I don’t understand Alexis. She’s spent the last six months telling me to leave Chris, and now, when I’ve finally taken the first step, she wants me to go back. I don’t want to go back. It was easier being numb than feeling a momentary burst of happiness only to have it brutally ripped away.
“Why are you suddenly on his side?” My voice rises in pitch. “You’re the one who suggested I come out and have a drink with you and Rex. You’re the one who kept telling me to walk away.”
Her gaze flicks to the flowers and then back to me. “I didn’t know he’d come after you. I thought he didn’t care.”
“He cares about his pride more than he cares about me.”
Alexis leans over the table. “Then tell him that. Call him on all this dumb male ego BS. There are two of you in that marriage. If you want it to work, you need to take a risk. Yes, you might hear something you don’t want to hear, and yes, you might get hurt. But I think it’s worth taking the chance on a man who would ask twelve strangers to walk through a bar and give you flowers.”
“Your ex sent you flowers for months,” I point out.
“Yeah, but it was out of guilt because he was spending his nights cheating his ass off with his secretary like the cliché he is, instead of coming home to me and the kids. That’s not Chris. There are some things that can’t be forgiven, and some things that can. Are you sure you’re on the right side of this?”
“Ladies.” Rex returns with three drinks and gives the flowers a sideways glance. “Does this mean it’s just going to be two of us in my hotel suite tonight?”
Alexis stares at him, incredulous. “Did you think I invited Lily here for a threesome?”
Rex looks almost as dumfounded as her. “Well, yeah. You were both crushing on me all through high school. I thought I’d make all your fantasies come true.”
I should be mortified, but for some reason laughter bubbles up in my chest. “I didn’t think you even noticed us in high school.”
“Sure I noticed you,” Rex says. “You were both cute. Hot. And every time I turned a corner, there you were. If I hadn’t been so busy with the band, you would have been two lucky girls.” He covers my free hand with his and gives it a squeeze. “We can make that happen tonight.”
“You don’t think whoever just gave me all these flowers might object?”
“If he was serious, he’d be here.” Rex turns his head from side to side. “Doesn’t look like he’s around.”
“Actually . . .” Alexis’s eyes go wide. “He is.”
Chapter Eight
Chris
Resolved now that I’ve got a way forward, I make my way to Lily’s table. Rex has his back to me, but Alexis sees me coming. She leans over and whispers to Lily, but by the time Lily looks over, I’m standing at the table, my gaze fixed on the hand of the man who is touching my wife.
“Chris.” Emotions flicker across Lily’s face so fast I can barely make them out—surprise, wariness, confusion, and delight. Yes, I saw it, and I’m keeping it. She may be uncertain, but my Lily loves a grand gesture.
“I didn’t know you were here.” She hesitates, nibbles on her bottom lip. “I mean, I guessed the flowers were from you, but I didn’t think you’d show up.”
I almost didn’t, until I realized that was the old me—the Chris who didn’t go after what he wanted, whether it was working with his dad or taking over his father’s business or saying no to med school and college and pursuing his dream of becoming a carpenter. The old me wasted two weeks waiting for Lily to show up at the bus stop instead of going to find her.
“No point making a grand gesture if you don’t get to see how it’s received.” I glare at the dude holding Lily’s hand. Who the fuck touches a woman like he wants to get her in bed when she’s holding a bouquet of flowers she received from another man? And not just any man. Her husband.
“Who is this?”
“Rex Morgan.” She smiles sweetly. “He’s an old friend from high school.”
Old friend, my ass. Rex isn’t sitting here looking at my wife like she’s his next meal because he wants to reminisce about the good old days.
“You done shaking hands?” I grab Rex’s wrist and yank it away from Lily’s hand.
Unfortunately the rock star comes with the wrist. Rex pushes himself to his feet. “Do you know who I am?”
“Don’t care who you are. You’re touching my wife. That’s all I need to know.”
“We’re friends, dumb ass.” Rex brushes his long hair back over his shoulder.
