‘All part of the service?’ I teased.
‘Yes.’ I could sense the smile down the phone, he was warming up again. ‘What rental can you afford?’
‘I’d need to rework my finances, but assuming I take this new job with the pay raise, still only about £2,000 a calendar month.’
‘That’s low for central London.’
‘I know. I’m prepared to travel up to say an hour to my office in Knightsbridge.’
‘I’ll see what his contacts can come up with. Bedroom preference?’
‘Ideally two, but I could manage with one. No completely open plan studios though. I’d like somewhere for a home office and can always get a sofa bed for when friends visit.’
‘You’re taking the offer at your old firm?’ He sounded surprised.
‘I may have no choice.’
‘Why?’
‘Well, I’ve not exactly been doing much writing here and I’ll need a steady income to pay rent wherever I live. If I take the job I can work from home and write in my free time.’
‘But I thought writing was your dream?’ he asked, sounding puzzled.
‘It is, but dreams don’t pay the rent and bills, Dan.’ There was another silence, which I wanted to fill with an endless stream of questions about him, but I knew I wouldn’t get far with the answers. ‘It’s a new day.’
‘It is.’
‘New day, new question,’ I tested and he went quiet again, so I bit my lip to stop myself jumping in.
‘Go ahead,’ he eventually sighed.
‘Why do you hate yourself so much?’
‘Too broad a question.’
‘What happened to make you like this?’
‘Still too broad.’ He sounded irritated and I knew I was pushing him too hard.
‘Do you still want me?’ I whispered.
‘Always,’ he answered without hesitation. ‘Ten minutes.’ The line went dead and I let out a groan of frustration. I quickly got his dinner out, covered it in cling film and set it out on the island, then made myself a coffee and decided I wasn’t going to sit in the guest bedroom with him feet away from me, so I went into the cinema room, tucked myself up in the chair and started reading again. My heart skipped a beat when I heard the front door unlock and I looked around at the solid oak door that divided us, tempted to run out and force him to connect with me again, but I knew it wasn’t fair. I also knew from the look I’d seen on his face last night that he wasn’t ready.
I listened as he walked up the stairs and tried to refocus on my book, but every time I did I could see him with his bare perfect torso leaning over me on the kitchen island, his eyes alive with excitement and desire. I closed mine and gave in to the replay, for about the eleventh time since he’d left last night, and squirmed in the chair as I felt myself becoming aroused. Without thinking I slipped my hand down under my knickers and groaned to find myself so ready and began to circle my clit, imagining it was his fingers again. The sensation was nowhere near as good as when he’d touched me but it didn’t stop me from bringing myself to a quick hard orgasm and I let out an involuntary cry.
‘Ellie?’ I heard his panicked yell from outside the door. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘Nothing,’ I gasped.
‘I heard you cry out.’
‘I’m fine, please go if you’ve finished,’ I called back, embarrassed.
‘I have. I’ve made you a fire too, it’s cold out.’
‘Thank you,’ I replied as I put my book down and made my way to the door.
‘You’re welcome.’
‘Don’t forget your dinner.’
‘I won’t. Thank you.’
‘You’re welcome. Have a good night,’ I reached up and touched the door, liking to imagine he was doing the same on the other side. We were like ill-fated lovers that were never meant to be, our “relationship” reminded me of Phantom of the Opera, him the cloaked and shielded mystery, me the eager innocent who was inexplicably drawn to him.
‘You too. Goodnight, Miss Baxter.’
I listened to his footsteps on the oak floor, and then the front door close and the key being turned. He’d gone, so I opened the cinema door and stepped out. He was standing outside looking in, we locked eyes and I caught my breath as I saw his chest expand, then he quickly turned and walked away, my plate of dinner in his hands. I ran back up the stairs and went and sat at the office desk and watched him head into the boathouse and close the door. ‘Why couldn’t you have picked a nice easy guy in London to fall for, Ellie Baxter,’ I muttered as I printed off the contract and went through it with a fine-tooth comb. It all seemed perfectly in order, no clauses in there that I didn’t like. It seemed a bit cheeky given the package, but I wondered if he’d offer compensation if I wasn’t to take the company car, there was nothing wrong with Maisie.
