“Can I go inside now?” She asked dispassionately, the sooner this episode of her life that included him was over, the better for her. “I really don’t want to talk about this. Eddie, you don’t need to make excuses to me, you don’t actually need my forgiveness or validation.” She paused. He was staring straight ahead, and she couldn’t see the expression on his face. “We’re not friends.” She continued. “I’m sure you have a lot of friends, people like you, who understand where you’re coming from and accept it. But I don’t, and I don’t want to have to deal with it.”
He laughed disbelievingly. “So that’s it then?” He asked, turning to face her. “You asking me to take a hike because I tried to get your book published and I had the misfortune to be born into a certain family.”
“You shouldn’t have tried to interfere in my life.” She retorted. “Maybe you should have come to me before appointing yourself as an executor of my affairs.”
“Why don’t you just face it, and accept that you’re blowing all this out of proportion because you’re too scared to face up to the fact that you want to be with me.” He said.
“I am not scared of anything.” Ada replied hotly. It was a lie, and they both knew it.
“Really?” His voice was challenging. “Really?” He shook his head in what looked like exasperation. “Come off it, Ada, I know you are attracted to me.”
She forced a laugh. “I am not.” She insisted.
He laughed softly, to her, it sounded dangerous. “You want to test that?” He asked.
Now she was scared, but she went on bravely. “I know your vast experience with women makes you think that you know us all and that were all the same.” She said. “But we’re not. You’re just going to have to accept that there are some women who do not think you walk on water.”
“Like you.” He stated.
“Yes.” She agreed. “Like me.”
He moved so quickly that she had no time to prepare herself. One minute she was talking and the next he had taken hold of her shoulders, pulled her towards him, and silenced her with a kiss.
It wasn’t like when he had kissed her before. He wasn’t gentle at all, at first. It was a demanding kiss, a kiss that sought to conquer her, to make her accept that she wanted him, and not a kiss meant to give any sort of pleasure.
At first, she forgot to struggle, to push him away, because she was surprised. There was also the fact that punishing or not, the sensations his kiss aroused in her were too pleasurable to give up in just those few seconds.
However, after a few moments she recovered a little of her senses, enough for her to raise her hands to his chest to push him away. Then his lips became gentler, softer, cajoling a response from her.
Her hands stilled on his chest. They forgot why they were there in the first place, now they were moving over his chest, feeling the muscled hardness under his shirt, moving to grasp his arms, caressing him, drawing him closer.
Someone moaned. Was that her? It couldn’t be! She thought, as he deepened the kiss. I should push him away, she thought desperately, I should get out of this car right now, but she didn’t make any move to, no kiss had ever felt so good. Her lips, every single part of her body his hands touched, were suffused with intense pleasure. She felt pleasure build and pool in her stomach, and lower, the sweet aching longing that she knew was desire. She didn’t want him to stop, all she wanted, was more.
A car drove by, and for a few seconds they were illuminated in the bright headlights, her senses slowly returned and she pulled away from him. He was breathing deeply and so was she.
“Don’t tell me that you’re not attracted to me.” He said slowly, his voice ragged. His chest rose and fell with each word, and she realized that her hands were still holding on to him. She let him go abruptly and looked away.
“It’s just physical.” She said, her voice had lost all of its earlier stubbornness and now sounded soft and shaky to her.
He sighed. “You’re determined to push me away no matter what.” He stated.
She was tempted. In that moment all she wanted to tell him was that she didn’t care about any of it, that she didn’t care about anything as long as he kissed her again. Instead, she plowed on. “I am not going to be one of your many girls.” She said, her voice recovering some of its firmness, “If that’s what you’re asking. Find someone else to charm, Eddie. I’m not interested.”
He nodded, and sat back on his seat. “Fine,” He said. “Suit yourself then.”
