In the Stars

by Joan Duszynski

  Tara looks over at me with a big smile. “Oh, you have never seen this, Caroline? It isn’t like when he talks in This Means War, no, but at least his shirt is off a lot. I do love the accent, though.”

  We both start giggling, and Adam lets out a huff. “Great, I pick it for the fighting and now I have to listen to you two grovel over his body all night.”

  Tara leans her head over on Adam’s shoulder looking up into his face. “Awe it’s ok, Adam, we will still pay attention to you too. I promise.”

  I see Adam’s hand actually flinch some, like he wants to reach out for her once Tara’s head hits his shoulder. As soon as Tara’s words are out, though, she has raised her head again, and is looking back at the screen. Adam actually has a slight look of disappointment on his face, as he glances over and notices me looking at him. He gives me a very weak smile, and then looks back at the TV.

  When the movie is about through, and I am about four shots in, my phone rings. Of course, it is Kyle’s ringtone Raleigh had set. I really need to change that. Adam and Tara both look over at me. Adam’s face is all scrunched up with his what the hell look, while Tara starts laughing. “I thought you said you were going to change that, Caroline? That shit really is funny, though.” Adam still looks confused and I get up from the couch, so I can go answer the phone in my own room. “Don’t worry, Adam, I will explain it to you while she goes and talks with Kyle.”

  Tara gives me a wink as I look back over my shoulder, and answer the phone. “Hey Kyle; you off from work now?”

  “Yes; finally. I hate it when you are off and I have to work. I really would like to have seen you before I head to my family’s home tonight.”

  “Sorry Kyle, it would have been nice. We will both be so stuffed tomorrow, we won’t be able to think straight, and then there will only be one more day of waiting after that. I will be with you all day Saturday, and I can’t wait to hear and watch you guys up on stage.”

  “That is still too long, and no amount of over eating will keep me from thinking about you, Caroline. I miss you. When Saturday comes, you just make sure I am the main guy you are watching up on that stage. Tim tends to be a bit of a man whore, as you women say, so ignore his uncontrollable flirting that I know he will have with you.”

  I can’t help but laugh. “Tim, man whore got it. So you are staying at your parents tonight and all day tomorrow for the full Thanksgiving event, right?”

  “Yeah it is kind of a family tradition to be there for breakfast, and then the whole over the top late lunch. You said you will be at your grandparents with your family all day, right?”

  “Yes. I haven’t decided yet if I am going to drive back tomorrow night, or wait till Friday morning. I’d rather be back here when I wake back up, but it all depends on how I feel. This is my first night in my new room, so it is pretty exciting.”

  There is a pause of silence for a moment. “I wish I could spend your first night there in bed with you, Caroline. Did you get all your stuff settled away?”

  Now it is my turn to pause. These are the types of things he expresses to me, letting me know I mean something important to him. Yet, I still can’t decide fully where my feelings stand. I just try and avoid his statement as best as possible with my response. “I have brought it all inside, and put away a couple things. Adam is here with Tara and me, so we are all celebrating the move. He brought pizza, and we are having a few drinks and watching a movie. I do believe I am going to have to slow down the drink part, though. I want the food to be my problem tomorrow; not the big head I could wake up with.”

  “You guys have fun then, and make sure you drink plenty of water before you go to sleep, too. That should help. I will try and get hold of you sometime tomorrow, but I hope you have a great Thanksgiving. I know I have become very thankful for you, Caroline.”

  Damn it, there he goes again. What is wrong with me? Why can’t I care about this man, unconditionally? Truth be told, though, I do care about him; I’m just not sure about how strongly. “I am thankful for you too, Kyle. Have a great Thanksgiving, and I am sure we will talk sometime tomorrow.”

  When I walk back into the family room, Adam looks up at me with a big smile. “So did you and your ding-a-ling have a nice talk, Caroline?” I can feel my face turn red as I walk back over to the island, grabbing another slice of pizza and one more shot.

  “Thanks Tara for explaining that, obviously, so well to Adam. I appreciate that. Yes Adam, we had a nice talk; thank you for asking.”

