by Kelly Harper
Bre wasn’t the only one on the brink. She could feel the tenseness in Collin as he quivered inside of her. He was getting close. Bre worked her hips even harder, rotating them from side to side while clamping herself around him. She wanted to feel him come inside her. She wanted to feel his warmth flood her depths.
“Come for me, baby.”
She leaned her hands into his chest and stared into his eyes. The intense connection between them solidified, growing stronger with every second their eyes remained locked. She wanted to fall into them; to swim in their depths for the rest of her life. Was this love?
“Tell me you want it,” Collin said.
“God! Give it to me.”
“Tell me how bad you want it.”
“I might die without it.”
A smirk tugged at his lip.
“Well, we can’t let that happen.”
Collin’s hands tightened around her tiny waist. He tensed as he slammed his cock up and into her. It wasn’t so much hard as it was intentional. With every plunge inside of her, the connection between them deepened. Solidified. Was made whole.
With one final thrust, Collin’s eyes lost focus. He let out a loud groan. And then he erupted. Bre nearly lifted off the bed as he expanded and filled her. Her core clamped around him and in an instant she was also on the verge of coming again. But it was different. This orgasm didn’t feel like those before. It was deeper. More intimate. More… personal. If that were possible.
She didn’t know how to describe it, and it didn’t matter. All she knew was that it left her feeling lighter than air. She felt like she could float away; to wherever the wind took them. Life could happen around them; ignore them. None of it mattered. She and Collin could just float away together without a single care in the world.
And judging by the look on his face, he felt the exact same way.
Chapter Eleven
They laid in bed and held each other for a long time. Bre snuggled as close to Collin as her ego allowed her to get; she had to suppress the urge to basically crawl on top of him. His chest felt warm against her cheek, and the sound of his pounding heart lasted for a blissfully long time. Collin pressed a kiss into her forehead. His lips lit her skin on fire, sending tingles down her spine.
Bre nearly groaned at herself, but she held it in check. She literally couldn’t be any sappier. But then she remembered what Stephanie and Aimee had told her. Was this one of those moments where she wasn’t letting herself be happy? There really wasn’t any reason she shouldn’t be able to enjoy laying next to a man who had just made her orgasm over and over again without attaching any drama to it.
She snuggled a little closer to him. And even let herself smile.
“That was something else,” Collin sighed.
It was the first time either of them had said anything since he’d come deep inside of her.
“It was nice,” she agreed.
“Just nice?”
“Very nice.”
He kissed her on the forehead again, sending another tingle down her back.
“I know you don’t really like to talk about these things, but… you’re incredibly special to me.”
Bre sat up and looked at him, narrowing her eyes.
“What makes you think I don’t like to talk about that stuff?”
A brief look of confusion flashed across Collin’s face before he pressed himself up and sat against the wall. Bre couldn’t help but notice how nice he looked naked in her bed.
“I’m not out of line in saying that. You always shy away from talking about your feelings.”
“That’s not true. I don’t mind talking about how I feel.”
Collin let out a little laugh, as though she’d made a joke.
“Sure… if you’re talking about things you don’t like. You’re not the best at telling me about what you’re truly interested in or passionate about.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Name one thing you think I should have shared with you.”
His brow pulled together like she’d said something strange.
“Well, for one, you never told me you were interested in so many things…” He gave a quick look around the room. His eyes briefly lingered on the canvases leaning against the wall before returning to hers. “When I told you about Logan’s art gallery at the mansion you didn’t really seem all that into it…”
“I didn’t lie about it,” she said. She didn’t really want to explain how much of a mess she was, but there was no way she could hide it either. She needed to be open with him. This was the hard part she’d always dreaded. “I wasn’t lying,” she continued. “I really wasn’t all that interested in art back then.”
“But that changed?”
“No, not really.” She shrugged. “Maybe a little…”
His brow tightened in even more confusion.
“Then what’s with the art supplies and canvases?”
“Well… I wanted to be more interested in it. Maybe because it reminded me of you.”
“Wanted?”
“Yeah, wanted,” she said, sighing loudly. “It’s what I do. I get motivated to do something and then I lose interest. I bought all the supplies after we got back from the Hamptons but never even used them. I figured I’d just donate them or something, whenever I get around to it.”
“And this is something you do frequently?” he asked, glancing at the piles of other stuff in the room.
She let out a frustrated sigh.
“It happens here and there. It’s not like I have all the free time in the world to do whatever I want!”
Bre didn’t want to think about it anymore. She was already well aware of how crazy she could be. It wasn’t exactly something she liked about herself and if she could just change and stop being the way she was then she would have already done it. To her surprise, Collin didn’t tease her about it. Instead a huge smile spread across his face.
“There’s always more to you, isn’t there?”
“Hey! Don’t make fun of me… I’m baring my soul to you right now.”
