“Yes. I’m sorry we’ve never been introduced before.” She looks down at my leg. “I saw you hobbling. What happened?”
My eyes follow her line of sight, swapping one foot for the other. “Oh, it’s nothing. Just a twisted ankle. Nothing major. I’ll live.”
We both give an awkward laugh.
“You’re Caitlin, right? Jez’s old friend.”
No matter how many times I hear Jeremy being called Jez, I still won’t get used to it. He will always be known as Jeremy, the super cool kid from down the block. The one I had a huge crush on.
“Yeah, that’s right,” I answer, noting both our hands are staying by their sides. We’re being civil, but I can see by the way she narrows her eyes at me, her stoic expression. She’s threatened by me and I have no idea why. I know she and Jeremy are a thing, and I’m definitely not one to break up relationships. I’ve had enough drama in my life. I don’t need to add another to my long list.
“I hope you don’t mind me coming up to you. I saw you here and can see you’ve...” I stop and take a breath. I don’t want to say the words been hit, or attacked. Somehow acknowledging it makes it all too real. Selfishly, that is. I clear my throat. “I was just concerned. Are you okay?”
I watch her forehead crinkle into a small frown before looking at the door she had been pacing in front of. She steps forward, her hand laid on the door as she peaks inside. “It’s my brother. He’s been a little... beat up.”
I walk the distance to where she is, naturally going to her as if she called. I make the mistake of glancing in and see her brother lying on the bed, his eyes closed, both swollen to the brink of not knowing where one part of his face starts and ends. His whole face looks as if it’s been beaten to a pulp. I gasp, covering my mouth.
“I know. I have to see him like that every day. It’s not easy. But, it does look a lot worse than what it is. He’ll live.”
Unwanted tears brim in my eyes. I don’t know this person, and as far as I know he could have been the one to have given Amy that bruise on her forehead. It’s the shock of seeing him lying there like that—guilty or not.
“Who... who did this?” I ask. My mouth has suddenly gone dry. Flashes of Jack and him holding on to my T-shirt that night when he...
I grip my eyes shut. I don’t want to see it. I don’t want to be a part of that pain. I know it’s mine, but it’s still so real... so raw.
“I’d rather not say. It’s not like my brother didn’t deserve it. He did this to me.” She points to her forehead, giving me the answer I had been looking for when I first questioned in my mind what happened. I jumped to conclusions and had been right. I also know that she couldn’t have been the one to retaliate back and give him the bruises her brother had. She may be strong, but she can’t be that strong.
I gulp, closing my eyes. Only one name jumps in my head right now. Could he have done this?
“I’m really sorry,” is all I say. What can I say? Suddenly, I don’t want to be here. The hallway walls are caving in on me.
“It’s okay,” she answers, placing her hand on my shoulder. “Are you okay? You look pale.”
My eyes snap up to meet hers. She’s frowning again, awaiting my answer. I swallow, nodding. “I’m fine. I... I better go. I have someone waiting for me.”
A small smile coats her face. “I understand. I hope you feel better soon.”
She’s been through all that with her brother and yet she’s the one consoling me. I had immediately misjudged the girl solely on the basis that she’s dating Jeremy. What type of person does that make me?
“Thank you. I hope you do too.”
My feet find movement, quickly scurrying away as fast as they are able to. I’m limping from the discomfort, but my longing to escape is heightened by sheer selfishness.
Pamela has her back to me, but she must sense I’m there as she quickly turns, her smile rising when she spots me. “Everything okay?” she asks, handing back my drink.
“Everything’s fine.”
Everything’s not fine. The nausea in my stomach tells me as much. Still, I place a reassuring smile on my face as we head out of the hospital.
Pamela takes me home and I thank her as I make my way into my apartment. Sophie’s not in, but I know she mentioned something about meeting up with an old school friend earlier. I’m guessing that’s where she is now.
I take a much-needed hot shower before putting on some comfy jams and grabbing a bag of Doritos, then sit on the couch to watch TV. I place my bad foot on the table, noting that it’s throbbing more than it did earlier. I know I’m going to have to take some Tylenol before bed at this rate.
