“Then you are a bigger fool than I thought. The facts are right here in black and white. Courtney Nicks is fine as hell, even though I don’t do white women, I would fuck the shit out of her. Get a load of that ass on her. She would put Kim Kardashian to shame,” he says with a cruel laugh.
I can feel myself getting angry from his harsh words. I push back my seat to stand.
“I don’t have to listen to your nonsense! You are hurting because you lost your girlfriend to her husband, and I can see that she was never really yours from the beginning. Now you tell me who the bigger fool is, Victor?” I question him angrily.
“I’m sorry that I said those things to you.” he says with a defeated sigh. “Please, sit back down. I have truly made a mess of things, haven’t I?”
I breathe in slowly and then exhale. Victor’s dark eyes plead with me to sit back down. I slowly retake my seat, but I am still simmering with anger, as well as harboring doubts about Beau’s commitment to me. Plus, Beau being around his old flame again doesn’t sit well with me. He didn’t even warn me that an ex-girlfriend will be doing studio time with him. The only people he ever mentioned were the members from his band. I silently fume at the thought of Beau keeping this from me. But I push those feelings aside because I can see that Victor’s apology is sincere.
“I remember we were friends in college before we even started to date,” Victor reminisces.
“I remember as well. Maybe we should have remained just friends then we wouldn’t be sitting here today with so much animosity between the two of us.”
Victor hangs his head in shame before looking up into my eyes once again. I can see that his remorse is real, as is his pain. My heart softens a bit for his predicament, as well as my own.
“Will you be staying a part of your little boy’s life, Victor? He is an adorable little boy, and he does look just like you,” I say, trying to push thoughts of Beau and Courtney aside.
“I most definitely will. I have made arrangements through the court to get him every weekend and every other holiday.”
“That is great. You are doing the right thing by remaining a stable force in little V.J.’s life.”
“Why are you being so nice to me all of a sudden? I know it’s only about you wanting me to sign away my parental rights to our baby,” he looks deeply into my eyes to gauge my reaction to his words.
“I am not going to sit up here and lie to you. I do want you to give up your rights to our baby, but that’s not the only reason that I am being nice. You made me recollect our genuine friendship from the beginning. Without you and Shelby, I don’t know what I would have done my freshman year in college. I left home feeling unwanted and unloved, but you and Shelby completed me once we bonded.”
“Do you forgive me for my foolishness, Noelle? I don’t know what the hell I was thinking when I asked you to abort our child. I didn’t know how to tell you that I had fallen in love with someone else, and we already had produced a son together; he was a toddler by the time you got pregnant. That night when you first told me we were going to have a baby was the night I was going to breakup with you,” he finally admits the truth.
I remain quiet as I take Victor’s words in. I am learning that regardless of whether I was with child or not, Victor and I were over, regardless.
“I don’t mean to hurt you, Noelle,” Victor says, breaking in to my musings. “I love you and will always love you. If you can forgive me, I will be a father to this child as well.”
I can feel that Victor is trying to make up for what happened in the past and do the right thing. Everybody makes mistakes and undoubtedly lives to regret those same mistakes. Who am I to keep Victor away from our child if he truly wants to do the right thing? Besides, this little baby that I am carrying inside me already has a little brother. Who am I to keep them apart? I silently question myself as so many emotions war within me.
“Victor, if you truly want to be a father to our child, there is no way that I can legally stop you. But having a relationship with our child means we will be co-parenting, but that’s it. We will be respectful and civil towards one another for our child’s sake, but I am with Beau now. You will have to accept and respect his presence in my and our baby’s life for this to work. Do you think you will be able to accept that?” I ask him in a serious tone.
I can see a pulse jumping in Victor’s right temple as he mulls over what I said. If he has high hopes for us reuniting, I wanted to be upfront about my expectations because Beau isn’t going anywhere. This is something that Victor is going to have to live with if he means what he says about being a father to our child.
“I have no other choice but to accept it…Right?” His dark eyes try to appeal to me with unspoken words.
“This is the way it has to be. Beau is a relevant part of my life, and I don’t want it to be any other way.”
“If it means you will forgive me, and we can eventually be friends again, I will accept this Beau Barringer in your life. It will take some getting used to, but I am willing to try,” he relents. “But if he ever hurts you in any way, I will be here for you in a heartbeat. I owe you that much, and I promise you that I have learned a valuable lesson. I won’t hurt you again.”
“Thank you, and I will forgive you in time…I’m just not quite all the way there yet,” I admit honestly. I know Victor is saying that if it doesn’t work out between Beau and me that he will step in and be my man, in a roundabout way.
“I will take what I can get. Your hot chocolate has gotten cold. Let me order you another one,” he says, raising his hand to signal the waitress. “Do you want something to eat?”
My stomach suddenly grumbles loudly. A blush rises to my cheeks, but I suddenly feel ravenous. My sudden appetite is initiated by the delicious smells circulating around the restaurant. Victor laughs aloud as the waitress comes over.
