Rock Star Billionaire: A Standalone Novel (An Alpha Billionaire Romance Love Story)

by Claire Adams

  “It’s not. None of it is supposed to make it any better. All I wanted to say was that I am truly sorry. I don’t think I’ve ever been more sorry about anything in my life. And I would have to be really stupid to think you’d ever give me another chance. I know I don’t deserve one, and you deserve better.”

  “Yeah? Then why are you still here?”

  “Because I love you.” He shrugged. “I have never loved anyone before or after you. You were the most inspiring person in my life, never letting me down, always supporting me through the hardest of times. And I let all that go, for what?” He shook his head.

  “But I don’t love you anymore,” I said softly.

  A frown fell across his face. “I know,” he said after a few moments. “I know that. Maybe we can still… I don’t know… be friends?”

  “Why? What does that accomplish?”

  “I get to be around the most amazing girl I have ever met, and have her in my life in some capacity, even though I will know for sure that it’s never ever going to be more than that.”

  I sighed. “Never ever.”

  “Ever?” He was breaking out a tiny smile.

  “Never!” I said more loudly.

  “Friends?” He gave me his hand and I took it reluctantly.

  “Friends. But I have to go now. Lots to do tonight, need to drop by home and then go to the bank—”

  Shouldn’t have said that last part cause he raised his eyebrows questioningly. “Why are you going to the bank this late?”

  “I forgot my…” I saw my phone prodding out of my bag. “Phone…charger! I forgot my phone charger there!”

  Phew. That was a close one. I needed to be more careful about disclosing my whereabouts, especially when it concerned my super-secret rendezvous with the owner and CEO of a giant bank chain.

  “But I’ll see you later?” Rick was still talking as I started storming off before I could say too much more.

  “Sure,” I said without even looking back and dashed out of there as fast as I could.

  I heard him say, 'I’ll hold you to that.”

  Great, now I had unintentionally agreed to hang out with him. Oh well, it couldn’t be that bad. I was far too invested in Zayden to be won over by Dick-Rick’s attempts to get me back. And it really sounded like he needed a friend, so whatever, I could handle an afternoon coffee or something. I’d deal with him when I dealt with him. Right now, I had to rush home, change into sexier clothes, and go see Zayden. I couldn’t wait.

  ---

  Stacey was waiting for me in the living room when I got home. We hadn’t really talked since our last fight, regarding her helping Zayden. We said hello here and there when we ran into each other in the kitchen, but mostly communicated via Nick, who was getting increasingly frustrated with what he called our girlish ways.

  “Hi,” she said awkwardly as soon as I walked in through the front door.

  “Hi,” I said back, not looking at her. Stacey and I hadn’t fought in a long time, so I wasn’t quite sure how to approach the situation now. There was also the tiny inconvenience of timing: I was supposed to meet Zayden almost ten minutes ago. Which I couldn’t tell her because I had yet to tell her about my sexcapades, for the fear of the inevitable I-told-you-so.

  “I’m sorry,” we both said in unison. And then I just wanted to hug her and have my best friend back and tell her about the amazing things that had happened to me. I didn’t even care about the I-told-you-so anymore, I had missed her too much. I jumped on the couch next to her and hugged her against her will. Stacey wasn’t a touchy-feely person, but over the years started secretly enjoying being forced into a hug by me. She’d never admit it, though.

  “You were right,” were the first words that came out of my mouth. “You were absolutely, one-hundred percent right. Zayden makes me happy. Thank you for seeing it before I did Stace.”

  “No no no,” she said, shaking her head. “I mean, I am glad you think so and are happy now, but I shouldn’t have went behind your back like that, solely based on what I thought was best for you.”

  “Come on, Stace, let’s be honest, when have you been wrong about what’s best for me?”

  “Never,” she said and grinned. “But that’s not the point.”

  “It is though. You were right about Ricky-Dick and you were right about Zayden.”

  After a few moments of gathering courage, I said, “There is something I have to tell you about Zayden.”

