by Lila Rose
Turning from the bench, I set their coffees in front of them and then claimed my own chair between both of theirs. Raising my eyebrows, I waited.
Caden scoffed. “All right, precious. All we know is that somehow Talon found out that you were having some troubles from people at school. He asked us to come here and check it out, see if we could help.”
Eli leaned into the chair more to catch my eye. “What I want to know is why you thought you’d deal with this on your own in the first place, Josie?”
“Billy,” Caden growled.
“No,” Eli barked. He stood from the chair and paced the small space behind the table. “You have people who care about you, sweetheart. You don’t have to deal with shit, fuckin’ pathetic crap, being dished out by some fuckin’ loser.” He stopped and turned to me. “All you had to do was call. Why didn’t you? Shit, how long have you been dealing with it all on your own?” He stood above me with his hands balled into fists. He didn’t like what I’d been going through. He didn’t like the thought of me on my own.
Slowly, I reached out and wound my hand around his fist. Shock registered on his face, his eyes flaring and then, once they settled, he unwound his fist and entwined our fingers.
I smiled up at him before my gaze went to Caden. My arm slid onto the table. I held my hand palm up for Caden’s. He didn’t hesitate and he also seemed surprised by my willingness to want to touch them. Silly men, didn’t they know they were my home. They were what helped keep me going. At school, it had been too soon for them to touch me, especially after being held violently against Scott’s body. However, now I was in my home, it was on my terms. I knew they wouldn’t push me for more than what I was willing to give.
“It was stupid of me really. I wanted to prove I could do this... I guess more to myself than anything or anyone. I wanted to know I could live out in the real, tough world on my own, without my security blanket, my family who go above and beyond to protect me. I-I still want that...but, I know now that what I want above everything is more important than anything. I want my family.”
“You want to go home to Ballarat?” Caden asked.
“Yes. Only not yet. I have four months left before school ends for the year. I do have the opportunity to transfer my degree to an open university course, so I can study from home. But then...yes, then I want to come home to Ballarat.”
“You know we won’t leave you with that dickhead still harassing you,” Eli stated.
Smiling sadly, I said, “I can’t have you both here for that long. You both have lives of your own. I won’t ask you to put that on hold and stay to be...my bodyguards for that amount of time. I could ring Talon and ask him to send a prospect. Then at least Talon won’t be losing two valuable employees and members.”
“I’ll talk to Talon about it,” Caden said.
“Pick,” Eli barked.
A meaningful look passed between them and Caden once again said, “I’ll talk to Talon about it.” Eli then nodded and sat back down at the table without letting go of my hand. “But first, our girl needs to call home.”
“What?” I whispered.
“Precious, your parents are worried about you. Call them,” he said, sliding his phone over the table. I stared down at it. When I didn’t reach for it, Caden picked it back up and pressed some buttons. He placed it back on the table and it started ringing.
“Hello?” my mum’s voice said.
“Nance, Pick here with Eli and Josie.”
“Darling?” Mum’s uttered, her voice catching.
“Hi, Mum. I’m so sorry for worrying you. I promise I won’t do it again.”
“Oh, Lordy, my son-in-law is a miracle worker and sending two handsome men. Amazing. Sweetie, how are you?”
“I’m good now, Mum.” I smiled at the phone.
In the background we heard boomed, “Is that Josie? Give me the phone, woman.” There was a shuffle and then Dad’s voice was on the line. “Baby girl, is this actually our daughter who we haven’t heard from in a long time?”
Giggling, I said, “Yes, Dad. Caden and Eli are here also.”
“Who?” he snapped.
Rolling my eyes, I said, “Pick and Billy.”
“Yo, Rich.” Caden said.
“S’up, Rich.” Eli smiled.
“You boys there to take care of our baby girl?”
“Course,” Caden said.
“You boys gonna keep your hands to yourself?” Dad demanded as we heard in the background from Mum, “I hope they don’t.” Dad covered the phone and said something to Mum and then into the phone, “Well?”
“We’ll try, Rich.” Eli smirked and winked at me while my cheeks heated.
Silence on the other end.
And then, “Well, shit, at least you’re being honest. You know what will happen if you screw her over.”
“Dad, I’m still here.”
“Quiet, Josie. The big guys are talkin’.”
“Mum,” I called loudly.
“Richard, give me the phone,” Mum snapped.
“No, I’m talking to the guys. They need to know they’ll be effed up if they cause our daughter any harm, even of to the heart.”
“Don’t be stupid. They’ve been in love with her since she was seventeen.”
Goodness me.
Was that true?
Looking to the guys to see their reactions, they’d both adverted their gazes from mine and kept blank expression so I couldn’t tell.
Still, the phone call was just getting strange. It was time to end it. “Mum, Dad, we have to go. Um, I love you both and I promise to talk soon.”
“Love you, sweetie. Take care and make sure you practise safe sex.”
Heck it to hell.
“Shut up, Nancy. Love you, too, baby girl, but do not listen to your mother. Sex leads to a huge amount of trouble. Look at me, I married mine.”
“Richard!” Mum snapped before the call disconnected.
