“I’m sure it will be the same for Alex.”
“What about you? Did you and Jamie do anything interesting after dinner?” Elly asks all of a sudden.
“Not much happened, we just went back home and locked ourselves in our own rooms.” I explain quickly. I close my eyes for a moment, struggling to erase the memory of the sweet, passionate kiss we shared.
“Are you sure? I’ve known you long enough to tell when you’re hiding something.” It’s true – Elly knows me too well for me to hide anything, but her probing still feels a little too much. I remain silent for a minute; Elly does the same while she waits for an answer. Maybe I should tell her the truth, it’s always good to vent with somebody that you can trust – she seems the right person to tell what happened… or at least I hope she is.
“Okay, something happened… but I didn’t mean it.” I explain. Deep in my heart, I know that this is not the complete truth. I have to protect myself right now, though – I have to be careful what I say.
“What happened then?” Elly asks suspiciously.
“I kissed Jamie,” I almost whisper, ashamed of myself.
“Whaaat? You kissed him?”
“Keep quiet, Elly!” I’m worried Jamie can hear our phone conversation from outside my room.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to shout – that’s breaking news! It’s not something I get to hear every day!”
“Breaking news? As I said, I didn’t mean to kiss him.”
“How did it happen?” she asks with interest.
“Elly! I’ve just said that I didn’t mean to do it, it doesn’t matter.”
“You can’t leave it unsaid now, I want to know! It sounds like your night was a lot hotter than mine… I want more details! So how did it happen?”
“Nothing much to tell – it was just a kiss… maybe two.” I admit unwillingly, unable to accept the truth.
“Two kisses? That sounds more and more interesting!”
“Okay, okay,” I finally surrender. “The truth is that Jamie kisses divinely and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it ever since.”
“Wait a minute – you kissed last night and you can’t stop thinking about it. Does that annoy you?”
“Yeah.”
“What about Jamie?”
“What about him?”
“How’s he been since it happened?”
“He keeps mentioning it because he wants me to admit that I liked it and that I would do it again. He’s so persistent!”
“It sounds as if he liked it too…”
“Elly! I don’t care whether he liked it or not! I just want to find a way out of this situation. I don’t want to think about him, I don’t want to have enjoyed the kiss, I don’t want to kiss him ever again, I don’t want to be attracted to him, I just don’t want him.” I cry desperately.
“Well, nothing is impossible – you can try to keep away from him and see if it works. If I were you, I would go back and kiss him again and again to check just how much I like it.”
“Elly!” I’m both embarrassed and annoyed at the same time. “Stop it! I can’t be attracted to him. I hate him… had you forgotten?”
“That’s not quite true – you want to hate him, you want to have somebody to blame for the fact that your father didn’t hand the company over to you. Your dad loved the company more than you and you worked really hard for five years at uni to earn your place in it. You don’t have to blame Jamie for it though – you like him and you have feelings for him, right? I remember you saying that you were struck by him the first time you saw him. Why do you keep denying it now? He would be perfect for you!”
“No, Jamie wouldn’t be perfect for anyone,” I insist. As I speak, I remember how attentive he was with me last night. That’s not the real Jamie, though – he’s usually sullen and arrogant. His mood swings would confuse even the most confident woman; he’s not exactly an example of the perfect man. The fact that he’s good looking and kisses divinely doesn’t matter. No, he’s not the right man for me.
“I think you’re trying to convince yourself that you could never like Jamie, when you’re head over heels in love with him. Maybe it’s a matter of confidence – you were disappointed by Jamie once when your father chose him over you, and you just don’t want it to happen again. The fact that a man that you loved disappointed you doesn’t mean that any other man will do the same.”
“You should be on my side, Elly – you should be supporting me, not trying to make me empathise with the enemy!”
“I’m trying to help you, Ashley. I knew that you were attracted to Jamie straight away, you just have to be honest with yourself and enjoy your relationship with him.”
