“Oh, yeah, no, I didn’t mean that I’m not comfortable here, it’s just that I thought . . .” Oh God, what had I been thinking again? I couldn’t think when Gabe was looking at me like that.
He laughed softly. “Relax. I was joking. I think it’s great you’re going to be staying with Faith.”
“You don’t want me here?” I blurted, very nearly pouting.
He laughed louder this time and leaned in and took my hand. “Of course I want you here and I was happy to offer, but I think Faith makes sense for now.”
I wasn’t sure how to take that. While he sounded genuine in his offer, he also seemed happier than he should have been I was going to be staying with Faith.
He squeezed my hand, still smiling. “I’m so glad I’m not a woman. Stop overthinking it. No, I love having you here, but this is the first time you’ve lived out of home.”
“So what? I need to sow my wild oats or something?”
“No. Well, actually if you want to do that with me, that would be nice.” He shot me a disarming grin. “But Chloe, from what I’ve seen of your mother, your entire life has been stage-managed up until now. It will be great for you to have some space to figure out what you want now you’re not living there anymore.”
“No, it wasn’t, not really,” I rushed to reply, not particularly sure why I was trying to defend Mama. “It just made sense to live at the estate. You’ve seen the size of the place and it’s the only chance I get to see Damon, too.”
“I know, but didn’t you say your publicist is your mother’s publicist?” he asked gently.
I frowned and looked down at our hands linked together. “Yeah, she is.”
“And how do you feel about that?”
I met his eyes. An unexpected wave of gratitude washed over me, making me feel all choked up. “I don’t like it,” I admitted.
He shrugged. “Then do something about it.”
I continued to stare at him, close to tears.
“What?” he asked.
I sniffed. “You know, no one has ever asked me that before.”
“What? About whether you like your mom’s publicist?”
“No. About how I feel.” How had I never seen it before? I’d always been so busy running to the next engagement or film set or movie premiere that I’d never really stopped to appreciate how much my life had been determined by others, particularly my mother.
A shadow fell across Gabe’s gray eyes. “Then I think it’s time somebody does, don’t you?”
I nodded, feeling sad. “I do. Thank you.”
“And for what it’s worth, I’d have you here living with me in a heartbeat. But I don’t think that’s what you need right now, is it?”
“No,” I agreed. “Is it that obvious?”
“What?”
“That I don’t have a mind of my own.”
Gabe straightened in his seat, but didn’t let go of my hand. “That’s not what I meant at all. Chloe, you do have a mind of your own. A brilliant one. You just haven’t had the chance to choose how to apply it until now.”
What he said was so true that it scared me. The way my mother had encouraged me to accept certain movies or attend specific events. I’d always thought she was being helpful, that she was on my side. I was sure that’s what she told herself, but if that was the case, why had she never stopped to ask me what I wanted?
Gabe’s simple question also made me reflect on my growing relationship with him. It was strange, the way Gabe and I fit. How we saw each other for what we were. We also saw in each other what we had the potential to be, if we’d only give ourselves the chance.
“Hey.” Gabe squeezed my hand again. “Don’t be sad. This is an exciting time for you. You can start to make your own choices from now on. Trust me. It will be fun.”
Fun. He was right. If I was truly going to make choices for myself, then that needed to involve some pleasure, too.
“You’re right,” I said, feeling butterflies take flight in my stomach. I chose to ignore them because dammit, I knew what I wanted and I had no use for butterflies. “I choose you.”
Gabe smiled. “I’ve got no idea why, but I’m willing to go with that. I choose you, too.”
“No, you don’t understand. Make love to me, Gabe. I want you.”
Gabe’s smile vanished and he swallowed. “Are you sure?”
“I’m sure, Gabriel da Silva. Please make love to me.”
Chapter 31
His smile returned. “Please?”
“Do you want me to beg? Does that sort of thing turn you on?” I asked coyly.