Sighing, I slid the phone back to Caden. “That...was very awkward.”
“Remind me to leave the phone call just to you,” Caden said with a nod.
We all heard the front door come open. Eli was standing in seconds. His hand going to the back of his pants.
“Josie?”
I reached out to Eli, laying my hand on his arm. “It’s just Simone, my friend and housemate.”
Who was beautiful. Would the guys notice? Would they want...her?
She came striding into the kitchen and halted in the doorway. “Um...hi.”
A giggle escaped me to see the shock on her face. Her mouth actually dropped open. “Simmy, this is Caden and Eli,” I explained.
“Hey,” Caden said with a smile.
Eli sent her a chin lift before sitting back down.
“They’re your Caden and Eli...? Holy shit, woman. You’ve been holding out on me.”
A blush crept onto my cheeks and then deepened when Eli teased, “Your Eli and Caden, sweetheart?”
Simone scoffed. “Ah, yeah, she talks about you two all the time.”
Let me die right now.
I wanted to hide my face, but I didn’t and I was glad I didn’t because then I would have missed the look, a look I didn’t understand passed between Eli and Caden.
What did that mean?
“Now I know why you left uni early, Josie. Totally understandable to leave for your guys’ visit. You two staying long?” Simone asked as she sat at the only spare seat left at the table.
“Not sure yet, have to speak to Talon.” Caden smiled.
Simone paused to take notice of that smile, like many women would. “Josie’s brother-in-law, right?”
“Yep.”
“Cool. While you’re here, you guys going to deal with the jackarse?”
“Simone.” I glared.
“We’ve already dealt with one by the name of Scott, that him?” Eli asked after taking a sip of his coffee.
“That’s one, but not the major dickhead.”
“Simone,
” I snapped.
“What?” She raised her hands in the air and then thumped them back on the table. “They need to know. It’s why they’re here, why I spoke with...” She sat back and slid down in her seat a little, whispering, “Shit.”
I gasped. “You told my mum?”
She shook her head. “Not really.”
“Nancy rang your phone. You didn’t pick up, Simone did. Nancy rang Talon and then asked us to come. We were more than willing, precious. No one fucks with Hawks, babe. You know this,” Caden said.
Simone told my mum everything, my foster mum, my only mum really. That explained what Mum had said before. Part of me was hurt and annoyed that Simone went behind my back. Betrayed even. And I knew she saw that written on my face as she looked at me. Her stare turned apologetic. She mouthed sorry.
Ashamed was also high on my list of things to feel. I was ashamed that I didn’t put a stop to it all in the first place. God, it took my friend to open up to my family on my behalf. It should have been me. Instead, I was being stubborn, thinking I could deal with it all on my own. The tears I shed nearly every day should have told me to pull up my big girl panties and seek help. My family had always wanted to be there for me. I knew that, yet I kept them away...for what? Nothing.
At least they were with me now. They had my back. I had their trust and love.
“I’m sorry,” I said to Simone. “I’m sorry I wasn’t the one who reached out for help from my family. I’m sorry it took you to do it. Most of all, I’m sorry for having you worry about me when I should have dealt with it.”
She reached across the table for my hand. It was fast, so I flinched, only she ignored it and took hold. “You weren’t in the right mind space, honey. I know you wanted to try and deal with it all on your own, but I couldn’t stand seeing you lose yourself more and more each day. I wasn’t enough to keep you afloat. I knew you needed more, you needed your family.”
Tears shined in my eyes. “It was cruel of me to put you through that. But Simone, you helped to keep me going each day. You helped me in many ways, and seeing Caden and Eli today...the tightness in my chest eased. Having people who are a part of my family here already feels wonderful and it makes me feel safe. Still, you have to know, honey, you are a part of my family as well.”
Her smile turned bright. “You know I love ya, honey.” She looked to both men and cleared her throat. “But we’re probably getting too emotional for these badarse bikers.” She stood from her chair, her hand falling from mine. “Where are you two staying? I could always share my bed.”
“Simone!” I scolded.
She laughed. “I’m teasing, Josie. I know these two are yours... Unless you’re willing to share...?” I was about to snap again when she held her hand up in front of her. “Teasing. Well, somewhat. Anyway, I’m heading for a shower. You three have a nice chat now.” With a final appreciative look to Eli and Caden, she walked out of the room.
“Sweetheart,” Eli started. Once my gaze and red cheeks met his, he continued, “I think you have some explainin’ to do on just what you’ve told your friend about us.”
“I-um, I. You see...” The truth echoed loud and clear in my heart. It was only that I couldn’t stop thinking about you both, and the situation, when you both came to me asking me to pick between the two of you, but I couldn’t. And now I find myself wishing I had both of you to love and both of you to myself. However, there was no way I could choose between the man who carried me away from my disaster of a life and the man who swooped in and took down my defences. Both of them meant so much to me. Both of them held a part of my heart. To hurt one, by picking the other, was inconceivable.
Which was also why I should turn them away. I should call Talon myself and ask for someone else’s help, because having the two of them there, so close to me, would make it harder for me to stay away from them.