I sigh, frustrated. It’s obvious that I won’t change Elly’s mind. I’m annoyed with her because she’s stubborn and doesn’t want to understand my point of view. If her theories are correct, they’re not going to help me solve my problems. How can I even begin to think that I can trust Jamie? How can I fall in love with him? It will never happen!
“Are you okay?”
“Yes,” I reply with resignation.
“No, you’re not.”
“I’m fine, Elly. I’m okay.”
“Of course you are. Ashley, please, trust me – you can’t keep pretending that you’re not attracted to him. There’s nothing wrong with it, you could be truly happy if you wanted to be.”
“Aha.”
“Okay. If you don’t believe me… I’ll show you. You helped me find my soulmate – now let me help you do the same.”
“What do you have in mind?” I ask, alarmed. Elly’s ideas are always a little scary.
“Don’t worry – just trust me. I have a plan,” she concludes, then she hangs up. Seriously? What am I supposed to do to stop her now? I’m terrified. Perhaps I shouldn’t have told her anything – her mysterious plans don’t sound reassuring at all.
I put the phone on the bedside cabinet, and settle on my bed again. A moment later, Jamie knocks on my door. What does he want now? Did he hear me on the phone? I’m still going to try my best to hide my feelings – who ever said that you can’t control your emotions? I’m going to show myself that I can take control of my heart and get back my apartment – which is all that I wanted anyway. The world can’t be so unfair – I can’t forget my ultimate purpose in all this.
“Yes?” I ask, hiding under the blanket. I know that ignoring him won’t help, it will just make him insist and give me a headache. Seeing his face again won’t help me to feel any better either, though.
“Can I come in?” he asks, completely unaware of how inappropriate this question seems to me.
“No, you can’t!” I burst out, now hiding even my head under the blanket. He opens the door anyway and enters the room. I knew he was going to – Jamie never listens to what others say.
I hear him approaching me, but I ignore him.
A moment later, one of the corners of my bed sinks and I feel his hand on the blanket, right by my shoulder.
“Ash,” he calls me, sounding both scolding and kind. I’ve never heard anybody else manage to balance out the two qualities so perfectly in one word.
“I thought I’d told you not to come in. I don’t want to see you!” I tell him, my voice muffled through the blanket.
“You’re still not seeing me. Look, it’s almost 6 p.m. and you haven’t even had lunch.”
“That’s your fault!” I retort, still hiding under the blanket. His presence in my apartment limits my freedom – even more so now, after we kissed so passionately.
“Of course – I bet that I’m also the cause of natural disasters, world poverty and the extinction of several exotic animals,” he says sarcastically.
“World poverty is a serious thing, you shouldn’t joke about it.” I can’t help but spring up, freeing myself from the blanket. I glare at him and he replies with an amused grin. “But you’re not very far from the truth – most problems have been caused by you recently.” I add, and then
I sink under the blanket again. I feel a lot safer down here!
I hear him laugh through the blanket – okay, maybe my reaction was a little ridiculous, but I still don’t want to see him. Is it so difficult a concept to grasp?
“Can you laugh away outside my room, please? You’re invading my private space.” I complain without the courage to get out of my hideaway.
“I can’t leave the room unless you’re with me. I don’t want to leave you to starve here, it would be a horrible thing to do. It’s my priority to make sure that you take care of yourself,” he says. Why can’t I just have a normal Sunday?
“I’ll go and eat something as soon as you get out of my way, go please.” I’m exasperated, and the only way to convey my feelings is to be really blunt with him – he has to realise that I don’t want to see him around.
“Okay – if good manners won’t work, I’ll try bad ones.” he warns me. Then, he stands up and pulls the blanket away. He wraps one of his powerful arms around my waist, lifts me up and puts me over his shoulder like a sack.
“What the hell are you doing? Jamie! Put me down!” I shout, trying to wriggle free. He ignores me and strides out of my room, heads downstairs and carries me into the kitchen. I kick and punch at him in vain, until he finally puts me back on my feet.