A ping from my phone alerts me to a message. When I look down I see it’s from my mom, asking me how my day went. I won’t tell her about the accident because she’ll go all crazy Mom on me, demanding that she come over and look after me. I shoot her a text back that all went well and that I have loads of homework to settle down with. I quickly get a text back telling me to have a good night and that she loves me. When I bounce back that I love her too, I remember the message I never got to see from Jeremy.
Going into Messenger, I bring up the message from him. It simply reads, I’m fine, just caught some sort of bug. I should be back in a couple of days. I’m sorry I never responded to you sooner. I didn’t even know you had messaged me. I wasn’t ignoring you. I promise. No one could ever ignore you. ;)
I laugh at the wink emoji and type back.
I wouldn’t be offended if you did. Being ill sucks.
Jez Scozzari: I can confirm it definitely sucks. Major balls.
I shake my head and answer back. Trust you to turn being sick into something crude.
Jez Scozzari: Hey, you’re the one who implied it was rude, not me. Someone needs to take a long, hard look at themselves.
Says a man who has a profile pic of him half-naked.
Jez Scozzari: Ah, so you looked.
During our conversation, yes. I couldn’t help but look. He’s more buff than I had ever imagined.
Jez Scozzari: ???
I shake my head, but can’t help the smile that creeps up. Suddenly the pain in my ankle is all but gone. Instead, I have blood rushing to parts it shouldn’t be.
Jez Scozzari: Are you going to look at my photo tonight and play with yourself?
I gasp before responding.
OMG, you are SO full of yourself!
Jez Scozzari: I’d rather you be full of me. ;)
Placing the phone down, I close my eyes. I’m not going to get into this playful banter with him. It’ll start going down a dangerous path—one I’m not ready to go down on. I don’t think I’ll ever be.
After a short while, my phone beeps again, alerting me to another message. I pull it up and smile, because the universe can’t help but play with my emotions.
Jez Scozzari: I can still smell you in my car. xx
Not long after I had sent that message she accepted my friend request. I knew that was her way of responding.
Bit by fucking bit.
In the last few days I had been pissed that I had gotten so far, only to have to hide that very night. I had been on cloud nine the whole way home. I know Caitlin has changed. I can see there’s darkness in her—darkness she’s trying desperately to hide. I haven’t pressed her, because it’s not my place, but one day I will find out what happened to the girl I once shared Gummy Bears with on a park bench. The same girl who wore pigtails that I couldn’t help but wrap my fingers around and pull on. Not because I wanted to tease her, but because I needed some sort of excuse to touch her. Even then, at the age of ten, I was smitten.
“Fucking pussy,” I say out loud to myself.
“Who’s a pussy? You?” Calvin walks toward the couch and throws himself down. I nearly fucking leave my seat for a moment.
“No, you,” I tease back with a grin.
“Amy giving you grief?”
Leaning forward, I grab a joint and light it up. I take a drag of
it before passing it on to Calvin. “I lost my temper, man.”
He nods, sucking on the joint before passing it back to me. “You did, but any sane man would if he saw what he did to her.”
“Yeah, but the difference is I almost killed him.”
“Amy knows why you did it. I bet she’s like, ‘Oh, Jezzy, I love you so much. You’re my hero. I want to have your babies.’” He puckers his lips, making kissing sounds. I have to nudge him away.
“Cut that fucking shit out.”
Laughing, he settles into his seat, allowing me time to take another drag. I’m feeling a pleasant buzz now. One I welcome after the last few days.
“Have you spoken with Caitlin? I know she’s been asking Stacey about you.”
That makes me straighten a little. “Really?”
Calvin leans forward, a shit-eating grin on his face. “I never thought I’d see the day, man.”
I frown at him. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“You’re in love with her, aren’t you?”
“Jesus Christ, Calvin, she’s only been back a couple of weeks.”
He snaps the joint from my hand and takes a puff. “Yeah, but the difference is to you she never really left.”