  Tara leans into Adam again, and starts laughing. I notice she has another fresh shot in front of her, and Adam has another slice of pizza and a fresh beer. “Sorry Caroline, you know it just had to be told. That has to be one of the best ring tones ever.” Adam throws his arm up on the back of the couch behind Tara, and they both suddenly seem very comfortable. Did the whole talk of ding-a-lings suddenly change the whole comfort level between the two of them? At least I could be of assistance in some way, I guess.

  Throughout the night, and one more drink each, we decide Adam really does need to stay over and sleep on the couch, of course. Also, the fact stands that he really did pack a bag for just such an occasion, so he could head straight to his family’s place from here tomorrow. When we are all ready to go to sleep, Adam decides to take a shower first so he is ready to head out early.

  I notice Tara glancing several times toward the bathroom door while he is in there. She is trying to busy herself with getting sheets and a pillow for him, but I notice her tucking her hair several times. It also seemed to take longer than necessary for her to grab the linens down from the closet right outside the bathroom door.

  I help her lay the sheet out onto the couch and catch her hand with mine for a second, causing her to jump and look up at me. “So Tara, you wouldn’t happen to be daydreaming about a certain naked male right on the other side of that wall, rubbing himself down right now, would you?”

  Tara’s face turns blood red, and she smacks me across the arm. “Oh my god Caroline, did you really just say that? Do you really think he is rubbing himself down right now?” Her hand then flies up to her mouth, and I think somehow her face turns even redder. “Oh shit, that has to be the alcohol talking. Please don’t say anything, Caroline. I really do like Adam, and, yes, maybe a few things have crossed my mind when it comes to him. I just don’t want to ruin our friendship, though. I know now, right after Andrew, would not be the time to start something with Adam.”

  “Your secret is safe with me, Tara. Even though the two of you aren’t really that good at keeping it a secret when it comes to your attraction for each other.”

  “You really think he is attracted to me? God I hope I don’t go screwing things up. I need to just get myself out there some first, and then if things are meant to be between Adam and I, then maybe. Speaking of not being that good at hiding an attraction for one another, Caroline; you and Eric aren’t very good at it either. Don’t worry, though, I will keep that between us as well.”

  Now I feel my face turn red. “Ok, so have I really made it that noticeable that I find him more than just attractive? I have to tell you, and I hope this doesn’t sound bad. I know I have been going out with Kyle, and trust me when I say he is great to me in all ways. Yet, my damn thoughts keep going back to Eric for some reason when I am not with Kyle. Isn’t that just messed up? I mean, what is wrong with me?”

  “We all have things we need to work through, Caroline. Just try your best to be honest with yourself, and others, throughout the process. I say this, but obviously it is a lot easier said than always done.”

  We hear the bathroom door open, and out walks Adam past the steam leaving the bathroom. His hair is still wet and messy all over his head, and he is wearing long mesh shorts but no shirt. I look over at Tara, and notice her mouth has dropped open. Adam hasn’t looked up at us yet, so I reach over quickly and push up on her jaw to close it for her. She shakes her head, and looks over at me all wide eyed. I just smile at her and mouth “good luck�
�.

  Adam stops by the couch as he and Tara just stare at each other for a moment, and then he raises his arm, running his fingers through his wet hair. This makes his stomach muscles and biceps tighten up some more, and I swear it looks like Tara’s legs go a little weak. Adam also has several tattoos that, of course, I knew nothing about. I had seen part of one before peeping from the upper underside of his arm, but I never had asked about it. Not only does he have that one, but he has one across his other shoulder that runs down the side of his arm and back some and one more down his ribs. They look very detailed, and I don’t want to get caught staring, so I can’t really tell what they all are of.

  I loudly clear my throat, and they both look over at me. “Ok Adam, so your bed for the night is all ready. You think you will need anything else?”

  He looks over at Tara and smiles. “No, this will work just fine; thank you both. I will set the alarm on my phone, so if I am out and gone in the morning when you two wake up, thank you again for a great night, and have a great Thanksgiving.”

  I walk over to him and give him a quick hug. “Goodnight Adam. It was a lot of fun; we will have to do it again soon.”