He let go of my hand and stood up, the dining chair scraping on the polished concrete floor. “Everything about you turns me on, Chloe.”
Oh. I loved his honesty and I suddenly felt shy. I bit my lip and took another sip of my tea because my throat felt dry.
He came around to stand beside me and held out a hand. I set the mug down on the table and slipped my fingers through his. A flash of memory came to me. The night of my twenty-first birthday party and the casual way he had taken my hand and led me over to the piano. The excitement, the anticipation, but it had also felt easy and right from the start.
I let him tug me to my feet and he pulled me to him, wrapping his arms around me. Lips, soft and sure, had me melting against him with a sigh.
He lowered his head and nibbled at my ear. “I would love to hear you beg for more, though.”
How could I feel so full of bliss when my chest was so tight and my body was on fire? It was an intoxicating combination.
“Come on.” Gabe tugged my hand.
I let him lead me to his bedroom, a sense of peace settling over me despite my body’s heightened state. Being with Gabe like this just felt right.
In the bedroom, Gabe switched on a bedside lamp and the soft light made the large, open space feel warm. There wasn’t much in his bedroom. A modern-looking king bed and a couple of nightstands, but that was it. A door led to what I assumed was the master bath, and another to a dressing room. The main features of the room were the massive windows overlooking the coast.
Gabe followed my gaze. “No one can see us up here, don’t worry. We’re miles from the main road.”
The creepy text messages and images popped into my mind, but I pushed them away. He was right. It was private up here.
Gabe tucked a curl behind my ear. “You sure about this?”
He was so thoughtful, which confirmed my decision to lose my virginity to him, but it was time to put an end to his doubts.
I removed my T-shirt and let it drop to the floor. Gabe watched, entranced, and the dark need in his eyes gave me the courage to keep going. I slipped off my bra then undid my jeans. I liked this, I realized. His hungry eyes roaming over my body, as if he couldn’t get enough.
I turned so my back was to him and made sure to hook my thumbs through my panties as I lowered my jeans. I smiled to myself when I heard his intake of breath as I pushed my jeans lower, lower until they were at my feet. I kicked them away and turned to face him again.
Gabe’s chest was rising up and down as if breathing was an effort.
“I’m sure,” I said, and waited for him to come to me.
Except he didn’t. He remained fixed to the spot staring at me as though I might not be real. The reverence in his gaze was what did it.
I’m in love with you, I thought, the words whispering through my mind, but I didn’t say them. I didn’t want to ruin this moment. This perfect moment where this beautiful man gazed at me like I was a treasure to be cherished.
“You don’t seem so sure,” I whispered, and bravely took a step forward.
Gabe’s Adam’s apple bobbed up and down as I stood mere inches from him. It was like he was scared to touch me. I’d have to do something about that.
“Can I touch you?” I placed a palm on his chest.
He nodded, his eyes fixed on me.
“Good,” I said. I ran my hand across his torso, feeling the muscle t
hrough his T-shirt. When I got to the bottom I used both hands to push it up over his shoulders, over his head, and let it drop to the floor.
“That’s better.” I swallowed and looked down at his jeans. He was still watching me, transfixed. Hell, I might as well just do the rest. I reached for the button of his jeans and he caught my hands.
“I’m sure, Chloe. Hell, I’m so sure.” His voice was rough. “But I don’t know if I can control myself and I want to be gentle.”
“You will be,” I promised him, because I knew this man would do everything he could to look after me. “But I’m not a doll. You can’t break me.”
A muscle in his jaw twitched. “You’re killing me.”
“Why? What do you want to do to me? Show me.”
He closed his eyes.
“Gabe,” I said, my voice firm. “Show me.”
His eyes snapped open and in an instant I found myself against him, skin on skin, and I shuddered.
“This,” he whispered in my ear. “I want to do this.”
His hands slid down my back, across the curve of my hips, and one slipped around the front between my legs.