I take in his rust-colored jeans, tight below the knee and poofing out around the thighs, the yellow band T-shirt, and the pointy leather shoes. Christ. If that’s what it takes to be a rock star, I’m glad to be working with my hands.
“We’re married, dumb ass.” I grab Rex’s T-shirt and haul him close so we’re nose to nose. “And unless you’re interested in playing your fucking guitar with your feet, you’re gonna keep your hands to yourself.”
Lily makes a sound, so soft I suspect only I can hear it. But it’s a sound that shouldn’t be shared outside the bedroom. It’s a moan that belongs only to me.
She likes watching me rough up her octopus friend. A lot.
“Sweetheart . . . ” I lick my lips, my voice dropping to a growl as I let Rex go. “Dance with me.”
Her gaze flicks to Alexis and then back to me. “No. But thank you for the flowers. They’re beautiful.”
“One for each month I was an ass.” I hold out my hand. Lily loves to dance more than anything. Our first night together, we went to a bar and danced until we were both so damn hot for each other we had sex in the alley because we couldn’t wait until we got home. “Come on.”
She shakes her head again and Alexis gives her a not-too-subtle kick under the table.
“Rex and I are going to the bar to get a drink.” Alexis holds out her hand to Rex. “Anyone need anything?”
I need my wife to forgive me, but I’m pretty sure that’s not on the menu.
“Twelve seconds,” I say softly. “One for each flower. Give me that long, and if you don’t want me after that, you can walk away.”
She stares at me for a long moment and then carefully places the flowers on the table. This time, when I take her hand, she follows me.
I pull her into the center of the crowded dance floor and slip my arm around her back. “Hands around my neck. If we only have twelve seconds, I want it to be the best twelve seconds we’ve ever had.”
Her arms around my neck are the best feeling in the world. I pull her close and we start to sway.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart. For tonight. For all the pain I caused you. For everything.” I rest my forehead against hers and slide my other arm around her. “I want to start over, if you’ll give me the chance.”
She stiffens and pulls away the tiniest bit. “What’s going to change? You don’t seem to get that we’re in this together. You aren’t responsible for keeping us both afloat. I’m here to catch you when you fall, just like you’ve always been there to catch me. It doesn’t make you less of a man. I never resented you when I had to take a second job. I never thought you were unworthy. I was happy I could find work and be there for you when you needed me. I couldn’t understand when you pushed me away. It hurt, Chris. It felt like my father all over again.”
I feel her words like a knife in the chest. It never once occurred to me that I was making her relive her biggest nightmare.
“I couldn’t understand it either.” I tighten my grip in case she runs away. “I felt so worthless I couldn’t imagine you would want me. I couldn’t love you that way, Lily, when I didn’t love myself. I was really messed up, but Aiden helped me see what was really going on.”
“Aiden?” Her head jerks up. “You mean Dr. Steadman?”
“A few months ago, he asked me if I knew anyone who could do some custom work for him. I’d been thinking of taking on some side jobs to keep up some of the skills I don’t use on-site, so I offered to tak
e a look. Turns out he wanted me to build him a BDSM dungeon with all sorts of equipment. He’s into that lifestyle.”
Far from looking shocked, she laughs. “Alexis told me all sorts of rumors. I guess they’re true. Rex was looking for a third tonight. I should point Alexis and him in Dr. Steadman’s direction.”
My brain short-circuits after the word third and I scan the bar for Rex, ready to do some damage to his pretty-boy face. “He wanted you and Alexis? The three of you? Tonight?”
“Calm down.” She pulls me close, her soft body pressing up against me. “There’s only one man I want in my bed—the one who gave me a dozen lilies.” Her lips quirk at the corners. “It’s a good thing you decided to show up. I might not have known for certain they were from you.”
My skin prickles in warning, despite her teasing tone. “Who else would have given you flowers?”
“You usually give me roses, not lilies. It threw me off.”