  Once he releases me, he reaches out to hug Tara. She pauses for a second, and then steps in for her hug. This isn’t their first time hugging, but it is there first time hugging while Adam is shirtless. Their hug seems to last longer than mine, and I notice his hand rubbing small circles on her back. They pull away and Tara has a shy smile on her face, looking up through her lashes at Adam. “Goodnight Adam. I really am glad you joined us tonight. It was a lot of fun.”

  I walk to kitchen and grab a couple Tylenol and a bottle of water, as Adam lies down and Tara heads back to her room. Once I get the Tylenol down, I head to the bathroom to brush my hair and teeth. When I reach my room, I shut the door and lean my back against it, looking around. I take in the space, genuinely realizing for the first time that for the next several months, at least, that it is all mine. I can’t remember the last time I felt so happy. I change into one of my dad’s old NASA shirts, turn off the light, and run and jump into my bed and spread out all my limbs in excitement for all my new space. I crawl under my covers, lay my head onto my pillow, and fall fast asleep.

  I WAKE UP the next morning with only a slight pain in my head, and a faint memory of a strange dream. I am pretty sure I was a wish bone, and Kyle and Eric each had ahold of an end of me, pulling to see who got the bigger half. What the hell is it with my brain and these crazy tugging dreams? I find myself struggling to remember who actually won, but come up with nothing. Then again, who wants to remember being snapped in half, right?

  I stretch, and let my eyes take in my space again. The sun is up, but it isn’t beaming through my blinds, and it is still dark enough in my room that I could sleep even longer… if I had the time. As it is, I am actually waking up late and better hurry up and get ready. I dig through my bags, getting clothes out for the day. I gather my shower bag and all my extra bathroom items to take to my bathroom as well. I never really finished unpacking anything last night, so I still have to take care of all this sometime soon. As of right now, my space kind of screams sloppy, lazy chic resides here.

  I peek out my door, and listen for Adam or Tara and hear nothing, so I dart across the hallway real quick to the bathroom. I shower and shave within fifteen minutes, and take only another twenty minutes finishing up getting ready. I hang my towel on the hook and walk out, headed back toward my room. I almost run into Tara when I exit the bathroom. She is already dressed, and looking very well put together, as usual. I do notice her eyes look a little heavier than normal, but other than that, she looks perfect.

  “Hey girl; glad I got to see you before you left. How are you feeling?”

  Tara shrugs her shoulders slightly and smiles. “Not too bad, considering I had several shots and only one slice of pizza last night. I really need to eat more when I am drinking. You think I can play it off today? I mean, I don’t look hung over or anything, do I?”

  I start laughing. “No. Honestly Tara, I don’t know how you do it but you always look good. Even our first crazy morning, considering everything you looked pretty damn good then too.”

  “Uggg that morning; at least I can say it brought you into my life. Other than that, though, I try and just forget about it. Glad I look ok, though; Eric should be here any minute to pick me up.”

  I feel my stance weaken, and my legs start tingling. “Wait, Eric is coming here? You aren’t driving to your parents?”

  “He said he would just take me back and forth. I think he might just be trying to catch me by seeing if the house was trashed. He knew you were moving in yesterday, and I jokingly said something about partying it up. I already took out the trash, and cleaned up where Adam had slept last night. He had cleaned the kitchen up, actually, and was gone when I woke up this morning. So I just had to put the sheets in the dirty clothes and get the trash out; he made it easy.”

  “It really was nice having Adam here; he is fun. Sorry I didn’t help with anything, though. My room is even a mess. I promise, as soon as I get back, I will get all that straight. I won’t try and turn your place into a dump, and I promise to help with keeping the whole house straight. So far, I am not doing very well at that at all.”

  The doorbell rings, and I actually jump. “Wow Caroline, are you nervous? Don’t worry; I know you will help with everything around here. Last night was supposed to be fun, and that is what we had. I better get the door, before Eric thinks I am trying to hide everything under the couch real quick.”

  Tara walks for the front door, and I shut myself into my bedroom really fast. Unlike Tara and her well thought out Thanksgiving attire, I am in a two toned brown sweater and jeans. Nothing special to speak of, and I didn’t really spend much time on my hair and makeup. My hair is still pretty wet, actually. I hear the door open, and then I hear his voice. My god, I don’t even have to see him; just the sound of his voice has my hormones flooding me.

