It hadn’t taken Sarah long to work out that the man in front of her thought she was someone else and it was likely to be his mother. She’d seen it many times with the clients she counselled.
She’d found Tim in Chrissie’s garden, although she didn’t know it was him. She’d been told by Chrissie that Tim had died whilst out on a weekend fishing trip. She’d approached the stranger to ask him what he was doing, but he’d just stared at her, a glazed look in his eyes. She’d noticed Chrissie’s door was wide open, panic had hit her and she’d run all over the house looking for her. Half peeled potatoes on the table and the radio blaring caused Sarah to think she’d left the house in a hurry. She called the police and then followed Tim from a distance, as he wandered aimlessly down the garden. She thought there might be a chance he would lead her to Chrissie. Her instinct was telling her it was Tim, but logic was telling her she was wrong.
And now here she was, standing on top of a cliff, her blonde hair whipping and irritating her face, pretending to be some strange man’s mother so that he didn’t jump off the cliff.
“Dora shut me in the cellar while you were out. She said I’d been naughty but I wasn’t, was I Mother?”
“Of course you weren’t. You’ve always been a good boy.” Sarah hadn’t any idea who this Dora was but she was going along with it anyway.
“Why did you leave me then?” He was crying now, sobbing like a small child, snot running down his lip.
“I didn’t leave you, sweetheart. I’m here.”
Tim edged backwards, causing Sarah to put her hand out to him, fearful that if he took any more steps he’d be falling into oblivion.
“Don’t lie! You were never there. You didn’t want me!”
Sarah couldn’t help feeling there was a parent somewhere, living or dead, who was responsible for this mess, someone who should have been facing up to all this crap instead of her. She thought of the evening she was supposed to be having with Chrissie and how much she’d been looking forward to it. Curled up on the sofa with a glass of wine, a hot meal and her best friend, a far cry from what she was doing now. Sarah made a mental note that when she moved here she wouldn’t actually offer her services within the village; perhaps she’d stick to ten miles distance from it.
“Come over here towards me so we can talk about this properly.”
Tim stared at what he saw as his mother, unsure whether to move towards her or not. Daphne stretched out her arms towards him, encouraging him to come forwards. Tears were dragging her makeup down her face like an unusual art technique on brilliant white paper.
“But you don’t love me; you always wanted Verity instead of me.”
Sarah was beginning to lose her patience. She didn’t want to be standing on a cliff, the cold wind chilling her bones, trying to coax some crack pot from jumping to his death. As heartless as this thought was, in her experience they usually ended up finishing themselves off, one way or another, especially when the damage was so deeply ingrained. But she knew she had to keep talking to him, he may have some knowledge of where Chrissie was, and she was her main concern at the moment. She was hoping he’d just frightened Chrissie, causing her to flee from the house, and that she was tucked up somewhere safe and warm. Her instinct said so, but it was also telling her she needed to keep this man alive, whatever state he was in.
“I loved you both the same and I still do very much. Now please, darling, come away from the edge.”
This was the worst sentence Sarah could have uttered to Tim. Being unaware of the facts and having to ad lib as if she was on a stage playing a part she hadn’t rehearsed, Sarah had unintentionally flicked a switch in Tim’s head.
He took a deep breath and stepped backwards, his foot sliding through the air instead of hitting the earth, and he was gone.
Sarah screamed and ran forward; she hadn’t actually anticipated him going through with it right there and then. The next thing she knew there was a blur of police officers running towards her and the cliff’s edge.
CHAPTER TWENTY ONE
Eve found herself outside Grace’s gate, which was the entrance leading to the front of her cottage. The house where the man who’d killed her daughter lived. Alice probably came through this gate the night she died, thought Eve, full of innocence and trust, not for one moment imagining her Uncle Tim would hurt a hair on her head. She shook the image from her mind and it dispersed into the background ready, Eve was sure, to reappear at a later date.
She’d been back to her own home a couple of times that day, hoping to see Grace, but there had been no-one in. She had been occupied with many other things and assumed that Grace would be at her own house sorting out Tim’s affairs. She’d been putting off going to Grace’s house all day, it was the last place she wanted to be, but the concern for her sister had grown throughout the day and she knew she had to put her own needs aside for the time being and offer her some support. She was astounded at the amount Grace had had to cope with while she’d been in hospital. A spark of guilt prodded her heart as she thought of her own self inflicted trauma.