  She immediately jumped upright upon hearing that her eyes widened to the size of walnuts. “Aria Roberts, you didn’t!”

  “I haven’t even told you what it is that I am talking about!” I exclaimed, even though by now we both knew that nothing needed to be said.

  “What? When? How? Where? Tell me everything,” she shrieked.

  “Can I give you a quick summary? I kind of have plans to go see him.” I checked my watch. “Like fifteen minutes ago.”

  She gasped. “So you’ve been doing it this whole time?”

  “No, no no, only once. In his office. Last week. Maybe tonight.” I started thinking back to that night and hugged my own knees. “It was amazing! He was…incredible. If that is what real sex feels like, I am surprised people ever get out of their houses.” I surveyed her from top to bottom. “Like, I am surprised you’re out here with me and not jumping Nick’s bones right now.”

  She laughed. “Oh you poor, child. I hate to be the one to ruin Christmas, but it’s not always perfect and amazing and wonderful. Especially not the first time, not for most girls, anyway. You got lucky. Zayden must’ve known what he was doing.”

  I was still hiding the fact that I lost virginity to a random guy after Rick broke up with me. She’d never let me live it down if she knew.

  “Are you saying Nick doesn’t?” I teased.

  “Of course he does. I mean, we are great and everything and I love him. It’s not perfect every single time though. And after dating for as long as we have, it kind of gets old a little bit.”

  My face fell. “Are you guys having trouble?”

  “No, no, no. Not at all! Like I said, it’s still pretty good, just not the same as what you described. Nick and I keep it interesting by doing new things—“

  “I didn’t need to know that,” I laughed.

  “Not like that. I mean we are saving ourselves for our anniversary now. It’s been almost a month, and that kind of stuff makes it exciting. What I am trying to tell you is that you shouldn’t let yourself think that sex is always going to be like perfect every time. It gets both better and worse with time, and since Zayden sounds like he is pretty damn good, you might be disappointed in other men,” she said and hastily added, “if there ever are any. I mean if this doesn’t work out… I mean, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to go there.”

  I felt a strange bubble of sadness start to build in my chest. “It’s okay, I know this is not going to work out. I mean it’s still just a contract and after six months all of this will be over. I have pretty much accepted that.”

  She hugged me this time, which was such a rare occurrence that I let out a slight chuckle. “Please don’t get hurt,” she said.

  “I don’t want to and I’ll try not to.” I shrugged. “But—“

  “But you’re falling for this guy?” She asked.

  I was not ready to accept this and the question made me feel heavy in my chest. I was not supposed to be. I knew what the deal was, I knew what I was getting myself into and this was never a part of the plan. There was no reason in the world that I should be letting my emotions get out of control, given the possible consequences, but here I was, completely and utterly gripped by the charms of a man who I knew from the get-go was never going to be mine to keep.

  “I’m falling hard, Stacey. Ugh. I just want to be able to have fun for now and deal with what happens when it happens. If only I could make these feelings stop.”

  “Then have fun! You haven’t freely enjoyed your life like this in a long time. You don’t k
now what he’s thinking! Maybe he’s feeling the exact same way. You trust my intuitions, right? I have a great feeling about this guy, I think he’s going to be around for a long time.”

  “But what if he’s not? What if you’re wrong?”

  “Then I will buy you ten gallons of ice-cream and we’ll eat it all and watch Friends marathons until your heart heals. Even if that means we are confined to this living room forever.” She smiled.

  I giggled. “You’re the best friend ever. Thank you, Stace. I’m sorry again. I really missed you!”

  “I did too,” she said pulling me off the couch. “Now go put on a sexy dress and have what you call amazing sex. There will be a long interrogation about it later.”

  Interrogation? That wasn’t going to happen.

