I made myself another coffee and sat at the bistro table and fired up my laptop and started typing, using Dan as an inspiration for the steamier scenes I was having to conjure up. I stopped when I realised that the light was starting to fade. It got dark up here even earlier than in London. I quickly took stock of the candles, we were going to have to economise or we were going to run out if we had a few more nights without power. Thank God the boathouse had a gas oven and gas fired boiler for the hot water. I prepared dinner before it went too dark, put it in the oven ready, put some extra logs on the fire and curled up with a book, using a small candle on the lamp table to the side to see what I was reading.
‘Ellie … Ellie, wake up.’
‘What?’ I moaned as I slowly blinked my eyes and adjusted to the dim lighting. Dan was crouched at my side, his hand on my forehead.
‘Hi. You’ve been asleep for a while, it’s nearly eight o’clock.’
‘Really?’
‘I take it the book wasn’t scintillating?’ he chuckled as he removed his hand. I hated that I felt the loss of its reassuring presence. I loved it when he was touching me, sexual or not.
‘It was great, I just didn’t sleep well last night.’
‘Why not?’ he frowned.
‘I just felt a bit uncomfortable us sharing like that. You don’t need any temptation.’
‘You being in Scotland is a temptation, Ellie. Being in my bed is fucking torture.’
‘Then let me sleep down here tonight. See, I’m really comfortable and had no trouble sleeping just now.’
‘Are you sure? I just feel bad. You’re the paying tenant.’
‘For this cosy boathouse, not the huge house. Trust me, I’m more than happy with the deal I’ve had. Sleeping on here for a few nights is no hardship. I’ll get up and get dinner sorted. I may need your torch.’
‘Sure,’ he nodded and held out his hand to help me up. I bit my lip as I took it. I could smell that he’d had a shower, he must have been back for a while. I wondered how long he’d been watching me. I fought the urge to throw myself onto him, wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him the way I wanted to, the way I knew he wanted me to. Instead I focussed on cooking as I tried to work out again what his deal was. There was no lack of sexual attraction on either part, he was willing and very obviously able, as was I, but something was still holding him back. I just knew it had something to do with his twilight zone disappearing act most days. I wish I knew where he usually went every day, why he was hiding out here, if it had anything to do with his scar and accident. He was so intriguing, I was so desperate for any scrap of personal information from him. ‘Are you ok?’ he asked, breaking my thoughts.
‘Yes, why?’
‘You’re very quiet.’
‘I’m not sure what to talk about, I have loads of questions that I know you probably won’t answer.’
‘About me?’ he sighed.
‘Yes.’
‘Find some other questions,’ he suggested, as if it were that simple.
‘Talking’s over rated anyway,’ I sighed and stayed silent as I cooked the rice with the light from the gas ring and Dan’s torch helping me.
‘This isn’t easy for me, Ellie. I’m not used to talking to people.’
‘I know that, I just don’t understand why.’
‘I spend a lot of time alone and I’ve told you before, I’m a very private person. I don’t want everyone knowing my affairs.’
‘I hardly think you’d have the worlds press and news crews landing here if they discovered Dan, whatever your surname is, was looking after guests, chopping logs and driving to town every day for four hours.’
‘There’s no need to be sarcastic.’
‘I wasn’t being sarcastic, trust me if I was you’d know about it. I’m stating facts. You’re hardly living in the fast lane and creating news worthy headlines, Dan. Why do you need to be so private?’
‘Why do you need to be so damn nosy,’ he snapped. ‘I shouldn’t have to explain myself to you.’ I looked around surprised at his tone, in time to see him slam the front door as he stalked out.
‘Great,’ I muttered with a roll of my eyes. ‘You fall in love with the most infuriating and closed off man on the planet.’ I carried on cooking and plated up, then set the bistro table for two, before opening the front door, figuring he couldn’t have gone far as I had his torch. Given the brightness of the moon, which cast an eerie glow across the frozen water and snow laden trees, I could make him out, slumped in one of the wooden armchairs, his elbows on the arms with his forehead in one of his palms. ‘If you’re hungry, dinner’s ready. I put it on the table or you can eat alone out here if you prefer, I’ll give you the torch.’