I press a kiss to her forehead. “You don’t like roses anymore. I only just realized that on your birthday when you didn’t like your gift. If I’d known, I would have had the beads made out of lilies or another flower you liked better.”
Lily stills. “The beads were made out of roses?”
“Not just any roses. The roses you dried and saved from the bouquet I gave you on our first date. I wanted you to know that the way I feel about you hasn’t changed.”
“Oh my God.” She covers her hand with her mouth. “I had no idea. I thought they were made of paper. I never wear beads, so I thought you didn’t know me anymore. I feel horrible. It was such a thoughtful gift. I’m so sorry I didn’t appreciate it.” She hugs me tight, and I check my watch.
“Does that mean you aren’t walking away? We are well past twelve seconds.”
Lily laughs softly. “I can’t walk away now after you did something so sweet. How about a bonus round? Tell me more about our kinky dentist, and then I’ll decide.”
“Aiden helped me see I have a dominant side that I’ve suppressed for years, and I needed to reconcile it with my feeling of being less of a man,” I tell her. “I need control, and over the years, I’d lost control of my life. The layoff tipped me over the edge.”
“You want to control me?” Her forehead creases in a frown.
“No, sweetheart. Like you said, we’re a team. But in the bedroom, I like to be in charge.”
She leans in to me and I can feel her muscles relax. “Is that what the box was about?”
“Aiden said he had an idea about how to help us find our way together again. He didn’t tell me what it was. If I’d known about the doctor stuff, I might have suggested something else.”
“I might have to switch dentists,” she says. “I don’t know if I can handle going to see him when he knows so much about us. I mean, what kind of conversation are we going to have? ‘Hi, Lily. Let’s have a look at your teeth. How are those handcuffs working out for you? Did Chris like his cock ring?’” Her body shakes with suppressed laughter. “Not going to happen.”
“Does that mean you don’t want to see the work I did for him in his basement?” I lean down and bury my face in her soft, silky hair. Her scent is intoxicating and I can’t believe I’ve lost a year of holding my wife.
“Maybe not, but if you do any other work, I’d love to see it.”
“Look down,” I whisper. “And then over at the stage.”
“This is you?” She stares at the hardwood floor. “Chris, it’s amazing. Why didn’t you tell me? And how come I never saw you? All those nights you said you were working late, I thought you were with Dan.”
“Dan let me use his shop to build it, and then I transported it here. We installed it when I knew you wouldn’t be working. I wanted to make sure it all turned out. I didn’t want to fail you again. But now I’m thinking I might start up on my own. Your brother’s been downsizing his company, so he’s good with that.”
Her face brightens. “You’ve got all that business experience to run the company plus your skill as a carpenter. It’s going to be a great success.”
“Not without you.” I pull her against my chest and rest my chin on top of her head. “Things might be tight for a bit when I first start up. I need to know you’ll be good with that.”
“I’ll get a third job.”
“You won’t have time for a third job.” My pulse quickens, heat spreading over me. “We have a year to make up in the bedroom, and a box of toys to get us started.”
Lily gives me a slow, seductive smile. “Why don’t we start now? I didn’t change when I left. There’s a naughty nurse hiding under my clothes.”
I had forgotten she left the house still wearing her lingerie, but now that she’s reminded me, there is no way we’ll make it home.
“Naughty nurse,” I whisper, sliding my hand inside her shirt to finger the silky material underneath.
“Very naughty.” She grinds herself against me. “What are you going to do about it?”
“Isn’t there an alley out back . . . ?”
Chapter Nine
Lily
Thump. Thump. Thump.
My heart jumps when I hear someone pounding on the front door. I can’t imagine who it could be at this time of night. Chris has his own keys and said he would call when he was on his way home from work, with more instructions for the role-play game he wants to play tonight.