  ---

  When I finally made it to the bank, I was ridden with excitement. This would be the first time we were alone together since we had sex. Outside the bank I removed my travel mirror from my purse and checked my appearance. I looked decent enough, and had a lingering suspicion that he would think so even if I showed up in a rag. I walked into the bank and rushed towards Zayden’s office but halted right outside. He was on the phone, yelling at somebody.

  “I just can’t fucking deal with this right now, don’t you get it?” He was shouting. I had never seen him so angry before. He was holding a stress ball and looked about ready to squish it into tiny little pieces.

  “I understand that,” he snapped on the phone. “How many times do I have to explain myself though? I know, I get it, but I can’t deal with this right now, what don’t you get?”

  Feeling suddenly nervous, I wondered if this was a good time at all. Maybe I should have stayed home and cancelled; maybe he should have cancelled. I wasn’t sure I wanted to meddle with…whatever it was that was going on.

  “We will talk on Tuesday. No, next Tuesday. I am hanging up now,” he barked, almost crushing the stress ball.

  I waited a few minutes before striding in, convincing myself that I would make him feel better, regardless of what was bothering him. He had helped me with my mother’s bills, I couldn’t run now when he seemed to be having such a rough time.

  With that determination, I entered Zayden’s office, startling him.

  Chapter 4

  Zayden

  I jumped when Aria walked in. I should have been more careful and not answered the phone when she was supposed to arrive.

  “You’re late,” I said icily. She looked terrified, so I added more softly, “Is everything okay?”

  “Sorry I’m late,” she said, walking over to sit next to me and gently putting her arm around mine. “Is everything okay with you?”

  “Depends.”

  “On what?”

  “How long were you standing there?” I grinned. “I’m just kidding. Everything is fine.”

  “That’s not what it sounded like.” She looked like she immediately regretted saying that. “Sorry, I don’t mean to pry… I just meant, is everything okay?”

  “It is now that you’re here,” I said, leaning in to kiss her, hoping it served as a distraction. She backed away after a few seconds. I hadn’t done a girl twice in a long time, but she was so damn intelligent, I couldn’t help but want more of her.

  “That’s sweet, but I am worried about you. I’ve never seen you like that. Is there anything I can do?”

  “Yes, just quit it,” I snapped.

  Her eyes widened and eyebrows rose.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap—“

  “But you did,” she said, her voice trembling. “I think it’s best I leave since you’re in such a shitty mood. You won’t tell me what it’s about so I can’t even help you, which makes my being here pointless.”

  “Why would you think that? Your being here has made this day slightly better,” I said, thinking up the best lie to tell her. “It’s work, it has been really shitty today. More protests, and someone filed a complaint against one of my loan officers.”

  “Wilson?” She asked eagerly.

  “No, not Wilson,” I said before she could email him or do something stupid. “Someone from the Nashville branch. You don’t know him.”

  “Was that him on the phone just now?” She raised her eyebrows.

  “Yes,” I sighed, feeling glad that she literally walked into a solution. “He is threatening to quit and I’ve been trying to explain to him that it will just make him look guilty—which I wouldn’t give a crap about, except that it gives the whole bank a bad reputation. I don’t want scandals, I hate dealing with scandals.”

  That merited a laugh. “Really? Sleeping with your employees would be your fault,” she said with mischievous grin.

  “Me screwing around with some tellers is hardly a scandal. They’ve all been of age and don’t work here anymore because they can’t handle that it was a one-time thing.”

  She raised an eyebrow.

  “Not you. You know better than to think you’re just a one-time thing,” I said, trying to save myself.

  “What am I, then?” She challenged.

  What had gotten into her today? This was not at all like her; she was usually graceful, intelligent, and charming. It was stupid for me to have answered Gina’s call just when Aria was scheduled to come.

