by Leah Atwood
At the earnest plea in his eye, she agreed. “What’s going on?”
“A single man doesn’t have much weight to pull if custody of the children was ever disputed. Bruce has a married sister, and the courts would rule in her favor if she wanted to contest.”
She nodded, understanding his predicament. Although she didn’t speak her thoughts, she’d met Bruce’s sister, Tamera, several years ago, and she wasn’t a friendly person. Lisbeth couldn’t stomach the idea of precious Timmy and Mary being raised by such a woman. Even so, it didn’t mean she should marry Erich. “There are many women in town who would be honored to marry you Rev…Erich, but I’m afraid I’m not the woman for you.”
“I know I’m going about this in an unorthodox manner, but please don’t say no without thinking about it.” He crossed his arms on the table and leaned forward. “Even if Tamera doesn’t want the children, I need someone to help me raise them. My duties keep me out of the house, and Edna wouldn’t want her children raised by a governess.”
Maternal instincts fought against her instant denial. She’d never been able to conceive a child, but the desire for a child never diminished. Could she make herself vulnerable again? There should be a limit on how much pain and suffering one person could experience in a lifetime.
She couldn’t survive more heartache. It’s why she stopped working with the children at church, and why she’d cut herself off from much of the town after Henry’s death. If she didn’t allow herself to get close to anyone, she wouldn’t be hurt when they weren’t there anymore.
Yet, hadn’t she prayed moments ago for a solution to her problem? An unexpected laugh bubbled from her.
Erich raised a brow and stared at her like she’d sprouted a second head.
Ceasing her laughter, she met his gaze, then drew a calming breath for strength to answer. “The Lord works in mysterious ways. Not long before you arrived today, I prayed and asked God to reveal his plan for my life and for me to accept whatever it was.”
A wry smile stretched across Erich’s mouth. “I assume a marriage proposal wasn’t what you anticipated?”
“No. Not at all.” Her lips twitched from holding back a second round of laughter. God had responded in the most unexpected way, but she’d almost missed out. “However, I do believe you’re an answer to prayer. I’d be honored to marry you.”
Chapter Three
Erich stood on the opposite side of the pulpit to which he was accustomed. The enormity of the situation weighed heavily on his chest. He turned his head to see Timmy and Mary sitting in the front pew. Timmy clasped his sister’s hand, offering the comfort only a brother could.
A memory surfaced from years ago. Edna was six, the same age as Timmy was now, and a year older than Mary. One snowy night their father hadn’t come home, and Edna had cried, unable to be comforted by their mother. Erich had stepped in and held her hand, assuring her their father would be home soon. Edna had quieted, and an hour later their father walked through the door.
That was the first time he realized the significant role played by older brothers, and as he grew older, he took his responsibility to heart—only, he never dreamed it would mean taking in Edna’s children.
Or marriage.
Turning his eyes back to Lisbeth, he caught a glimpse of Horace and Nettie Bean sitting in the second row. The elderly couple who lived next door to the parsonage were the only adult witnesses to his marriage. He’d surely hear complaints from his congregation about not being invited, but circumstances dictated a brief, no-nonsense wedding.
He refocused on Reverend Winters’ words so he could repeat the vows. This marriage might be sudden, but he believed in “’til death do us part” regardless of the reason for joining his life with Lisbeth’s. It wouldn’t do to request Reverend Winters repeat the words for him to recite. Although Erich had married many couples during his tenure as a pastor and knew the vows by heart, his brain remained in a state of shock and not fully functioning.
Lisbeth’s left eye twitched, belying the calmness she’d displayed on the ride back to town. Along the way, they’d come to an agreement on expectations for their marriage—an awkward but necessary conversation.
Tears shimmered in her eyes. Standing at the altar, reciting vows for the second time in her life, must have been difficult for her. Undoubtedly, the event conjured memories of her first wedding day when she married Henry, the man she loved beyond measure. Her heart would always belong to Henry—Erich knew that going into marriage, but it still saddened him to know they’d never share a romantic love. It wasn’t all Lisbeth’s doing. He couldn’t promise to love her either, but he would respect her and be a good husband.