“I guess I’ll see you around.” She said,
He smiled but didn’t answer. She opened the door and climbed out of the car. She didn’t look back. She just walked through the gates and towards her empty flat. Why did she feel so empty all of a sudden? She felt empty and foolish and totally wrong. She heard him rev the engine of the car. What right do you have to judge him? That little voice in her head said. You’re just overreacting, Ada, overreacting.
She ignored it. She wasn’t going to think about it, or about him! It was over. Her short reign as the girl in Eddie Bakare’s life was over. It was for the best, she told herself, it had to be.
Chapter Nine
The office should have felt a little cramped, with the addition of two new people, but it didn’t. A new desk had been added to the outer office for Clive and Fadeke to share, while Oliver, now Sophie’s assistant, retained his old desk. Lola Balogun, the new receptionist, sat at the desk by the door, the severity of her dark blue suit and smoothly braided hair belied by the good humored smile that never seemed to leave her face.
The space had been rearranged somewhat, so that Ada’s desk now occupied pride of place in a corner, confirming that she was the boss of the outer office. It was a jovial atmosphere that Monday morning, as everybody got to know each other. Lola had been a receptionist at a multinational company, before she resigned to have her kids, now that her last child was five years old she had decided to get a job again and the position Living Lagos had offered had been ideal for her.
Clive was just excited. Fresh from university, it was his first real job. He already had ideas for subsequent covers that Ada found interesting. In the few hours he had spent in the office, he had already become best friends with Oliver and Fadeke.
Ada forced herself to take part in the friendliness and the bonding, especially when Sophie was doing the formal introductions. Later, when Sophie had returned to her office, Ada went to her desk to sit quietly and think. She knew she ought to prepare her itinerary for the week, set tasks for Clive to do, do something herself to get her mind off the one thing that had been troubling her all weekend. Eddie Bakare!
But it was hard. She just wanted to lay down somewhere and close her eyes for as long as it too for her to completely forget that Eddie had ever existed. That he had ever kissed her, and made her want things that she didn’t want to want.
Her body still shuddered with pleasure whenever she thought of that kiss in his car. She had tried to convince herself that it was just physical, but the ache in her chest that came from the realization that it was probably really over with him, made it hard to believe.
Clive was showing off some moves on some new graphic design software to Oliver. Fadeke was paying attention too, looking entranced, whether with the software or Clive, Ada couldn’t really say. She got up, leaving them to get to know each other and made her way to Sophie’s office.
Sophie was engrossed in going through some papers that were laid out on her desk. Aside from the hum of the AC, the only sound was that of her pen as she tap tap tapped it on the desk in concentration. She looked up when she noticed Ada.
“Ah!” She sighed, pushing the papers away. “Just the person I want to talk to.” She relaxed on her chair and flexed her fingers. “What’s up with you?” She asked. “You look miserable.”
“Do I?” Ada laughed self-consciously. “I’m just tired.” She moved through the tiny office and took her seat at the desk opposite Sophie.
“Do you want to go on lea
ve?” Sophie asked. “It’s a bad time, but if you’re fatigued...” She shrugged.
“I’m not fatigued.” Ada replied. She gestured towards the outer office. “I just wanted to come in here for a while and leave the young ones out there free to get to know each other without me looking over their shoulders.”
Sophie laughed. “So who is not a young one?” She asked. “You?” She shook her head, still amused. “I have good news for you though, something that will excite you out of your tiredness.” She smiled. “Sometime around noon today, your car will arrive.”
“Oh my God!” Ada exclaimed, excited despite her dismal emotional state. “Wow!” She jumped up ran round the desk to hug Sophie. “I’m so excited.” She said breathlessly.
Sophie laughed. “I hope you won’t name the car though.” She said. “I’ve met too many people who call their cars Nancy or Pharaoh in this Lagos.”
Ada grimaced then joined in Sophie’s laughter. “Naah, I don’t think so.” She said, amused. “I may consider Mr. Darcy though.” She added as an afterthought. “If I were going to name my car, I’d call it Mr. Darcy.”
