by Connie Cox
She rubbed her hands down her arms to rub away the prickles that danced along her skin.
She swallowed. “Hey back at ya.” It was throaty, husky and entirely not what she had intended.
He had her chair decked out with a couple of thick towels and a bottle of oil with an expensive label she recognized from the spa on deck three.
He stood and indicated the lounge chair. “Madam, your masseur awaits your pleasure.” With an exaggerated leer he rubbed his hands together then cracked his knuckles.
Before she could lose her nerve, she whipped off her top. “Just remember, you’re a cabana boy tonight, not a chiropractor.”
She thought about lying prone, but that seemed too intimate so she straddled the lounger instead. “So I can watch the sunset,” she explained. So I won’t feel so vulnerable, she admitted to herself.
“Okay.” He swung his leg over to straddle the lounger behind her, thigh to thigh. “I like exploring new positions.”
Annalise was too busy reacting to the sizzle along her nerve endings to think of a retort. I want this, she reminded herself.
At the first touch of his palms on her shoulders, her apprehension made her shiver.
“Relax,” he crooned into her ear, which made her feel anything but relaxed.
His hands, slick with fragrant oil, slid along her shoulders until this thumbs found the knot at the base of her neck. With the right amount of firmness and gentleness, he made circular motions to get her shoulders to loosen.
Annalise tried to concentrate on the sunset instead of the man who sat inches behind her.
His hands stilled. “Okay?”
She wanted to be okay. With every cell of her body she wanted to want this, to enjoy this, to want more.
“Annalise?” It was a question wrapped in a worry.
A noisy crowd of five people scrambled onto the deck she’d foolishly begun to think of as their private nirvana.
She had a sinking feeling at the relief she felt to be interrupted.
“I— We...” What should she say? Sorry? Maybe next time? I wish things could be different?
“Look at me!” One of the intruders stood at the rail and held out her arms. “It’s like I’m flying.”
The others gave it a try, cackling with laughter and spilling drinks in the process.
Niko dropped his hands and blew out a sigh as Annalise leaned forward to grab for her shirt.
She pulled it on, grimacing when the back stuck to the oil on her skin.
Niko sat motionless behind her. She couldn’t even feel him breathe.
Without a glance she got up and headed downstairs, down to her cabin with no windows, down to her dark little hidey-hole that kept the world locked out—but kept her locked in.
For the first time in years she cried into her pillow. Long, ragged, ugly sobs for all that had happened to her and who she wanted to be.
With her throat too swollen and sore to cry anymore, she made up her mind. She would not be a victim for the rest of her life.
Many hours later, as she lay in bed, reliving the scene over and over again, she kept up her litany, praying it wasn’t falling on deaf ears. Please. Another chance.
CHAPTER NINE
NOT ALL PRAYERS were answered.
Her patient load was extraordinarily heavy with barely breathing room. Between shifts, Annalise tried to casually run into Niko but could never find him. She even made a point to look for the Christopoulos clan at their family dinner, even though she dreaded facing the lot of them. All that family happiness only contrasted with her own sad situation, reminding her how different she and Niko were. But her need for Niko overcame her unease.
She found out from their waiter that her courage was for naught. Apparently, they’d all decided to forgo formal dining in favor of an early picnic by the wave pool.
That evening, she sat alone on the top deck, watching a sunset obscured by stormclouds. Today was only the beginning of much rougher seas ahead.
Was Niko avoiding her? Of course he was. She couldn’t blame him. He must think her the most fickle female on the planet.
But the next evening found her on the top deck once again, hoping. Praying.
After all, what better did she have do to and where better did she have to go?
* * *
Niko called himself all kinds of a fool as he climbed the stairs to the top deck. Some things just weren’t meant to be so why was he trying so hard?
Because he couldn’t get her out of his head.
He clenched his fists, remembering the feel of her skin under his palms. The energy that radiated through her into him made him feel so buzzed, so alive.
But she could turn it off faster than any woman he’d ever met. Maybe it was his imagination, but when she looked at him he thought he saw a wistfulness in her eyes. And he wanted to—had to—give her whatever it was she wanted. Because he wouldn’t be complete until she was.
Niko rubbed at his eyes, trying to rub away that fanciful thought. With any other woman he would have walked away by now. But there was something—something that had him coming back to her.
He didn’t know if that something was in her or in him. All he knew was that he was climbing these stairs because he couldn’t think of any other place he would be okay about being in right now.
“Hey,” she offered cautiously.
“Hey back at you.” He set down between them the two cups of hot tea he’d brought up.
“Busy morning?” he asked.
“And booked until late afternoon, too. They come in—”
“Waves.” He finished her sentence for her. “It happens that way, doesn’t it? Biorhythms or something.”
“I always blame it on moon phases.” The conversation felt stilted, but at least they were talking.
She watched him add three packets of sugar to his tea. “Not sweet enough?”
He held up the cup. “Bitter. It steeped too long. But enough sweetener can fix anything.”