He gave her hand a squeeze and silently prayed. Bless this marriage Lord, and help Lisbeth and me to find common ground for a deep friendship, if not love.
In the moment after Reverend Winters pronounced them husband and wife, time stood still. Lisbeth stared at him, her large brown eyes like that of a frightened doe. The time wasn’t appropriate to kiss her, even if was a tradition for newlyweds. Instead, he lifted her hand to his lips and pressed a soft kiss to her palm.
A blush rose on Lisbeth’s neck, and she ducked her head, but not before he saw the appreciation in her eyes for not causing a scene about their first kiss.
Mr. and Mrs. Bean left their row and came to the front. Horace shook his hand, and Nettie hugged Lisbeth.
“Let us bring the children to our home for the night.” Nettie grasped Lisbeth’s arm. “Tonight should be a time for you and Erich to settle in.”
“I, um, I don’t think…” Lisbeth, normally poised and collected, couldn’t form a sentence.
Erich stepped in for her. “Timmy and Mary have been through much tragedy over the last twenty-four hours.” Had it been less than a day since his life had turned upside down? It felt like so much longer. “We appreciate your offer, but we think it is best that the children establish a new routine immediately.”
A frown wrought with sympathy appeared on Nettie’s face. “I understand. Will you agree to a few hours? I’m sure you have details and plans to discuss.”
She had a point, and he was grateful for the older woman’s thoughtfulness. Darting a glance at Lisbeth, he sought her approval.
Lisbeth nodded. “We appreciate your offer, Nettie. Everything happened so quickly this morning, I didn’t have time to gather any of my belongings.”
His shoulders dropped. Some husband I am. In his concern for the children, he’d never once given thought to Lisbeth’s needs. “Thank you, Nettie.”
“My pleasure, Reverend Samuelson.” Nettie reached for Timmy’s hand, then Mary’s. “Would you two like to come stay with Mr. Bean and me for a little while? You can help us decorate our home for Christmas?”
Mary looked to her brother for the answer.
Timmy glanced at Erich and Lisbeth, then back to Mary, the grief on his face palpable. “Mary likes angels. Can we make paper angels?”
Like mother, like daughter. Erich fought back the bittersweet sentiments welling in his throat.
Nettie smiled, but tears glimmered in her eyes. “As many as you both would like.”
“Do you like trains?” Horace placed a hand on Timmy’s shoulder. “I can show you how to whittle a locomotive from a block of wood.”
“Really?” The barest hint of a smile spread on Timmy’s mouth.
“Yes, I can.”
Erich caught the subtle wink Horace tossed his way. Nothing could take away his niece and nephew’s pain, but perhaps a distraction for the day would better help them cope. He watched Horace and Nettie leave with Mary and Timmy, confident his niece and nephew would be in good hands for the next several hours.
“Congratulations to both of you.” Reverend Winters left the pulpit area and stood in front of Erich and Lisbeth. “I must get home now, but I’ll be praying for the two of you. Lean on God, and he will see you through these trials.”
“Thank you for all your help in getting the
children here. We’ll be in touch soon.” He didn’t mention it would be for the funerals. Speaking of death right after he pledged his life to Lisbeth’s didn’t seem a proper way to begin a marriage.
Winters grabbed his hat from the front pew. “You know where to find me.” He tilted his chin to Erich and Lisbeth. “I must say, you make a stunning couple.”
With those final words, Erich’s mentor left without a chance to respond.
The comment twisted Erich’s stomach. He’d barely looked at Lisbeth in the way a man should notice his wife. In the past, he’d only paid attention to her looks peripherally, although his lack of attention was no reflection on her physical appearance. As a pastor, he’d trained himself to stay focused on his calling, lest he fall into distraction. Which could explain why he was thirty-two and single. Correction—was single.
He and Lisbeth stared at each other. She’d been quiet, even for her. Her expression had changed from frightened to overwhelmed.