Never had I thought I would feel desire to be with another person again after what I lived through with David. Never had I thought my mind would imagine what it would be like to...see them naked, to see what their hands, mouths and bodies could do to me.
Goodness, even thinking of it caused my panties to become damp.
Though, no matter how turned on I could be from thoughts of them both, I was still scared. I didn’t know if David had ruined me for anyone else. I didn’t know if I could enjoy the time in bed with a man. I never liked it when David touched me, when he was inside of me. Never once did I enjoy it. I couldn’t help but worry that it meant there was something wrong with me down there.
I also worried that when, or if, the time came, I would freak out. What would happen if I started having a panic attack while being intimate with someone? Could that person understand why I was so freaked and stop? Or would they be selfish, which was how I only knew men could be in the bedroom.
Then again, I knew nothing much about men.
What I did know wasn’t really worth a mention, because my only knowledge came from a man who haunted my dreams. A man who was brutal, mean and rough.
“Precious,” Caden’s soft voice broke through my thoughts. “Where is your mind at right now?”
Shrugging, I replied quietly, “Many places really.”
“Josie, you know you don’t need to be scared with us,” Caden said.
My brows shot up. “What do you mean?”
“It’s okay to have been thinking about us. It’s okay that you’ve spoken to Simone about us. You’ve been on our minds as well.”
“I-I have?”
Eli snorted. “Hell, sweetheart, there ain’t a day goes by that I don’t think about you. I’m sure it’s the same with Pick.”
My heart bloomed. Did that mean they still cared for me that way?
Still, there was the problem of having to choose between the two of them.
“Have you ever...?” Eli started. I looked to him to see his cheeks held a tinge of red. I bit my bottom lip to keep from laughing at this biker man getting embarrassed about something. He cleared his throat. “Have you ever been with anyone other than that fuckhead?”
Now I understood why he’d been embarrassed, because now I was as well.
“I, oh, heck. Um.” Instead of answering, I shook my head, my gaze to my lap. I couldn’t believe we were talking about it already. It seemed two years should have severed our connection, but having them there, it was obvious it hadn’t. They still felt they could ask or say anything that was on their minds to me.
“Billy,” Caden growled.
“Shit, sorry.” Eli sighed.
Caden obviously knew it was too soon to be talking about such things. Which left Eli probably feeling as though he’d done something terrible for even bringing it up. I didn’t want him to feel that way. I would like to talk to them both about it, only just not yet. I didn’t know where it was all going. I didn’t know if they were staying or if I still had to pick between them. Goodness, I didn’t even know what I was thinking.
I couldn’t think that.
Having them both.
It wasn’t right.
Still, the thought of it, of having the two men who had stolen my heart many years ago, caused my heart to race and my lady parts to quiver.
Suddenly, I stood. “I um, I have to get ready for work.”
Caden nodded. “We’re gonna quickly grab some things and make some calls. We’ll see you at your work. Are you okay getting there?”
After nodding, I started for the doorway, only to stop and look over my shoulder. “Eli,” I called and he looked over at me. “I don’t mind you asking. I would like...one day, to talk about these things. I guess, I’m just shy and still confused.”
“Confused about what, sweetheart?”
Was I really going to say it? “Confused about the way you both make my body want to feel again.” Yes, I was. With that, I left two stunned bikers in the kitchen.
Chapter Six
Pick
We made it outside before I said anything, and from the look on Billy’s
face, he was just as surprised about Josie’s comment as me. Never had I thought our girl, our shy, timid girl would turn into a minx. Christ, my cock immensely enjoyed the fact that I made her want to feel again. From the look in her eyes, it told me she was feeling more than just friendship. Lust had been present when those words flew from her mouth. “Two years and it’s like I’m learning about Josie all over again,” I said.
Nodding, Billy grinned. “Tell me about it.” He snorted. “I thought I fucked up royally but then she blew me away with what she said.”
“She’s attracted to us both,” I stated the obvious. She would have said one of us made her body feel things, but she hadn’t. She’d said both of us.
“I know.”
“What are we gonna do? I don’t want to scare her and I don’t want her to...be hurt in any way.”
“Having her pick between us would hurt her.”
Looking down at the road, I thought over our options. My gaze went to Billy as he was gettin’ on his helmet.
“We headin’ to the hotel?” he asked.
“Yep.” I went to my own ride and put my shit on. “Billy,” I called.
“Yeah?” he answered, sliding his leg over his Harley.
“On the way there, I want you to think about somethin’.” After he gave me a chin lift to say he was listening, I continued, “I need to know if you’d be willing to share Josie’s affection.”
Before he could say anything, I swung my leg over my girl, placed on my helmet and kicked her into gear, riding straight out and heading to the hotel.
Fuck. I hoped he’d consider sharing Josie. I was sick of the time we’d already wasted and now I knew she had feelings for the both of us, there was no more time to waste. I was willin’ to spread the time among the three of us if it meant Josie would be my woman in one way or another.
Billy was the only other man I was willin’ to share with and that was because I knew what he felt for Josie was as strong as how I felt. She consumed our minds.
