The Wasteland: Their Champion Book One
Page 23
I watch as the tears drip down her face, each one a blow to my racing heart. The guards are shouting behind me. I ignore everything as I look into my mother's hopeless eyes. A bang sounds from somewhere in the room making her flinch, but she doesn’t turn around. Looking behind her, I scream when I spot my father’s crumpled form on the floor. She steps in my way, blocking my view of him and puts her hand on the glass, a sad smile on her beautiful face.
“I’m sorry, baby,” her voice is muffled by the layers of steel and glass between us.
No, no, no. Shaking my head, I smash my palm again and again on the scanner only for it to blink red each time. Frustration burns through me, fighting with the panic clawing at my throat.
“Indy.”
I ignore her and the guards, as I try and get through the door. I could circumvent the scanner, but that would take time I don't have. I could kill the circuit board with a-
“Indy look at me.” The voice is stern, the one she uses when I’m in trouble. I freeze and do as I’m told for once in my life, my eyes reluctantly dragging back to hers, as if not looking will make it OK.
“I love you, baby. Be brave and always look for the truth. I’m so proud of you.” I put my palm over the glass mirroring hers, each word hammering home my heartbreak. My chest tightens as my heart struggles to beat, the pain indescribable.
No, she can’t be saying goodbye. The tears finally burst from my overfilling eyes like a waterfall as a strained sob emerges. Someone grabs me and drags me away from the door. I fight them kicking and screaming, trying to get back to her.
She stays there watching me, the tears dripping steadily down her face. That horrible smile twisting her lips as she faces death. Something explodes behind her making her cringe, but even then, she doesn’t look away. Her eyes tighten, and her lips start to turn blue, her shallow breaths puffing against the glass. I keep fighting, needing to be there, needing to save her.
She starts gasping for breath and I fight harder. I hear a grunt behind me and the arms holding me loosen. I jump forward, running back to her. I’m tackled again and lifted in the air. I kick and fight as I watch her suffocate, her eyes dim, and she slumps against the door as I scream.
The noise of the guards, the siren, and everyone else start to blur together. I’m turned into a chest, a broad one. I notice the name Barrott stitched onto the guard uniform before my head is gently pressed to it.
“Don’t look.” The deep voice warns from above me.
I try and fight, bashing my fists against his chest. He lets me as sobs rack my body. He doesn’t speak or fight back, just lets me pummel his chest until I’m out of energy. I slip to the floor, him following, still cushioning me. Looking into his face through tear-filled eyes, I realise it’s the guard from earlier.
“No,” I whisper as his face fills with sorrow.
“I’m so sorry.”
“No!” I shout it and turn to the door, he allows me this time. The guards are surrounding it, all with grim expressions. One is shouting into the control panel.
“Tell me how this happened!”
“I don’t care, keep the door sealed.”
I ignore them all, instead, I look at my mother’s body against the glass. I know she’s dead, so is my dad. It’s now just me. I’m alone in space.
“Not alone.” The chest vibrates against me as he speaks.
I don’t remember saying it out loud, but I must have because Barrott answers. I ignore him and everyone around me, staring at my mother’s open dull eyes.
Eventually, I’m taken away. Barrott lifts me in his arms and strides down the ship. I don’t care. I don’t care where we are going or who he is. My mind is numb, and I can’t feel my body. I know this is shock and I should be bothered, but I let the numbness fill me up.
I’m taken to the medical wing where they check me over. The doctor tries to talk to me, but I ignore him, so he turns to Barrott instead. My eyes lock on the floor replaying my mums last moments again and again.
Barrott crouches by my side where I sit on a cot. I pay no attention to him, I can see his mouth moving out of the corner of my eye, but it seems like a lot of effort to focus on the words. I wonder what happened to the cake I was carrying, I think idly.
Eventually, Effie comes in and throws herself around me sobbing. I don’t even try to return the embrace, my arms like lead at my side. She cries into my shoulder, her words floating over my head. Her father, Howard, stands in the curtain door hesitating, heartbreak on his face. He’s just lost his best friend. I know the feeling.
The next couple of days are a blur. I don’t sleep much, Effie takes me to their housing unit and stays by my side the whole time, assuring me she’s there for me. Howard tells me not to worry about anything, that they will look after me. They tell me how sorry they are all the time, I hate the sympathy and pity in their voices.
It’s the day of the funeral -- if that’s what you want to call it. I stand in front of the wooden boxes containing my mother and father. My emotions are fighting the numbness, but I need it now more than ever. The whole ship is here; the first two deaths ever recorded in space. Some are being nosey, some are crying, and some just want to see the orphan girl break down.
I won’t. I won’t show them that. I catch Barrott’s eyes where he stands to the side watching me, but I ignore him too. I won’t let anyone know how much I’m suffering. How could they possibly understand? I won’t let them think I’m the broken girl, when in reality my heart is with the two wooden boxes being pushed into the airlock.
They can’t keep the bodies on board, one of the doctors told me, so they will be purged into space. There was a ceremony where my mum and dad’s colleagues spoke. I didn’t listen to a word. None of it matters.
The buzz of the airlock closing sends a stab through my heart, but I block it out. I watch as the outer door opens, and they fly out into the abyss of space. A lone tear rolls down my cheek and I swipe it away before it can fall. I push back the tears by gouging my nails into my thigh, they will be the last ones to fall in front of anyone. I stand there until the crowd breaks, going back to their own lives, and their own families.
I stand there alone on that platform until a throat is cleared behind me. I turn slowly. Barrott is watching me, concern and something else in his eyes. Still not bothering to speak, I watch him, and eventually he sighs.
“Come on, I’ll take you to the Jenkins’ quarters. That’s where you are living now right?” He winces at his words. I step towards him, and I can see Effie and Howard hesitating at the door, waiting for me. I won’t be going with them. I need to be alone with my grief. I need to be somewhere I can break down, somewhere filled with my family.
I shake my head.
“No. I’m staying in my family’s unit,” I ignore his protests and walk through the whispering people who stayed behind to watch. I hold my head high and walk through, ignoring their stares and remarks. I meet the eyes of a bald man standing next to a woman with jet black hair. They nod at me. Striding through I count the steps back to my unit. Back to my empty house and life. Only then will I break down and let myself feel. I will be like my mother, I will not show them anything. They will never have it to use against me.