“Thanks for what?” Lottie asked.
Nicolas started and spun around. He relaxed when he saw the school counselor. “Oh, hi Dr. Rodriguez.”
“Hi, Nicolas. Are you staying out of trouble,” she asked, her eyes sparkling.
“Are you kidding? I wouldn’t dare piss off Ms. Novak.”
“That sounds about right. How’s Darla?”
It was as if all the air got sucked out of the room. Aliana shot her friend a dark look. Lottie ignored her.
“She’s doing okay,” he mumbled.
“She should stop by my office. I miss our talks.”
“She doesn’t go here anymore,” he said, surprised.
“Doesn’t matter. My door is open to former students. She’s special.”
He considered her words. “I’ll tell her. Look, I’ve got to go.” He brushed past her on the way out of the office.
“Dammit Lottie, why did you do that?” Aliana demanded.
“I know Nicolas is one of your pets, well Darla is just as important,” Lottie said fiercely.
Aliana disagreed. The girl had attempted to stab a freshman a year and a half ago and ended up in juvenile detention for eight months. She’d been out for the last six months and was now pregnant. The girl had been a bully the first day she stepped foot in Bertrum High, and she consistently escalated. Aliana had been a hairsbreadth from expelling her before the attempted stabbing had taken place. Her fault. Totally her fault Kevin had almost been stabbed. If she’d just gotten Darla out of the school sooner.
“I know that look. Stop it. You followed the process. Neither of us knew she was that desperate.”
“She wasn’t desperate. Quit saying that. She’s vicious.”
“You just can’t see past her actions to what motivates her. A lot of pain and abuse made her that way.”
“Nicolas and she grew up in the same house. They couldn’t be any more different. How do you explain that?” Aliana scoffed.
Lottie shook her head. “When it comes to some students, there’s no reasoning with you. It’s what keeps you from making the leap from great to exceptional.”
Aliana sighed. “Did you come here for a reason?”
“It’s time to leave. You have an appointment, remember?”
Aliana glanced up at the clock on the wall. Where had the day gone?
“At least I know talking isn’t hurting you anymore.”
“Arguing with you always comes easy.”
“We don’t argue. We debate. Get your stuff. The sooner we get a diagnosis, the closer I am to meeting Cop-o-licious.”
“Seriously? You can’t be serious. You’re a grown woman, right?”
“Sex on a stick?” Lottie asked innocently as they walked out of her office.
“Keep your voice down.”
“He has a great ass, doesn’t he?”
God, she was going to need a fireman to put out the flames on her face. Lottie was outrageous, and it continued all the way out into the teacher’s parking lot.
“Are you telling me you didn’t pick up on one physical attribute on our erstwhile knight in shining in armor?”
“See, that’s the problem. There is no such thing.”
“Sure there is. You’re one. I’ve watched you be a savior to hundreds of kids. Why wouldn’t there be someone who is a white knight for you?” Lottie asked.
Aliana turned to look at her friend. “It’s a fairy tale.”
“No, I’m serious. I’ve met some really good men in my life. My husband was one of those men before the wreck that killed him.”
“I wish I could have met him,” Aliana said not for the first time.
“I wish you could have too. But that was another time, another place.” Lottie shook off her sadness and smiled. “Who knows, cop-o-licious might be another one of the good ones.”
Aliana rolled her eyes, then hit her key fob to unlock her car. “I’ll meet you at the doctor’s office.”
“Well, don’t be late.”
“You do realize you’re a nag, don’t you?”
“Honey, you might not believe in a knight in shining armor, so instead you have a fairy godmother watching over you. That’d be me.”
Aliana wasn’t sure she even believed in that.
***
That evening when she went to bed, she saw her nightlight still on and smiled sadly. She’d had a knight once. He’d given her a sunflower and a saint necklace to watch over her, to keep her from being lonely. She remembered that day like it was yesterday. It was the day before Hunter Diaz was going to leave forever.
“I’m not going to leave you forever. I’ll write you letters. I’ll visit.”
Aliana picked at her ankle-length cotton skirt. The one that had gotten so much negative attention that day at school. They were in the backyard of her grandparent’s house, sitting on the old swing set her grandfather had put up for her before he’d died.
Hunter didn’t say anything. She looked up, he was staring at her intently.
She hugged her stomach, she knew it pooched out.
“Don’t do that,” he said angrily.
She hunched over further, looking down at the grass.
“Alia, I think you’re perfect the way you are. You never have to hide from me. You have to know that.”
He’d said that a lot over the years. He always tried to make her feel better, especially when she would show him the pictures somebody drew of her. She hadn’t shown him anything or told him stuff since he found her under the bleachers.
“You know I have to go? Don’t you?”
She nodded her head, her hair heavy in a bun. She wore it that way so nobody could pull it. Her parents wouldn’t allow her to cut it. Some of it got loose, and Hunter brushed it back behind her ear. Her head jerked up to look at him.
“You have the prettiest hair.”
“I do?” she asked, her Czech accent thick.
“Yes,” he smiled. Hunter’s smile made her think of one of her favorite songs because it made her heart happy. He didn’t do it often, but when he did, it showed the creases in his cheeks. He would hate it if she called them dimples.