* * *
I still don’t go to college the next day. My hand is finally healing, but anyone with a keen eye will see it’s hit something several times over. What I don’t do, however, is stay home. Instead, I choose to get in my car and stake out the college, hoping to see Caitlin. I know my stalking levels have just turned up a notch, but I haven’t seen her in days. As crazy as it sounds, I miss her. I miss her smile and the way her eyes sparkle when she chances a look at me. She thinks I can’t see her, but I do. I see her more than she will ever know. It’s crazy as she’s only been here a couple of weeks, but Calvin’s right. It is like she never really left.
I’m on the opposite side of the street from the college, hoping no one will see I’m here. I check my watch. She should be coming out of class by now.
On that last thought, she emerges, books clutched in her arms, her bag slung over her shoulder. She’s wearing another fleece today, but this one is bright red, making her stand out even more from the crowd. A skinny little shit approaches her, says something, and then she throws her head back laughing. From the eager slimy grin on his face, I can already fathom that just this little interaction with her has spurred him on further. Her hair blows in the wind and as she’s busy trying to get it away from her face, he does a small perusal of her body, licking his lips as his eyes travel the length of her. I grip my steering wheel so tightly that my hand cries out a little in pain. I’m way too pumped to give a shit right now.
Who does this punk think he is?
I have this overwhelming desire to get out of my car and go to her, but then it will mean people seeing me when I’m supposed to be ill.
“Fuck!” I shout, knowing my jealousy will get the better of me if he carries on leering at her like the pervert he is.
She points to the street and starts to walk, but the fucker doesn’t take the hint, following beside her as they walk down the stairs. I’m trying to gauge her reaction to him. Does she like the attention? Does she secretly want him to fuck off? I hope it’s the latter, but from the angle I’m in I can’t read her face.
They both turn the corner walking out of sight, so I start my car, making sure there are no cars around so I can slow crawl toward them. I indicate out, noting there’s nothing coming. Good. I check my mirrors, easing out of my space and approaching the street they’ve turned into. I indicate left, easing myself into the turning and at the same time trying to find where they are. I can’t see them.
Shit! What if she’s in trouble and needs my help? This guy could be a secret Ted Bundy fucking psycho killer for all she knows.
I step my foot on the gas, approaching another turning. My heart starts to race when I still can’t see them. I’m about to move onto the next turning, when a strand of blond hair wisps up again in the wind. I see them walking down the road. I put my foot on the brake, tires screeching a little, and a car behind me honks. I put my hand up to apologize and indicate right. I slowly make my way down the road, noticing that they’re heavy in conversation. Nothing about her looks scared or intimidated. Her shoulders are relaxed, her strides easy and effortless. I don’t know why I’m so angry at this. I don’t want her uncomfortable, but I also don’t want her enjoying this asshole’s company either. I’m so intent on watching them both that I don’t realize there’s someone behind me until I hear a horn blowing.
Fuck, how am I supposed to stalk her under these conditions?
I speed up, looking for an available space to pull into. Luckily, I manage to find one with ease and pull in. I switch my engine off and get out of the car, locking it behind me. The rest I can do on foot. I’m far enough away from the college now not to be seen.
I watch as they walk down the end of the road again before turning right. It’s then I have the idea to cut them off at the other end, so I quickly turn into the next street and make a run for it. I have to make it look like I’m bumping into them, rather than stalking them. I had hoped the asshole would have left her by now, but for some reason he’s clinging on, no doubt hoping he can ask her out on a date at some point.
Over my dead body.
I get to the end of the street and turn the corner just as they do at the same time. I bump into the asshole, sending his books flying to the floor.
“Oops, sorry, man. Let me help you.” I bend down, picking the books up, and when I guide myself back up, I find Caitlin staring at me, her lips pursing, and her eyes narrowing in my direction.
“Thanks,” the little dude says, quickly looking from me to Caitlin, back to me again. His forehead crinkles and his mouth parts in question. He can tell there’s already tension in the air and I haven’t even started my tirade yet. And I will, if this fucker won’t piss off.
