by Kristi Gold
He wanted answers. Now.
Without bothering to knock, Dharr barged into the room to find Raina seated on the edge of the bed, arranging her clothes in the bag she’d brought with her.
He raked the kaffiyeh from his head and tossed it onto the corner table. “What are you doing?”
She afforded him only a brief glance before going back to her packing, seemingly unaffected by his anger. “I would think that’s obvious. I’m getting ready to leave.”
“Why now?”
After zipping the bag with a vengeance, she came to her feet. “I have to go back to work. Besides, I’m not needed here anymore.”
If she only knew how much he needed her. If he only had the strength to tell her. “And your father? Are you no longer concerned with his health?”
“It appears that he has a stomach problem, not a heart problem. My mother informed me of that this morning, as well as the fact she intends to stay and work on her marriage.” She released a caustic laugh. “Imagine that. After eleven years, they’re going to carry on as if nothing happened.”
“I would think that would please you.”
“In a way it does, in another it makes me angry considering all the time they’ve wasted. But it really doesn’t matter what I think. My mother is staying here to take care of him, and I’m free to return to my life in California.”
She desired her freedom, not him, something he’d known all along. Dharr’s defenses took hold, surrounding his emotions in protective armor. “Apparently you have made up your mind.”
“Yes, I have. And thank you for letting me wear the dress. I’ve hung it in the closet. And I left the lamp for you, a little something to remember me by.”
He would need no reminders. Her memory was already deeply etched in his soul. “You need not return any of it. It is all yours. I have no use for it.”
“I appreciate that, but I’m sure you’ll find someone else who will wear the dress better than me. A true queen.”
That would never be true for Dharr. He would never find anyone who could compare to her. Anyone who would make a better queen. A better lover. A better life partner.
Raina retrieved an envelope from the nightstand then handed it to him. “Here. I wrote down a few things I want you to know. You can read it now if you’d like.”
Another letter, a different woman, a repeat of history. “I will read it after you are gone. I must return to my guests.”
When he saw the disappointment in her eyes, he almost gave in. “Fine. Suit yourself then.”
The shrill of the bedside phone caused Raina to jump and she snatched it from its cradle. “Yes?” A moment of silence. “Great. I’ll be down in a few minutes.”
After she hung up, she told him, “Your parents are about to land, so I’m going to catch a ride to the airstrip in the car that’s scheduled to pick them up.”
“It could be some time before they ready the plane for departure.”
“I don’t mind waiting. But first, I’m going to say goodbye to Badya, then I’ll be going.”
“You are not concerned with traveling alone?”
Her smile threatened to break through his self-imposed fortress. “I’m sure it won’t be quite as pleasant as my trip here, but I’m not afraid of flying anymore. Thanks to you.”
A sudden spear of desperation hurled through Dharr. “Is there nothing I can say to convince you to stay?”
She hesitated for a moment before saying, “Obviously not. But there is something you can do for me. Kiss me goodbye.”
He wanted to refuse her, to keep up the façade of indifference. Yet when she moved into his arms, he was lost to her again. He touched his lips to hers, memorizing her taste, the soft heat of her mouth, knowing those memories would haunt him for a long time. For a lifetime.
Raina pulled away first and slipped the bag’s strap over her shoulder. “At least you have your room back now.”
But he did not have her, and that only fueled his discontent. What a fool he had been. Still, he did not want to leave her with angry words. “I will miss your company.”
“And I’ll miss your teasing, I think. If you’re ever in California, give me a call. I’d love to show you the beaches.” She nodded toward the painting over the fireplace. “If you ever feel the need to ditch that masterpiece, think of me, okay?”
He would think of her often. Every day. Every night. “Will you return in the near future?”
“Maybe someday.”
And perhaps someday he would be over her, although that did not seem likely. He considered voicing his feelings, considered telling her that he wanted her to stay, not for a few days but permanently. But if he remained silent, at least he would not have to hear that she wanted only her freedom. That she could not accept what he had to offer. That she could not accept him.
He touched her face once more. “Peace be with you, Raina.”
“And with you, Dharr Halim.”
Then she was out the door, leaving Dharr feeling utterly bereft.
He had no time to ponder what might have been. In a short while, he would need to be downstairs to welcome his parents home. In the meantime, he needed to return to his visitors. Duty took precedence over Raina’s sudden departure and the letter still clutched in his hand. He would not read it until much later, when he was once again alone.
Still, he needed a few more moments to regroup, to recover from the blow, then he would return downstairs. Collapsing into the chair near the window, he kept staring at the envelope. Kept wondering what she had said in a letter that she could not say to him in person. They had talked about so many things. He thought she trusted him. He had learned to trust her.
Unable to ignore his need to know, he tore open the envelope, withdrew the paper and began to read.
Dear Dharr,
I’ve never been all that good at verbally expressing my feelings except through my art, but since I can’t really draw you a picture, I decided to write down my thoughts.