“You and Mamie are the only reasons for me to stay, but I have to leave, you understand that, don’t you?”
She shook her head, but saw his dismay, so she quickly nodded.
It hurt, but she gave her best smile possible.
“It’s okay Hunter, I’ll be fine,” she lied.
He sighed. “I have something for you.”
She frowned. He pulled out a small box from his beat-up backpack and handed it to her. Her hands trembled. Hunter was giving her a gift. She was excited but scared. She hadn’t thought to give him anything.
“I don’t have―”
He laughed. “Chaquita, just open it.”
It wasn’t wrapped, just a brown box. Inside was a sunflower. She picked it up with reverent fingers.
“You remind me of sunflowers. They grow through the pavement and are strong and pretty, like you.”
She huffed out a breath. “I’m not strong. I’m weak. That’s why you have to take care of me.”
“I hear things. There’s a lot you don’t tell me. You live with a lot of abuse. Yet you still manage to come to school every day no matter what those bitches do. I admire you more than anyone else I know.”
She didn’t understand him. He was the brave one. He was the one who was going to be a soldier, and he thought she was strong? He was crazy.
“No,” she said in Czech, then realized her mistake. “You’re wrong, Hunter.” She hated it when she sounded foreign. When she said as much, he smiled.
“I like how you talk. It’s different. It’s cute.”
“You’re acting odd,” she accused.
“It’s because I won’t see you for a long time. I needed you to know I’m going to miss you. Look at what else is in the box. I looked it up in one of Mamie’s books and went to a special store to buy it for you.”
She pulled
a delicate gold chain with a gold medallion out of the box. It had a woman who looked like the Virgin Mary on it. “Is it the Blessed Mother?” she asked.
“You’re so Catholic,” he teased.
“So are you,” she shot back.
“I just go to mass,” he laughed. “That’s Saint Rita, she takes away loneliness and protects women from abuse.”
Aliana’s eyes widened. She’d never heard of her. “Really?”
“Honest. Let me put it on you.” He stood up from his seat and walked behind her. She watched in fascination as the medal dropped down in front of her, feeling it as he fastened the clasp at the back of her neck.
“There.”
She lifted and turned it so she could look at it. She jumped up from her swing, dropping the box on the ground, but still gripping her flower firmly in her hand, then flung her arms around Hunter.
“This is the best present I ever got. Thank you. Thank you.”
He laughed. “You’re welcome.”
At the sound of his laughter, Aliana realized what she had done, and released him, stumbling backward. He caught her before she fell.
“Hey, what’s going on?”
“I shouldn’t have hugged you.”
“Sure you should have, how else would I have known you liked the present?”
He totally confused her.
“Sit back down. I have one more thing for you.”
She sat back down on the swing, and he crouched down in front of her and pulled an envelope out of his pocket. “Can you promise me, not to read this until after I leave?”
“I don’t understand. Why?”
“Just promise, okay.” He took her hand and wrapped it around the envelope. “Swear.”
She looked into his intent brown eyes, “I swear to God, Hunter.”
“Thank you.”
Aliana pulled the long chain from around her neck and pulled up the St. Rita medal, staring at it for long minutes. She had bought the chain after she’d been teased about the medallion. Now, she was glad because it rested against her heart. Aliana went to her dresser and took her Bible out of her drawer, opening it to the page where her sunflower was pressed. She stroked it with her finger before putting it back. She opened up her purse and pulled out a lined paper out of her wallet, Hunter’s letter. His bold printing was faded from all the times she had touched the words. She read it once again, then again, and put it back, too. Her ritual complete, she got back under the covers.
“It’s a dream. A dream,” she said in Czech. “There are no knights for you. You are nothing but a responsibility that kills men’s dreams.”
Chapter Three
Two days later, she was still thinking about knights and fairies. It seemed they attracted one another, and it was a bright spot in her day to think about it. Aliana had gone and visited her mother. Today had been a red-letter day. Her mother had recognized her when she was brushing her hair.
“Love,” she said in Czech. “You should wear your hair down, it’s so pretty.”
Aliana had to fight back tears. She’d never told her mother why she’d started wearing her hair up. Now, it was habit. Her mother had hated it up. She loved Aliana’s hair, called it her crowning glory.
“I know it’s pretty, it’s because it’s like yours, Mama.”
“Take it down,” she asked. “I want to see it.”
“Sure.” If doing that little thing would bring a smile to Danica Novak’s face, she would do it. Hell, she’d do cartwheels if her mother asked. She pulled out the bobby pins holding it up, then bent at the waist and ran her fingers through it before swinging her head backward. She had to admit, she always felt better when the weight of her hair wasn’t on her head. It felt good loose.
“You’re beautiful.”
“Thank you, Mama, but you’re biased.” She picked up the brush again and started to softly brush her mother’s fine white hair.
“Can you put lotion on?”
“Sure can.”
She opened up the drawer beside the bed. “What kind, Mama?”
“Rose.”