‘I’ll come in.’
‘Ok.’
‘Ellie, I’m sorry. I’m not used to having company, no one ever wants to know about my life any more, it just takes some getting used to.’
‘Whatever, dinner’s getting cold,’ I replied and headed back inside. I wasn’t about to let him off that easily. If we were stuck together in such a confined space, he was going to have to act a little more like a human being if we weren’t going to have a blowout. I’d already started when he walked in and I avoided looking at him. We ate in silence, but I couldn’t help myself smiling as I heard the grunt of approval as he cleared his plate in record time.
‘You really are a great cook.’
‘It’s easy, you could do something like that in no time.’
‘I’m just the guy who looks after guests and chops logs,’ he retorted. I definitely didn’t miss the sarcasm he threw in my direction with that comment.
‘I never said there was anything wrong with that, there’s no need to be so defensive.’
‘I don’t like you thinking I’m less than I am.’
‘What do you care what I think? I’m just a paying guest who’s leaving soon. My opinion of you shouldn’t matter.’
‘It does.’
‘Why?’ I frowned as I tried to read his face, but he was blocking the glow of the fire and the small tea light emissions barely reached his chest.
‘I don’t know. I don’t like you thinking I’m some nobody.’
‘I don’t think that. I think you’re an intelligent man who’s chosen to hide away for some reason. I just don’t understand why you feel you can’t talk about it. Did no other guests want to know more about you?’
‘No,’ he laughed. ‘We tend to cater to couples on honeymoon or a romantic break. Not much call for a third party’s interactions.’
‘I don’t know, you ought to start advertising to couples who are looking to add a bit of spice in their relationship. I’m sure they’d love your third party interactions.’
‘Are you being rude, Miss Baxter?’
‘Just saying it’s a waste, a guy like you should be having sex, lots of sex. Not being celibate. Has no couple ever tried it on with you?’
‘No.’
‘You really ought to advertise your services. I think couples would be ecstatic to arrive and find you as part of the package.’
‘Would you have been?’
‘You already know the answer to that. You’re not the only one who can avoid answering questions,’ I replied as I blushed and cleared the table. ‘You know if Brooke were here she wouldn’t take no for an answer. I swear she’s been reincarnated and was prisoner of war interrogator in a previous life. She wheedles secrets out of everyone in no time at all. In fact, I’ve a good mind to tell her to get her arse up here and she’d have you spilling everything in seconds.’ I rinsed the plates and set them to drain as I washed my hands. When I turned to dry them I jumped and screamed to find Dan standing right behind me. ‘Jesus. You should wear a bloody bell, how did you get over here without making any noise? My heart’s pounding. You gave me the …’
‘Shut up, Ellie. You talk too much,’ he interrupted as he backed me up against the sink, pressed into me and clasped my face between his hands. My stomach somers
aulted at the contact, as I tried to control the familiar trembling that radiated through my body whenever he did that.
‘What are you doing?’ I whimpered as I looked up at him.
‘You’ll yammer all bloody night if I don’t do something to shut you up, and I like the quiet.’
‘That’s unfair, I … I …’ I groaned as he lowered his head and sealed his lips over mine. He surprised me by being tender. Gentle kisses with the odd flicker of his tongue against my lips as his thumbs stroked my cheekbones, turning me to jelly. ‘I don’t think this is a good idea,’ I whispered.
‘I don’t want to talk and you’ll just embarrass yourself trying to fill an awkward silence. I vote we kiss, for as long as it takes for you to relax and fall asleep.’
‘What if I don’t agree with your vote?’ I mewled. He kissed me again and I mentally kicked myself as I heard myself sigh contentedly.