  I hear them talking some, and can tell his voice is getting closer to my room. I grab up my phone, purse, bracelet, and my boots. I sit on the edge of my bed, trying to put my boots on, but my hands are actually shaking. I look up to the sound of my door knob turning, and Tara yelling something. The door opens, and there he stands in my door frame with all his godliness. I just freeze with my leg up in the air, still from trying to pull my boot on. “What the hell, Eric!? Not only is this not your house, but this is now Caroline’s room. You have no right just walking in here. What if she was changing her clothes, or with a guy, or something?”

  I see his lip twitch when she says this, and I finally release my boot, letting my foot fall back down to the ground. “Hello Caroline, we were getting ready to go and I wanted to say I hope you have a nice Thanksgiving. Tara said she wasn’t going to bother you, or make you come out, so I figured I would take care of it myself. Even though the you getting dressed, might not have been too bad of a thing, I am glad I didn’t walk in on you and a guy. I will be sure to knock from now on. Sorry for the intrusion.”

  Tara is standing behind Eric, staring daggers into his back with her arms crossed over her chest. I once again, feel pretty numb, but somehow manage to pull the zipper up on my boot and stand. “It probably would be best if you knock and wait for a response from now on, Eric. I guess I will be sure to start locking my door if privacy is needed. Thank you, though, I guess, for wanting to wish me a nice Thanksgiving. I hope you and your family have a great day as well, and drive safely.”

  Tara pushes past Eric, and walks in to give me a hug. “God Tara, I am so sorry. I swear he doesn’t normally act this persistent. Maybe he was just disappointed he didn’t find the drugs, alcohol, and naked bodies lying all around the house when he came in.” I hear Eric let out a growl of irritation, and I can’t help but look up at him again. That sound, that growl coming from him, just did all new things to my insides that I didn’t even know were possible.

  I can’t imagine
how red my face is right now. Not from embarrassment this time, but, once again, from arousal. I actually stutter a little as I speak again. “I think I might be starting to get use to it, Tara; it is ok. See you tomorrow most likely, alright?”

  Eric is still just staring right at me, as Tara walks past him, nudging him on the way out. I grab my purse, and drop my phone into it. I get up and walk toward my door with my bracelet in hand, trying to hook it. Eric reaches out and gently takes the bracelet from me. “Here; the least I can do is help you get this on.” He wraps the bracelet back around my wrist, and gently opens and closes the clasp. He twists it around on my wrist so the clasp is facing down, but his hand doesn’t leave my arm. His eyes slowly lift, and with all their green intensity he looks right into mine. The chill bumps have once again made their presence, but I don’t think he noticed, since I have on the long sleeves.

  “Well, have a good day, Caroline.”

  I can’t help the smile that is now on my face. “You too, Eric, and thank you.”

  “It really is good to see that dimple again, Caroline. I really like it. I am going to have to try harder and make you smile more around me just to see it.” I bite down on my bottom lip and look away. Eric’s hand releases my wrist, and then I feel it on the side of face, slightly nudging me to face back toward him. Our eyes are now connected again. “Please don’t look away from me, Caroline. I’m not trying to embarrass you. Even though I seem to have a strange way of showing it around you, I really do love to see you smile.” He then gives me one of his full on smiles, and of course I have no choice but to give it back. “That’s my girl. Ok, I really have to go now. Enjoy your day, Caroline.”

  “I have to leave now as well, so I will just follow out the door behind you guys.”

  We all step out, and I reach back to make sure the door was locked. Tara already gave me a key for my key ring, so everything is set. Once I get in my Blazer, I watch Eric and Tara drive off. I am still frozen, with my key hanging in the ignition. All these strange moments I keep having with Eric. They make no sense. There has yet to be one normal, casual encounter between the two of us. So, how is it I still feel this pull to want more from him; with him? I can’t keep blaming it on lust alone, there is something more there. My head and body just can’t connect enough to fully figure out what that is. Why would he be so determined to see me and wish me a good day that he just barges into my room? Then he is so gentle while helping me with my bracelet, and the way he looked at me was like he had so much more to say. Then the words he did say; love to see you smile and my girl. Yes I heard everything, but those two things will forever be etched into my brain coming from his lips.