She took out the rose lotion and was assaulted by the smell. Images flashed in front of her face. So much blood. She shoved it down. Down. She was here with her mother, she needed to concentrate on the here and now.
“That feels so good,” her mother said when she rubbed the moisturizer into her palms and fingers. “I’m tired now, Baby.”
“I love you, Mama.”
“You’re my beautiful girl. Always remember, Love. You’re beautiful.”
Damn, she was going to lose it. Her mother was so kind and good. She didn’t deserve this life.
“Why are you crying, Aliana? Where’s your father? Tell him to come here.”
These were the worst moments when her mother asked for her dead husband. “You rest, Mama, I’ll go get him. Okay?”
Experience told her that these moments of lucidity wouldn’t last long, and when she woke up, she wouldn’t remember their conversation. It was best just to pacify her. It was good that her mom remembered the Lazlo Novak from their younger years together, and not like he was when Aliana was a teenager. Back then he hadn’t been exactly happy, but he’d had dreams. He had his poetry. He hadn’t crashed over the cliff into true bitterness yet.
“Thank you, Baby. I don’t like sleeping alone.”
Aliana choked back a sob, for her mother and herself. She hated thinking of the way her father had left them. She hated the confusion and the pain he caused with his suicide. Mostly, she was dead tired from the sorrow his last words had brought to her life.
“He’s coming,” she lied to her mother. “Can I sing to you until he arrives?”
“That would be wonderful. Get the guitar.”
Aliana knew that when the dark mire of ugly memories poured over her, music was a savior for her. Music had always been important in their house growing up, so there were many lullabies for her to choose from. Her mother had often played her guitar while either she or her grandmother had sung to her. She pulled the guitar out of the cupboard. She had bought it for times just like these. She knew it was in tune because she had played last week.
“What song would you like, Mama?”
“One of yours.”
It took Aliana a moment to think of one she felt like singing. She had to settle her mind. Finally, she thought of the perfect one, something to celebrate life. She had written it six years ago when her mother had first moved in with her. She knew her mother’s mind was starting to go, so she wanted to honor her and the caring woman she had been while raising Aliana. She called it simply, Danica.
My Mother raised me up
Shouldering my burdens
Wiping My Tears
My Mother Loved Me
So, I Stand Strong Today
Danica’s Love Blessed Me
She Raised Me Up High
Danica’s Love Is Clear to See
It Lifts Up To the Sky
Her Arms Gave Comfort
Into them, I ran
Always she provided solace
My Mother Loved Me
So, I Stand Strong Today
Danica’s Love Blessed Me
She Raised Me Up High
Danica’s Love Is Clear to See
It Lifts Up To the Sky
She sang another couple of Czech lullabies and her mother fell asleep.
Shorinda wasn’t working that night, so she said goodnight to the night nurse on duty. She stopped by Trader Joe’s on the way home. It was the first time she’d gotten groceries since she’d been attacked. She waited to get out of her car until one of her neighbors, Lester Nuñez, pulled into the parking lot and gave a sigh of relief. Okay, now she could go to her house.
Instead of focusing on the fact that she’d waited in her car for eighteen minutes for someone to show up, she decided to focus on the good. She’d gotten to talk to her mom. She swung her Trader Joe’s shopping bags out of the trunk and thought about Ernie and Lottie. Th
ey were quite the pair. Sparks had flown from the second they had sat across from one another at the restaurant.
Fumbling with her lock, she dropped one of her grocery bags. The tomatoes rolled out and she dumped the other bag and started after her fruit when she was catapulted into the air. A dragon roared fire over her head and then something hit her back. Fire. What? Black.
“Can you hear me?”
Leave me alone. Why wouldn’t he leave her alone? She tried to slap his hands away.
Oww. Don’t pull on my eyelids. Hurts. Light hurts.
“Stop that.” Where was her crisp vice principal voice?
“She’s conscious.”
“Course am,” she slurred.
“Pupils look good.”
“That door saved her.”
Tired. “Sleep now,” she said.
Everything went black again.
***
Aliana woke up to the sound of a different Czech lullaby. She couldn’t stop the tears. She was in pain and remembered enough of the conversations around her last night to know her townhome had blown up.
“Mama?” she asked in Czech.
“It’s me, your grandmother, Love,” Her grandmother answered in the same language.
Aliana recognized her voice. She should have from the song.
“Aliana, my darling girl. How are you feeling?” Aliana opened her eyes and saw her grandmother. She looked like a dowager queen in her long black dress, white lace collar, and perfect posture.
She looked around and realized she was in a private hospital room. Sakra. Okay, this deserved worse. Fuck. She ground her teeth and felt pain, a lot, and moaned.
Her grandmother rose from her chair, bent over the bed, and cupped her cheek. “What can I do to make this better for you?”
Aliana placed her hand over her grandmother’s fragile hand. “Just having you here helps.”
“If that is true, why am I not your emergency contact?” Her grandmother arched an eyebrow.
Fuck. Sakra. She was so busted.
“How did you find out I was here?” Lottie had so lost her best friend status.
“Your home blew up. Don’t you think I would have heard about it?” came the spry reply.
Her Passionate Hero Page 4