‘Tough. This island is governed by a dictator and I’m commanding you to obey me, now shut up and kiss me back,’ he growled as he took my mouth possessively. I automatically wrapped my arms around his neck and he lifted me up onto his hips and carried me to the fire. He lowered me down onto the sheepskin rug and half lay on top of me as he took control of the pace of our entwining tongues. I was floating on a cloud of bliss. I wanted sex with him, so badly, but something told me he still wasn’t going to break and I didn’t want to force him. If we did it, I wanted him to want to do it, for it to be natural. I just let him smother my body with his, his one hand cradling the back of my head, cushioning it from the floor, his other hand gently holding my throat in a seriously domineering way. Like I was going to pull away when his kisses made me feel like I wanted to die in his arms? I was gripping the back of his one shoulder as my other hand tugged at the back of his hair. I lost track of time as we just continued, we kissed like we’d been doing it all our lives, like our mouths instinctively knew how to bring the most pleasure to each other’s. Eventually he rolled onto his back and took me with him, so I was outstretched on his front, his erection painful against my belly.
‘Dan,’ I sighed. He reached up and clasped my face and kissed me again.
‘No talking,’ he instructed. ‘No talking and no sex. Just kissing. Ok?’
‘Ok,’ I nodded, not too proud to take whatever scraps I could from him. His green eyes seemed luminescent in the glow of the fire. The flames flickered in the reflection of his deep pools of black.
‘Has anyone ever told you that you’re the most beautiful woman they’ve ever seen?’ he whispered.
‘I thought you said no talking,’ I reminded him, trying to cover up how much that one sentence had just made my night.
‘I did, it just warranted saying before we carried on. I don’t just kiss any old guest in front of the fire, you know.’
‘Good, because I don’t just kiss any intelligent, IT trained, strong, sexy wood cutter in front of the fire either. Especially not drop dead gorgeous ones, they’re the absolute worst, it’s such a chore.’
‘Rambling,’ he chuckled and pulled me down to silence me with his mouth again as I melted in his arms.
Day Twenty Three
Ellie
I woke up on the sheepskin rug in front of the glowing embers of the fire, covered in two blankets. I blinked against the bright sunlight streaming in through the window and smiled as I remembered how we’d kissed until we were in danger of igniting each other and then fell asleep wrapped around each other. I touched my lips, they felt a bit bruised and swollen, I’d never kissed a guy for that long. Usually just as the kissing got good with a guy, it was interrupted by sex, and then you only got a quick peck on the lips after as they rolled over to go to sleep. That had been a serious kissing marathon. I’d never been so turned on, yet felt so adored at the same time. He’d not made one sexual overture, no stray brushing of my breasts, no grasping of my arse. Just lots of tender kisses that told me that he was starting to feel for me, maybe not as much as I felt for him, but all the same, his feelings for me were definitely more than he was prepared to admit. Just that thought was enough to make my smile widen and to feel all warm inside.
‘Dan?’ I called. The boathouse was silent. I checked my watch and was shocked to see that it was already ten-thirty. I took advantage of having the house to myself and had a shower and relieved myself. I hadn’t masturbated in days and squealed as I came quickly and violently. My eyes darted up to the gap in the floorboards, wondering if he’d hidden up there quietly, like some navy seal on manoeuvres, making me think I was alone so he could spy on me showering. I realised how ridiculous that was. If he’d told me to strip for him last night and masturbate openly in front of him, I would have no hesitation. He didn’t need to resort to covert measures to witness me in all my glory. I couldn’t believe a week tonight I had my flight home. I hadn’t told Dan yet that it was two nights early, I wasn’t sure how he’d take it. I figured it wasn’t like he had loads of plans at night, so it shouldn’t make any difference to him in terms of not being convenient. I dressed in my jeans again, with my black underwear and a red batwing jumper. After checking the cupboards I found some cereal to have with some milk and grabbed a coffee from the pot bubbling on the wood burner.
