by Lena North
“More than the air that I breathe,” I said as I let my hand slide one more time over his forehead and over his face to close his eyelids. “Goodbye, Byron,” I whispered and covered his face with the blanket.
Chapter Twenty-three
Aftermath
The week after Byron and Cameron’s deaths was chaotic.
It started when my family arrived at the hospital in Norton and promptly set out to tear the place to pieces when they heard what had happened. Gramps held me so tight I worried my ribs would break, but I couldn't take his need to hold me away from him, so I hugged him back and found comfort in his familiar scent and the soft curses he mumbled into my hair.
When he finally let go of me we told them about Sven, the four bullets they’d removed from his body and the blood loss he’d suffered, and I watched my grandfather completely lose his shit for the first time in my life. He roared so loudly everyone stopped moving, and stalked over to stare straight into the wall for what felt like an eternity. Then one of his fists went into the wall. Literally. Before anyone could say or do anything he walked out of there and his car roared down the street.
“I guess he’ll keep Da company,” Olly said. “Let’s go, babe. We’re going home.”
The doctor told us that Olly needed to stay for observation on account of the broken ribs. He held up Olly’s bulletproof vest as proof of how close he’d been to dying, and told him yet again how lucky he’d been. My parents chimed in, but my brothers stayed out of it and were inspecting the hole Gramps had made in the wall with hard faces.
“All respect, Doc Anderson, but I'm not staying,” Olly said calmly. “There was a big showdown at the farm earlier, and I need to take Annie home with me tonight.”
“She can stay here with you,” the doctor offered.
“You don’t get it,” Olly said softly. “The man who was half of my girl’s soul died in her arms on the lawn behind the Harper place today. His blood is still on the grass just outside the house where we’ll spend the rest of our lives, and we have to start picking up the pieces of what we lost back there. If we wait, we won’t ever get that blood out of our minds, so we have to go home.”
The room was suddenly silent.
“I get it,” the doctor murmured. “Bee would have been so proud of who you’ve become, Olof.”
“She is,” I said and took Olly’s hand. “Let’s go home.”
My parents didn’t take us up on the offer to spend the night at the farm, and went down to Twin City to find out if Gramps had punched any holes in the walls down there. My brothers came with us and helped wash away the blood from the lawn, and the barn. Mary and Miller arrived when we were putting the hoses away, followed by all the others. They brought food and we sat in the cold night on the back porch, wrapped up in blankets. We didn’t talk much, but it was comforting to have them there, and I knew Olly had been right when he refused to stay at the hospital.
“Come,” I said quietly to Mary.
We walked the few steps away from the others to stand on the lawn where we both had lost the young man who in essence had been a brother to both of us.
“He came back to me for just a few seconds, right here,” I said. “His gaze cleared, and he was back. He wasn’t Boon in those final moments, Mary. He was Byron again.”
She swallowed and said in a voice laced with sadness and regret, “I heard what he said about why he hurt himself. I stitched his wounds up so many times, and never knew he cut himself because he missed you. Didn’t think to ask and I should have.”
“No. You couldn’t have known, and he wouldn’t have told you. It would have been dangerous if he told you.”
“I should have done something,” a deep voice murmured. Reuben had joined us, and he put an arm around Mary’s shoulders, but he was looking at me. “We were at the hospital visiting a friend when they brought him in, and we stayed. I asked what his name was, and he mumbled what I thought was Boon, but I guess he tried to say Byron. Ronnie walked in, and when I asked if he was Boon's brother, he said yes.”
“You saved him,” I said.
It was clear that both Mary and the old man blamed themselves for not getting Byron more help, and maybe they should have tried. Thend was poor country, though, and whatever they’d managed wouldn’t have been enough. We’d put all the considerable Morgan resources into getting him help and had barely managed to keep him steady.
“We didn’t give him what he needed,” Mary protested.
“He was alive,” I countered. “If you hadn’t been there in the hospital, Reuben… I think Cam would have killed him. By knew too much so he would have. But you were there, so he couldn’t. He tucked his brother away with you in Thend instead, and it probably took him less than a day to figure out how he could use the remote location to his advantage.”
“Thank you,” Reuben sighed. “It helps to see it like that.”
“Ronnie was happy,” Mary said in a small voice. “He was. We laughed at the dinner table, partied and goofed around together. He seemed so… normal.”
“I know,” Snow said.
She stood a few steps away, and I reached for her. She put an arm around my shoulders and sighed.
“I knew him as Cimarron, and he was just one of the guys. We climbed together. Sailed. He was the one who showed me how to hotwire a car.” Her voice broke but she went on, “I can’t forget that stupid, stupid thing. That grin when he showed me how to steal a car.”
“Something was wrong with him,” Reuben murmured. “I always knew. Something just wasn’t… right, but I thought it was his temper, or perhaps what had happened to Boony. We had so many kids with us over the years, and most of them struggled. I thought he got better when –” He cut himself off and swallowed several times. “Jenny,” he whispered hoarsely.
Cameron’s wife.
“How much did you tell her?” I asked.
“We said he was dealing drugs and had hurt people doing that. We didn’t go into details. She’s gone back to Thend to be with her folks,” Jinx murmured behind me.