Eve was unsure about all the information she had received that day; she supposed she was feeling a bit numb. The feeling of shock and horror hadn’t lasted very long, as if it had hit the surface of her body but had been unable to penetrate it.
There had been a weird sense of comfort that had replaced all those feelings, an odd sense of relief that it had been a family member, someone they all knew, rather than a stranger. It was something she could get the measure of, having known him for so many years, although she realised she hadn’t known him very well. It didn’t stop her feeling angry or outraged or guilty that she hadn’t spotted it, but it was preferable to seeing a blank figure in her mind’s eye. She couldn’t explain these strange feelings, so she was just accepting them as they greeted her. Any sort of comfort at the moment was a light relief from the storm that had been raging on inside her for so many years.
The news that had upset her the most had been hearing that Tim was dead; she had so many things she wanted to say to him, scream at him. For a short while she’d wanted to be the one who had killed him, in a violent and painful way, not the way she imagined, where the sea swallowed him up, filling him with salty water and calming him within minutes to drift into an eternal sleep.
She’d spent quite some time with Daphne after being told everything she knew. They’d cried together, having tried to make sense of it all; Daphne blaming herself and Eve telling her she wasn’t to.
After she’d left Daphne she’d spent the rest of the day on her own; she needed time to think. She’d walked for most of it; had gone to the area where Alice had been found, forcing herself to face it all. Then she’d made her way to the beach for a walk and to take in the fresh cold sea air. Even though the news that day had been mind blowing, she felt different for the first time in a very long time.
Something had shifted inside her, she no longer felt in absolute desperate despair; having some answers to such monumental questions had somehow liberated her. And even though she was still hurting and completely aware she would have many more feelings to deal with, she was free. All in the space of a few hours she’d been thrown into moving forward with her life. No waiting for Alice to come home, no wondering anymore.
After walking for quite some time before being forced to stop in a cafe due to the ferocity of the rain, Eve decided to go and see her husband Jon. He had the right to know what she had been told, and she wanted to talk to him more than anyone else. They had shared a beautiful human being, whom they had produced together; Alice had been a part of both of them.
His face went from shock to concern to love when he saw the small figure of his wife on his doorstep. Her light brown hair was tied back from her face, showing up the unusually dark brown eyes she shared with her sister, Grace. Those eyes now had a spark of life in them; they’d been like flat pieces of granite since Alice had gone missing. She looked like someone had breathed the elixir of life into her lung
s, saving her from dying out altogether.
After she told him all she knew, he was understandably distressed and she stayed with him, letting him talk it all out. It was roles reversed for the first time in their married life; he had always comforted and protected her and he’d become so heavy with it he’d had to leave for the sake of them both.
By the end of their tears and conversation together, they had found an equal footing, a way forward to working on their future together.
Having laid many things to rest that day, Eve wanted to see her sister. And here she was stuck at the gate like a statue, unable to lift the latch with her stone fingers and walk up the garden path to the front door. She felt ridiculous. Especially after all the hurdles she’d faced that day, this should have been relatively easy. She knew she’d have to go in there at some point and she knew that Tim wasn’t there anymore.
Just as she was mustering up the courage and feeling like her whole body was turning from stone to flesh again, a police car pulled up behind her.
“Are you Eve Thomlinson?” the officer called through the wound down window.
Eve turned slowly from the space she had occupied for many minutes, dread filling her entire being. Grace had been missing all day and fear was now reaching out and gripping her throat.
“Yes...why?”
“Your sister, Grace has been looking for you. I’ve just had a message on my radio saying she’s at a Christine Newman’s house. She’s quite worried about you. Jump in and I’ll take you over there.”
Relief flooded her and it felt like it was leaking into her bones. The feelings startled her slightly, it dawned on her that she hadn’t had any feelings about anyone else since Alice had gone missing.
The journey in the police car gave her time to reflect on how dead her life had been. She suddenly felt very ashamed; Alice wouldn’t have wanted her to live her life like that, and she’d only just realised it.
*
Chrissie, Sarah, Grace and Eve spent the evening after their eventful day talking right into the small hours. It was an odd combination, seeing as they weren’t all familiar with each other, and at times was awkward and excruciating but it worked. They shared many emotions together and it caused a bond to form that would last for the rest of their lives.
The fire was lit, the outside world had been shut out quite some time ago and stiff drinks were flowing along with the conversation. They were all completely exhausted but somehow managed to stay awake to counsel one another.
