As they girls ate supper at the kitchen table, Natalie said, “Ginger and I need to go hunting in the morning. Our meat supply is getting low. I would like to harvest a deer, a couple turkeys and then some fish. The suckers should be starting to run in a week or so. A barrel of salted fish would taste good. Once we have some meat stored away, the ground will be warm enough to plant our garden.”
Monique said, “I will begin cleaning the cold room under the cabin in a couple of days, as soon as I have healed a little. I like taking on this human form and doing some hard work, it makes my body stronger when I return to my feline form.”
Natalie asked, “Do we need to bring a freshened doe goat down from the mountains to provide milk for Blackjack, or do you plan to nurse him a little longer?” Monique thought about the question for a moment and then said, “I will nurse him for another few days to strengthen his immunity, and then I will wean him over to goats’ milk.”
As the girls finished their meal, Monique said, “I have other news to discuss with you. I will explain while I help with the dishes. I need to be up on my feet and help around here. I am beginning to feel uncomfortable about Blacky and the twin’s absence. I hope they do not get hurt as they deal with the humans.”
As the girls carried the dishes to the sink, Monique explained that there would be a guest staying at the cabin for a couple days. She explained that the human life form that one of her friends had lived within for eighty some years, had died. The woman, named Sally, had taken on the life form of a raven and would be nesting with Charles in the old abandoned mine. Monique explained that she wanted Sally to stay at the cabin with them in a human form while they discussed the plans to thwart the construction efforts of the new highway. Sally would be working with Charles to infiltrate the humans and pass information back to Blacky and those whom assist him.
As Monique finished drying the last pan, she said, “I need to add on another bedroom to this cabin for Sally. I want her to be comfortable while she stays with us and to have a room here that she can sometimes use when she gets lonely and needs the companionship of another human as she is accustomed to. Over time, she will adjust to her new life form and learn to join in with the other ravens in the surrounding area.”
Natalie asked Monique how long it had been since she had seen or talked to Sally. Monique thought a moment and said, “Just before the canine life form she lived within was killed by a truck, I guess. That would have been about eighty-five years ago.” Ginger said, “You two have a lot of catching up to do in the next few days. Your friend Sally is very welcome in our home. We will make her very comfortable and insure she has all of the emotional support we can offer.”
***
A light snow was falling as James Reardon left the restaurant and made his way down Madison Street. He stopped at the pedestrian crossing at North 7th Avenue and patiently waited for the crossing light to change color. Just as the light changed and James stepped out into the roadway, a red Corvette skidded through the intersection. James tried to jump back up onto the curb, but his feet slipped on the snow covered asphalt. Fortunately, the front end of the sports car rode very close to the ground, so the momentum of the car simply scooped James up and tossed him into the air. He landed on the hood up against the windshield, but then slid down the slippery snow covered car hood and landed on the ground as the car came to a stop.
Two other pedestrians saw the incident and ran to James’s aid. As they arrived, James stood up, dusted the snow from his pants and jacket and calmly walked back to the sidewalk. As the people talked to him to insure he was in fact okay, James scolded the driver of the Corvette for speeding on the snow covered roads and told him to slow down, but the driver just returned to his car and drove away.
As James continued walking down 7th Avenue towards his apartment, he chided himself for not paying more attention as he walked. He was not usually so caught up in his own thoughts, and to step out into the roadway before carefully checking to see that the traffic had stopped was unthinkable. He had often times seen vehicles run red lights and force pedestrians to flee for their lives. He has seen one elderly lady hit and killed by a truck as she tried to cross the road in a rainstorm. She had done nothing wrong, however, the driver of the truck blamed the old woman for the incident; said she walked to slow.
There was a song by the Culture Club softly playing on the radio as James entered his apartment. He always left the radio or television playing when he was away from home; he hoped the noise would discourage thieves from breaking in during his absence. After he hung up his coat in the hall closet, he sat down in his recliner and considered the events of the day. His knee was very sore and he had a skinned ankle. As he sat thinking, he realized his injuries could have been much more severe if circumstances had been just a little bit different. He promised himself to pay a little more attention to his surroundings in the future.
In all reality, James certainly had good reason for his inattention over the last few weeks: It had been a very difficult year. His mother had replacement knee surgery in January and had spent most of the spring and summer healing and enduring physical therapy. The road to her recovery was a struggle at her age, but she remained a trooper throughout the ordeal. She worked hard with the therapist, exercised religiously at home, and followed her doctor’s orders to the letter. By mid-summer, it seemed that her quality of life had drastically improved and she soon returned to doing the things she loved. Her gardening and playing cards with friends occupied much of her time.
Then in November, just before Thanksgiving, James found his mother lying on the kitchen floor, unable to talk or move her left arm or leg. He had felt a wave of panic overtake his mind, but managed to comfort her while he called for an ambulance. The ambulance arrived in just a few minutes, but James struggled with his own emotions until he heard the sounds of the rescue vehicles coming down the street.