After leaving the alley the other night, Chris and I went home and talked for hours, curled up on the couch under a blanket, our arms and legs twined together. We shared our hopes and dreams for the future, our longings, secret desires, and fantasies. Somewhere between the time we got home and the crack of dawn, we laid bare all the fear and anger that had driven us apart until there was nothing left but the connection forged one morning at a bus stop when the 401 drove away, leaving me in the arms of the man I was born to love.
A man with a delicious dominant side and a love of role play.
Tonight is Chris’s night. He wants to show me the side of himself that had been stifled by his mother’s expectations and his own fear of failure. He wants to play a game.
I race down the stairs and through the living room to the front door, tightening the belt of my silk robe around me. Chris instructed me to put on something sexy and seductive and wait for further instructions in bed. I wasn’t expecting visitors.
A quick check through the peephole reveals a police uniform and my heart leaps in my chest. Did something happen to Chris on his way home? Have I lost him after only finding him again?
“Is everything okay?” My words catch in my throat when I see Chris on the front step, his face cold and hard like it was every night over the last year. But instead of his work vest and coveralls, he’s wearing a police uniform: dark blue shirt with gold buttons, a shiny gold police badge, and a domed blue hat. He has a utility belt strapped around his waist containing everything from a stick to handcuffs and from radios to . . . a gun?
“Ms. Lily Meyers?” His gaze travels down my body and then up again, his eyes widening with undisguised interest when I pull the robe tight over my breasts.
“Yes.” I take a deep breath and then another, settling back into my maiden name. I’ve got this. He’s the cop and I’m . . . not sure who he wants me to be, but I have a feeling he wants me to be bad because no one puts a good girl in cuffs.
“Officer Taylor with the Revival police. We’ve had a report of a theft. The complainant, Chris Anderson, says he was waiting for the bus, and you seduced him, lured him into a back alley for sex, and then stole his wallet when he was . . . incapacitated.”
My mouth opens and closes again. Anderson is Chris’s middle name and he’s describing our first date, except it didn’t happen quite that way. The day I finally returned to the bus stop, he gave me the flowers and made me promise to meet him for dinner at a local tapas bar. We had an instant connection. One thing led to another, and we wound up having sex in the back alley behind the bar where we’d danced all night. Unfortun
ately, we weren’t very discreet, and Chris lost his wallet when we had to make a quick getaway. Lucky for him, a good Samaritan turned in it in the next day.
“I’m afraid you’ve heard wrong. I don’t follow men. They follow me.” I figure I’ll give him some attitude, play the high-society entitled woman his mother always wanted him to marry. I move to close the door, and he grabs it with a heavy hand and pulls it wide open.
“Then you won’t mind me coming inside to check for the missing wallet.” He shoulders his way in, slams and locks the door behind him. Although this is the man I’ve known for the last fifteen years, he seems much bigger in the small vestibule, and very imposing in his police uniform. His biceps bulge from beneath the sleeves and the shirt stretches tight over his broad chest. The handcuffs clank slowly as he walks, and a thrill of excitement shoots through me as I contemplate what he might do with them if I don’t comply with his demands.
“Don’t you need a warrant?” I put a hand on my hip, lift my chin so he knows this won’t be easy.
He leans against the door and folds his arms across his chest and studies me intently, his gaze now dark and dangerous, as if everything changed the moment he closed the door.
“I’ve got a warrant for you.” Without taking his eyes off me, he cups his groin and gives it a lewd tug. “Right here.”
My heart thuds wildly in my chest, as if a bad cop really had invaded my home with malicious intent. I spin around and run through the living room to the kitchen, where I have the best chance of finding a weapon.
Chris laughs, a cruel mocking sound, and his boots thud across the carpet. “Where are you running to, sweet thing?” He stops in the doorway of the kitchen, blocking my only exit. “The way I see it, you have two choices. One, I take you down to the station and charge you with theft and public indecency. I strip off those pretty clothes, put you in a jumpsuit, and toss you in jail with the dregs of Indianapolis. Or two, you get down off your high horse and convince me it was all a big misunderstanding.”
Naughty Desires Page 6