“Let's leave it like that,” I said. “She's not to blame, and neither is the boy. It'll be enough for them to know he was a criminal and now he's dead, so they don't need to know more. At least not now. Maybe the boy will need the truth when he's old enough to handle it, but for now – we leave it.”
“He killed Boon,” Mary said.
“Yes,” I sighed. “He killed Byron. But By knew he would. He walked up to his brother knowing he’d get hurt and he still did it.”
“Why didn’t he stop?” Mary sobbed. “Mac had Ronnie in his sight, there were people all around. He didn’t have to…”
Miller was suddenly there, and he held her when she cried.
“We would have put Cameron Strachlan in prison,” Hawker said calmly. “He would have been there for a long while, but he’d never been gone.”
I felt his strong hand on my shoulder as he turned me toward him.
“You would never have been free, Annie. Cameron was clever, and you would always have worried that he’d find a way to get out. And if he got out he would have come straight for you, so you would always have been afraid. Always needed protection. Somewhere in his muddled mind Byron knew that and kept walking. Knowing his brother would hurt him, but doing it anyway so he could set you free.”
Tears were running down my cheeks but I nodded. I’d known that from the second Byron came around the corner and kept walking toward his brother when everyone shouted at him to stop.
“There’s beauty in that,” Hawker said and turned to Reuben. “Perhaps you can find some comfort in the knowledge that you kept him alive all those years so he could perform one final act of strength and beauty.”
“Thank you, Hawker Johns,” Reuben said. “I’ll take care of Jenny and the boy, but…”
“We'll share guardianship of the boy with his mother, Reuben. You, me and the mother. We'll make sure he grows up right. He com
es from Jonathan Strachlan, but he has my blood too. And Thend blood. We’ll make sure.”
Their eyes held and finally, Reuben relaxed visibly.
“Come,” Sloane urged us quietly. “I’ve made hot chocolate. Let’s sit down for a while.”
We started walking back toward the porch, and I heard Hawk murmur, “I’m not really a hot cocoa kind of guy, honey.”
“I know, Hawk. Laced your cup with so much rum, you won't even taste the chocolate.”
“Love you,” he murmured into her hair, and she squeezed his waist.
It was such a normal moment in the midst of our grief, and it soothed me.
We had our hot chocolate, with varying quantities of rum, and everyone left. Olly sent me upstairs, and I lay in bed listening to him walk through the house, checking the doors. Making sure we were safe. I heard him grunt a little as he got into bed, and tried to stay to the side where I wouldn’t hurt his ribs. He promptly pulled me close and held me. I let my hand slide over the wrap around his ribs to rest on his belly.
“Why did you come, Annie? It would have been safer if you stayed with –” He cut himself off when I made a soft sound, but started again, “I came to and heard you outside. Never been so scared in my life.”
“He had a gun aimed at your head, Olly. If I hadn’t come, he would have shot you. I knew I could keep him away from you and Sven until the others arrived.”
“He could have killed you.”
“He didn’t.”
“Babe,” he said hoarsely.
“Why did you put the vest on?”
“Searched upstairs when I saw Toby through a window, so I ran downstairs and out through the mud room. The vest hung by the door, and I didn’t think. Guess it was the training, but I put it on, jacket on top like Hawk taught us.”
“It saved you,” I said.
“Yeah.”
We were both silent a while, thinking about how close the call had been for both of us, his father and the dog.
“You told Doc Anderson that Ma is proud of me. Is, not was. What did you mean?” he whispered into the darkness.
I told him about the words I’d heard the snow owl whisper, and his arms tightened around me.
“She saved me,” I said. “Cam pulled the trigger, and he would have killed me, but she saved me.”
He was silent for so long I wondered if he’d fallen asleep, but then I felt his chest move a little and realized he was crying silently. I got up on my side and caressed his wet cheek.
“Shit,” he said hoarsely when he’d calmed down. “Haven’t cried since she died.”
“I love you.”
I didn't know what else to say, but it must have been the right thing because suddenly his mouth moved with a smile under my hand.
“I have four broken ribs,” he replied.
I blinked.
“I know.”
“Wish I didn’t.”
“What?”
“I want to make love to you, right now. Want to slide my hands over your skin until this shitty day is forgotten, just for a little while. Need that connection and want you to feel who we are. Feel our love.”
“Olly…”
“But I have four broken ribs so we can’t.”
I thought about what he’d said and tried to work out some kind of logistics which might make it possible. He knew me and pushed me gently to lie down next to him.
“Not going to work.”
“We could –”
“Nope.”
“But –”
“I heal fast, babe. Raincheck.”
“Okay,” I whispered.
“Let’s sleep. It’ll be a few rough days.”
“We’ll manage,” I said, knowing we would.
“Yeah.”
Then we slept, and in the following days, we dealt with the aftermath of what had gone down on the lawn behind the house where I’d spend the rest of my life.
Hawker ran the investigation with a strong hand, making sure everything he wanted to be handled by the book was done so properly. He made the whole thing out to be about the drugs and made sure nothing slipped into the reports about the research center, Cam's delusions about his Norton legacy and ancient artifacts, or his obsession with me.