“Order anything you want. It’s my treat. I don’t want my baby starving,” he teases with a glint in his eyes.
“I can order anything?”
“Yes, anything,” he answers.
The waitress is waiting with her pen poised above her pad.
“What can I get for the two of you today?” she asks in a friendly tone.
“I will take a double mushroom burger with extra Swiss cheese but no onions, large steak fries, and apple pie with two scoops of vanilla ice cream.”
The waitress takes my order without skipping a beat.
“What will you have, sir?” She directs her attention towards Victor.
“I will have the same but keep the onions on my burger, and I will take the apple pie with no ice cream,” he replies.
“What do you want to drink?”
Victor and I give the waitress our drink orders. When the waitress leaves, Victor and I look at each other and burst out laughing. The ice and animosity between the two of us instantly falls away. It’s like we went back three years, where we’re sitting in the college cafeteria contemplating how we’re going to make our mark on the world; those days were carefree and fun. I knew in that moment that everything would work out for the best, for all parties involved.
Chapter 21
Beau
Complications
As of late, every night I get home, Noelle has been asleep. I know something is bothering her, but when I ask her she says it’s just her hormones. I know it is something deeper than that, but I promise myself that I will make it up to her as soon as my album is complete.
We only have two more songs left on the album, and they are the two songs that I am dreading the most. Today, I will be seeing Courtney Nicks again after almost two years of separation. Courtney and I were a couple in the past. She was everything I thought I wanted in a woman; we were one in the same.
She had my love for music and my passion for the music business as a whole. She was young and a new upcoming rock star in her own right. Eventually we grew apart because of our grueling schedules. She would be on one part of the globe and I on the other.
<
br /> Our schedules were adding stress to or relationship that eventually spilled over into our performances. So, we parted as loving friends with a deep affection for one another but still just friends.
I never brought up Courtney to Noelle. I don’t know why, but now, since I will be seeing Courtney again, I realize I should have. Before entering the studio, I unclip my cell phone and speed dial Noelle’s phone. It goes straight to voice mail.
“Hey, Babe. I just want to say that I love you, and I know we haven’t been spending that much time together, but the business with this album is about to be a wrap, and I will be all yours,” I say before ending the call.
I breathe deeply, inhaling the cold air before stepping inside the studio doors. The producers, my manager, and my band are already there. But my eyes are drawn to Courtney, who is getting her picture taken from some photographer representing some magazine label.
Courtney sees me step through the doors. Her green eyes alight on me, and she screams my name as if she is happy to see me. She says something to the photographer and makes her way towards me, where I am standing rooted to my spot.
Courtney is still as beautiful, if not more so, as she was two years ago. Her hair is a littler darker with highlights running through it, but she is still Courtney—with the bright, green eyes and the beautiful smile.
“Beau!” she says before jumping into my arms.
I barely have time to drop my leather guitar case before my arms, with a mind of their own, open wide to receive her. Her exotic, flowery, signature scent fills my nostrils. Old memories of her in my arms and our bodies twisted together as we made love try to penetrate my mind. I quickly push the memory out because of my newly found love for Noelle.
I release Courtney, and her body slides down mine. She looks into my eyes, and I know memories of us together are also lurking deep in her memory.
“It’s good to see you, Courtney,” I admit to her.
“It is good to see you too, Beau. You don’t know how much I have missed you over the years…I have missed us,” she says before taking my face in the palm of her hands.
My eyes instantly go to Courtney’s pink, glossed lips. They are shimmering wetly. I have time to pull back, but I don’t. Her soft lips plant themselves on mine. It is a closed-mouth kiss but a kiss all the same. A flash from a camera causes me to remember where I am as I pull away from Courtney.
“This is just like old times,” my manager Dave Dillinger says as he comes up and pats me on the back. “I told the photographer to snap that winning shot of the two of you. This picture will help send this album up the charts. I can see many awards in your future,” Dave goes on as emotions from a not-so-distant past war in my soul.
“Let’s get to work,” one of the producers calls out. “Time is money you know. It’s time to get this show on the road.”
I didn’t reply to Dave’s thoughts on the album. Courtney loops her arm with mine as we make our way to the soundproof booth, where my band members are waiting. Laney comes up to me and quickly pulls me aside.
“Don’t be a fool and fall back into your old ways. Noelle loves you, and all of us really like her. Don’t let a past that didn’t work out cause you to mess up a beautiful future,” she warns me.
“Laney, you have nothing to worry about. Courtney and I are just distant friends. I love Noelle, and I know she is the only woman for me.”
“Okay, if you say so. I just know that you and Courtney never really said goodbye. I know you both just drifted apart because of your careers. I am talking to you as a friend and as a woman who sees that Courtney still sees you as more than a friend. You should have heard the way she talked about you before you got here. It’s like she’s still in love with you…It seems as if two years apart doesn’t matter to her. My advice to you is to let her know up front that you’ve moved on so there won’t be any misunderstandings or complications in the future.”