He let out a laugh.
“Oh, is that what you’re doing?”
She punched him in the arm. The smile on his face broadened.
“Give me some credit here. I’m way out of my element.”
“You’ve definitely taken some really big steps forward tonight… letting me come back to your place, revealing that you’re a hoarder. I think our relationship is really making progress.”
Her eyes widened in mortified horror.
“I am not a hoarder! There’s just a little clutter… that’s all. I didn’t have time to clean up. This is all your fault! I told you we shouldn’t come back here!”
She was petrified. Is this what her life had come to? It was official: when Collin left she’d never see him again. She was destined to become a crazy cat lady who died alone in her apartment and nobody would find her body until her cats had already eaten off her face. And that’s how everyone would remember her: At least she had her cats and all her junk.
Collin wrapped his arm around her and hugged her tight to his muscular body. Bre felt far too stiff to melt into him the way she wanted.
“Don’t worry, it’s not that bad,” he said. “I love knowing that you’re so interested in so many things. Maybe we can put those canvases to good use and take a painting class together.”
“You mean it? You don’t think I’m a complete crazy person?”
“No… you’re only a little crazy,” he said, hugging her tight.
Bre let out a gasp and slapped him on the arm while wriggling away. Collin howled in laughter as he fended off her attacks.
“I’ll show you crazy!” she said, still slapping at him.
Collin easily caught her hands while somehow managing to wrap his arms around her. She didn’t stop struggling until he was holding her firmly against his irritatingly sexy body.
“You’re my kind of crazy,” he whispered in her ear before kissing t
he side of her head.
“I’d better be.”
Bre snuggled into him more deeply. Maybe his sexy body wasn’t so irritating after all.
“Since we’re on such a roll, there was something else I wanted to bring up…” The smile on her face faded. She looked up at him, wondering what was on his mind. “What do you think about getting back in touch with your dad?”
Bre’s back stiffened as her stomach twisted into a knot.
“What are you talking about?”
Collin shrugged and gave her that boyish smile of his.
“I know things are difficult with him, but maybe it would help if you tried to reconnect again.”
She just stared at him.
“How can you say that? You don’t know anything about it.”
Collin wasn’t fazed.
“I know that your first instinct is to clam up anytime he comes up. I know you like to pretend you’re carefree when you’re really just bottling everything up inside.” She stared at him as he kissed her on the forehead, again. “I just want you to be happy.”
Bre could hardly believe what she was hearing.
“You don’t think I’m happy?”
“I think you’re fooling yourself. I think you don’t let yourself be happy because you spend so much time closing yourself off to the things that put a smile on your face.”
It sounded eerily like what her two closest friends had told her just a week earlier. But they’d known her for years.
“How can you say that? You barely know me.”
“Look around… You said it yourself: you get interested in things only to push them away and forget about them.”
“I just get interested in other stuff.”
“Maybe,” he said, though, it sounded more like, ”Bullshit.”
“That’s crazy. Why would anyone not let themselves be happy?”
“I don’t know about anyone else, but I think you’re scared of being happy. I think you’re scared it will mean you’ve finally put the past behind you and you don’t actually need him in your life anymore. And I think you know that isn’t the case.”
“I don’t need him in my life. I’ve been independent for as long as I can remember. Since Kacie left.”
Collin actually laughed at that.
“You might be independent, but you’re not really free of him. If you were you wouldn’t be so afraid to even talk about him. Being controlled by fear isn’t exactly what I’d call freedom.”
Bre hated the fact that he was saying all these things her closest friends had just dropped on her. And she hated the fact that having examples pointed out actually made it make more sense. She’d spent a lifetime hiding these parts of her life… Collin shouldn’t be able to see right through her like it was nothing.
“It’s not your job to make me happy.”
“I love you.”
Bre’s head reeled back as though he’d just grown a third eye on his forehead.
“What?”
Collin’s bravado faded and for a moment he actually looked nervous. A long silence passed before he said anything.
“I know that came out of nowhere, and I know it probably scares the hell out of you, but… well… I love you.” His lip pursed into a thin, hesitant smile. “And no matter what, I’m always going to do whatever I can to make you as happy as possible.”
Bre didn’t know what to make of it. They were supposed to be arguing about her relationship with Ray and now he was telling her he loves her for the first time? How the hell did he expect her to respond?
“You’re right… that does scare me.”
Collin let out a soft breath, still looking uncertain.
“I couldn’t go any longer without telling you.”
“I don’t know if I’m there yet.”
”You don’t have to be. I just needed you to know how I felt.”
Bre was silent for a while as she processed everything. It was a lot to take in all at once, but there was a part of her that agreed he had a point. Not about the whole love thing—she’d have to deal with that later—but with what he said about Ray. If she were being honest with herself, she’d been wanting to reconnect with him for a long time. She just had no idea how—or even if—that was possible.
