by Kari Edgren
He gave another contented sigh. “Ahh, yes, a prized memory. You have my eternal gratitude, madam.”
My eyes widened with indignation. “You make it sound as though I did it on purpose.”
His expression turned mischievous. “Didn’t you?”
“Not hardly,” I huffed. “Clearly our argument caused a momentary lapse of judgment. Under the circumstances, a gentleman would have turned away.”
He laughed outright. “And a lady would have given notice before stripping to her skin. Not that I’m complaining. Since then I’ve spent many quiet moments contemplating the perfection of your backside.”
I gave him a stern look that grew somewhat less dignified with a partially stifled giggle. “You’re incorrigible.”
Based on his expression, he completely agreed.
“And a libertine,” I added for good measure.
This earned another snort of laughter. “It’s no more than you deserve for trespassing where you’ve no right.” He folded his arms behind his head. “I forgive you though, but only because you’re even more beautiful when you blush.”
Right as he may be about my trespassing, the man was having too much fun at my expense.
“Is that so?” The neckline of my nightgown slipped over one shoulder as I rose to my knees.
His gaze fastened on the bare skin. “Like an angel,” he said in a voice noticeably deeper.
I arched my back in a stretch, drawing a shower of dark curls over the other shoulder. “Tell me, my lord, do you think angels blush...everywhere?”
His gaze turned to fire as a slow, shuddering breath shook his broad chest. “Most assuredly,” he said after a moment. His smile returned as he closed his eyes, though somewhat tighter than before. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve pleasant thoughts to attend to.”
“Don’t let me stop you.” My own smile turned downright impish. Slowly reaching to his side, I snatched a pillow and gave him a resounding bat to the head. In the midst of a triumphant smirk, two hands gripped my waist. With a squeal of surprise, I found myself pressed against him, his arms like a vise around me.
“Perhaps a fallen angel,” he said, brushing a kiss on my lips.
With only his linen shirt and my nightgown between us, the fire jumped to life inside me. Frowning, I turned my face away before he could kiss me again.
“What is it,” he asked, concerned. “Did I hurt you?”
“No, of course not.” I kept my eyes diverted. “It’s nothing to worry about.”
His grip softened and he ran a gentle hand along my back. “I’ve upset you. Please tell me what’s wrong.”
“It’s not you, Henry. Well, at least not directly. I just...” the words trailed off, and a good half minute passed before I found the courage to resume. “I was just wondering if you ever felt the same thing with Justine as you do with me?” There it was, my insecurity laid bare before him.
He continued to stroke my back. “You mean because she is also goddess born?”
I nodded, not trusting my voice to speak.
“The only thing I ever felt with Justine was unmitigated lust. Either she learned to hide her power during such occasions or neither of us felt strongly enough to bring it to the surface.” He tilted my chin up, and his gaze locked on mine. “Never in my life did I feel anything so amazing until that night we kissed in the woods at Brighmor. And then I was a lost man.” Unguarded love filled his green eyes, and my heart nearly melted.
I leaned forward ready to make amends for being such a nitwit. “See, I told you it was nothing to worry about.”
Henry responded immediately, his arms tightening around me as he pulled me even closer. “Seems you were right,” he murmured against my lips. “And I know how much you like to be right.”
Thump...Thump...Thump...
I froze, and pulled away a fraction of inch.
“Now what?” Henry asked.
“Did you hear that?” Pushing up, I turned toward the fireplace.
Thump...Thump...Thump...
Henry moved with the grace and speed of a cat. A few long strides brought him to the hearth where he flipped the hidden lever. I scampered to the end of the bed just as the wall panel flew open to reveal the anxious face of a young girl.
“Beg your pardon, milord,” she said with an awkward curtsey. “Sophie sent me to fetch Miss Kilbrid.”
Henry moved aside, and the girl came into the room holding a lantern. “Who are you?” he asked.
“It’s Ellen,” I said before she could answer. “I met you that day in Mr. Faber’s shop.”