While waiting for the EMT’s to get their equipment into the house, James asked his mother how long she had been lying on the floor. Her speech was slurred, but he managed to hear the word, morning. His heart almost broke as the meaning of that word sunk into his brain. He looked around the kitchen and saw a spilled cereal bowl on the floor by the refrigerator. He suddenly realized that she had laid there for over ten hours.
***
As James helped raise the head of his mother’s hospital bed, he asked what she would like for lunch. He explained that he would call and order food for her and the hospital staff would deliver it in a few minutes. She slurred her words, but he understood her well enough to realize that she did not want any food, or anything to drink. Her words surprised him since she had not eaten in twenty-four hours, but as he considered her comments, he hoped she was just feeling under the weather from all the medicine the doctors were giving her. He asked if she would like some chocolate pudding, or maybe some Jell-O. She shook her head to indicate she wanted nothing.
James sat and talked to her, but she seemed distant. He wondered if she knew who he was, so he told her that her sister Robin planned to visit her after lunch today. He saw her look into his eyes, but he was uncertain if she realized whom Robin was. He continued to talk to her, trying to draw her out. He hoped she would tell him how and what she felt. He desperately wanted to know if her mind was damaged in some way, but until she would speak more than one or two words at a time, he had no way of judging her mental status. Finally, he could stand it no more. He asked, “Mother, do you know who I am? Do you know my name?”
James’s mother looked into his eyes and he saw her eyes begin to form tears. She slurred her words, as she said, “I am sorry child, I do not know your name, nor do I know my own name.” Then the tears began to run down her cheeks. He moved up close to her bed, leaned down and hugged her. When he leaned back in his chair, he asked, “Do you know what happened to you, and why you are here in this hospital?” She shook her head from side to side to let him know she did not understand her present predicament. He took her hand in his
and said, “Mother, your name is Sally, and you had a stroke that has caused your mind to forget most of your past. The doctors tell me that, in time, some of your memory should return. I am your son and my name is James. You do not have to be afraid; I will be with you every moment until your mind gets better so you can remember things again.” He patted her hand and said, “I will get you some water to drink. You must at least drink some water to stay hydrated.”
Sally’s doctor met James in the hallway before talking to his patient and asked how she was doing. James explained what he had discovered about her memory, and said that he could not get her to drink or eat anything. When the doctor sat down beside her, he introduced himself and then asked her some questions, trying to see how much she did remember and how much she had forgotten. He checked her heart and giggled with her over the cold stethoscope, trying to get her to come out of her shell. He told her, “I am having some food sent up and I would like you to eat some of it. I know you may not feel like it, but you must eat so you can get your strength back, the food will help heal your mind.” James saw her scowl and then heard her tell the doctor she just wanted to die, and would not eat or drink anything. The doctor sat quietly a couple of moments, contemplating his next move, and then said, “You have friends and family that love you, and they want you to get well so you can go home and get your life back on track. Your son loves you very much and plans on staying with you until you can go home. I promise you that you will feel better in a day or so, but you need to eat and drink to get well.”
As the doctor left the room, James sat back down beside his mother and said, “I do love you and I hope you change your mind and eat something.” She looked James in the eyes, and then he saw the tears begin to run down her face again. He again hugged her, and held her close for a few minutes until her emotions calmed. He held her hand and asked if she could tell him what she was feeling and if he could do anything to help settle her anxiety. She looked her son directly in the eyes and slurred the words, “I have no self-worth? I cannot remember names, I cannot get to the bathroom on my own, I cannot remember my family or friends, and I cannot hold a child in my arms without fear of dropping them. I need to just die and make room in this world for another to take my place.”
James held his Mother’s hand and tried not to cry. Finally, he said, “I would like to address your comment about self-worth. First, do you think your God has stopped loving you simply because a blood clot has clouded your mind? I for one believe your God loves you just as much today as he loved you yesterday. If your God loves you, then you have self-worth. Second, I want you to understand that I love you very much, and that my love for you has not changed, nor will it ever change the way I feel towards you, therefore you have self-worth. You say you would rather die than live as you are right now, but the doctor believes you will get better and be able to live a productive life. Your life may be different from before the stroke, but you can still be a productive, loving, caring person just as you always have been. In a little while, you will have friends and family visiting you. You may not remember their names, maybe not even their faces, but they remember you and they still love you. Their love for you is unconditional, unchanged, and undying. They believe you have a lot of self-worth.”
As they talked, two nurses entered the room and said, “Sally, we are here to give you a bath and change your bed. We have toothpaste and a toothbrush, a comb for your hair, and some little Hershey Chocolate bars to snack on while we work. Do you like chocolate as much as we do?”
James saw a smile cross his mother’s face as the nurses talked to her. One nurse asked if she would like to sit in the shower and wash, or if she would like a sponge bath in bed. He watched his Mother begin raising herself up off the bed. She told the nurses she would like to get up on her feet and try washing in the shower. She spoke to the older nurse and said, “I may need your hands to get all of me clean, but I would like to feel I have some self-worth.” Mother looked into James’s eyes as she spoke, and he winked at her. He stood up and left the room so the girls could accomplish their chores.
