by Odette Stone
He dropped his gaze to my face. “I bet.”
“My granny was no slouch in the financial department either,” I said with misery in my voice. This was the moment I dreaded. Once people realized how much more I had than they did, things always got weird. Resentment reared up. Or worse, people started to suck up.
“Well shit, you should have told me sooner.”
My eyes flew to his face. “Why?”
A smile played on his lips. “I would have gone for the $500 one that had the timer and the grinder.”
I laughed in relief. We stood there smiling at each other.
“People get weird about that stuff,” I admitted.
He stood there for a long moment staring off at some distant point. It was almost as if he didn’t hear. Just when I thought the conversation was dead, he said, “The money?”
“Yeah.”
He shrugged and looked me in the eye. “Fuck em.”
“Is that your life motto?”
“Pretty much.”
“Does it work?”
“Most of the time.”
I sighed. “It must be nice to not care what anyone thinks.”
“I never said everyone. I still care about the opinions of a few.”
My eyes went wide. I wanted more than anything to ask whose opinion he cared about, but at that moment the clerk choose to greet me with a big smile.
Chapter 10
We walked through the mall. As I tried to think of a way to bring Jackson back to telling me about whose opinion mattered to him a voice squealed from behind me.
“Emily?”
I spun around to see Julie standing there, her eyes wide. Today she looked gorgeous with her cute green jacket and windswept dark hair.
“Julie,” I smiled as we hugged. “So good to see you.”
“You too,” her eyes were wide on Jackson’s face. “Oh my gosh. What are the odds?”
“Julie, this is Jackson. He’s a family friend who’s staying with us until the wedding. Jackson, this is Julie, one of my friends from university.”
I watched as they shook hands.
“Pleased to meet you,” Jackson’s voice rumbled low.
Julie’s eyes fluttered. “The pleasure is all mine.”
She turned back to me, her eyes wide. She was sending me a message I recognized. She wanted me to be her wing woman. “Sweetie, it has been way too long. Seriously. Come now, we need to get together.”
I glanced up at Jackson who had zero expression on his face. “I know, I'm so sorry, this wedding has been taking up all my time.”
A complete lie unless you counted stressing about something and not taking action as good reason for being busy.
“I still can’t believe you're getting married before me, how’s that even possible?” She shook her head with a teasing smile. “How’s the wedding planning going?”
I sighed. “Slowly. We ordered the invitations today.”
“We?” She raised her eyebrows.
“Jackson helped.”
Her smiled widened up at him. “You don’t look like a typical wedding planner.”
“Jackson introduced me to the process of elimination. It is very effective.”
“I can’t wait to see what you both chose.” Her laugh was louder than normal. “Are you bringing a plus one to the wedding, Jackson?”
I blinked at her brazen approach. Julie had no fear when it came to men.
“Not currently attached.”
She beamed at Jackson and then turned to me. “The four of us should get together for dinner.”
The last thing I wanted was to spend the evening watching Julie bust her moves on Jackson. I nodded. “Okay. Should I make a reservation somewhere?”
“Why don’t you cook for us? Not all of us are swimming in money like you.”
I had no idea why she said that. Julie never paid for a single restaurant meal when we ate out together. I always picked up the bill. “Okay. I don’t mind cooking.”
“Perfect, I'll bring the wine.”
Julie bestowed Jackson with a beautiful smile and tossed her brunette hair over her shoulder. “How long are you in town for?”
He glanced at my face. “Twelve weeks.”
“Are you here on vacation?”
“Something like that.”
“Well, I can’t wait to hear more about this something,” she flirted, batting her eyelashes. I gritted my teeth together. I recognized Julie’s signature moves. Normally they didn’t bother me, but today annoyance trickled through my veins.
My voice sounded thick to my own ears. “Great. How about Saturday night?”
Jackson glanced down at me. I feared he was reading my flaky tone.
“Perfect.” She beamed another megawatt smile towards Jackson.
“Great,” I repeated, struggling to keep the displeasure out of my voice. “How about 7 PM?”
“Love it,” she had eyes only for Jackson.
“Well, we should be going,” I hedged. “I’ve taken up enough of Jackson’s time today.”
“Okay,” she cooed as she pulled me into another hug. Her voice changed as she whispered in my ear. “If you tell anyone else about him, I'll seriously kill you. He's mine, okay?”
I pulled back, and worked to keep the shock off my face. “Uh okay.”
“Bye,” her eyes clung to Jackson, before she turned and sashayed off.
***
Jackson and I continued to walk through the mall, this time in silence. I fumed over Julie’s last comment. That exchange had pissed me off. She wasn’t allowed to call dibs on Jackson just because she saw him first. I bristled at her rude assumptions. She always did this. She found someone she liked and declared it to the world so that no one could make a move. But did that ever stop her when someone else liked a guy? I remember actively hiding my crushes from her in University because the moment she found out who I liked, it seemed like she inevitable found a way to date the guy. She would give me a sympathetic look and say, “It just happened. We couldn’t help ourselves.” Julie was never to be trusted when it came to men. I didn’t actually tell her Matt’s name or introduce them when we first started to date. It wasn’t until we got engaged that I actually let them meet.