For the first in a very long time Chrissie’s house took a deep breath and let out a very large sigh, as a veil of serenity and peace landed on the whole area, dispersing the cold, sinister atmosphere as easy as someone blowing on a dandelion head.
*
The guilt had been too overwhelming for Daphne to bear, and she had passed away two years to the day since she had unburdened everything she’d known about Tim. But aside from her despair she had lived the best two years of her life. Not only had she gained a friendship with Eve and Grace, but she developed one with Chrissie and Sarah too. Chrissie had wanted to interview her for research for her new book and Sarah, having newly arrived in the village, had wanted to come along and get to know a few people. For Daphne it had been like gaining four daughters where she had lost one. They consoled her through her bad moments, telling her she wasn’t to blame for Tim’s behaviour. But it didn’t matter how many times she heard it, she still felt guilty. He had been right about the fact she hadn’t wanted him. He’d arrived far too soon after they had lost Verity, well too soon in Daphne’s eyes. She had been unable to bond with him and she remembered so clearly feeling like a child being given a new toy to replace a much loved old one. Only, this hadn’t been a toy she’d been dealing with and she was no longer a child. The bond she had expected and thought every mother was supposed to feel hadn’t arrived.
People had thought a boy had been better than having another girl, which they thought would highlight the fact she wasn’t Verity and could never replace her. A boy signified a fresh start, a new chapter in her life, but Daphne didn’t feel any of those things, she’d just felt more miserable than before and worse still, she’d felt trapped.
Over and over in her head she would run memories, wondering if she could have tried harder, spent more time with him, loved him more.
She knew that Verity’s murder had been the trigger for all the crimes Tim committed, but she had been the catalyst for it all by making him feel so unwanted and unloved.
Eve and Grace told her time and again that if Verity hadn’t been murdered she wouldn’t have felt like that towards him, so therefore it had been the fault of the monster who’d cruelly taken her daughter. They assured her he wouldn’t have been aware of her feelings, that lots of mothers went through the same thing, only it was diagnosed as post-natal depression today rather than ignored as it was back then. It wasn’t an excuse for him to go round killing innocent children; everyone had a choice in life, no matter how badly they had been treated.
Even Daphne telling them she suspected Dora of abusing Tim couldn’t convince them that it was all her fault, or how horrible she felt she’d been to him because she simply didn’t like him. They loved her and couldn’t imagine she would intentionally hurt anyone, even with her harsh prickly exterior.
Sarah even tried to talk to her on a professional level, to reassure her that at all times she would have done the very best she could for her son and she wasn’t to blame herself any longer; that they had both been victims of tragic circumstances. There was no rhyme or reason for it and Daphne beating herself up wouldn’t change any of it one little bit.
Absolutely nothing would convince Daphne otherwise; it eased the guilt and softened the pain for her but it didn’t dissolve it. It was something no one could take away from her and she knew they were just being kind. The guilt of her son’s actions would stay with her forever. Daphne felt after all was said and done, she and Jack had chosen to bring him into the world, and it had been their duty to guide him in the right way.
Their support and loyalty helped her though and it was like having her daughter back with her again, only in four separate people. She felt extremely privileged to have them around her, fussing over her, genuinely interested in what she had to tell them.
Daphne passed away peacefully with all four of them around her. She was no longer scared or bitter about her life and she left, feeling quite peaceful and ready to go home.
*
Tim was found guilty of the murders of Jody, Karen, Jennifer, Jacqueline, Lucy, Jonathan, Nadine and Alice. He was sentenced to life in prison for each murder.
He had survived his attempted suicide because he hadn’t anticipated the ledge that broke his fall halfway down to the sea. And it quite literally broke his fall, by snapping his spine in two places, leaving him paralyzed for the rest of his life.
His pleas of insanity at the time of the murders had fallen on deaf ears and he was removed from the court after a long hearing. There wasn’t one parent, family member or friend in the area who wished he’d died that day on the cliffs. Everyone wanted him to serve his sentence in full for the rest of his life, because they knew how much he wanted death to come and relieve him.
He was put on a hospital wing in prison and watched by the staff determined to keep him alive. He appealed against his sentence, much to the shock of everyone concerned, but it was understandably thrown out of court. He felt that the sentence was immensely unfair because he’d been damaged as a child, but as the judge had pointed out to him on his day of sentencing, he’d had a choice. Everyone has the freedom to choose their actions.
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Memory Scents: A Psychological Thriller Page 21