The girl shuffled her feet nervously. “Aye, miss. I’m the same.”
I looked her up and down, taking in the short, sturdy frame and coarse dress. At around twelve years, this girl already knew the nature of work. “Are you one of Cate’s children?”
She nodded. “My folks is dead, miss. I work in the bakehouse most days, but her ladyship has me keeping an eye on the younger orphans while that she devil’s about causing trouble.”
Henry shifted. “Is that why you’re here? Does someone need help?”
Standing almost side-by-side, Ellen looked a mouseling compared to Henry. “Aye, milord. I came to fetch her ladyship, but Sophie says she’s been called away by the King himself. One of the kitchen boys got the pox and the whole palace went into an uproar.”
“And Sophie told you I could help?”
“Aye, miss. Sophie said ye was the same as Lady Dinley.” Her voice broke unnaturally. Wiping a sleeve across her eyes, she turned just enough for the firelight to glint off the dried tear tracks that already stained her cheeks.
“Who needs Miss Kilbrid’s help?” Henry asked.
Ellen looked at me. “It’s my friend Jenny, miss. She...she don’t have much time left.”
* * *
Two-and three-storied lodgings sat cheek by jowl, jutting this way and that in a ramshackle wooden maze. Rather than cobbles or crushed rock underfoot, a thick layer of straw had been trampled into the muddy lanes to keep them from swallowing passersby whole. The air reeked of open sewers and rot, and I went the short distance from the carriage with one hand gripping Henry’s arm and the other holding a handkerchief over my nose. Four footmen remained behind, armed with pistols and lanterns blazing to await our return. Or come to our aid if need be. In the dark of night, even darker shadows huddled in stairwells and under overhangs in search of shelter from the constant drizzle. Someone groaned and retched violently just out of sight in an adjoining alleyway. A baby cried, its fragile voice passing through the thin walls.
We followed Ellen through a doorway. Henry lifted the lantern to illuminate a single room with one small window. A cursory look showed a wooden chest and two chairs at one end of the room, and a pile of dingy blankets at the other. No fire burned to ward against the cold. Lowering the handkerchief, I gagged once, realizing too late that it smelled worse inside than out. Plink...Plink...Plink...Water dripped from the ceiling.
A feeble whisper floated in the darkness. “Help me...”
“Who’s there,” I asked, my hand tightening on Henry’s arm.
No one answered.
Something clinked in the far corner near the chest. Henry started at once toward the noise. Light spilled over a man slumped on the floor, his back pressed against the wall and legs splayed out in front. Glassy eyes stared past us, and he whimpered from the intrusion. A bottle lay just out of reach as though it had slipped from his grasp. Reddish brown smudges rimmed his mouth, smeared over layers of dirt and grime.
Henry squatted next to the man and picked up the bottle. “Gin,” he said in disgust, holding it to his nose. “The man’s dead drunk.” He tossed the bottle aside and stood.
“It’s the only way to make him stop once the madness sets in,” Ellen said,
a step behind us. “Cate tells me to get him a quart whenever I see it coming on. But it moved like a phantom tonight, and I didn’t know till it were too late.”
I turned to look at her. “Where’s Jenny?”
In reply, Ellen crossed the room and knelt next to the pile of blankets. “She’s here, miss. I...I covered her before I left.”
Kneeling beside Ellen, I gently folded back a thin layer of gray wool. Ellen gave a small sob. Henry pulled in a sharp breath, only to release it in a curse.
“Gracious Heaven!” I exclaimed. “What happened to her?”
Ellen pointed a trembling finger at the man. “Her uncle done it, miss. Went after her like a wild animal.”
I stared at the child in stunned silence. In my worst nightmares, I’d never imagined something so gruesome. Both eyes were bruised and swollen shut. A deep, jagged line cut a path across her forehead, exposing the skull in places. Bloody patches shined on her scalp where large clumps of brown hair had been pulled from the root. One cheek bore what looked to be a bite mark.
