Like I told you last night, you're a very attractive woman. Alone
there, it would have been easy to---get carried away---and you might
have regretted it later. All of that rushed through my mind when I
recognized Tom coming to our campfire. Then I was feeling guilty and
embarrassed and I didn't know what to say."
"You wouldn't even look at me!" she accused, her voice betraying
a hint of the hurt she'd felt---was feeling.
"I couldn't," Harry explained candidly. "I was afraid you'd be
looking at me---the way you're looking at me right now. I'm so sorry,
Malista. I didn't mean to hurt you---or embarrass you."
"I thought you were---ashamed that you'd kissed me. I thought
maybe you just felt sorry for me," she confided, blurting the words
without thinking.
Harry was dumbfounded. He'd known she had little confidence in
her own sexual appeal, but it had never occurred to him that she
would doubt his sincere physical attraction to her, especially after
what they'd shared.
"Malista, men don't kiss women out of sympathy---at least not
often---and I don't at all!" he asserted. "Why would you think I was
only kissing you because I felt sorry for you?"
She looked down at her hands and mumbled her response.
Harry couldn't understand it. He reached across and grasped her
hand. "What? Malista, tell me! Why would you think I only kissed you
because I felt sorry for you?" he repeated.
Her dark green eyes flashed up to his. "Because I had to ask you
to kiss me! It wasn't your idea!" She snatched her hand away from
his, her resentment patently obvious.
Kim collapsed back onto the couch, flinging his arms wide. "I
just can't win! This is my own personal Kobayashi Maru!" He stared
at her, eyes wide. "You don't understand, Malista. I guess I
shouldn't have expected that you would. The only reason I didn't kiss
you sooner was because you're an innocent! And you're afraid of men!
And you were stuck out in the middle of nowhere alone with me! I'd
have to be the worst kind of selfish, depraved---A man doesn't---
shouldn't take advantage like that! But I did anyway! That's why I
was so worried."
She gaped at him in astonishment. "You weren't taking advantage.
I asked you to give me kissing lessons."
Harry let out a short bark of laughter. "I should have said no!
I should never have started something I couldn't---we---you wouldn't-
-- Never mind."
"You're acting weird again, Harry Kim," she said with a
suggestion of a smile. "Are you trying to tell me---you did like
kissing me?"
"If you couldn't tell that I liked it, then I was doing it
wrong," the ensign replied with a sly smile.
Malista felt the blood rushing to her cheeks. "As far as I know,
you weren't doing anything wrong."
"So---" Kim drawled hopefully. "Will you forgive me? Yes. I did
lead you on, I didn't dump you---but I did ignore you. Or tried to.
So will you forgive me?" Harry repeated. He sat forward on the edge
of his seat, his elbows resting on his knees.
A smile was playing peek-a-boo as she tried to face him
solemnly. "Yes. I'm sorry, too, Harry."
"For what?"
"For all those names I called you. For all those rude things I
said about you. For all those punishments I thought up---"
Harry held up his hand. "Hold it. I don't think I want to hear
this. Especially if Jenny Delaney was encouraging you. She has quite
an imagination."
"So," she said, "where do we go from here?"
"What?" Harry Kim gazed at her blankly. He hadn't thought beyond
making an apology and hoping it would be accepted. He had no idea
what to say.
Her shy smile dissipated like wisps of fog on a sunny morning.
"Are we---Do you---" She stopped. She had no idea how to ask the
question. "You said that you enjoyed kissing me," she finished
weakly.
"I did." Kim wasn't sure how he'd gotten there, but he had a
sudden conviction he'd gotten himself up to his neck in quicksand.
The light dawned. "Oh! You mean, where do we go from here?"
"That's what I said." Malista was not smiling now.
The ensign pulled at his collar. Somehow the room seemed warmer.
"Well, I hope that since you've forgiven me for last night---for
taking advantage of your inexperience---that we can be friends." He
smiled uneasily. He wasn't sure what she wanted him to say.
"Friends?" She studied his face impassively, reminding him
momentarily of Tuvok at his most Vulcan. It was hard to interpret her
tone when she spoke in monosyllables.
"Yes. We can be friends, right?" He hoped he didn't sound as---
pathetically inept as he thought he did.
"Friends." She said again. She closed her eyes for a second.
When she opened them, she permitted herself a small smile. "Yes, of
course, Harry. We can be--- friends."
He almost let out a sigh of relief. He hadn't blown it after
all.
"Harry?"
"Yes?"
"You need to leave now," she said gently, standing and moving
toward the door. "I have to shower and get ready for my date."
He followed her, frowning at her unconsciously. "Date?" he
echoed.
"Yes. If you'll excuse me---"
The door slid open. "Date?" he repeated.
"Yes, Harry." She gestured toward the open door.
"You have a date?"
"Yes, Harry."