I grabbed onto his shoulders as his fingers found me wet. I slumped against him as he found the spot, circling it, then he dipped a finger into me and I arched back, holding on as best I could.
He kissed me, long and deep, then released me, his teeth grazing my lip. “I want to hear you.”
I could no longer speak and he sensed my need for him to take over. He slipped out of me and guided me to the edge of the bed.
“Lie down.”
I scooted back on the bed and he put a knee on the edge of the bed to climb on.
I found my voice. “No. Take your jeans off. I want to see you.”
Satisfaction flared in his eyes and he unbuttoned his jeans, removing them while not taking his gaze from me.
My mouth opened in a round ‘o’ to see him standing in front of me. Lean and sculpted, everything about him was taught, much like a finely tuned instrument. My eyes fell to one particularly finely tuned part of him and I bit my lip.
He grinned, suddenly boyish. “Don’t worry, I promise I won’t hurt you.”
“It’s not that. It’s . . .” I love you. I cleared my throat. “You’re beautiful.”
If he minded being called beautiful he didn’t show it. “And you’re good enough to eat.”
He climbed onto the bed and before I had a chance to gather my wits, his face was between my legs and my hands found themselves in his hair.
I moaned, wondering if I’d ever get enough of him doing this. I gripped his head as I writhed beneath him, caught somewhere between pain and pleasure.
“Please,” I breathed. But I couldn’t finish, my body quaking uncontrollably. “Gabe, please. I want . . .” And again, I lost my power of speech.
Gray eyes danced just above my stomach. “You want more?”
“I want you. Please, Gabe, I want you inside me. Now.”
It was an ache I couldn’t explain, a need for something greater than myself that burned from within.
Gabe’s expression turned serious and in one swift movement he hopped off the bed and went to his nightstand. I watched as he rolled on a condom, hoping that I could do that for him another time.
Then he was back on the bed, hovering above me.
“I’ll try not to—”
I put a finger to his lips. “Just be you.” It was all I wanted. Him. Only him.
Two lines appeared between his eyebrows, some emotion I couldn’t identify, then he lowered himself onto me. It felt so good to be pressed skin to skin with him like this, but it still didn’t feel close enough.
The tip of him pressed against me and I wrapped my legs behind his hips easing him in an inch. It felt tight, but good.
His eyebrows shot up. “I’ll go slow.”
I was done with slow. I was twenty-one and it had been way too long as it was. But now I knew what I was waiting for. Who I’d been waiting for.
I smoothed my hands along the curve of his back, down to his ass. I pressed myself up against him, using my hands to guide the way. The tightness grew sharper, more intense.
“Jesus, Chloe, just let me take a breath so I don’t hurt you.”
Beneath the sting of him entering me was something else, something I inexplicably recognized. It was the sensation of being filled and I wanted more of it.
“Just do it, Gabe, please.”
My fingernails dug into his skin and Gabe’s restraint was gone. He released a breath and pushed into me and the sharpness snapped, stung, and disappeared. I held tight to him waiting for what came next, which was when I discovered the need for him had only grown stronger.
I tipped my hips to let him enter further and he moaned, the most delicious moan. I wanted to hear it again and again.
“Chloe, are you OK?”
“Fine,” I said happily. “Now, don’t we do something like this?”
I moved my hips beneath him so the length of him stroked me from the inside.
I whimpered and Gabe stilled. “OK?”
God, yes. “More.” Who knew I could be so needy?
He eased back so he could see my face and we started moving together, a silent rhythm only we could hear. With each beat of us coming together I drew him deeper, pushed him to go harder. I was so full, but not full enough.
Our rhythm became faster and more desperate, and we weren’t silent anymore. The sound of our flesh meeting, me panting, the bed moving. The shy part of me would normally be embarrassed but I was caught in the spell of Gabe’s song.
There was no pain now, only the sweet seduction of the music we were making together and it kept rising, rising toward a crescendo that was just out of reach.
