I answer the call.
“Hello?” my voice is shaky, and I can hear breathing on the other side of the phone. Heavy breathing, like the person on the other end of the line is just recovering from some pretty heavy sobbing. “Tessa, is that you? Please, answer me.”
Nothing, just the heavy breathing, sobs and gasps coming from the phone.
“Goddammit it,” I curse into the receiver. “Just fucking answer me, whoever you are!”
“Adam?” a soft voice comes through, a voice I would recognize anywhere. It’s Tessa indeed, and a huge rock falls off my shoulders only to be rolled right back up, because she sounds genuinely upset.
“Tessa? Where the fuck are you?” I ask, almost slapping myself as I realize I’m being too harsh. Trying a softer tone, I give my question another go. “Where are you, sweetheart, what’s going on? We’re all worried sick about you.”
Another long pause, and then the sound of her sweet voice comes through.
Bad Boy - A Stepbrother Romance Page 52
