Oh, no, she was not going to think of Holt naked. “I don’t mind being called ‘hon,’ ” she said, taking his dare.
To her surprise a brief smile flitted across his face. “Good to know. What else don’t you mind?”
Okay, so he was better at the sexual dare game than she was, Kathryn conceded, knowing she was blushing. “I’ll tell you what I like. I like organization. And clarity. That’s why I make lists.”
He gave a quick nod. “Fair enough. But I’m not a list maker. I’m a doer.”
“You think I’m all talk and no action?” She stared at him pointedly. He stared right back. There it was again, that sudden heat, and the sun had nothing to do with it. Her comment about action felt as if it had sexual undertones, as if she was back to the dares when she was clearly way in over her head with a man as physical as Holt. “I just want to make this happen,” she said softly. “I think I’ve explained why.”
“You’re afraid that people will die.” His voice was emotionless but, for half a second, she saw something in his eyes that looked like...intense pain. When she had told Johanna that Holt had agreed to help her, the mayor had seemed relieved. She’d told Kathryn that Holt had lost his father and a good friend within a short span of time and that he had been with the friend when he died.
“Maybe no one will,” she said, not wanting to dredge up bad memories. “But it’s still important.” She told him about Ava, who couldn’t drive to Austin, and he nodded. He knew Ava. No surprise. Didn’t Holt know everyone?
He blew out a breath and looked to the side. “I’ve put a few things in motion. I’m working. Just don’t push too hard, Kathryn. I’m not malleable.”
If he hadn’t looked so frustrated, she might have laughed. Saying Holt wasn’t malleable was like saying that grass wasn’t purple. “What things?” she asked.
But at that moment, there was a lot of bawling. And yelling. Holt turned around and looked. So did Kathryn. Cowboys were swinging their hats. A calf had managed to get a good kick in. “I’ll be in touch,” he said.
Oh, no, he was dismissing her. Obviously he had to go. But she might never get near him again. She had to do something. “Wait!”
He turned back to her. And did as she asked. He waited.
“Are you okay?” He looked down at her stomach.
“I’m up here,” Kathryn said. “And I’m fine.” The man seemed very uncomfortable around her stomach, but she was so much more than a pregnant woman. At least she hoped so.
The bellowing in the background had faded and things were proceeding. “What exactly are you doing here today?” she asked.
“We’re vaccinating calves.”
“They don’t seem to like it.”
“It’s not their favorite thing, but then cows generally put eating at the top of their favorite things list. Everything else pales in comparison.”
“They’re cute,” she decided, seeing one trying to lick a butterfly off its nose.
Holt looped his thumbs in his belt loops and looked down at the ground, as if praying for patience. Kathryn realized that she was doing this all wrong. She was probably alienating Holt, not winning him to her side. But the darn man made it hard to think straight when he stood there looking so, so Holt-ish.
She probably should leave. Right now. But she didn’t.
CHAPTER FIVE
“EXCUSE me for a minute,” Holt told Kathryn. He waved his hat and Dave, one of his men, came running. Holt stepped aside and talked to Dave, who nodded and walked away. In just a few minutes Dave returned with an old black canvas director’s chair and a ragged umbrella he had fished out of someone’s truck.
Holt unfolded the chair and held out his hand to Kathryn. “I’d feel a lot more comfortable if you sat down,” he said. “And got out of the sun.”
She nodded. “If it will make you feel better and loosen your tongue.”
“It might.” It wouldn’t. He had never been much of a talker. It was one of his prime flaws, according to the women he had dated. It was definitely one of several reasons everything had gone so horribly wrong with Lilith and why he would never be a father. But he couldn’t think about that.
Kathryn sat.
“Don’t make the mistake of thinking these are puppies,” he said. “One of these calves could drag you if you tried to lead him. Besides, they’re not all that cute.” Which was a lie. Some of them were very cute. But he didn’t want her going all maternal on his animals and getting too close. Every cowboy had taken a few kicks. A pregnant woman couldn’t risk even one.