I created a spreadsheet for my finances and went on the internet and started researching what sort of costs I’d be looking at month to month for the bills, then remembered that I knew the access to Zac’s internet banking. We’d initially started out with a joint current account, then around the time we started having troubles he’d suggested separating them. I should have realised then something was up, I kept my fingers crossed that he hadn’t changed the passwords and he hadn’t. I quickly scribbled down all the monthly payments he made towards the apartment and was shocked to see a really large one to the bank. I clicked back on his list of accounts and scrolled down to see there was a mortgage account. I sat back in the chair shocked, then leaned forward to click on the account and see it in more detail. He’d taken out a massive advance on the penthouse and it looked like he was in arrears. I felt so ashamed that I could have lived with someone without even knowing him or what he was up to.
I figured the bills were higher than I’d be paying in a smaller place on my own, but fed them into my spreadsheet as a worst case scenario and used a salary app to calculate my new net wage, and was pleased to see that I could comfortably manage £2,500 per month rent. I didn’t want to go any higher, as Zac always used to pay for our nights out and holidays, and I was going to need some spare funds for fun. I logged into my account and shook my head when I saw that John had paid my £10K bonus directly into my account as I hadn’t banked the cheque. I quickly transferred it to my savings to earn interest and returned to start looking at apartments for rent. Dan had been right, it wasn’t easy to get something I liked in terms of location or style for my price. I figured I had some time before I had to worry too much. I always had Brooke’s room short term and I was here on a getaway, and needed to get my head back in the game. The fact I knew I could manage financially without Zac was reassurance enough. I checked my emails and saw one from Brooke and one from Zac. I hovered over the delete button, but was intrigued to see what lies he’d made up this time, and opened it.
I’m really missing you, El. It’s not the same at home without you. I’m sorting myself out, I got rid of the remaining supplies of coke I’d hidden, and I’ve been to a rehab centre to get some help. I’m actively looking for work so I can get back on track and pay you back the money I borrowed. Borrowed?! I laughed to myself. That was putting a spin on the truth, he should go into politics. I haven’t had sex since you left and I’ve been for tests again to make sure I’ve not picked anything up since the last lot. Great, he had to remind me about the tests I’d had to have done yesterday. I’m going to email you every day and remind you of all the reasons I love you and why we’re right for each other. I know I don’t deserve a second chance El, but I was in a really dark place and couldn’t see a way out. I thought you’d leave me if you knew I was so weak, so I hid it all from you, but losing you has made me realise how much I love you and that I want to make it work. I miss you, honey. Z xxx
I used to love it when he called me honey. It was the first time anyone had given me a pet name, other than my dad calling me sweet cheeks because of my dimples. Reading the word “honey” on his email though seemed so wrong. It was a term implying endearment, of famili
arity and love, and that had been lost with us. I deleted his email and opened Brooke’s.
Hey babes, I’ll forgive you for covering up the truth. Brooke can be a bit pushy when it comes to wanting answers, I’ll try and dial it down when we talk later, but I’ll want full disclosure, voluntarily. I can’t wait to have our girly night tonight. Eight p.m., be there or be square. It’s going to be sexy talk heaven. xxx
Thank you and please don’t talk about yourself in the third person, it’s just weird. Can’t wait either, fire’s lit, chocolate and wine will be ready to go. Eight, don’t be late Brooke Hanson, I know you. xxx
It was dark outside already and I checked my watch. It was a quarter past seven and I realised that I hadn’t heard Dan go out. He must’ve stayed in because of the weather and that’s why he’d pulled the boat out of the water. If the snow kept falling at this rate, we’d be trapped here for some time. I grabbed my iPad and headed downstairs and set up the lounge ready with my bottle of wine, a large slab of Dairy Milk and the book I’d been reading, and put some music on low as I went to nuke my meal of chilli and curled up on the sofa to eat. It was quarter past eight when Brooke facetimed me.