James found a chair and sat just outside his mother’s room. As the nurses prepared to put Sally back into bed, he heard his mother ask, “Would you let me try to walk to the bed on my own, but keep close to me in case I need your help. I need to see how much of this body still works properly.” The nurses encouraged Mother and she did manage to make it back to bed on her own, but she was exhausted by the time she had settled under the covers. I heard her say to the nurses, “My son offered me some food and water earlier, but I did not want to live any longer, then. His words have changed my mind about life, and I would like to try eating if you could order some food for me.”
James heard the nurses struggling with their own emotions as they helped his Mother decide on what she wanted to eat and drink, but they kept their composure until after they left her room. As the younger nurse stepped out into the hallway where James sat, he realized tears were running down her cheeks. He spoke to her and she turned and looked at him. He smiled at her and said, “Thank you for caring so much about, Mother.” He handed her a tissue from the box on the table where he was sitting, and saw a smile appear on her face as she dried her eyes.
James went down to the cafeteria to get a cup of coffee to allow his mother time to rest and think about her life, about her self-worth. When he returned, his mother patted the edge of the bed and said, “Sit with me for a spell and tell me about my family. Do I have other children? Do I have Grandchildren?” James realized that some of the sparkle had returned to her eyes, and she had begun smiling a little. When she smiled, the right side of her mouth remained fixed, frozen in time, but her eyes showed the depth of her soul, the return of her love of life.
During the night, James was startled awake by a sound. It sounded as if someone had spoken his name. He sat up in his reclining chair and looked around for the source of the sound. No one was in the room except for his mother, so he walked over to her bed. She was very still as he put his hand on hers. When he touched her hand, he realized that the warmth of her life force had left her, and she now lived with her God. He stepped out into the hallway and spoke to a nurse who quickly called for assistance. Later, as the doctor pulled a white sheet up to Sally’s chin, the nurses entered the room to pay their respects. As they entered, they each read the sign on the door that read, “I have lived a full and wonderful life. Please do not resuscitate.”
As James sat beside his mother’s bed, waiting for the funeral home director to arrive, a pastor entered the room and kissed Sally on the cheek, she spoke to Sally and said, “I will open the window now, your spirit is free to escape the forces that held your physical body to this earth. Someday, I hope our paths will cross again in the afterlife. Be free my friend, go with the wisdom you have gained by living here with us mortals.”
The pastor walked over to the window and pulled it open. A gentle breeze blew the curtains into the room, but the wind suddenly changed direction. The bottom of the curtains followed Sally’s spirit as she left the confines of the hospital room and began her adventure in the spirit world. The pastor slowly closed the window and turned towards the shell of the woman who once lived within it. She walked over to the bed and drew the sheet up to cover Sally’s head.
The pastor had turned her back as the life force spirit that left that hospital room formed the body of a beautiful black raven. The bird raised it wings and flew back towards the hospital. The bird landed on the windowsill and looked into the room where it’s once human form lay. The bird felt sorry over the loss of the human form it had so enjoyed for eighty some years. The bird turned itself around on the windowsill and took flight.
As the bird soared out over the city, it decided to fly north. The raven did not know why it chose to fly north, other than it felt a force drawing it in that direction. The raven flew hard, realizing its journey would take many days, if not weeks. As the bird flew, the image of a mountain formed in its mind, an old memory
from an earlier life form. The bird heard the sound of a human voice in its mind, the words the bird heard was the name of a mountain, possibly its new home. The bird realized its destination was now the Seine Mountains, located somewhere in the northern part of the North American Continent. The bird also heard a name spoken. The name of the life form was, Monique.
The bird had flown for many days before another raven joined it in flight. As the bird flew up alongside her, it spoke a name that seemed to spark a memory. The bird that joined the journey introduced itself as, Charles.
Sally introduced herself and explained that a voice in her head wanted her to continue to fly north to the Seine Mountains to meet with someone named, Monique. Charles said, “I know of your journey. Monique told me of your trek and asked me to escort you to the mountain cabin where she now lives. Monique is a feline with magical powers. She often times takes on the life form of a human. She and two humans who live with her are expecting you for supper. I will guide you to the cabin and help you assume a human life form during your visit. After you spend a few days at the cabin, you will be returning to your present life form, that of a raven, and live with me. You will join me in a quest to prevent the destruction of the Seine Mountains by a group of capitalists who are intent on building hotels and casinos.”
As they flew, Charles asked Sally how she knew Monique. Sally said, “I am uncertain. When my spirit was released from it human form, I felt a need to fly north. During the first part of my flight, I heard the name of the mountain and the name of that who was seeking me. I was not aware that I had ever been to the Seine Mountains, or if I know whom Monique is. I guess the answers will soon be revealed to me.”
Ronnie Coleinger: A Winter Collection Page 7