“I think they’re cute,” she insisted. “And that contraption...” She frowned.
“It’s a squeeze chute. We herd the calves through the pens, into the working chute and into the squeeze chute where they’re held immobile to keep everyone, including the calf, safe while we give the injection.”
“It looks like a torture device.” She really was a city girl.
He nearly smiled. “Actually, the calves find being held tight, but not too tight, comforting. If they have room to buck, they work themselves into a frenzy. The chute prevents that. And the injection is given subcutaneously, so it’s not in the muscle and is as painless as possible.”
“Interesting.”
He gave her a look of disbelief.
“No, I mean it. This is all new to me. I’ll have stories to tell my child.”
Stories. It reminded him of how Lilith, another city woman who had dropped into his life and dropped out again, had told him she’d once envisioned him as a romantic cowboy—but then he had disappointed her beyond belief.
He looked down at Kathryn. In her pale blue dress, she looked ethereal. With that wheat hair and those delicate arms curved around her stomach, she had angel written all over her.
The warnings that had been shooting through his brain ever since he’d first heard that Kathryn wanted his help intensified. He wasn’t made to commune with angels. Especially since earthbound women had told him that he was the devil.
He leaned forward, placing his palms on the slender arms of the chair, moving into her space.
“This isn’t a book, Kathryn. I’m not some romantic caricature of a cowboy. This is my life. It’s not yours. So what are you doing here?”
She closed her eyes. One second went by. Two. Then two more. This close to her, he was able to study her pale skin, her pink lips, her long eyelashes drifting down over her cheeks. He had no business noticing any of that.
Suddenly she opened her eyes and he nearly sucked in his breath. There was too much feeling shining from the depths of those eyes. That couldn’t be good.
“I’m here in Larkville because bad things happened and I ended my marriage, I had no work, I’m having a baby and I had nowhere to go. Until I find a job as an urban developer, I work three days at the clinic and moonlight at the newspaper. As for the rest, I’m not playing games, Holt. I’ve already explained to you how important this new clinic is. The town needs this, and I need the experience to help me win a position or else I’m going to end up destitute with no way to care for my baby. And yes, I really need your help, but I also need to be the driving force. So I made a plan and I make lists and apparently I’m making a nuisance out of myself.”
Her voice was low. There was passion in her eyes. He wanted to move closer. Much closer, and that would be a mistake.
He forced himself away from her. “Why do you need to be the driving force?”
She looked up at him. “I’ve been controlled by people all my life. Now I’m having a baby, and I can’t be that weak person who just gives in anymore. Besides, if I’m going to prove I deserve the kind of job I want, I have to be a commanding force.
“As for me being romantic, yes, I did have a crush on you in high school, but so did every girl. Besides, that girl I used to be is gone. I’ve already done the romance and marriage thing and it was a mistake I don’t want to repeat. Don’t worry.”
“I’m not worried. But I meant what I said. I’m not good partner material.
Of any kind. Not romantic. Not otherwise. I have good employees here at the ranch, but there’s a hierarchy.”
“There won’t be a hierarchy with us.”
He crossed his arms.
She placed her hands on the chair and stood. Then she crossed her arms, too. “You can’t scare me, Holt. I’ve been scared all my life. Now I’m through with that. And if you want to get rid of me quickly, which I can see you do, then the sooner we get started, the better. I have résumés out all over the country and I’m hoping something turns up soon, but that just means I need to work more quickly on the clinic. Besides, I’m on a bit of a deadline.” She smiled down at her stomach.
He blew out a breath and tried not to think about the baby. His chest went tight and he found it difficult to breathe when he thought about babies. Everything hurt, and he wanted to pound his fists into a wall when the subject came up. The fact that Kathryn was pregnant definitely made this whole situation so much worse than it would be otherwise. And the fact that she was so mouthy?