"Tonight?" He reluctantly stepped into the corridor.
"Yes, Harry," she said politely. "Good night, Harry."
The door slid closed, leaving him standing there staring at it.
"She has a date!" Harry said aloud to no one. 'Last night, she's
taking kissing lessons from me ---and now---the very next night---she
has a date---with someone else! Women!' he thought indignantly. He
spun on his heel and marched away from her door.
***********************
Tom Paris had a very bad feeling about this. "B'Elanna, are you
serious? You aren't kidding, are you?" Without conscious thought, he
began pacing again. "Jenny and Megan want to do a make-over on
Malista? They'll probably give her flirting lessons and set her up on
a date. I don't think she's ready for this. Why the hell couldn't
Harry fall for her? They'd make a great couple! And I could trust
*him* not to get out of line! I know how guys think. They all think
Malista is an easy target. She's vulnerable. She's innocent. She'll
fall for a smooth line."
Torres shook her head, smiling as she watched Tom's newly
developed brotherly instincts kick into warp drive. It was a side of
his personality she'd never seen. His protective instincts toward the
two women were not exactly the same. The chief engineer was certainly
a less fragile character than Malista Shadow, but when he and
B'Elanna had been prisoners of the Vidiians--- The memories of Tom's
efforts to encourage and protect her roused a fierce sense of
gratitude and loving affection for the pilot that demanded to be
expressed. Immediately!
She jumped to her feet and pounced
on him, wrapping her arms
tightly around him in an impetuous hug that nearly squeezed the
breath out of him. "Attack hug!" she announced, rubbing her cheek
against his chest.
Reflexively, he hugged her back just as tightly, surprised and
touched by this unexpected display of affection. "What brought this
on?" he asked, rubbing his cheek against her hair, then kissing
and nuzzling the bumps on her forehead. His warm breath tickled.
She pulled her head back. She grinned at him. "You! You're
irresistible when you're paranoid!"
"Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean they aren't really out
to get me," he said, blue eyes glowing.
Her chocolate brown eyes sparkled up at him. "Help! The
paranoids are after me!'
"I'll rescue you," he volunteered.
"Later," she whispered. She stood on tiptoe and teasingly
brushed her lips across his throat.
***********************
Malista stood in the shower, the tears on her face
indistinguishable from the drops of water pouring over her face and
body. She allowed herself to cry for a short time, but shut off her
tears with an effort of will just as she shut off the torrent of
water. She toweled the glistening droplets from her light gold skin,
and quickly pulled on her baggy green jumpsuit, one of the few
clothing items she possessed other than her uniforms.
As she brushed her short black hair, she caught herself staring
at her reflection. "What are you looking at?" she asked her mirror
image. "Did you seriously expect that a man like Harry Kim would be
interested in you?"
She made a sound between a laugh and a sob. "He's smart,
talented, handsome. A Starfleet Academy graduate. A really nice man.
He could have any short woman on the ship! Why would he want a
hulking lummox like you?" She brushed her hair with vicious strokes
as she continued her monologue. "You don't know anything! You're an
innocent!" she quoted.
"That's his polite way of saying you're a moron who wouldn't
know what to do with a man---except for kissing. I'm now an
experienced kisser. Oh, sure. Let's put that on a resume. In a
personal column. Single female seeks single male. Qualifications:
She's been kissed a couple of times. Wow! That would start a stampede
for your door! You idiot!" Disgusted with herself, she threw her hair
brush down on the dresser and knelt to look under her bed for her
shoes.
"Delaney to Shadow."
She cleared her throat to remove the last trace of the tears
she'd shed before answering. "Go ahead."
"Malista! You're late! Get over here! Susan talked the doctor
into loaning her the gizmo! We're all ready for a major reclamation
project!"
In the background, Malista heard Susan berating Jenny. "For
crying out loud, Jenny! You make her sound like a disaster area!"
"I'll be right there, Jenny. I feel like a disaster area. Shadow
out." Malista gathered her courage in both hands and prepared to
take her second step toward being assimilated into the collective
sisterhood of women aboard Voyager.
***********************
B'Elanna Torres, Tom Paris, and Harry Kim were seated at their
customary table in the mess hall. B'Elanna had been wearing a
secretive smile since her arrival, but refused to divulge the source
of her amusement. Tom had begun making wild, speculative guesses,
each more outrageous than the one before. "The doctor's
developed a holographic playmate for himself?"
"Don't be a pig," Torres sniffed.
Tom squinted as he thought furiously. "Someone stole all of
Neelix's leola root supply?"
"You wish."
"Come on, B'Ella, give us a hint?"
"Us?" She jerked a thumb toward Kim.
Tom took a quick look at Harry's distracted frown. The boy
wasn't paying attention. Kim had told them he'd apologized and
Malista had forgiven him for whatever it was that happened. So why
wasn't he in a better mood? The trio heard
a commotion at the doorway and glanced over to identify the source.
