by catt dahman
I was disgusted and tired. Nothing helped me in any way but were just more mysteries. The entire place felt wrong and evil, but I was no longer afraid. “If I can, I shall kill every one of these monsters possible. I am not a part of this, for I am your enemy.”
I also considered that probably I had fallen asleep and this was a dream or that my mind slipped and I fantasized my darkest fears.
Droom walked back along the path, “So be it. If in your lifetime, the stars align correctly, then He will awake and return. Perhaps you will face Him yet.”
I shrugged.
“Join the others, and your time shall start again.”
“Droom? Is this over? Is this place going away and taking the shark with it?”
“Not as long as He dreams. You should hope a new dream occurs before all of your friends die tonight, not that they matter.”
I can say I did not care for Droom at that moment. In a fit of spite, before I joined my friends and time caught up, I went to the pit and dropped stones down, throwing them and rolling the heavy ones. I crushed every one of the worms. Had I been able to light a fire, I would have burned the island, but with so much rock, I had little chance.
The worms’ screaming hurt my head and made me vomit, but I was pleased when they were crushed.
“Oh, I do have one more question. Are you inclined to answer?”
“I must, Seeker. It is my duty.”
I beckoned him to follow me. I passed the temple, wishing I could topple it. “Is that the ‘him’ you speak of?”
“Yes. That is a citadel in which he dwells.”
“A squid god? You would do better to worship one who was at least more formidable. Part lion or bear. Ridiculous,” I said. He did not react, and I wondered at the fact that although I disrespected him and his god, he showed no care; it actually emboldened me.
I thought of Mr. Stead and Daniels and the fiery Maggie Brown. Sweet Jenny Cavendar and brave John Morton. I must add that my stomach pained me as well. I say this because one must understand that I was in a very poor mood.
“Here, I have a question about him.” I pointed at the gigantic shark.
“Carcharocles Megaladon.”
I clenched my teeth. The bastard knew Latin and yet could not explain anything to me in simple terms. That made me sure I was about to ask the right question. “Look, see, it is something I want to understand. I must know this….”
Droom leaned over the cliff with me to look at the shark circling below.
With a mighty lunge, I pushed him. He made some sort of shocked noise but flew over the edge as I fell to the ground, narrowly missing falling over as well. Less than a second later, there was a splash, and as I peeked over, the big fish swam over and gulped him down.
“My question is: Do you think he would eat you? And we know the answer now. For the first time, I have a certain response.”
I crawled backwards and got to my feet. Ignoring the temple, I walked back along the path. Looking at the stone shark, I almost giggled, knowing Droom must now be there as well. I hoped so anyway. I joined the rest, and as soon as I was alongside them, time caught up, and we walked along, as if nothing had happened. For them, no time had passed. The alternate times were certainly strange.
I had seen and learned about an entire world that normally was hidden. And I knew now that I was the Seeker. My life would never be the same.
Chapter Fourteen : Boat C
Grimes and Merle had the boat drained and ready to load within minutes. They loaded the women with children first, and then the other women, cast off, and jumped into the lifeboat to get as far away from the mist-covered island as possible.
“I said it was a mistake to go there,” Peter Cavendar said, “looking at it makes my head ache, and I feel sick.”
Several had vomited already.
“We were there too long. The vapors have made us ill. Once we have clean air and are far away from the vile place, we shall feel better,” Jenny said.
“Exactly,” Howard agreed.
“Are you all right, Howard? Your face is deathly pale,” John said, concern lining his features. “Hand him a bit of water.”
Grimes handed a bottle to Howard, “Not too much.”
Howard drank, and then handed the bottle to Lilia and Jenny as well. When it was passed around, it quickly emptied. “My stomach pains me at times. It will pass,” Howard said.
“Are we safe now?” Jenny asked.
“Not quite. I think we should hit the shark in the eye if he comes too close. I mean if he returns and follows us.”
The ship they had seen before was no longer there. Howard hoped that when it vanished, it had not taken the lifeboat with it.