Caitlin raises one eyebrow, a hand placed at her hip. She means business now. “Fancy seeing you here,” she begins, pursing those sexy lips again. I have this overwhelming urge to cross the distance between us and lick those perfect lips with the tip of my tongue. My eyes heat, signaling to her my erotic thoughts. Her cheeks redden and her lips part slightly, no doubt letting out a small breath. She may try to hide from me, but what she can’t hide is the obvious attraction between us.
“Hey, aren’t you One Punch? You’re a fucking legend, man.”
Little dude takes that time to interrupt our stare-fucking. I like stare-fucking Caitlin. Best foreplay on earth.
Reluctantly, I take my eyes from Caitlin to stare down little dude. “Thanks for walking my girl, but I think I can take it from here.” My eyes immediately fall back on Caitlin. Her stare is fierce, her eyes ablaze with a fire that almost scorches me.
Almost.
“Your... your girl?” he asks, stuttering. “I thought... Amy was your girl?”
Oh, hell no.
Little dude didn’t really go there, did he? By the look on Caitlin’s face with her big-ass grin, the answer is yes.
“Yeah, Jeremy. I thought Amy was your girl.”
Now, Caitlin’s joining in the fun. I’m getting pretty sick and tired of people calling Amy my girl. She’s never fucking been my girl.
With clenched teeth, I answer, “Amy’s just a friend. Nothing more, nothing less.”
Noticing my anger, little dude places his hand out in front of him. “No problems, man. Sorry. I didn’t realize Caitlin was your girl. I would never disrespect you like that.”
My eyes focus back on him, portraying the message that it’s now time for him to depart. “Well, now you know.”
Hoisting his backpack up on his shoulder, little dude turns to Caitlin. “See you tomorrow, Caitlin.”
Caitlin smiles enthusiastically at him, making my jaw tick. “Yeah, see you tomorrow, Brett.”
He scurries off, leaving Caitlin and me alone. I hear her huff before she speaks.
“You’re a fucking asshole, you know that? What was that? A show of force from a jealous, petty man with nothing better to do than to follow me everywhere? And I know you were following us. I heard the car horn and saw you. You didn’t just stumble upon us like you did.”
I have to hand it to her. She’s good. I’m glad she’s good because one should never get too complacent.
“You’re right, I was following you, but only to make sure you’re safe.”
She puffs out some air. “So it had nothing to do with the fact I was walking alongside another boy?”
“No, but when said boy ogles you from head to toe, no doubt wondering what you look like naked, I have a problem with it.”
“And you’ve never undressed me with your eyes?”
A small smirk creeps up on my lips. “That’s different and you know it.”
“How?”
I stalk toward her, closing the distance, and notice that her cheeks flush and her throat bobs as she takes a nervous swallow. I have my right hand placed in my back pocket to hide the bandage, so raise my left hand instead. With that, I gently trail a finger along the curve of her face, noticing that her lips part as she takes in much needed air. My dick stiffens. Her acceptance of my touch has my blood rushing in one direction.
“Because, Caitlin. You were mine since the day we met when we were nine years old. You were mine from the moment your cheeks flushed when I paid you a compliment, or the way you giggled when I tugged on your pigtails. You were mine from the evening you crept into my bedroom because you had a nightmare that I was taken from you. Remember that night? The same night I had to take you back home so your parents wouldn’t worry and you asked me to climb into bed with you and hold your hand. What did I do, Caitlin? What did I do?”
She sucks in a breath and closes her eyes as my finger reaches under her chin. Gently raising it up to look at me, she opens her eyes and then closes her mouth to swallow before speaking. “You climbed into my bed and held my hand.”
I nod, my head now inches away from her mouth. Caitlin’s sparkling hazel eyes dance down toward my lips before running back up to meet mine. “That’s right. I stayed in your bed, held your hand, and when I came back the next day to find my parents were looking for me therefore grounding me for a whole week, but I didn’t care. And you know why?”
Scozzari: Deviant #3 Page 10