Sophie burst out laughing again.
“It’s been a while we really talked.” Sophie observed when the mirth had passed.
“Well, you’re still on your honeymoon.” Ada replied teasingly. It had been more than a year since Sophie got married. “Maybe that’s why.”
Sophie raised a brow. “If that’s it, then I’m afraid we’ll never get to talk.” She smiled. “My honeymoon is going to last forever.”
“Amen somebody!” Ada quipped. They both burst into laughter again.
“But seriously.” Sophie said. “Are you really not going to tell me what’s going on between you and Eddie?” She sounded hurt.
Ada sighed. She realized that this was why she had come to Sophie’s office in the first place. She wanted an excuse to talk about him.
Sophie mistook her pause for reticence. “You really don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” She said. “But I can’t help being curious.”
“No, it’s fine.” Ada said. “I want to talk about it.” She paused. “It’s just… nothing happened really.”
Sophie scoffed. “I’m not blind, you know?” She gave Ada a speculative look. “Did you guys have some sort of fling?”
“No!” Ada exclaimed. “No.” She frowned. “It was nothing like that. He came over to my house a couple of times, he said he liked me, we went out once, and we had a fight….” She shrugged. “that’s about it.”
“That’s can’t be all.” Sophie’s face was a study in disbelief. She leaned forward. “You know when I said Eddie always wants to talk about you?” She asked.
Ada nodded.
“Well now the mention of your name is enough to make him change the subject.” She said, leaning back. “So I know that whatever happened between you two, it must have been serious.”
He didn’t want to talk about her at all! Or even hear her name mentioned! Ada tried not to feel hurt at that, but it was impossible.
Sophie was still looking at her. “You know what?” She said. “Tell me from the beginning.” She narrowed her eyes, “and don’t leave anything out.”
It took almost an hour. Sophie listened without interrupting as everything spilled out. It was pleasurable to talk about Eddie, Ada realized. It was pleasurable to remember how she had enjoyed herself in his company. When Ada got to the part about the fight, she saw the first frown appear on Sophie’s face. She faltered as she told Sophie about the things she had said to him. They sounded mean now, as she said them again, mean and childish and silly.
When she was done, Sophie was silent for a while, as if deep in thought. Ada waited for her to say something, the silence weighing on her. How bad had she messed up? She wondered. Eddie had been Sophie’s friend far longer than she had. Sophie was bound to feel more sympathy for him, and to be miffed that Ada had insulted him. She waited.
“How do you feel about him?” Sophie asked finally. “I mean deep down, besides the ‘trying to interfere in your career’ and ‘embezzled money’ issues…” She gave Ada a measuring look. “How do you really feel about him?”
“I don’t know?” Ada sighed. “I don’t want to like him.”
“But you do.” Sophie stated.
Ada nodded. “I do.” She accepted. “But this is Eddie!” She exclaimed. “He is a flirt, isn’t he? It’s always either one woman or another!” She sighed. “And not just any women, those popular girls back in school, these socialites in Lagos.”
Sophie frowned. “Do you think he’s out of your league?” She asked. “Don’t tell me you’re afraid that he’s better than you.”
Ada bristled at the words, but only because they were so true. She had been afraid, she couldn’t lie to herself, or to Sophie.
Sophie didn’t wait for an answer. “Because that’s not the case at all, you are beautiful, intelligent and unusual, not the typical Lagos fare.” She smiled. “Kind of exotic if you ask me.” She paused. “I think he really likes you, you know, and contrary to what you think, Eddie is not a womanizer, it’s not his fault that women like him, but he’s never led anybody on that I know of. He’s a good sort of guy.”
Ada looked out of the window. Outside, the sun had risen very high, and was now bright, yellow and glaring. She frowned. It would have been so much better, if Sophie had told her she was better off without Eddie, called him a flirt who didn’t deserve her or something like that. Now she just felt like she had messed up really, bad.