What did it matter to me that she wanted to get her little man claws into Jackson? Was it really any of my business? Who was I to try and prevent that?
“You okay?” Jackson asked. I worked to keep pace with his long easy strides.
“Yes, why?” I huffed. Julie gobbled up men like they were going out of style. Matt called her a man-eater.
“Is she a close friend of yours?”
Air puffed out of my lungs. “Yes.”
“She upset you.”
I refused to look up at him. “They teach you to read minds in the Navy SEAL program?”
“You’ve adjusted the zip on your jacket four times, your lips are moving but you’re not speaking. They teach us how to read body language and I would say that you're seriously agitated.”
I stopped walking and he turned and stopped too.
“I hate you right now,” I said without feeling.
He half-smiled. “I like to fix stuff.”
“Like my car?”
“And other stuff.”
“I’m unfixable,” I said. A hollowness carved out my chest. I hated my emotional response to the idea of Julie and Jackson. It occurred to me that I was a terrible partner to Matt. I allowed myself to notice how thick Jackson’s forearms were and how soft his hair looked which was the ultimate betrayal to my fiancé. I deserved my misery.
“Come on,” he said. “We need something to cheer you up.”
“I'm un-cheerable.”
He laughed. “I love the drama queen act. And I would kill to know what just happened.”
“Nothing.”
I started walking. He matched his easy gait to mine.
“So is this a set up?”
Again, my teeth started to grind. “Why would you
say that?”
“Just a question.”
“Julie is sophisticated and she’s single.”
My words hung between us.
“Okay.”
I worked to not grab the coffee maker out of his hands and toss it on the ground. “Okay.”
We walked again in silence.
“Kind of a lot of pressure, don’t you think?” he said. A smile teased his voice.
“Totally,” I said. “I thought so too.”
“Do you think I can handle it?”
“I think it is rude of me to make you try.”
“Huh.”
“An intimate dinner party is too much.” My mind whirled.
“You think?”
“So I think I should have a party instead. I'll invite a lot of people.”
My eyes locked on his face. An enigmatic expression reflected back on me. “Okay.”
“Okay.”
We walked outside to the truck. He put the coffee maker in the back behind my seat and then turned around and looked at me, blocking my path into the truck. “So, is that what upset you?”
I stared up at him, my heart pumped in my chest. “What?”
“The fact that Julie wanted you to set me up with her?”
“No!” I sputtered, unable to think of a quick response. I avoided his gaze. I envisioned her slender arms wrapped around that thick neck. My stomach burned. I wanted to rage when I imagined him leading her up to his guest room for an overnight stay. My emotional response was disturbing. This was Jackson, my fiancé’s childhood friend. Desperation stabbed me, as I drowned in these swirling dark feelings. Shame flooded me too.
“So you would be okay if I dated your friend?” he brought me out of my thoughts.
My gaze clashed with his. His words stabbed my heart. I imagined her tall and willowy body snuggled up to his massively strong frame. Ringing sounded in my ears.
I swallowed. “You can do what you want.”
He hesitated. “I can’t always do what I want.”
I struggled to keep my breath even. He regarded me with his green gaze, making me feel like he could read everything I was feeling. I felt naked and exposed. I needed to remember that I was engaged. I loved someone else. I felt like I had this monstrous thing growing inside of me, spinning me out of control. I hated it.
My voice wavered. “Me either.”
He reached out. Big hands wrapped around my waist and then I was being lifted onto the passenger seat. My breath slammed into my lungs.
“You don’t have to do that anymore. I'm not wearing a skirt.”
He looked at me. “I just like how little you feel.”
Then he shut the door.
Chapter 11
In the coming week, Jackson and I fell into an easy routine. He woke up early every morning to work out. When I came downstairs, he was already making me breakfast.
I would spend the mornings painting or working at the gallery, while he worked on my car or disappeared to one of his standing appointments at the hospital. He never talked about his treatments nor did I. I was worried that something was seriously wrong with him, but I refused to ask. He was fiercely private about it, often not even telling me where he was going.
After lunch, we always ran some sort of errand together. With my car still in pieces, he acted as my chauffeur and I used him shamelessly in helping me plan my wedding. Jackson was decisive, pragmatic and extremely good at coaxing decisions out of me.
Despite the fact that he was stupidly good looking, he was actually a lot of fun. He teased me into making decisions. We talked about safe subjects like art and travel. He told me little about himself but still we seemed to have found our rhythm. He was actually really nice and for the first time in a long time, I didn’t feel lonely. It didn’t matter when Matt didn’t come home for dinner because Jackson was usually there. Sometimes we watched TV together. Sometimes he worked on my car and I sat on the steps and hung out. It was easy and he kept his flirting to a minimum. Sometimes he teased me, which made me blush, but mostly he was pretty good about just treating me like a kid sister. Although Jackson was extremely honest, he wasn’t very forthcoming about was himself. Despite his obvious reluctance to share, I did my best to ferret information out of him.