  Gina was my ex-wife and the bane of my existence. She was the daughter of my mom’s oldest friend, and they had decided Gina and I would be married the second we were born. By the time I realized how wrong they were, we had already been married for five years. I was just lucky we never had any children; if it were up to Gina, though, we would have had quite a few. I suppose she thought I would never leave her if kids were involved. And perhaps I wouldn’t, and I must’ve known that deep down inside because I always turned down the idea of having kids until I was more settled with the bank, my first child. Truthfully, I had been settled with the bank years ago and just kept convincing her and myself that we weren’t ready to have kids. We had filed for divorce last year, and although it hadn’t completely gone through yet, she was still out of my life.

  Not according to my mother though. That’s the real reason I had gone to New York: to deal with this bullshit. My mother had attempted what I was convinced was a fake suicide at a hotel room in NYC, drinking half a bottle of whiskey with some painkillers—just the right amount for her to pass out dramatically, but not quite enough to cause any permanent damage. I saw right through it since she used to pull crap like that with dad all the time. Yet when I went to the hotel and saw her, pale and weak and miserable, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for her.

  Leave it to Eleanor Sinclair to milk my sympathy for all it was worth; she quickly went on a long rant about how my divorce was taking a toll on her, how Gina was the perfect girl for me, and how my happiness was the only thing keeping her alive. I tried to explain to her that Gina did the precise opposite of making me happy: for one, she had cheated on me more times than I could count, and I was pretty confident that she loved my money more than me. And most importantly, I had never quite loved her. I thought I did at some point, but it was an illusion built on lust and inspired by her beauty, not to mention my parents insisting that she was perfect for me.

  Until last year. I found out she was cheating, and was hardly surprised – some part of me knew all along. I had a solid reason to file for divorce. My mother knew what she had done and somehow found a way to blame me for it. “If only you didn’t work all the time, Zay,” she had said. “A woman has needs, and Gina was getting really lonely. Sure, she could have dealt with it better, but a lonely woman is never thinking straight. She feels a lot of remorse, and you’re a coward if you can’t accept it and forgive her.”

  My own mother. Of course she would take her side though; how many times had she cheated on my dad? And now she had pulled this whole fake attempt at killing herself, and decided to use that as bait for getting me to try again with Gina. She wouldn’t stop wailing until I agreed to sign up for couple’s counseling.

  Tha
t’s what the call was about. All too anxious to jump back into my life, Gina wanted to start the counseling right away, under the guise of “making momma happy, we owe it to her.” I didn’t want to deal with that yet, so I was meeting her to discuss the right time for that. But I had to be careful about Aria finding out. She would never forgive me. She seemed like a righteous girl, and I had a feeling she wouldn’t even give me a chance to explain myself. Even if she did, what could I say exactly? “Oh, I’m thirty-two years old but my mom is making me try and get back with my ex-wife?” It would sound ridiculous.

  All this craziness was what had led me to my rule; having sex with a girl once and moving on. I didn’t have time for any more lunatic women.

  But Aria wasn’t going to stop asking questions. Why was she so stubborn? I admired this in her; she wouldn’t stop until she got what she wanted, which sometimes was absolutely infuriating.

  I was the same way though.

  “How long has the situation with the loan officer been bothering you? Is that why you were really in New York?” She asked.

  “No,” I said and grinned at her, trying to change the topic. “I went to New York to get you your present.”

  She blushed at that and I sighed. “Now let’s not waste another minute.”

  I approached her with a fiery kiss, opening her mouth with my tongue, exploring. I could feel her melt under my breath and I was glad that I possessed the skills needed to distract her. My hands found her firm breasts and her nipples were already as hard as my dick. I began to lower my head with the intention of kissing her breasts, but she grabbed my hand with surprising force. Her eyes burning with desire, she said, “Not yet,” and then got on her knees.

  Watching her unzip my pants was enough to make my mind completely forget about Gina and all my troubles, my eyes and my head firmly focused on Aria ready to take me in her mouth.

  When she did, I lost all control and began moving. I grabbed her head and plunged as hard as I could in her mouth, reaching deep within her throat. She sucked and tried to keep up with my movements as I fucked her face faster and faster. It couldn’t have been more than a few minutes before I was ready to explode.