The vulnerable tremble of her chin tugged at his heartstrings. He offered her a reassuring smile that told her everything would work out for good. He had to believe it was true—if he gave in to his own doubts and fears, he’d go mad. “Would you like to eat before we go back to your house?”
She shook her head. “I don’t think my stomach would allow it right now.”
“We’ll get my wagon stored at the livery.” He almost suggested bringing an extra set of hands to help lift anything of heft but thought better of the idea. He and Lisbeth needed this time alone. That was the entire purpose of the Beans taking the children.
Thirty minutes later, the team was hitched and ready to go. Erich lifted Lisbeth into the wagon, surprised by the heat shooting through his hands. What was happening? He went to his side and hoisted himself up. Grabbing the reins, he glanced to Lisbeth. Her shoulders were tense, and she had her hands folded primly in her lap. Her body shook with a shiver.
He moved the reins to one hand and reached into the box underneath the seat and pulled out a thick blanket. Spread it over her. “This should keep you warm.”
“Thank you.” Her cheeks rose with a shy smile before she tucked her chin to her chest and fiddled with the blanket’s edge.
“I wouldn’t be surprised to see snow in the next few days.”
“It wouldn’t be unusual.”
The easy conversation which had always come to them was nowhere to be found. Despite knowing there would be an adjustment period, Erich wished there wouldn’t be any awkwardness between them. Suppressing a sigh, he snapped the reins and left town in the direction of Lisbeth’s farm.
He started to ask questions multiple times, but every time he opened his mouth, the words wouldn’t come out. If he asked what she planned to bring, she might interpret the question wrong and assume he’d think it an inconvenience. When he wanted to ask about her plans for the farm, he stopped, lest she thought he had financial interests in her farm and thus, ulterior motives for asking her to marry him.
Nothing could be further from the truth. His sole reason for marriage was to give his niece and nephew a solid, steady life.
In his heart, he knew Lisbeth to have a grounded personality and wasn’t easily offended, yet, their new relationship status brought out insecurities in him of which he hadn’t previously been aware.
He sucked in a long breath, filling his lungs with frigid air. What was wrong with him? As a man of the cloth, he’d been in a fair share of awkward situations. Obvious romantic set ups, church members seeking wisdom regarding intensely personal issues, forgetting his sermon notes. Each time, he’d survived the ordeal and made the best of the circumstances. Why couldn’t he do that now?
If nothing else, he could tell Lisbeth what pressed upon his heart.
When he looked at her, a stray snow flurry landed on the tip of her reddened nose. Extending a hand, he wiped it gently from her skin. “I appreciate what you did for the children and me, and I’ll never forget your generous spirit. I know things between us feel off right now, but I promise I’ll be a good husband to you.”
The corners of her mouth turned upward. “I know you will, Erich.”
Chapter Four
Lisbeth snuck a bite of a freshly baked cinnamon roll. The sugary treat melted in her mouth. She moved the pan to the warming area of the stove so they wouldn’t get cold before Erich came home from ice-fishing with the children. She’d been invited but opted to stay home. After three years of living alone, her new living arrangements overwhelmed her.
Not that she didn’t like Timmy and Mary—quite the opposite. She’d already fallen in love with her friend’s children, and her heart ached for the constant grief etched into their young faces. Loss she knew, understood the consuming power of its sorrow.
After Henry’s death, only her absolute faith in God kept her going. She could see the same faith echoed in the children’s actions. For the first few days they didn’t say much, but by Thursday, Timmy had started asking questions about the future but also announced he knew his Pa and Mama were in Heaven. Even at his tender age, he understood there was a comfort to be found in that knowledge.
Despite her desire for quiet this morning, she already missed the children. She knew Timmy and Mary, Erich also, had a fondness for cinnamon rolls, so she whipped up an extra batch of dough earlier for the treats. Baking the rolls was a simple task she’d gladly perform to bring a smile to all their faces.
A spot of melted butter and cinnamon stuck to her finger, and she wiped it off on her apron, then gathered her cleaning supplies. Thankful she thought to bring her own mop and rags from the farm, she set about cleaning the house. The state of the parsonage surprised her. She’d always expected a reverend to maintain a tidy home, but Erich clearly hadn’t cleaned in some time beyond washing dishes and clothes.