I worked on my manuscript until I was forced to save and close down as the warning battery light kicked in. I wondered how freaked out Brooke was going to be not having heard from me in two days. She wouldn’t be very happy, but what could I do? Until we could get to shore it seemed we had no way of contacting anyone. He really needed to think about having his own generator up here. What if there was an emergency and he needed to get to the hospital? He’d be really stuck not being able to ring out on the landline, or having no charge on his phone either. I settled in again with another book, but my mind kept wandering. I needed to chase the agents about Brooke having the keys early. If she could, I needed to order all my kitchen gadgets and bed and bath linen so it would be ready when I got there. One week tonight I’d be sleeping in my new home. A home I hadn’t even seen in person.
I refocused on my book and lit some candles as it started to get dark. I started to get worried when I realised it was nearly nine p.m. and I hadn’t seen Dan all day. I made some mash for him to go with the leftover turkey dish from last night and I picked at some cheese and biscuits and poured myself a glass of wine. When it got to ten o’clock I was really concerned. What if he’d fallen and broken his leg? And I’d been sitting here all day chilling out? I pulled on my boots and grabbed the torch, wondering if I even knew the way up to the cabin that housed the gym, or if I was brave enough to venture out in the snow, in the dark on my own. The decision was made for me as I was about to open the door and I heard footsteps on the veranda. I opened it and dazzled him with the torch.
‘Thank God, I was starting to get worried about you. Is everything ok?’
‘Fine. I just lost track of time.’
‘I’ll say. You’ve been gone for over twelve hours. Where have you been?’
‘We’re not married Ellie, I don’t need the Spanish inquisition as soon as I walk through the door,’ he sighed as he closed it behind him. I winced to myself, that hurt. Especially as this wasn’t the Dan whose arms I’d fallen asleep in last night.
‘Sorry for worrying that you’d fallen over and hurt yourself,’ I bit back, feeling unbelievably angry with him. Angry and fed up with his ever changing moods. ‘Your dinner’s in the microwave, three minutes on high will do it. I’ll give you some space as twelve hours obviously wasn’t enough.’ I snatched up my iPhone and the small torch, shrugged on his coat and stalked out and slammed his door. I waited for a moment hoping he’d come after me but he didn’t. I went up to the house, unlocked the door and locked myself back in, making sure the key was left in it, then shivered. It was freezing in here, but I was determined I wasn’t spending another night in there with him. I couldn’t take much more. How could he go from making me feel so wonderful last night, without provocation, to feeling so awful tonight
? I looked around and found a Yankee candle that he’d missed on the mantelpiece and took it upstairs to the bedroom. I managed to light the log fire, found some extra blankets and loaded them onto the bed, stripped off my coat and boots and climbed in, curling into a ball as I stared at the ceiling. It wasn’t long before I heard the door handle downstairs rattling. I smirked, pleased I’d left the key in, that would teach him.
‘Ellie?’ he yelled. I didn’t reply. He could sweat for a while, like I had for the last few hours. ‘ELLIE! I know you’re in there, I can see the light of the fire. You can’t sleep in there, it’s too cold. If you really can’t bear to be around me, I’ll sleep here and you can have my bed. I’m more used to the cold than you.’
‘Go away,’ I yelled. ‘I’m fine.’
‘Don’t be so bloody stubborn, woman. Open the door.’
‘No. I’m lovely and warm and I’m tired. I’d just like to go to sleep. Go away.’
‘Open the damn door. I’m not leaving you up here alone all night.’
‘No different to leaving me alone down there all day,’ I reminded him and coughed. Yelling was doing my throat no good.
‘If you don’t open this door right now, so help me God, Ellie.’
‘What? You’ll shout me to death all night?’ I smiled as it went quiet. He was so bloody infuriating. How dare he make out like he was all concerned now, when he’d not given a damn all day. I gasped and bolted upright as I heard the shattering of glass and a heavy thud downstairs. I leapt up and looked over the glass balustrade and heard the door being unlocked and swinging open, and the crunching of glass as I made out his shadow stepping in. ‘I don’t believe you!’ I uttered.
‘I bloody warned you. Now get your arse down here right now,’ he barked.
‘You’re so out of order.’
‘Get down here or I’ll come and get you.’
31 Days of Winter Page 34