Bile hit my throat. The shredded remnants of a filthy shift did little to hide the purple and green bruises that stained the once pale skin across her skinny chest and abdomen. Red splotches encircled her neck, and a trail of bite marks ran up one arm. The other arm lay at an unnatural angle, bent back at the elbow.
How could anyone do this?
Ellen tugged at my sleeve. “Please, miss. Can ye help her?”
Hope was the only cure for dismay, and I offered it with surety. “Yes, Ellen, but I need you to step outside with Lord Fitzalan.”
Henry’s hand came down on my shoulder. “I’m not leaving you in here with that monster. He may be down for now, but there’s no telling how long he’ll stay that way.”
I heaved a frustrated sigh. Every second we argued would be another second this poor child had to suffer. “Fine, just bring Ellen to the other side of the room.”
Ellen kept a hold of my sleeve. “It’s all right, miss. I know Lady Dinley is special. If ye got the same gift, there ain’t no need to hide it from me. I’ve seen it before.”
“You’ve seen her heal?” I asked.
“Aye, miss. Her ladyship says I’ve got some of the same blood in my veins.”
Her sincerity left little room for doubt. “Very well.” I returned my attention to Jenny. The girl lay unconscious without the least sign of pain or awareness of her physical surroundings. Only the slight movement of her chest confirmed that life remained in the little body. And even that action would cease unless I acted soon.
Fire leapt to life inside me. With my hands placed on the girl’s chest, I closed my eyes to better concentrate as the power flowed down my arms into the very tips of my fingers. I released an initial stream, prepared to find all manner of internal damage, when the warmth unexpectedly faded. My eyes flew open, and I looked at her, shocked by what had just happened. During my many years of healing, I had experienced something similar only one other time...
The breath stuck in my throat. Surely this wasn’t the same. It couldn’t be. A child of seven or eight years would never willingly choose such a final course. Besides, she had already asked for help when we first came into the room. Why would she change her mind in so short a time? Holding onto this thought, I renewed my efforts. But no sooner had the power reached my fingers than it left me yet again.
My father’s words sounded clear as day in my head. There is no use fighting against my wishes.
For the briefest moment, Jenny’s eyes cracked open. Meeting my gaze, she moved her head ever so slightly back and forth. Her eyes closed again, and she went still as death.
“No!” I cried. “You can’t do this!”
Henry’s hand tightened on my shoulder. “What’s wrong, Selah? Don’t you have enough power?”
I shook his hand off. “She...she won’t let me help her.”
Desperate to get through, I released a deluge of fire sufficient to heal a dozen men. It faded to nothing, leaving me shaking as I stared helplessly down at her. The girl wanted to die, and I could do nothing to stop her.
The last glimmer of life clung to her small, bruised features. “Please listen, Jenny. If you let me, I can make you better and then we’ll take you away from here. That man will never touch you again. But you have to let me in. I can’t do anything unless you allow it.”
She didn’t move, not even the smallest twitch of her eyelids.
“Help her, miss,” Ellen pleaded, tugging on my sleeve again. “Don’t let her die.”
I felt helpless as a human as the light ebbed further from her face. “Jenny!” I yelled, my voice filling the small room. “Please, sweetheart, please just let me in. It will only take a minute.”
Henry knelt beside me. He lifted the girl’s hand for a moment, then gently laid it on the blanket. “She’s gone, Selah.”
I turned to him in disbelief. “No,” I whispered. “You have to make her listen to me. Please, make her listen—”
His arms went around me. I pushed back, but he refused to let go. “There’s nothing either of us can do now.”
A sob sounded right behind me. I twisted in Henry’s arms to find Ellen cradling Jenny in her lap. Hot tears streamed down her cheeks. “There ye go, Jenny,” she said, brushing a lock of hair from the child’s mutilated face. “He can’t hurt ye anymore.”
The scene wrenched my heart another notch. “Ellen, I’m so sorry.”