Sophie wasn’t done. “I don’t understand why you’re so concerned about Dele Solanke, or Eddie wanting to know about publishing your book. First and foremost Eddie is a business man, He wouldn’t go all out if he didn’t think you had a good product.” She paused. “I understand how you feel about the money, Ada, but be realistic, If you’re going to cut everybody who has ever benefited in any way, directly or indirectly, from Nigeria’s corruption from your life, you’ll have to cut out everybody, including yourself.”
Ada sighed. Sophie was right, of course. Things had only seemed black and white while she had been throwing the words at Eddie. Thinking about it now, there were so many shades of grey.
“Don’t judge him, he’s not the same as those children of corrupt politicians living in million dollar apartments abroad and popping bottles of champagne at different clubs every night.” Sophie said. “Eddie’s not like that, he’s really responsible, and along with his family he has given a whole lot of that money away, and helped a lot of people.”
Like Sophie. Ada thought. There would be no Living Lagos, if it hadn’t been for Eddie’s money.
“Maybe you should ask yourself this.” Sophie said finally. “Do you think Eddie would do the same thing his grandfather did, if he were in such a position today?” Her voice was serious. “Or do you think he would do better?”
Ada was prevented from replying by the sound of Fadeke squealing excitedly in the outer office. Sophie rolled her eyes and sighed.
“I think your car has come.” She said. “Or else Fadeke is going to have a lot to answer for.”
It was the car, delivered straight from the car dealership. They all thronged downstairs to see it. Mr. Festus, the floor security man, looked up from his issue of Complete Sports to look at them curiously as they piled into the elevator.
The car had come in one of those complicated looking trucks for delivering cars, with a ramp and everything. It was a brand new Honda City, dark red and gleaming in the sun. The seats were all covered up in transparent polyester, as was most of the car.
It was beautiful, Ada thought. It was exactly what she would have chosen. She smiled and whooped along with everybody else, as everybody expected her to. Sophie stood back arms folded, a smile on her face. Fadeke was clapping excitedly. “iwannanewcartoo! iwannanewcartoo!” Oliver was saying in a voice that was both dejected and comical at the same time.
Later, after Ada had made a great show of peeling of
f the polyester, they went back to the office. The rest of the day passed rather quickly, Ada kept herself busy with work and showed Clive some of the things she expected him to do. Whenever her phone rang she still broke into a sweat, but it was never Eddie. Obviously, he had truly decided to leave her alone this time. It hurt.
She didn’t get a chance to speak to Sophie again for the rest of the day. Not until she was leaving in the evening. She walked up to Ada’s desk “Think about what I said, okay?” She said meaningfully. Ada nodded. She was already thinking about it, she thought, frustrated, but what would thinking achieve, when she had already ruined everything.
Chapter Ten
The whole office was buzzing with excitement about the TRANSCEND awards. Sophie printed every online article where either her name or Living Lagos was mentioned. She cut out more of the same from newspapers and magazines and pinned them on the notice board.
Ada tried to join in the excitement, but it was hard. She hadn’t heard from or seen Eddie since the night outside her apartment, she wanted to call and apologize, she had thought and thought about everything that happened and the more she thought about it, the more convinced she was that she had been wrong.
She missed him too, that was the hardest thing, how much she missed him. Many times, she almost dialed his number, in her mind she made up excuses to call him, but pride always stopped her. What would she say to him anyway, after everything she had already said?
Sophie advised her to call him. “Contrary to popular opinion guys have feelings too” She told Ada. “You hurt his feelings, you should call him.”
But she didn’t. She was too afraid. What if he had moved on, what if he had decided that she was just a silly girl, a complication he didn’t need in his life. What if right at that moment he was already happily in a relationship with one of those society girls, the ones with smooth British accents and smoother skin.
Hidden Currents (Lagos Romance Series) Page 9