Megan Delaney, Jenny Delaney, Susan Nicoletti, and another young
woman had just come in the door. They were surrounded by five men
from various sections of the ship, all vying for their attention as
they made their way through the buffet line and to a large table.
Paris' jaw dropped. The other young woman was Malista Shadow.
Torres reached over and gently pushed up on Tom's chin. He closed his
mouth obediently and looked to her for an explanation. "How? What?"
He frowned as he took in the
changes in Malista's appearance. He darted a look at Harry to catch
his reaction.
Kim was staring as if he couldn't believe his eyes. Her formerly
short hair, now was almost shoulder-length, thick, and wavy, moving
and swinging distractingly with each movement. It gave her a more
feminine, softer look that drew attention to the lovely oval shape of
her face. She was also wearing make-up for the first time. Blush to
accent her high, elegant-looking cheekbones, green eye shadow that
drew attention to the slight slant of her green eyes, and a moist red
lip color that emphasized the fullness of her lower lip.
Tom looked at B'Elanna. Outraged, he demanded, "What did they do
to my little sister? She looks---she looks---And look at all those---
goofs---gawking at her!"
Torres laughed delightedly. She'd known Malista's new look would
have an impact. And what an impact! The 'goofs' were absolutely and
positively gawking at her. Every man on the ship was---or would be
very soon. She was highly amused at Tom's reaction, which signaled
the final disappearance of any lingering doubt in her mind that he
was romantically attracted to the other woman.
B'Elanna thought it was ironic that Tom couldn't see the funny
side of this. If this new, confident Malista Shadow had been on
Voyager from the beginning, Tom Paris probably would have been part
of the pack pursuing her. Or maybe not. Tom was more the lone wolf
type. Except right now he bore more of a resemblance to Papa Bear
than any kind of wolf. Torres stifled a giggle as she followed his
glare across the room.
For the first time in her life, Malista wasn't cowering away
from the stares she received. In fact, she was looking back and
innocently enjoying the power of her
femininity and prettiness.
She'd received a crash course in the art of flirting from the
acknowledged mistresses of the game, the Delaney sisters. Secure in
the knowledge that the Delaneys would deflect any inappropriate
behavior, she was putting those lessons to use; smiling coyly,
sliding those sparkling eyes up then gazing adoringly at each man in
turn---even playing with her hair. She was currently dividing her
attention among three admiring young men who were building her ego at
a tremendous rate as they competed verbally to win her admiration.
Some of the onlookers were surprised to notice that the Delaneys
were keeping a watchf
ul, almost maternal, eye on the younger woman,
making sure none of the men went too far or too fast for their ward.
Two of the men who'd arrived with them had already been dismissed for
some imagined offense and shooed away.
Torres examined Ensign Kim's reaction. 'Poor Harry!' she
thought. 'He looks like he's just been fried by a systems overload!'
Harry Kim was alternating between staring at Malista Shadow and
at his own plate. He abandoned his food and concentrated on drinking
his tea. "Her hair was almost as short as mine last night," he
commented, finally thinking of something innocuous to say.
"They used the Doctor's follicular accelerator," Torres replied.
"It's usually used for regrowing hair on burn patients or for
disguises for away teams, but he made an exception and let Susan
Nicoletti borrow it."
Malista laughed aloud. Ensign Murphy was holding her hand,
pretending to read her palm, prattling some nonsense as an excuse to
stroke her palm with his index finger and gaze into her eyes.
Tom was slowly and deliberately getting to his feet, his fists
clenching and jaw tightening.
B'Elanna snagged his wrist and reeled him in. "Sit down!" she
hissed under her breath. "If you ruin this day for Malista, I swear
I'll push you out an airlock, Tom Paris."
"But those guys---" he began, sitting down, but still frowning
in their direction.
"Those guys are looking, not touching---well, hardly touching,"
Torres informed him. "Susan and the Delaneys are watching out for
her. They're letting Malista get her feet wet without giving anyone a
chance to push her in over her head."
Paris scowled, twisting his handsome features into a mask of
Klingon-like ferocity. "Nobody better push Malista---anywhere, any
time, any way---or I'll push his damn face in. She may look
different---more grownup---but she still doesn't have any experience.
Hell, she's probably never been *kissed*."
Harry strangled on his tea and began coughing. B'Elanna gently
slapped his back to help him clear his windpipe.
Tom glared at him, his suspicions suddenly aroused. "Harry, what
exactly did you---"
B'Elanna whacked Tom's arm. "Will you stop it? You are really
getting paranoid when you start suspecting poor Harry! If you don't
calm down, I'm going to tell Chakotay you need counseling. Eat your
Trials 02 Harry's Trial Page 10