As soon as I manage to look at his face, I feel the urge to slap his cheek again, but remembering the consequences of the last time I did that halts me in my tracks. I turn towards the counter and breathe deeply to try to find some equilibrium.
He knows my weak points and he’s not going to give up until he has won me over. I glance at the counter and I’m awestruck at the sight of two plates of piping hot spaghetti – the spaghetti is arranged in perfect circles and I struggle to believe that he didn’t use a mysterious machine to place it so perfectly. On top of the mounds of spaghetti, there are a couple of almonds and a couple of parsley leaves. The smell is so good that my mouth salivates. I want to taste it!
“Shall we sit down and have the pasta then?” Jamie wakes me from my trance and reminds me that I’ve fallen prey to his tricks again. He looks happy to have got me into the kitchen to eat and glances at me before tucking in.
“I’m going to eat it, but only because it would be a shame to waste such a beautifully presented dish, but I’m extremely angry with you.” I tell him, and then I sit down on one of the stools.
“You don’t look that angry at me…” he comments, sitting beside me.
“Oh, trust me, I am. Words can’t describe how angry I am with you right now.”
“Is it because of the exotic animals’ extinction? If that’s the reason, I’m afraid I can’t do much about it.” he says and smiles at me – he’s so handsome when he looks at me like that. I should pull myself together, but this feels like the most difficult task in history right now. I’ve always been a very determined type – I always manage to get what I want, no matter how many challenges I have had to face. Then why has hating Jamie for the rest of the year become so difficult?
“That’s not the reason,” I mutter, lowering my eyes to my plate. That’s the only way of avoiding his seductive smile. “You know why.”
“Not quite, what’s the reason?” he insists, then he leans over towards me a little. What is he trying to do? Does he want to kiss me again? I’m not going to fall for that again – I’m not that easy! I won’t tell him anything – I don’t want him to use my weak points against me. Even though it’s difficult to imagine that he doesn’t know what my problem is – my face betrays the whole story.
“You know already. Stop getting so close to me and let me eat my food – I’m starving.”
He laughs again while I take my fork and begin to roll the first mouthful of spaghetti. It’s true that I hate Jamie, but no hate can ever be strong enough to put me off such delicious food. I bite on the first forkful of pasta – a thousand flavours burst in my mouth simultaneously. It’s even tastier than I thought! I love the creamy texture of the sauce, the sprinkling of black pepper that highlights the back taste of almonds, the crunchiness of the bread crumbs, the freshness of the parsley leaves. This is the most exquisite pasta dish I’ve ever had!
When I open my eyes again, Jamie is looking at me with a satisfied expression on his face; his head leaning on his right hand and his elbow resting on the counter.
“What?” I ask, a little embarrassed.
“Nothing, I just like to look at you.” His eyes are penetrating, his silky voice has lowered a little.
“Don’t say that,” I warn him; I can’t help but blush. How has he suddenly turned so sweet?
“It’s not a bad thing,” he says happily.
“It doesn’t matter if it’s good or bad, just keep it to yourself. It’s… embarrassing.”
“I don’t understand why you’re so keen to pretend that there’s nothing going on between us.”
“I’m not pretending – there is nothing between us,” I reply assertively. In my head, I begin to repeat my mantra: ‘I hate Jamie, I hate Jamie’. I’ve never needed to repeat something so many times in my head before.
“Are you saying that you’re not attracted to me?” His incredulous tone lets me understand that he’s not quite asking me a question.
“I hate you! How could I ever be attracted to somebody that I hate?” Logic has always been on my side – I’m going to win this time!
“Wouldn’t you feel anything if I kissed you now?” he insists, staring at me with his intense eyes – they disturb the deepest corners of my soul and hypnotise me better than any magician could ever do.
“Of course not!” I lie shamelessly, while my heart begins to race without my permission.