Ellen kept her gaze on Jenny. “It weren’t no fault of yer own, miss. Jenny were done being beat by that man so she went to the only place where he couldn’t get her.”
I watched in silence as Ellen continued to rock the girl. Amidst my failure, she possessed the strength to carry on.
“Help me...”
The hoarse whisper floated from the shadows. I flinched as though hit.
“Ignore it,” Henry said. “I’ll send a guard to carry him to Tyburn Square. He can spend his last breath swinging from the gallows.”
“Please, help me...”
I buried my head into Henry’s chest, a hand pressed hard over each ear. Even then, the whispered pleas circled in my head. Help me...Help me...Each circle bound me tighter, until I cried out in agony. It was too much. Lifting my head, I attempted to stand.
“Let him be,” Henry said, refusing to let go.
“You know I don’t have a choice.” My voice sounded hollow, almost inhuman.
Henry didn’t move at first. Then he gave a curt nod and helped me up.
Walking toward the man, I stumbled over a murderous thought. It is as easy to stop a heart as it is to heal one. Surely, no one in this world would be the wiser, and Brigid could not argue that the man deserved to live after what he had done to Jenny.
Lantern light spilled over his pathetic form. “What do you intend to do?” Henry asked.
To be honest, I didn’t know. Power seethed in my fingers, and I curled them into a ball, unsure if they contained life or death.
His glassy eyes continued to stare into the darkness. The reddish brown smudges around his mouth filled me with revulsion. His heinous acts cried for vengeance. Yet here I stood before him, an angel of mercy.
Or an angel of death.
What do you want from me?
“Selah,” Henry said, his gentle voice breaking into my thoughts. “I know you don’t want to do this. Rest assured, the man will hang on the morrow even if you are bound by law to heal him tonight.”
I glanced at him, thankful for the comforting words, and equally thankful that he could not read the murderous thoughts running through my mind. A drop of cold sweat rolled down my back. Henry waited, watching me. Ellen cried softly on the other side of the room. Jenny lay dead in her arms. My fingers uncurled, seemingly of their own accord as the need for retribution grew stronger...It do
esn’t matter who tightens the noose and pulls the lever. Why not let it happen tonight? Why must I defile myself to help evil?
The man whimpered. His eyes focused on mine, dark pools filled with desperation and pain. “Help me...” He tried to lift a hand, but it fell limp to the floor.
I took a step forward when Brigid’s past counsel yanked me back from the edge. “It is a hard thing to measure a man’s heart. Your power is to sustain life, not to judge it. Some of my children have fallen who sought to do more than was intended.”
The warning had come months ago, at a time when I had wanted Nathan Crowley dead more than anything else in the world. Now his sins paled in comparison to the monster before me, yet the truth remained the same. No matter how much I wanted this man dead, no matter how much he deserved it, judgment would not come from me tonight.
Wishing to be done and away from this place, I squared my shoulders and stepped past his legs to place a hand on top of his matted head. Grudgingly, I let go of just enough power to warm his skin, and to see what ailment had elicited his pleas for help. The next instant turned my blood to ice. Animal fear poured into me, then without warning, tormented screams sounded in the very center of my brain.
Kill me...make it stop.
War raged inside of him. On one side stood humanity and repulsion for what he had done to the child. On the other, madness so vile, a violent shudder tore through me. Much higher screams filled my ears. The floor shook, throwing me forward, deeper into hell.
“Selah!” Henry yelled from far away.
I couldn’t talk. I couldn’t even breathe. Strong hands grabbed my shoulders, pulled me back.
“Selah! Look at me!”
The images and screams disappeared. Warmth surrounded me, thawed my blood. The room returned and air flowed into my lungs. Blinking several times, Henry’s face came into view. His arms circled me, one hand supporting my head.
“Dear Lord,” he exclaimed. “Are you all right?”
“I think so.” My throat felt scratchy, and I swallowed to relieve the strain.