Tables, chairs, and trash bobbed on the surface of the glassy water. More bodies floated, but the moaning had ended, and no one called for help. Enough time had passed that it was impossible for anyone to be alive now.
Crewman Merle muttered to himself often. He refused to speak to anyone now and kept his eyes on the island. When Grimes tried to force him to look away, Merle grew violent, slapping his superior’s hands away and punching. His eyes followed the bird-bat things that flew from the trees and circled the spot the pit of worms would be.
With no warning, Merle stood and leaped into the ice water, swimming hard for the island. Grimes ordered him to return, and the women screamed, but he never looked back and swam all the way back. As we rowed farther, the last we saw him he was scrambling up through the oozy sludge and struggling to stand on the stone path.
What he wanted, no one could guess. Why he had chosen to return, everyone speculated. What would happen to him there, no one dared imagine. Howard simply said that Merle must have lost his mind and been tricked by the powers of the island. He encouraged the rest not to look upon the misty land.
“He seeks to know, but he is not the Seeker,” Howard muttered cryptically.
Lilia stood and traded places to sit between Howard and Jenny as she was growing fonder of him. Howard held her close. When the Quartermaster handed over another bottle of water, Lilia reached for it, mimicking to Howard that she would drink it all, teasing him sweetly.
She was half-standing when the shark came around again and bumped the life raft. Lilia screamed and fell over the side.
“We have you, Lilia,” Peter Cavendar yelled.
Jenny reached way out over the edge, almost falling in to grab for the girl. John held her legs, or Jenny would have tipped into the sea. John had grown to admire Jenny’s moxie and honesty; she was no fake and no weakling, but a strong, wonderful woman. He knew if she fell in, he would dive in after her. Her life was that important to him.
Howard reached for Lilia, shoving everyone out of his way. “Lilia, swim. Swim, dear girl. Please….”
Lilia, despite the pain of the cold water, dug in, and tried to get back. It wasn’t far, and she was headed to Howard, the most heroic, brilliant, sweet man she knew, despite the fact that they could not speak a common language.
“No. Oh no…damn you,” Howard yelled at the megaladon. “Swim, Lilia.”
Jenny, brave and bold, beat at the water to distract the beast, “Come on; leave her alone.”
Howard broke an oar and held it as a weapon. Days ago, he had come aboard the Titanic with trepidation and fears, had been shy, and reluctant to make friends, and now he stood in a lifeboat, ready to battle a gigantic fish, unafraid and sure of himself.
Lilia was almost within arm’s distance and could be aboard in two seconds, but she stopped swimming, and her mouth formed an O shape.
“Lilia?” Howard called.
She looked confused. A tug at her right leg mystified her. Had she become tangled in something? There was the pulling sensation and then nothing. She reached into the cold water to see what was wrong. As she slid her hands down, her right leg ended at the thigh. Pulling her dress up, she felt warm fluid, sharp bone shards, and rubbery, tattered flesh.
She looked at Howard in sheer panic. The w
ater bubbled red.
“Come on, Lilia.”
She kicked with one leg and pulled herself to the boat. Peter Cavendar and Grimes yanked her up. As she left the water, the accursed monster snapped her left hand, teasing, as he could have taken all of her. He just wanted her to suffer and so only took the tiniest nibble.
This time she screamed.
Jenny jumped up and ripped her chemise off and tore it into strips. In short time, they had a tourniquet around Lilia’s upper thigh and around her wrist. Jennie called for any blankets anyone could spare, and they covered Lilia tightly. Howard held her in his arms.
Grimes, in a fury, took the broken oar and leaned out, “Come get me you son of a bitch. Fecker. Come on.”
The shark swam by. With a mighty leap, Grimes jumped at the shark, almost landing upon its back, but his position was strangely perfect. With hesitation, Grimes angrily shoved the broken end right into the shark’s eye, and the membrane broke, spilling his eye into the water.