My mother and father’s decision was only part of the reason why I needed to leave. The other has to do with you. I never intended to feel anything for you. Never intended to make love with you. And I definitely never planned to fall in love with you.
But I do love you, Dharr. I only wish I knew who caused you such pain that you’ve given up on love. I wish I could be the woman who heals you. If you’re reading this and you still let me go, then I know there is no hope for us. As I’ve said before, if you love someone, you fight with all that you have to keep them close. What better proof of true commitment.
Regardless of what you decide to do with this knowledge, I will still love you anyway, and always. Raina.
Dharr read the letter again, absorbing the words, a profound pain radiating from his pounding heart. She had presented him with the ultimate test, urging him to undertake a battle to win her back. He would walk through the fires of hell to do that very thing.
And he would, beginning now, before she walked onto the plane and out of his life.
Raina stared out the sedan’s window, her eyes clouded with tears she tried so hard to keep to herself. After she was alone on the plane, then she would cry all the way to California.
The sun was beginning to set over the mountains, washing the terrain in gold and reminding her of the night before in Dharr’s arms. At least she had that memory to see her through until she got over him. That could take years, or a lifetime.
For a minute she’d thought they’d entered some sort of dust storm, then she caught sight of the vehicle pulled alongside of the sedan and heard the blare of a horn. She sat up straight, fearing some highway bandit was trying to commandeer the car—until she recognized the driver.
What was Dharr doing there?
She had no time to question his unexpected appearance before the sedan pulled over and Dharr yanked open her door. “Come with me,” he told her as he clasped her hand and tugged her from the seat.
She stood in stunned silence while he tossed her bag into the
Jeep and told the driver in Arabic to retrieve his parents and tell them he would be detained indefinitely.
He held open the Jeep’s door and said, “Get in.”
On wooden legs, Raina complied and settled into the seat while Dharr got back behind the wheel and took off. He turned around in the middle of the road, pausing to allow a shepherd herding his sheep to cross the dirt thoroughfare. Then he was off again, leaving a blanket of dust in his wake.
“Dharr, the airport’s the other way.”
He kept his gaze trained on the road. “I know.”
“Where are you taking me?”
He still refused to look at her. “You will see.”
It didn’t take too long for Raina to realize exactly where they were going when Dharr navigated the back roads up the mountain. They arrived at Almase in record time, thanks to Dharr’s speed-demon driving. She had no idea why they were here but she hoped to find out soon. She wouldn’t allow herself to hope for more than that.
Rounding the hood in a rush, Dharr opened her door and led her once more to the place where they had made love. He turned her toward the valley, his arms wrapped around her from behind. “Azzril is a part of you, Raina. You belong here. It is your true home.”
“Sometimes I don’t feel like I have a home anymore.”
He turned her around to face him, his arms resting on her shoulders. “You do have a home here, with me.”
Hope niggled at her heart. “With you?”
“Yes. You must stay.”
“Why?”
“Because you are also a part of me now, as I am a part of you. We would both regret destroying that bond.”
Her hope grew stronger but she wasn’t quite ready to believe just yet. “Dharr, I’m not quite sure what you’re saying.”
He hesitated a moment, looking out over the valley before again turning his soulful eyes on her. “What I speak of now, I will not speak of again. There was a woman long ago, when I was at Harvard.”
“Elizabeth?”
“Yes. I was young and she was different from any woman I had known. We were very different. She was also my first real lover. She could not accept my culture, or my responsibility. She wanted nothing more than her freedom. She told me so in letter then left without saying goodbye.”
“And I did the same thing.”
“No, you said goodbye, and you also said something she never did, that you love me.”
“I do love you, but I’m still concerned because it appears you’ve never gotten over her.”
“I suppose I have mourned the loss for ten years, shielding myself from that pain. Now I realize that my loss was only felt so intensely because of my age. That losing her was not so great a loss after all. Yet if I lost you, that would be a loss greater than any I have ever experienced, because I have come to recognize that the love I feel for you is the love felt by a man, not a boy, for a remarkable woman. I realize now I was simply waiting for you.”
Raina swallowed a gasp. “You love me? Are you sure?”
He gently held her face in his strong hands, forcing her to look into his eyes. “In my life, there have been very few things of which I have been so certain. If you desire it, I will toss away my duty and position. I will give everything up for you. I will follow you wherever you wish me to go, as long as I am with you.”
Although shadows played across his features, she could still see the sincerity in his dark eyes, and the love she had been searching for. “You don’t have to give up anything, and neither do I. You’re right, Azzril is my home. And as they say, home is where the heart is, and mine’s definitely with you.” This time “they” were absolutely right.
“Then you will stay?”
She slipped her arms around his waist and smiled. “Yes. Does this mean I’m going to be a kept woman?”
“I hope you will be my wife.”
Her laugh sounded broken and shaky from another onslaught of tears trying to make their presence known. “You mean adhere to that silly marriage contract. Where do I sign?”