“If I do this… I don’t know if I can do it alone.”
The biggest smile she’d ever seen spread across his face.
“Well, you don’t have to worry about that. I’ll always have your back. You can count on that.”
Bre’s eyes instantly stung and her throat tightened around her every breath. She almost punched Collin in the arm again so he wouldn’t notice how much of an emotional mess he’d just turned her into. Instead she collapsed against him and curled herself into a little ball, no longer caring if it was too much. He wrapped his strong arms around her and held her as he pressed a few more kisses into the back of her head. She’d never felt so safe in her entire life.
“You’d better,” she said, into his chest.
Collin didn’t say anything. He just held her until exhausted sleep finally replaced the tears running down her face.
Chapter Twelve
It took Bre by complete surprise, but two weeks later she and Collin made the drive from her apartment in Brooklyn all the way to Buffalo. She was nervous and tense during the entire trip, though Collin’s joking and teasing helped keep her distracted most of the time.
It wasn’t long before they were making their way through Buffalo to the little neighborhood of North Park where Bre had grown up. She’d been back a few times since moving to the City after high school. She was surprised by how everything could look so different while being so familiar.
Bre’s nerves threatened to overwhelm her when they passed the Dollar General and took a left on Saranac Avenue—the very street she’d grown up on. But instead of thinking about the time she’d skinned her knee falling off her bike, or giving her first blowjob outside the house in Aaron Klein’s pickup, all she could focus on was that she was about to confront Ray for the first time ever. Sure, she’d had arguments with him over the years, but those were in the heat of the moment. This was the first time she planned to really let him know how she felt.
Collin parked on the curb in front of the house and Bre looked on the place that held a lifetime of memories for her—a former life that she’d left behind a long time ago. It was a two-story house with three steps that led up to the front deck. Bre had found Ray passed out on that deck more times than she could remember. The drive led behind the house to a detached garage where she’d spent countless hours working on cars with Ray.
The house looked good, like it had been recently painted. The yard actually had flowers planted around the base of well-manicured bushes in front of the deck. For a moment, Bre wondered if Ray even still lived there. That hope was discarded when she spotted the old, wooden rocking chair on the front deck. There was no way anyone else would keep that rickety thing around. He must have attracted the pity of some woman because there was no way he was taking the initiative to maintain the house for himself.
Collin remained quiet while she took it all in.
“You ready for this?” he asked, finally.
She shook her head, still surveying the house.
“This was a mistake. We should get out of here.”
“You’re going to be fine.”
“He’s going to be pissed I showed up unannounced.”
“I’m sure he’ll be excited to see you.”
Bre wished she could have even a fraction of Collin’s enthusiasm. She took a deep breath and readied herself.
“Might as well get this over with,” she sighed.
They climbed out of the car and Bre waited at the little paved walk leading to the deck for Collin to join her. This was it, her last chance to get back in the car and get out of there. Collin stopped at her side and gave her another one of his stupid, boyish grins.
“You can do this.”
“Fuck off,” s
he scowled at him.
The grin on his face widened, but it was the sound of a familiar creak from the house that made her heart stop.
“Brittany, is that you?”
Bre’s eyes widened, still locked on Collin. It felt like an eternity passed before she turned and saw the faint outline of a familiar man from behind the screen door. Ray poked his head out to get a better look at her, his brow creased and his eyes squinting. He’d lost some weight but otherwise looked exactly the same as she remembered. He was wearing a faded blue button-up, untucked, with old jeans. The shirt looked like any of his shop shirts that Bre remembered from her childhood, except it lacked an embroidered name patch.
She shot Collin an accusatory look before steeling herself; whatever was about to happen, it was all his fault. Collin hung back a half-step to give her some space, but she didn’t say anything until they’d made it to the porch.
“I’m glad you still recognize your daughter,” she said.
Ray’s forehead tightened even more.
“What are you doing here? Is something wrong?”
“I didn’t know I needed a reason to visit.”
He waved a hand at her.
“I don’t mean it like that,” he said. “It’s just been so long…”
“You know there’s nothing stopping you from visiting me if you wanted.”
Ray’s lips pursed into a thin smile. He looked at Collin as if only just noticing him.
“Who’s your friend?”
The anger simmering beneath the surface made it easy to ignore any nervousness she felt about bringing Collin home with her.
“This is Collin,” she said. “Collin, this is Ray.”
“It’s great to meet you, Mr. Sullivan,” Collin said with a big, dumb grin on his face. “Bre has told me a lot about you.”
Collin stuck his hand out for Ray to shake. Ray eyed the outstretched hand for a moment before finally accepting it.
“Sounds like I should be worried,” Ray said.
“Not at all, sir. She’s only told me good things.”