The meg opened her mouth, and everyone could have sworn she roared with pain and anger. It disoriented the beast for a second, and Peter Cavendar, holding another broken oar, stabbed the shark in the other eye. Both oars went deep into the creature’s head. It was an impossible, feat but they did it.
“It is way too big,” Jenny complained.
“Grimes, get back here,” Cavendar yelled.
Grimes ignored that, and as the shark floundered a bit, confused, he used all his weight to shove the broken wood deeper and into the beast’s brain. Slowly, it slipped in, but Grimes was flung all around. He returned to press the oar deeper and was tossed again; then, the shark turned, caught Grimes with his tail, and slapped the man through the air.
Grimes’ neck broke, and he was dead before he hit the water again.
“I am next,” Cavendar said. “We have to take the chance. Mr. Morton, I beg you to care for my daughter, and if you and she should grow closer, you have my blessings.”
“Father, no.”
Peter Cavendar did not get a chance to leap out of the boat. As it was, the shark began to thrash and twitch horrifically, splashing everyone. Disoriented, the megaladon stopped swimming and froze in place. When a shark stops swimming, he sinks.
Everyone on the boat watched the shark sink below the surface.
A cheer went up.
“We did it, Howard,” John said.
Howard raised his face. Tears had dropped from his eyes onto Lilia’s face, but her eyes were closed, and she was still. “She did not make it,” he said.
The next officer Rowe took over and had them dig in with the oars and get as far away from the island, frozen bodies, and bloodied water as they could. One of the women sang a song in what may have been a Hungarian dialect; it was a sad, but hopeful song, and while no one understood the words, they felt the sentiment.
In a little while, Rowe suggested they let Lilia go, as they were crowded. Howard wrapped her in a blanket, tied the bundle with a bit of rope, and let her sink.
“A shame. Must have been when the funnel fell, yes? Terrible shame,” Peter Cavendar said.
Howard looked up, “Pardon?”
“Her injuries, she must have been hit by the funnel when it fell. I do not think she said, did she? Never awoke?”
“I wonder who she was?” Jenny asked.
“Lilia,” Howard said.
Jenny nodded, “A pretty name. You knew her then? Good.”
Howard turned to the women who had first told the stories about Stead and Daniels and asked what happened and how they were saved.
She shrugged and pantomimed that the men had unlocked gates, rushed them up the decks, and she said many had perished in the sea. She did not mention fish attacking or deadly worms.
“And sharks?”
“No, Sir. Sharks are never in this area,” Rowe said.
Howard looked back for the yellowish island, but there was no glow and no land in sight. No one remembered anything now since they had rowed far away. Only he remembered.
Because he was the Seeker.
And the landmass and the other world were gone because HE, whoever he was, had stopped dreaming of them and was dreaming of some other place.
It was over.
Howard wept.
Chapter Fifteen : What Happened Afterwards…
The ship, Carpathia, dodged icebergs and forced her speed to her limits, finally arriving to take in the survivors. She then faced ice fields, fog banks, and severe thunderstorms before arriving in New York. The finest ladies of Carpathia and Titanic cared for women of second and third class like sisters, and the crew worked around the clock to make the survivors more comfortable.
The White Star Line sent four ships to recover the bodies of those who perished. Over 1,500 were lost, but they could only find three hundred thirty bodies. The lost bodies were a mystery that no one could explain. Where had the bodies gone? How could more than 1,200 bodies simply vanish? No one but Howard knew.
Maggie Brown, always a human rights’ activist, was rescued from Lifeboat Six by the ship the Carpathia; she later gave medals to every member of the ships’ crew for valiant actions in their rescue and treatment.
On the Carpathia, she set up and led a benefit for the poor survivors of the disaster and shrugged off every mention of being called a heroine.
“I am high and dry,” is all she would say, her smile beaming. She kept in touch with Howard, the Behrs, the Cavendars, and all she had worked with to help save people aboard Titanic.