Could she be fixed with enough sweetener? She hoped so. “I heard the Christopoulos boys closed the bar down last night.” She’d heard it from Brandy at yoga that morning. She’d also heard Niko had turned down quite a few offers of female company before moving to the sports section of the bar to watch football with his brothers instead.
“We won.” He hoisted his cup. “Go, Tigers. But, then, I think I cheered them on one too many times last night.”
She grinned at his hesitant hurrah. “You’re on vacation. You’re supposed to be having fun.”
Vacation. The fun wouldn’t last for ever. And hers might be over before it even began if she didn’t take action.
“I’ve had fun. I’ve especially enjoyed the ship’s medical services. The cruise line employs a very fine doctor.”
“Compliment accepted.” She sipped her tea.
“I have to admit, though, while I’ve enjoyed my time aboard ship, I’ll be glad to make our first port. I didn’t realize these transatlantic cruises had so much sea time up front.” Niko took a sip of tea and winced. “Only two more days, right?”
“Yes. Two more days until our first port of call, Isle de Paridisio.”
“You’ve been there?”
“A few times.”
He took a sip of tea. “At least I’ve got it drinkable.”
“You could have always got another cup.”
“I like this one just fine.” He stared out at the ocean. “I know my family is a handful, but we would love to have you join us.”
This was the opportunity she’d asked for. The one she’d prayed for. A second chance for her. She needed this so much. Such a double-edged sword.
“I’m sorry. I can’t.” Turning him down was one of the hardest decisions she’d
ever made.
The ill and injured of Isle de Paridisio needed her more.
The cruise line fully supported staff volunteering at the various ports of call, often matching private donations and giving away tons of food to the shelters.
Annalise always offered her assistance to any of the medical clinics along the cruise ship’s routes. So many of these tropical paradises had beautiful tourist resorts as a thin veneer over the destitution of the rest of the island.
During their stopover at Isle de Paradisio, the youth directors would visit a local orphanage to donate books and clothing and the kitchen chefs would donate food. Other staff would help, too.
Annalise would head to the refugee camp. So many refugees traversed the Mediterranean, making it only this far, with nothing but their lives to call their own.
She had medicine to deliver, donated by New Orleans charities, and she would lend a hand where she could while she was on the island.
The beeper on her hip buzzed. She squinted in the failing light to read the code, seeing that it signaled an immediate emergency.
“I’ve got to go.”
“Of course. Duty calls. Been there. Done that.” His mouth twisted into a wry smile. “Maybe later.”
* * *
“Wake up, sweetie. Wake up for Yiayia.” Hearing those ominous words float down the hallway of the medical suite, Annalise’s heart sank like a stone and she picked up her fast walk to an all-out run.
There was Sophie, lying limp in her Uncle Stephen’s arms.
Her other uncle, all her aunts and her cousins surrounded her. If love could fix her, she would be the healthiest little girl on the planet. Sadly, juvenile diabetes had no cure.
Her clothes were urine-soaked. Her little arm felt cold and clammy and her breathing was so slow as to be barely detectable.
“Did she vomit?”
The whole family started talking at once, but the general gist was that they didn’t think so.
Annalise spotted Marcus. “Get your Uncle Niko. He’s on the upper foredeck.”
She would need him to run interference with his family as she helped the little girl.
“Bring her in,” she directed Stephen, and pointed to the nearest exam table. “Where’s her meter?”
Phoebe pulled it from her tote along with the notebook.
Annalise pricked Sophie’s finger and the meter evaluated Sophie’s blood-sugar level.
It was dangerously high.
Sophie’s endocrinologist had warned Annalise that trying to balance blood sugar was more of a gut feeling than an exact formula. Drawing on her healer’s instinct, Annalise grabbed a vial of fast-acting insulin and checked the charts. She filled a syringe conservatively and gave Sophie the injection. Now the wait.
Meanwhile, she wrapped a rubber tourniquet around Sophie’s arm, trying to find a vein so she could draw a blood sample from her dehydrated little body.
Vaguely, she was aware of Niko herding out his well-meaning family members.
“Find out what happened,” Annalise threw over her shoulder as she prepared to prick the vein.
Sophie fluttered her eyelids and feebly tried to move her arm away. “No. Don’t.”
It was a sleepy response, but still a response.
“Be brave, little one,” Annalise murmured. Niko’s big, strong hand came into view, gently holding Sophie’s tiny arm still.
Sophie opened her eyes. “Uncle Niko?”
“I’m here for you, Sophie.”
“I’m taking this to the lab. Stay with her, okay?” Annalise put the sample in the analyzer then rejoined them while the machine did its work.
Sophie’s spark of defiance had been short-lived as she now lay still once again.
“What’s the scoop, Niko?”
“Her aunt had given her permission to get a banana from the fruit bar. Apparently, Sophie figured out how to use the ice-cream machine next to it by herself. A helpful passenger boosted her up when she was too short to reach it. That inspired a binge. One of her cousins tattled and they found Sophie hiding under a dining-room table with a tray full of cookies and donuts and brownies. By the time they found her, it was too late to prevent this.”