***
One night, we stood in the kitchen cooking dinner together.
“So, Matt told me about this fight you were in during elementary school.”
He glanced over at me, and then focused his attention back to the salad he was making. “Sounds like me.”
“You don’t remember? Matt said you took on all these older boys and you didn’t back down and you ended up in the hospital with a bruised kidney.”
He momentarily stopped chopping. “Not sure.”
“How can you not remember this?”
“Ted and I shared many visits to the hospital, so it doesn’t stand out.”
“Matt said there were half a dozen boys and they were all bigger than you, but you refused to back down.”
A smile traced on his mouth. “Yup, then that was me.”
I turned to face him and crossed my arms. “Why do you do that?”
“Do what?”
“Not back down. Matt said he ran to the recess lady but you stayed to fight even though you were out numbered.”
He glanced at me, his expression one of curiosity. His question was genuine. “Why would I back down?”
“Because you could get hurt!”
“That isn’t a reason to back down from a fight.”
“Why fight at all?”
“I never start fights. I just finish them.”
I stood there thinking for a long moment. “Why did you have so many visits to the hospital?”
He continued to chop his tomato without speaking. I waited. Finally I was rewarded with an answer. “Ted was a drunk. Either he was getting hurt or he was hurting me. Hospitals were avoided but sometimes they were necessary.”
I tried to hide my dismay over his words. Ted had hurt Jackson. This was the reason that Jackson had spent time with Matt’s family. The man he lived with had hurt him. And Matt’s parents had saved him.
“How were you hurt?”
His face concentrated as he remembered. “Broken leg, broken sternum, broken arms, broken collar bone…but only when he could catch me.”
I froze. “And when he did?”
“He generally just punched, but when he kicked, that’s when my bones got broken.”
I covered my mouth with my hand. “Jackson.”
I couldn’t imagine being a small child and being constantly hurt by the one who was supposed to protect and love you. How did a person’s soul survive such a travesty? Is this where his will to fight back came from? His determination to protect others? My heart ached for the little boy who was alone with an abusive alcoholic man who rained down on him with his fists and kicks, hurting him to the point that his bones broke. The images I conjured in my mind were almost bringing me to tears. How alone he must have felt. The fear and pain he must have endured ripped at my heart.
He moved to put the salad into the fridge. “Did Matt say he was coming home tonight?”
“How did the doctors not know you were being abused?”
He started to walk out of the kitchen. “They knew. They called the cops.”
I followed. “Matt’s dad.”
“Yup.” His voice remained even. “I’m going to go work on the car.”
I flung myself at his wide back, awkwardly wrapping my arms around him from behind. He stopped walking and I tightened my arms around his solid waist.
“What’s going on?” he sounded amused.
I lay my face against the middle of his warm back. “I’m sorry.”
I felt him laugh. “For what?”
“That Ted hurt you.”
I felt his entire body go still. We stood there for a long moment, the side of my face was pressed against the warmth of his back. I tried to inject light and happiness
from my body into his. As if to heal his childhood wounds. To try and take away some of that pain.
I began to step back but his hand reached up and pressed my hands into his stomach, preventing me from moving. I sighed and sank back into our hug. I matched my breath to his and concentrated on pushing all my positive energy into his body through his back. It might sound stupid, but I like to think that stuff like that actually worked. His hand remained on mine, trapping me against him.
Moments ticked by and we stood sharing our awkward hug. He made no motion to remove me. I squeezed him even harder. As if I could squeeze the pain out of him. My mom had taught me the value of hugs. She used to say that there was precious little in this world that a decent hug couldn’t fix.
I heard a car door slam and then the sound of Matt’s feet pounding up the stairs. I began to step back and this time Jackson let me. I moved with haste back to the kitchen and bent over the island, staring unseeing at my phone. All in an attempt to hide the emotion that I knew was fraying my expression.
“Hey,” Matt said. “How was your day?”
“Pretty good and you?” Jackson’s voice was low.
Matt strode into the kitchen. “Good. Em, I can’t stay for dinner. I have to take some clients to a game.”
I glanced up from my phone. “Okay.”
“I just came home to change.”
“Do you want me to save you a plate?” My voice sounded wooden.
“Nah. I'll eat at the game.”
I glanced behind me. Jackson had disappeared. A moment later I heard his truck roar to a start.
Matt left in a whirlwind, barely affording me a second glance. I waited until 8 PM to eat dinner, but Jackson didn’t return. I sat at the island, turning over the thought of Jackson in my mind. I was still trying to put the crumbs of information together that I could garner from Matt and Jackson.
Jackson had lived alone with Ted, a man he mentioned was not even his father. His mother had died. So where was his real father? Why had Ted, a man obviously not interested in loving or caring for a small child, continued to keep Jackson in his life only so that he could abuse him?