“I get what you’re saying, Laney…I really do. Thank you for being a caring friend.”
I look over at my other band members, and they send me knowing looks. I know they will tell me what they are thinking later, but now is not the time. Courtney is waiting for me to begin our duet, so I stroll over to take my place behind the mic. She looks over at me and winks.
My heart rate speeds up, and my palms become sweaty. Damn it. Courtney Nicks is truly a complication from my past that I need to deal with before I make an ass of myself and ruin the best thing that has ever entered my life, which is Noelle Winters.
We finish the two duets titled, “The Right Way to Love Me,” and “A Love Unresolved,” after the fifth take. As we sit in the studio and listen to the album in its entirety, I have to agree that this will be one of my best albums.
The duets between Courtney and me are flawless and add to the validity of an award-winning album.
“That’s a wrap,” the producers claim.
“Yes indeed,” says Dave Dillinger. “I have rented out Club Capri for Friday night. I expect you all to be there. There will be photographers present to get plenty of pictures for promoting the album. Beau, I need you and Courtney to revive your romance and sell it to the public like never before.”
“Dave, you know that I am with Noelle,” I finally speak up.
I don’t want to have any part of Dave’s publicity stunt, even if it will help with album sales. Noelle has been hurt enough in the past, and I won’t be the one to add to her pain. I know my unsettled feelings towards Courtney will only lead to someone getting burned if I play with fire.
“Who is Noelle?” asks Courtney, coming up and cutting into Dave and my conversation.
Dave looks at me and shakes his head no. I glare at him before giving Courtney my full attention.
“Noelle Winters is my girlfriend.”
“Oh,” Courtney says. I can see the disappointment and sadness in her eyes as she looks into mine.
“They haven’t been dating for very long,” Dave cuts in.
Courtney suddenly smiles as if Dave’s comment gives her a chance with me after all.
“That’s good to know. Now I may stand a chance to win your love back,” she says, stroking the back of her hand across my close-cropped beard.
“The chemistry when you’re on the stage performing sizzles strong between the two of you.” Dave adds to the complicated feelings that arise like a sudden storm on the inside of me. I have to say something to put a stop to whatever is going on. It’s like my inner being is being pulled into two different directions.
I step back from Courtney and try to put some distance between us. Her hand drops to her side. My eyes go to the plunging neckline of her one-piece, leather jumpsuit. Her small feet are incased in leather, stiletto boots.
“Noelle and I may have been together for only a short time, but the love I feel for her is very real. Speaking of Noelle, I need to get home to her,” I say before bidding everyone a good night.
I grab my guitar case on the way out the door. Laney and the other band members catch up to me.
“We are going to go grab a nightcap at the bar down the street before heading home. You want to come with us?” Benji asks.
“I don’t know. I really need to head in,” I reply, even though I could really use a drink or two right about now.
“Come on, man,” Kendrick joins in.
“Okay, one drink and then I’m out,” I relent.
*
By the time I make it home later that night, Noelle is already asleep. The one drink I promised myself had become numerous shots of tequila. I am now feeling the effects from the liquor, coupled with the long hours in the studio.
I had quit smoking long ago, but tonight I even smoked a couple of cigarettes, again reverting back into my old habits. I divest myself of my clothes on the way to the bathroom. The smell of cigarettes hangs heavily to my clothes as I put them in the hamper.
I will have a cleaning service come by to pick up my clothes and have them cleaned tomorrow. I make a
mental note to myself before jumping in the shower and adjusting the water to a comfortable temperature. The spray from the showerhead is fortifying as I reach for my shampoo to wash my hair. I then use the same scented body wash to scrub clean.
I step from the shower and use a large, fluffy towel to dry off before donning a pair of pajama bottoms and nothing else. I climb into bed close to Noelle and pull her against my chest. Her bottom automatically toots out and settles against me.
My hand lies on her slightly rounded stomach, and I close my eyes. Noelle’s soft snores fill the room, and I smile because she swears she doesn’t snore. My love for her fills my heart, and her soft body against mine lures me into a peaceful night’s sleep, right beside the woman I want to spend a lifetime loving.
Chapter 22
Noelle
Who Says Love is Easy?
I wake up to Beau holding me in his arms. Our legs are intertwined, and our hearts beat rhythmically as one. My finger traces the length of his neatly-cropped moustache and beard as I stare lovingly at his too handsome face.
What will I do if Beau leaves me for another woman? My fingers trail down to the fine hairs on his muscular chest. How will I cope alone after he has made me fall so deeply in love with him?
Tears fill my eyes, and I blink them away. When my eyes finally clear of the unwanted tears, I find Beau is awake and watching me. He is looking into my eyes. His blue gaze feels like lightning striking my soul. I can’t stand the intensity in his gaze. I so want to ask him about the article that I read a few days ago, but I am afraid of the answers. In this moment of uncertainty, I wonder what is best: knowing or not knowing.
Noelle's Rock: A BWWM Holiday Romance Page 14