Maddy Astor had no clear memories from the time she boarded boat four until she was aboard the Carpathia. For reasons unknown, five months pregnant, she lost all memory of those hours.
She gave birth to John Jacob Astor VI and raised him within the Astor mansion until four years later when she married a childhood friend and gave up her multi-million dollar trust and the family home. Maddy Astor and her new husband, William Dick, had two more sons.
Her second marriage ended in divorce in 1933 and four months later, Maddy married an Italian boxer and divorced him five years later. While she sometimes wrote to Maggie Brown, she never spoke to the others again. It was said she never lost the sad look in her eyes.
Helen Monypenny and Karl Behr married less than a year later and had four children together. Howard, the Cavendars, and John Morton attended the wedding, and to her delight, Jenny Cavendar caught the bouquet of lilies of the valley and orchids.
John and Jenny were already engaged, and a few months later, they wed as well. Peter Cavendar and John Morton combined ranching and land and built their ‘MC’ or ‘Mac Ranching’ into the largest cattle business in Texas.
Howard served as best man at the wedding.
The Mortons had six children, never took another cruise, and Peter Cavendar was most happy as a grandfather.
Charles Lightoller was hailed a hero and was the last survivor to leave the lifeboats and be taken aboard the Carpathia. During inquiries, he defended the shipping line, Captain Smith, his fellow officers, and crewmen and never placed blame on anyone; he blamed the sea.
He did push for ships to carry more lifeboats, to practice drills, and to better train officers in lifeboat loading. His recommendations were taken and were enacted.
He commanded ships in World War I and was several times over awarded the Distinguished Service Cross. He retired as a full commander. After retiring, he bought a yacht and was recognized again for his bravery in using his own ship to rescue seaman during the Dunkirk Evacuation in the 1940s.
Many of the men whom he saved that night the Titanic sank kept in touch until his death.
Howard had an eventful life. After an unsuccessful marriage and divorce, Howard moved to Providence to live with his aunts, and after all the years of replaying the disaster at sea and what he had learned, he began to understand what he was meant to do.
Using his images of the past, he wrote short stories, novellas, and letters that totaled in the tens of thousands. He revealed everything h
e learned from Droom: forbidden knowledge is dangerous, and humans are often products of fate and cannot alter their journeys. He explained alien races and discouraged learning about places and times beyond earth itself, warning that at any time, chaos could rule the world.
The literary circuit loved his writings and wondered where such vivid and horrific imaginings came from; he said they were not only stories, but also cautionary tales.
As his stomach worsened and the cancer spread, he felt death was close, and he called for John and Jenny Morton to come to his bedside on March 15, 1937.
They found Howard was pale as cream, in acute agony, painfully thin, and malnourished as he could take no food. The morphine helped some, but in waves, he cried out and writhed. When the next bout of pain eased, he was able to smile a little.
“Howard, will you eat anything?” Jenny asked.
“I think not. Thank you,” he said. After a while, he agreed to take some tea and drank it slowly, enjoying the weak brew taken with a little milk.
“We’ll sit here with you, Howard, as long as you wish,” John Morton said.
“I do not feel you will have to sit here long. Do you know why I asked you to come?”
“Because we are friends,” Jenny responded.
“You see, in this universe, there is no care for our welfare. There is no concern out there for our doings and lives. I wanted two people with me, as I pass on, who genuinely care about me. Strangely, I feel at peace with you both here.”
Jenny clasped his hand.
“You do not remember what I learned that night, but I will say this, Droom was not his real name. I had so many hints but did not understand. His true name was…Chaos.”
“Howard, you know we care about you,” Jenny said.
“And I care for you, my two best friends. When they say I was mad, tell them I was not. Please.”
“Of course.”
“You see we are incapable of understanding life. We have no comprehension. In that, we are weak. We are but a tick of a clock. A fleeting memory. We are but a dream. We are a second in an eon.” Howard’s voice grew quieter. Jenny thought to ask is he needed more pain medication, but his grip was lessening.