It made him want to kiss that mouth closed.
He scowled.
“Stop frowning at me and give in to the inevitable,” she said. “The sooner you do what I want, the sooner I’ll go away.”
“You know, somehow I don’t remember you being this annoying, Kathryn.”
To his surprise, she laughed. “You don’t remember me at all, do you?”
“A little. You had big eyes and you were very...”
“Intense. I was intense.”
“Wistful. And thin. As if a puff of wind would blow you away.”
“Well, that certainly won’t happen now, will it?”
“You’re not exactly a giant.” He couldn’t help smiling.
“I’m big enough.” Somehow he didn’t think she was talking about physical size.
“All right, I’ll be more cooperative, and I won’t ignore your emails and phone calls. And lists. What exactly do you want?”
“For one thing, I want your assurance that you’ll be at the town meeting.”
“Town meeting?”
She drew a folded-up piece of paper out of her purse. He looked at it.
“It’s not my best work,” she admitted, gesturing toward the paper announcing that there would be a meeting at the community center on Friday to discuss the clinic. “But when I discovered that we could use the community center Friday and that I could use the mayor’s copier, I wanted to get the announcements out right away. I’ve placed them in every shop and public building.”
A note of uncertainty slipped into her voice as he stared at the pristine and very professionally worded bit of paper.
“I’m a little nervous,” she said. “When I lived here before, I didn’t get to know anyone well. What if people think I’m some city girl overstepping my boundaries? A lot of the people who need the doctor the most are the older ones, but they might not show up at the meeting. For that matter, the younger ones might not, either. This isn’t exactly an exciting topic. What if no one comes?”
Holt frowned. He wanted to go back to two weeks ago when he knew Kathryn only as some hazy memory. Now he knew she had a history and fears and a sense of responsibility. She was set on helping Larkville, and the Double Bar C was wedded to the town.
“They’ll come,” he promised. “And yes, I’ll come.”
“Thank you.”
“For agreeing to go to the meeting?”
“And for the lesson on calf vaccination.”
He smiled, but as he turned to go, his smile disappeared. She had one hand on her back.
“You’re doing it again,” he said.
She turned back. “What?”
“Your back? I know you’re pregnant, but does this happen often?”
“More often lately, because, well, I’m bigger and it’s a bit of a strain. It’s nothing.”
But after his father and Hank, he knew how nothing could turn into something. “Wes,” he called, and Wes Brogan, who was the foreman of the Double Bar C, looked up. “Finish up without me, all right?”
“Not a problem, Holt.”
“What do you think you’re doing?” Kathryn asked as Holt took her by the elbow and started to lead her toward his truck. He tried not to notice her soft skin beneath his fingertips.
“I don’t think you should drive. I especially don’t think you should drive that thing you’ve been driving. I’ve
seen it.”
“I’m fine.”
Holt counted to ten in his thoughts. “Okay, you’re fine. Humor me, darlin’. I just agreed to come to your meeting and I’m all kinds of cranky about that. Those color-coded little lists of yours put me in a bad mood. I’m especially not partial to pink.” He made sure his tone was teasing, but he didn’t let go of her.
“Are you...are you making fun of me?” she asked as she moved with him. She looked down at where his hand was firmly around her arm. For a second she stumbled.
He caught her more firmly to him, even though that meant she was now wedged up against him and he could feel the curve of her hip. Holt wanted to groan.
Instead, he turned and grinned at her. “Make fun of you? I’d never do that, darlin’.”
“Stop that.”
“Stop what?” He kept moving her toward his truck.
“Stop doing that sexy cowboy thing. I told you I’m not into cowboys anymore.”
“That you did, and I assured you that while you are one very attractive woman, I’m not into relationships, either. On the other hand, I would never forgive myself if I let you drive down some lonesome road in that car and you got stuck out there alone. But I could see you were going to be kind of stubborn about the car and not easy to lead at all. Kind of like those calves.”
“A calf?”