“I don’t believe that.”
“I doesn’t matter.”
“Show me,” he challenges me. “Kiss me.”
“Shut up!” I lean back, on the defensive.
“See? I’m right!”
“You’re wrong,” I protest, trying to convince myself more than him.
“Then show me.”
“Stop pushing me. I said ‘no’.”
“Then I’m right.” He’s so annoying when he’s being stubborn. He acts exactly like a child.
“You’re wrong,” I repeat.
“Why would I be wrong?”
“Because I hate you. I hate you, okay? Now stop it!”
“You’ll have to admit it sooner or later,” he says confidently, while his eyes glint with a hint of frustration. He focuses his attention on the spaghetti and begins to eat. This conversation has upset me, but at least I have won the fight this time.
Why does it have to be a struggle every single day? Why couldn’t my father simply leave the apartment and his bank balance to me without forcing me to live with Jamie? Why was that necessary? Did he want to show me how charming and enchanting Jamie can be? If that was his goal, he has pretty damn well achieved it in much less than a year. Would that be enough to let me skip the rest of the year with Jamie?
*
I’m buried under my blankets again, when the phone begins to ring and forces me out of bed for the second time today. Who the hell’s bothering me at this time? I pick up the phone and glance at the screen – it’s a number that’s not on my contact list and it looks foreign. Nothing worse could happen today, so I decide to risk answering it.
“Hello?” I groan.
“Hey, love. It’s Mum! How are you?” My mother’s voice surprises me. I didn’t expect her call. We usually talk once in a blue moon – the holidays and some other rare occasions, nothing more. She’s always incredibly busy. Now that I think about it, I should have imagined that it would be her calling from abroad.
“Mamma! It’s not Christmas yet, are you okay?” That’s probably a bit rude, but I’m not in the mood for politeness today.
“I know but I have some news and I wanted you to be the first to know.”
“What?” I ask suspiciously.
“Walder and I are engaged!” she announces o
ver excitedly, she doesn’t sound like my mother any more.
“Walder? Who’s Walder?” I’ve never heard that name before.
“My cameraman, darling. Walder Cooper. We’ve been seeing each other for a while and he decided to propose!”
“What’s he like?”
“He’s a lovely man!”
“Great!” I’m genuinely happy for my mother. Finally something to be happy about. “I’m glad to hear that, mother. When are you going to get married?”
“I don’t know – I haven’t given him an answer yet.”
“What do you mean?”
“You know what I’m like – I’m a free spirit, I don’t like to tie myself to anyone, but there’s something special between me and Walder and I don’t want to ruin it.”
“Marriages don’t ruin beautiful things,” I reply.
“Not between normal people, that’s right. Marriage shouldn’t have ruined the relationship between me and Nathan, but it did. Neither of us did anything to deserve divorce, not purposely, at least. It just happened. After marriage, love begins to burn itself out – it’s a slow but inevitable process.”
“Mum – I don’t think that’s how it works. Maybe Dad just wasn’t the right man for you, that’s all. It’s nothing like a fire burning out.” I try my best to sound positive, even if I also struggle with the same vision of love. Maybe Elly is right about me just having to make a leap of faith and trust Jamie.
“That’s true, darling, that’s true. How are things going for you anyway? Did you read Nathan’s will?”
Oh, right. Mum and I haven’t spoken since Dad’s death.
I told her about the will back then, but I wasn’t expecting anything like what I’m struggling with right now.
“Yes.”
“Did he give you the apartment then?”
“Yes, just as I thought,” I lie, I really don’t want to have to tell the story from the beginning and have to reassure her that everything will be fine for me. I know that she’s my mother, but she’s a well known NBO journalist before being my mother and, to my regret, she has always struggled to balance the two roles.
“Are you happy now?” she asks. Apparently I’m going to have to lie to her for a quiet life.
The Inheritance: A feisty, giggle-inducing romance Page 15