‘You’re late,’ I chastised.
‘Sorry, something came up.’
‘I’m guessing a dick as you have flushed cheeks and matted hair. Been having sex have you?’
‘Shit, is it that obvious?’ she asked as she tried to smooth it down.
‘Yes. I take it as it’s not your weekend with Steve that this was dickless sex, and it’s your bit on the side?’
‘Man, she’s good,’ Brooke smiled. ‘Jesus, her tongue could carve ice sculptures, and she’s got a pair of tits I could smother in.’
‘Brooke Hanson,’ I laughed. ‘I thought you were supposed to be being faithful and had decided you were more about cock?’
‘Well, I was until I saw her. It was lust at first sight, and man was it crazy. We ended up in the supplies closet ripping each other’s clothes off and I’ve never come so hard as when she went down on me.’
‘So you’re in lust? Again?’
‘It may be love, Ellie.’
‘I only left on Monday, how can you have fallen in love already?’
‘Never underestimate the power of good head,’ she chuckled.
‘So what’s she like? Tell me all about her?’ I asked as I settled back and sipped my wine and listened to her talking with the excitement of a five year old, fresh from a Disney World trip, with wild gesticulations. After about twenty minutes she’d calmed down and pretty much drawn me a picture of this new interest in her life, who went by the name of Molly. She was thirty-one, three years older than Brooke, and had just started as the Spa Manageress at the Hotel. She had a short brown bob and “an arse that begged to be grabbed” both in and out of her tight uniform skirt.
‘So she’s a real hands on boss then?’ I teased and Brooke burst out laughing.
‘O yeah.’
‘Is employee fraternisation allowed?’
‘Hell no, but neither’s employee guest, but has that ever stopped me?’
‘No, most definitely not,’ I laughed.
‘Enough about me, I could go on about her all night I’m so madly in love. I want to hear all about these new digs you’re in and hot non-gay guy.’
‘How long do you have?’
‘Molly’s back at ten a.m. tomorrow, so you have until then. I love you and all, but you don’t go down on me and make me see stars.’
‘Bet I could if I was that way inclined.’
‘I bet you could, too. You’re still the best kisser I ever had. You know I’m always willing for you to give eating me out a try, whether I’m in a relationship or not, just so you can see if you like it.’
‘Ahhhh, the things you do for your friends Brooke, selfless to a fault.’
‘Not just any friends, my fanny isn’t an open house free-for-all you know? She has a very strict clientele, of which you would be on the VIP list.’
‘Thank you, I’m very honoured, as well as totally grossed out at the same time. So, let’s start with a tour of the house, shall we? I don’t want to waffle on as usual all night and keep you from Molly’s marvellous tongue.’
‘Damn right you don’t, I’m wet at the thought of it. So what am I looking at here?’ she asked. I walked around the house and laughed as she kept gasping and asking me to zoom in on areas. ‘O my God Ellie, it’s stunning, you have to show me the views when it’s daylight. It’s so you as well, modern but with comfy cosy furniture and soft accessories.’
‘It is, isn’t it? I mean the boathouse is adorable, but I couldn’t live in it long term, not enough storage space for my shoes and bags, or a big enough kitchen for all my gadgets and to cook properly. But this is like the perfect house, if not a little remote.’
‘How remote are you?’
‘Let’s just say that it looks like the loch’s freezing and we’re an hours journey from the nearest town down a mountain that makes black ski runs look like nursery slopes.’
‘What if there was an emergency? How would you get out?’
‘I have thought of that myself and I have no idea. I need to press Dan on it.’
‘Ok, talking of Dan the man, enough of the stalling. Give me the juice.’
‘O God, where do I start?’
‘Have you seen his cock yet?’
‘No, Brooke,’ I laughed.
‘What’s wrong with you? It’s been six days.’
‘I’m not you.’
‘Fair point,’ she shrugged. ‘Describe him for me properly.’