Layers of dust covered most of the furniture and the windows were filthy. She’d been itching all week to get to them, but the time had been spent creating a new schedule, rearranging the parsonage to accommodate the belongings she brought, and adjusting to a new life for all four of them.
The week had been intense for everyone but Scruff. The shaggy mutt had taken immediately to the children, and they to him. Lisbeth hadn’t told Erich, but she’d caught Scruff sleeping in the bed with Mary last night. When she saw Mary’s tiny arm wrapped around the dog and a smile on her sleeping face, she didn’t have the heart to remove Scruff. Some rules were made to be broken.
She started her cleaning in the children’s room. Scruff followed her in and stuck his head in the bucket while she wrung the water from the rag. He nudged her hand, relentless in his pursuit for affection.
A laugh bubbled from her. “All right, you win.” She petted his head then began scrubbing the windows.
As she rubbed the glass clean, a weight lifted from her shoulders. Purpose she hadn’t experienced in three years filled her with satisfaction. Once again, she had someone to care for. She could never replace Edna in Timmy and Mary’s life, but she’d be the best adopted mother they could ask for. And Erich—she would try to be a good wife to him, no matter how terrifying the prospect. Funny how she adapted to the role of mother with ease, a role she hadn’t experienced, yet the idea of being someone’s wife again paralyzed her with fear.
If she thought of Erich as a live-in friend, she could handle their relationship. They had discussed their expectations for their marriage of convenience, and she’d been honest with him. As it stood, she couldn’t imagine ever having a full marriage, but she remained open to what God had planned. To his credit, Erich hadn’t asked or pushed for any more than she could give, and for that, she appreciated him greatly. They had agreed to take their relationship day by day, keeping the children’s well-being as their focus.
Her shoulders slumped under all the thoughts of marriage, and she shook aside her musings, unwilling to lose her positivity from minutes ago. Instead, she focused on her cleaning and planned Christmas gifts for the children.
Timmy loved trains.
He’d come home from the Beans’ house with a wooden train car and had proudly shown it off. The mercantile had a small toy train set for sale. It was more than she could afford, but she made a mental note to ask Erich if they could purchase it for Timmy. She hated asking for anything from him because it was a reminder of her failure to keep the farm, but for the children’s sake, she would make an exception.
Mary’s present wouldn’t cost her anything. Lisbeth had noticed how much Mary loved to snuggle, but she didn’t have her own doll or stuffed animal. She was sure Edna had one for her at some point, but Mary never said a word about missing one. For Mary’s Christmas present, Lisbeth would crochet her a bear with an old pattern she’d bought as a newlywed in anticipation of having a child.
She’d forgotten about it until she found it buried at the bottom of her hope chest last month. At the time, she’d broken down in tears, expelling grief for all her lost dreams. Now, however, she could see the Lord’s hand in having her find the pattern. Little had she known then that she’d use the pattern after all. She already had the yarn and would stuff the bear with old scraps of fabric.
A loud rap on the door tore her away from Christmas planning. Erich and the children were due home at any minute, but they wouldn’t have knocked. Who would be stopping by? I’m not at the farm anymore. Would she ever get used to living in the parsonage and have people constantly stopping by? Since Scruff didn’t bark, it must be someone familiar.
She dropped the rag into the buckets and wiped her hands on her apron, catching a glimpse of the grime covering her. How had she gotten so dirty already? She hadn’t even gotten to dusting the furniture and mopping the floors yet.
After removing her apron, she brushed off what dirt she could that found its way to her dress, then smoothed a hand over her hair. Taking a deep breath, she walked to the front door, curious but nervous to see who stood on the other side. After Henry’s death, she’d cut herself off from many of her friends and acquaintances. Three years of virtual solitude and minimal human interaction turned her into a ball of nerves at the prospect of socializing. At times, she was amazed she’d said yes to Erich, but she’d declared that an act of God.