Without a word, Gabe slipped a hand between us and stroked me as he continued to thrust into me.
I cried out in shock or joy, I didn’t know which. My body bucked and fought this new rhythm and it was too much, too intense, to be filled both inside and out like this. I felt like I was going to break or burst, and just when I thought I couldn’t survive Gabe’s onslaught, warmth from my center swelled and crashed over me.
I let out a high-pitched moan, a melody of sorts, and Gabe followed me, his release pulsing inside me, wringing every last drop of pleasure from me.
Gabe collapsed on top of me and he went to slip out of me, but I held him down.
“Don’t. Stay.”
Gabe relaxed and rested his head on my shoulder. “OK?” he asked.
I smiled to myself. “You know, I didn’t think it was possible.”
“What?”
“To be a human instrument.”
Gabe frowned and eased up to look at me. “Huh?”
“You’ve got rhythm, Drumsticks,” I told him, using Faith’s nickname. “You can play me anytime.”
He grinned and collapsed back onto me, and we lay there together for a long time.
Chapter 32
“This is why you don’t want me to live with you,” I told Gabe the next morning as I pulled my jeans on.
“S’alright,” Gabe mumbled, tugging his T-shirt over his head.
“No, it’s not alright. It’s four-thirty in the morning. It’s inhuman.”
“Yeah. I’m gonna need coffee.” The look on his face suggested he was envisaging his coffee machine downstairs.
“Definitely. Glad I showered last night.” I blushed.
That woke Gabe up a bit and he grinned at me. “Yeah, that was nice.”
Nice wasn’t the right word. More like hot. And I wasn’t talking about the shower. My body ached from our lovemaking and I couldn’t have been happier.
The sound of gravel crunching out front and the sweeping arc of a set of headlights made my smile vanish.
“What the hell?” Gabe walked over to the window and I joined him.
“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me.”
It was Viktor.
I let out a growl of frustration and
stormed downstairs. The cool morning air was like a slap to my face so I was well and truly awake by the time I was down the steps and standing in front of Viktor.
“Go home,” I told him.
He held his palms up. “I’m here to take you to the set.”
“Gabe is perfectly capable of doing that.”
Viktor raised an eyebrow. “Is he capable of being your bodyguard too?”
I ignored him. “How did you know I was here?” I demanded.
“I took a lucky guess, but your iPhone also told me where you were.”
Dammit. I hadn’t thought to turn that setting off. “Fine. Now you know where I am you can go home.” I pointed down the driveway.
“I quit.”
I dropped my hand to my side. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me. I don’t work for your mother anymore.”
“But, but . . .” It wasn’t even dawn yet, I was still loved up, and I couldn’t make sense of what Viktor was saying.
“I only work for clients who are prepared to take appropriate measures to protect themselves.”
“You don’t work for Mama anymore?”
“No. I’m in need of a new job and you could do with a bodyguard. I’d like to apply for the position.”
I stared at him for a long moment and then held up an index finger. “Just give me a moment.”
I walked back to Gabe’s front steps and sat down, my head spinning. Viktor had terminated his employment with my mother? How could that be possible? I’d often secretly thought Viktor was a little bit in love with Mama. For him to quit, it would take a pretty serious reason.
I looked back up at him. “Because of me?”
He nodded and walked over to the stairs but remained standing. “She didn’t try to deny what she’d done. If anything she tried to justify it.”
“I haven’t spoken to her. Did you tell her I know?” I wasn’t ready to acknowledge what she’d done, not yet, but I was very surprised that she hadn’t tried to call me as soon as Viktor confronted her.
He nodded. “She knows. I advised her not to call you and to give you some space, but I doubt she’ll be able to control herself for more than twenty-four hours. It’s probably better you don’t speak to her until you’re prepared to deal with her dramatics.”
Heartbeat (Hollywood Hearts, #3) Page 18