‘Wow, well he’s thirty-four, I reckon about six foot four and seriously built with no fat on him at all. He’s got short black hair with slight grey but very sexy flecks running through it, the deepest sea green eyes that you just want to dive into, full luscious lips, and he usually sports a five o’clock shadow, which just unnecessarily adds to his ruggedly handsome face and raw masculine sex appeal. He has broad shoulders, firm pecs and a ripped six pack, with that little trail of dark hair from his navel leading down his stomach. His skin’s all soft and lightly tanned and his bottom, wow, his bottom is seriously grabable too, in any outfit. He’s…’
‘Seriously, there’s more?’ she laughed as she interrupted me. ‘Someone has way more than a crush.’
‘I’m in serious trouble, Brooke,’ I sighed as I poured another glass of wine, emptying the bottle.
‘Why? You need a proper rebound guy this time. He can be your winter fling and then you come back to London with Zac having been fucked well and truly out of your system, and you can move on.’
‘It’s not as simple as that,’ I moaned as I ran my hand through my hair.
‘Christ, don’t tell me you’re that remote that you’ve found the one guy in the universe that doesn’t find you attractive?’
‘O no,’ I replied with a vehement shake of my head. ‘That’s definitely not the issue, quite the opposite.’
‘He can’t get it up?’
‘No,’ I confirmed on another shake. ‘No problem there either from what I’ve seen fighting to escape his jeans.’
‘Big?’
‘Yeah,’ I groaned. ‘With girth like this,’ I gesticulated with my hands.
‘Sod Molly’s tongue, I want me some of that Dan action,’ she groaned in response. ‘He’s a shit kisser, isn’t he? I mean he has everything else, he has to be shit at kissing, tell me he’s a bad kisser?’
‘He’s the best,’ I sighed as I ran a finger over my lips and remembered his on mine, whipping me up into a frenzy.
‘Then what? You’re killing me here, Ellie,’ she pleaded. I sighed and tried to explain our complex relationship, from meeting at the airport and all the way up to where I’d run from the boathouse after seeing him half naked.
‘O my God, I’d have ripped that towel off and jumped his bones. Why the hell did you run?’
‘Because I like him too much Brooke, and I didn’t want to be hurt.�
�
‘Didn’t? You’ve done it already haven’t you?’ she asked as she sat up a little straighter.
‘Sort of, he turned up here at eleven last night and said he had an hour before he had to make his choice and wanted to spend that hour making me come.’
‘No way,’ she exclaimed as her face moved so close to the screen I could have counted all her freckles. ‘Did he?’
‘So many times,’ I nodded.
‘Good?’
‘Incredible,’ I whispered in a breathless tone.
‘Better than Zac?’
‘Zac who?’ I jumped, then smiled as Brooke screamed with joy and clapped her hands.
‘That’s my girl. Zac who?! I love it. O my God, one hour with this guy and you’ve gotten over a five year relationship. What will another twenty-two days with him do for your confidence? I love him already, issues smissues, pah!’
‘Twenty-two days? Are you keeping a countdown?’ I laughed.
‘Maybe. I miss you.’
‘I miss you, too.’
‘When are you back?’
‘Flight’s on Monday the sixth, in the evening again.’
‘What are you doing for Christmas and New Year? Tell me you’re going to spend it together having hot crazy naked sex?’
‘I’d love to, but he’s insistent that it’s not going to happen, Brooke.’
‘Please, like any man was ever born with the ability to withstand a woman offering herself to him, let alone a beautiful one like you that he already fancies.’
‘You think?’
‘I know. Time and proximity is all that’s needed, you’ll wear him down.’
‘I don’t want to wear him down Brooke, I want him to want me, properly, not just because I’m a hole for him to fill after so long.’
‘Babe, if he’s not lying and it’s really been three years, then if all he was after was a hole he’d have filled it like a cream donut on Monday night.’
‘Please don’t put me off one of my favourite treats by comparing it to a come filled vagina.’
‘Still tastes just as good,’ she winked.
‘Brooke!’ I exclaimed as I started laughing again. She was so much more adventurous than me, she’d been in threesomes, orgies, the lot.
31 Days of Winter Page 17