Oh, good, she was mad. They were nearly to the truck.
“Only in temperament, you understand. You’re a thousand times prettier than a calf. The point is that sometimes the only way to lead a calf is to distract it, even agitate it, and since the last thing you want is a cowboy, I figured that teasing you a bit might get you to be a bit more amenable to me calling the shots on this one thing.”
She opened her mouth, no doubt to protest. He leaned closer. She was up against his truck now. He placed both hands on either side of her on the frame of the vehicle. “Get in the truck, Kathryn,” he urged. “I know you don’t want this, but I have limits. One of those limits is letting people get hurt.”
And that was when his teasing ended, because he’d meant every word. “You’re in pain. Your car isn’t dependable. If you got hurt, it would be on my head. I’m driving you home, all right?”
She shut her mouth and nodded. Her movement sent her body brushing against his, and he wanted nothing more than to touch her. Instead, he forced himself to step away.
“Okay,” she agreed quietly. “But if you ever compare me to a calf again, I will go onto the internet and tell the world that you are the least romantic cowboy ever.”
Holt couldn’t help himself then. He chuckled. “It’s a deal, Kathryn.” And that was how Holt ended up driving Kathryn all the way back to town.
“I’ll have someone deliver your car to you later,” he said. “After you see the doctor.”
She turned toward him.
“Right,” he said. “No doctor in town today. Austin
it is.”
She shook her head vehemently. “I don’t need Austin. I’ve studied all the books. This pain is uncomfortable, but it’s not labor. I’m just having Braxton Hicks. False labor. It will stop.”
He swore, all traces of teasing gone.
She winced. “Sorry,” she said when he looked at her. “Not a big fan of swearing. I’ve heard a lot of it.”
“Want to explain that?”
“No. It’s different with you. Cowboys probably swear a lot.”
He smiled slightly. “They might.” Then he drove on in silence. They were almost to town when he asked the question that had been bugging him.
“How do you know it’s not real labor?”
“Timing. The pain’s not regular enough. That’s the benefit of working for a doctor. Dr. Cooper keeps up a running commentary. Knowing I’m not close to a hospital, he’s made sure I know what to expect and when I need to get to the hospital. It’s not yet.”
“You still have two weeks?”
“That’s the estimated due date.”
“Estimated?”
“Could be later. It’s my first.”
He felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders. “Later? Good.”
He noticed that she didn’t look directly at him. How certain was she about the timing of her due date? It really wasn’t his business, was it? None of this was. But...
“So, you’re sure you’re safe?” he couldn’t seem to stop himself from asking.
“You won’t have to deliver my baby.”
He swiveled his head to stare her down. She had the good grace to look guilty. “I’m joking, okay?”
He still felt like hell.
“Holt?”
“Okay,” he agreed, but he knew he sounded grumpy.
“I’m really sorry I made light of you having to deliver my baby. I know that wouldn’t top your list of things
to do.”
“I’m fine.”
Which was a bald-faced lie. Despite his teasing her earlier, he wasn’t fine. He’d spent a lifetime learning the merits of levelheadedness, measuring his words, keeping his thoughts to himself, never letting himself be ruled by emotion. His parents’ situation had been a good example of why those were handy lessons and he’d learned them well. In fact, he’d pretty much had the emotion weaned out of him, and he knew he’d hurt women who had expected what he couldn’t provide.
As for Lilith, she’d grown to hate him for not having been that romantic cowboy figure she’d wanted. When she’d gotten pregnant despite taking precautions, she hadn’t even told him. Instead, she’d made arrangements to give their baby away. And when he found out...things had gotten so much worse. Hellish. Then, just when he’d settled back to concentrating only on the one thing that never made him feel out of step—the ranch—Kathryn had showed up. Suddenly he was back to staring all his deficiencies in the face, being on his guard. Here was another pregnant woman thinking he was more than he really was.
The Rancher's Unexpected Family Page 5