She handed Niko a water bottle. “Get her to drink as much as you can.”
Annalise checked her watch. Almost twenty minutes.
This time Sophie protested the meter prick, which was as good a sign of her recovery as the blood-sugar level, which was slowly edging downwards. She gave Sophie and Niko a reassuring smile. “We’re getting there.”
The lab analyzer beeped and Annalise read the results.
Showing them to Niko, she pointed to the potassium levels. “Looks like we’re okay here.”
“Thank God.” Niko bent down and placed a kiss on his niece’s forehead. “I should have been there. I promised my brother I would watch over her.”
“No, Niko. Stop it.” Annalise hesitated, then touched his shoulder. “Your family is saying the same thing. But they’re only human. Do you blame them?”
“Of course not.”
“Then don’t blame yourself either.”
He scrubbed his hand through his hair. “Little kids should be able to sneak an occasional ice-cream cone. They shouldn’t have to get injections three times a day the rest of their lives. It’s not fair.”
“You, of all people, with all you’ve seen, all you’ve done, know that life’s not fair and bad things happen. We do what we can to pick up the pieces and go on.”
Niko looked into her eyes, searching—for what? Sincerity? Truth? She had that in spades.
Acceptance that they had to make peace with the unfairness of the world? No. She couldn’t give him that.
“You understand, don’t you?” He ran his finger down her cheek. “You understand the frustration of not being able to make everything all right.”
She nodded. “I understand.”
On the table, Sophie stirred. Her face screwed up in a scowl. “I’m wet. Who threw water on me?” She sniffed. “Somebody peed on me.”
Niko shook his head. “You had an uh-oh, little one.”
“I’m not a baby. I don’t wet my pants.” But the embarrassment in her face showed she understood that she had. To cover up, she pawed at the bandage taped to her arm, where Annalise had taken her blood sample. “This hurts.”
Niko and Annalise both grinned at her irritability, a good sign of her recovery.
Niko raised an eyebrow at her. “This happened because of the ice cream and the cookies and the donuts, Sophie.” He said it gently but firmly.
Annalise knew him well enough to know it was breaking his heart to deliver this lesson.
“But Phillip got some.”
“You have to be more careful than Phillip. He doesn’t get sick when he eats too much sugary food but you do.”
“It’s not fair.”
Niko shrugged, a studied, calculated movement by the stiffness of his shoulders. “But that’s the way it is.”
Annalise did one more blood-sugar test, pricking Sophie’s finger with the meter before she could protest. As Sophie glared at her, Annalise read the meter and found the level becoming more satisfactory.
She documented everything in Sophie’s notebook and then wrote down her instructions. “We should be seeing normal readings in about another hour and a half. If not, call me. I’d do a check every hour for the next three hours or so. Then every two hours so both of you can get some sleep. Watch for it to swing. Going too low can look like sleep and be a coma instead. But, then, you know that, right?”
“It’s different when the patient is family.” Niko rubbed his hand across his face. “I appreciate your instructions. They help me keep my head on straight.”
Not having family to s
peak of, Annalise wouldn’t know that. “Call me if the levels are out of this range.”
She wrote down the numbers in the notebook. “I can’t recommend sleeping in. Keep her on her morning schedule of insulin and breakfast. Maybe a nap during the day. Come and see me tomorrow afternoon and we’ll do a blood test to double-check that potassium level. Until then, no bananas and no tomatoes.” She made herself look into Sophie’s sad, angry eyes. “And no ice cream or cookies or brownies.”
As tears welled in Sophie’s eyes, Annalise steeled herself to keep from joining her. Niko put his hand on Annalise’s shoulder and squeezed, comforting her.
Life was unfair but she would do what she could when she could. Perhaps someday she would learn to be content with that.
Until then it was nice to know that someone in the world understood.
CHAPTER TEN
IT HAD BEEN a long, sleepless night.
After assuring himself that Sophie’s blood sugar had stabilized and that she had more than enough family members surrounding her, Niko spent the morning drifting in and out of sleep on deck.
Helena kept him company. Or rather she used him to keep a would-be paparazzo at bay. Somehow the man had figured out who Helena’s rich ex-husband was and had been trying to interview her about their divorce ever since last night.
Niko didn’t mind. Helena was comfortable with long silences. When they did converse, she was intelligent and well read. Her ex was a fool and he told her so.
And when the waves picked up, the nosy man, along with most of the passengers, retired to the interior of the ship, where the rocking didn’t seem as pronounced if they couldn’t see the splash.
Which left Niko pleasantly alone except for Helena but left Annalise incredibly busy. Which might be just as well.
They had shared moments, special moments that came from deep inside him, when she’d asked about his work with Doctors Without Borders, when they’d talked of his childhood and how important his family was to him, when they’d taken care of Sophie.
But maybe those moments had only been precious to him. Looking back, Niko realized that Annalise had dodged any questions about her own life before she’d become a cruise ship doctor. Had he forgotten his own rule? The one about shipboard romances?