I went down to the police station to give my statement and was told to go straight into his office, but I stopped and stared. On the wall was the portrait Domenico had taken of Hawker and it was absolutely magnificent.
Hawk stood in the middle of Main Street in a black tee and faded jeans, with the town and the mountains behind him. He had his hands on his hips, and the sun glinted in the badge clipped to his belt. The handle of a gun he’d tucked into the back of his pants was barely visible, but it was there, and if you looked carefully, a throwing knife showed by his ankle. His long black hair moved a little with the wind, and he looked straight into the camera, defiantly, as if he dared anyone to come into his town. I remembered how I’d thought that Hawker would have been general over large armies if he’d lived a thousand years ago, and Nick had captured the essence of that in the photo.
“Wow,” I breathed, and a young police officer chuckled. “If we put that on a billboard by the town limits two things will happen.”
“What?” the officer asked.
“All criminals will turn around and run for their lives, and Sloane will have to buy a baseball bat.”
“What?”
Crap. The Sheriff himself had apparently stepped out of his office, and he’d heard. I felt Olly laugh silently next to me.
“Nothing,” I chirped. “Great picture, Hawk.”
“Jesus,” Hawker said and ushered me into his office.
A few days later Sloane showed me another photo Nick had taken, and I turned to her.
“Do you own a baseball bat?”
Hawk pushed out a strangled sound, but Sloane just laughed.
“I don’t. I also don’t show this to a lot of people.”
It was from the same session as the one in the police station, but Hawk was crouched down and held his son. He looked up at someone standing outside the picture, and there was so much unguarded love and happiness in Hawker’s face that my eyes burned.
“You should see the one he took of the Keeghans,” Sloane said. “I cried for ten minutes, and I am in no way a weepy woman.”
I decided to visit Mary. And bring tissues.
The days passed, and I was grieving for Byron, but it wasn’t the wild sorrow I’d felt the first time I lost him. Olly held me when I cried, my parents had pushed their tour forward, so they stayed with us a few days, and I felt mostly calm and in control.
“Da’s released today, Annie. My stitches are coming out, can you go down to Twin City to pick him up?” Olly asked and poured himself some coffee.
“Sure,” I said.
I'd known Sven was coming home, but I'd thought my parents said they'd get him.
“Great, take my car, and I'll use his.”
I reached for my phone and was about to call one of my brothers when it hit me.
I didn’t have to.
Cameron Strachlan was dead.
Professor Strachlan was dead.
Olly had threatened to maim and kill any criminal who even breathed in my presence.
I could just get in the car and drive wherever I wanted without checking in with anyone.
“Feel that, Annie?” Olly murmured.
“What?”
“That’s what being free feels like. Byron gave you that, babe.”
I swallowed and just kept breathing, letting the feeling wash over me.
“I love you, honey,” Ma said, and I turned to give her the words back.
She was standing behind Olly's chair and had leaned forward to wrap her arms around him. He looked supremely uncomfortable, and I realized she'd said the words to him, and not me.
“Ma,” I snapped. “Stop making Olly blush.”
“I’m not blushing,” he muttered.
Ma turned her head a little and said into his ear, “Oh, but you are, sweetie.”
“Rhys!” Olly shouted.
“Gotcha,” my father said as he walked in from the living room. Then he aimed a firm glare at my mother and said, “Morgana. Stop embarrassing Olly.”
I’d never heard my father talk sternly to anyone in my life, so it was a surprise to hear him sound very much like his cantankerous father. Ma straightened and glared at him, but Olly started grinning.
“I told you we’d rub off on you, Rhys,” he chuckled, and my father barked out laughter.
Then I got into Olly's gigantic car and drove down to Twin City to bring his father home. I sang out loud all the way there and stopped a few times at the side of the road to walk a few laps around the car, just because I could.
Sven was weak and tired, and he spent the first days resting on the couch with an equally weak and tired Toby lying on the floor next to him. Slowly, they both got better, though, so I decided it was time to tell him about Bee Harper’s owl and how it had saved my life.
His eyes filled with tears but they didn’t spill over, and he smiled through them.
“I loved her so much, Annie,” he said.
“I know.”
“She asked you to take care of us?”
“Yes.”
“Goddamned ridiculous woman,” he muttered with a soft chuckle. “As if we can’t take care of ourselves.”
I wasn’t entirely convinced that they could, but it didn’t matter. If he wanted to pretend, then I’d let him.
“Okay.”
“Why aren’t you in your office?” he asked and I froze.
I hadn’t been in my office since Byron died and I hadn’t thought they noticed.
“Impeccable timing, Da,” Olly said from the door.
Jinx and Kit was also there, Wilder was parking her car and someone else came down the road.
Oh, goody. They were all coming.
“We’ll change the name for you, Annie,” Jinx said calmly. “Give me the password and Kit and I will figure it out.”
I swallowed and stared at her. How the hell had she figured out that I couldn’t make myself start my computer up, using the name I’d given it. I couldn’t make myself say the name, not anymore. Not when I’d had him back those precious seconds.