His own smile faded into a frown as he thumbed one rogue drop from her cheek. “You need not sign anything beyond an official document proving our marriage. What will bind us is our love for each other and nothing more.”
“I’m all for that. Does the offer still stand for me to teach art?”
“No.”
Raina saw the first real problem in their relationship. “I’ve worked most of my life, Dharr. I don’t intend to sit at the palace and plan social events twenty-four seven.”
“Nor do I want that from you. I do want you to be the director in charge of the children’s program at the museum. If you still wish to teach, that will be up to you.”
She held him close, buried her face against his shoulder, let the tears fall. Unrestrained tears of joy, of love without bounds. He kissed those tears away, then kissed her lips with an aching tenderness. When they finally parted, he sent her another smile. “You will be a revered queen.”
Standing on her tiptoes, she kissed his forehead, his cheeks, then his mouth. “Right now I want to be your revered lover, but I guess we really don’t have time since you need to get back to your guests. And I need to break the news to my parents that I’m staying for good.”
He began to release the buttons on her blouse. “We shall be fashionably late.”
Raina returned the favor by working Dharr’s buttons, as well. “What are our parents going to think?”
“Our fathers will be grateful, for when we return tonight, I will be escorting my future bride.”
Raina had made a beautiful bride. Even though several hours had passed since the wedding, Dharr was still remembering the vision of her walking down the aisle on her father’s arm. And following their vows, she had been on his arm, showing the world she was his.
At the moment, Dharr stood in the bedroom he now shared with his new wife, admiring the painting hanging over the fireplace—a man and a woman silhouetted against the desert night, the lights of the city providing the backdrop—replacing the nude he had sold to donate money for the children’s program. Raina had completed the masterpiece in less than a months’ time while deep into plans for the wedding. And Dharr had missed winning the wager by one week, though he did not care. As far as he was concerned, all three Harvard colleagues had won.
The celebration continued outside the palace, yet Dharr and Raina had excused themselves early. For the past hour, they had made up for time lost together due to their commitments, and their mothers’ determination to keep them apart until the wedding. However, they had managed to sneak away a few times in the middle of the night, returning to their favorite place to explore…each other.
“Are you coming back to bed now? I really need a good naked man to warm me up.”
Dharr turned to find Raina stretched out on the bed in a provocative pose, nude, a vision not easy to ignore. Yet when he glanced at the clock, he realized he would have to disregard his own need to return to her, at least for a while. “As much as I hate the thought of not coming back to bed, we are scheduled to make an appearance on the veranda in ten minutes.”
Her golden gaze raked over his equally nude body. “I dare you to go out there like that.”
When he started toward the glass doors, she bolted from the bed. “Dharr, I’m not serious.”
He turned and laughed. “Some day you will learn not to dare me unless you expect me to follow through.”
She grabbed for her dress laid out on the chair at the bedside and her underclothes from the floor where he had left them. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
Dharr put on his tuxedo and robes then the kaffiyeh while he watched her dress. He would take great pleasure in removing her clothing again, once he had performed his duty—introducing the future queen to the adoring subjects.
After they were presentable, he took her hand and led her to the entry to the balcony, but before they could proceed, she pulled him to a stop. “Are we going to have to do this eve
ry night?”
He grinned. “I certainly hope so. Several times if you are willing.”
She frowned. “I meant make an appearance.”
“Only tonight. And when we have our first child.”
After adjusting his collar, she patted his chest. “You know, my father mentioned that tonight. He wants to know when we’re going to give him that grandson, and I told him not to push his luck.”
“I prefer not to share you for at least a year, maybe two.”
She winked. “I won’t argue with that. I’d like to keep you in bed for at least that long.”
“And you will have no argument from me.” Leaving one arm around her, Dharr gestured toward the doors. “Shall we address the masses now, Princess Halim, so we might return to bed soon?”
“Why of course, Sheikh Halim. The sooner, the better.”
“Masses” proved to be an accurate assessment, Dharr realized when they stepped to the railing surrounding the veranda. Two guards emerged from the darkness and flanked them on both sides as the crowd began to cheer. He positioned Raina in front of him, his arms circled around her. She rested one palm on his joined hands and waved with the other while myriad cameras began to flash.
“Great. Now I’m blind,” she murmured.
He leaned close to ear. “When we go back inside, we need only to be able to feel our way over each other’s bodies.”
“And hopefully we won’t have some reporter climbing up the trellis to capture that on film.”
“I fear we will always have a certain amount of media attention. It is all a part of the life.”
“I know. I read the Los Angeles paper today. The article said, ‘California Girl Catches A Sheikh.’” She looked back at him. “Do you feel like you’ve been caught?”
“I feel I have been blessed.”
Without regard for their audience or the guards standing close by, without any prompting, he kissed her soundly, thoroughly, bringing about another resounding ovation.
Once they parted, Raina smiled. “You are so good at that.”
“Are you prepared to go back inside for more?”
