“Are you nuts? He’s an oaf!”
“He’s an oaf with very long legs, and quite frankly, my friend, you need a bath.”
A faint green spark glowed behind Kail’s eyes, then flared when he stuck his hands in his pockets. A look of irritation marched across his visage, slapping at sparks, and he produced something red and squishy from his left side. “Fine. We’ll ride the oaf, but I’m not driving,” he said. Kail moved as if to toss the dripping berry, but paused, and after only a moment’s consideration, shoved the lint-covered pulp in his mouth.
Tion turned to Conway. “What about it?
Conway bent his head and stared at his hands. “Gee, fellas. I don’t know.”
“And why not?” Kail demanded. “It’s not like we’re heavy enough that an oaf like you would even notice.”
“Kail…,” Tion warned. “Let me handle this.” He stepped forward, putting himself between the green-fired temper of his partner and the reluctance of the human. He opened his mouth to speak, but Conway stopped him.
“Believe me, guys. I’d be happy to give you a lift, but I don’t think it’s a good idea.” Conway leaned down, shifting his gaze from side to side as though he might be overheard, and whispered, “You’re not safe with me.”
The rush of air as Conway sighed with the admission knocked Tion backward. Kail barely caught hold of his pack before Tion dragged him down, and they both landed on their butts in a tangle of arms, legs, and sticks.
Conway drew back, horrified. “See? Your friend is right. I am an oaf.”
“Nonsense,” Tion replied, extricating himself from Kail’s smelly embrace. “It could have happened to anybody.”
Conway shook his head. “No. You don’t understand. I’m cursed.”
2
“So, tell me about this curse.” Tion sat on Conway’s left shoulder with a lock of the man’s straight brown hair clutched in his fist.
When the two sprites finally talked Conway into giving them a lift, they had each started out on opposite shoulders, but when it became apparent that the man’s rather frightening habit of wandering off the road was due primarily to his eyes watering at Kail’s aromatic proximity, Kail had reluctantly agreed to move south, glaring at his partner and his conveyance in turns as he scrambled into the man’s right shirt pocket and finally fell asleep.
Conway shrugged, which nearly knocked Tion from his perch. “Sorry,” he said as he helped Tion regain his composure. “I can’t help it. I’m cursed with bad luck.”
“You humans have such peculiar notions. Everybody has bad luck and good luck. It’s just a part of life.”
Conway shook his head vigorously, and if Tion hadn’t let go of the man’s hair, he would have gone flying into the air. He hastily grabbed Conway’s shirt instead.
“That’s what everybody says, but still.” Conway patted his shirt pocket and drew his hand back quickly as sleepy curses and green fire singed his fingers. “Look what happened to your friend,” he said, and stuck a burnt finger in his mouth.
“Stuff like that happens to Kail all the time,” Tion said. “The puddle of piddle was over the top, I admit, but if there is a root to trip over, a post to walk into, or trouble to find, Kail is first in line for the prize.”
“Maybe.” Conway sounded doubtful.
“No maybe about it,” Tion said cheerfully.
“There’s other stuff too.”
“Like what?” Tion asked.
“I can’t talk about that,” Conway replied, suddenly melancholy.
Tion patted the shoulder beneath him. “Well, when you can, I’m all ears.”
Conway stopped so suddenly that Tion nearly lost his grip. “Do you mean that?”
“Mean what?” Tion asked distractedly, trying to reseat himself and wondering if this ride was worth the risks.
“That you’d be willing to listen?”
“Sure. We’re friends, aren’t we?” The words fell out of his mouth unbidden, and Tion was vaguely surprised to realize they were true. He liked this clumsy, bumbling human, despite their bumpy—and in Kail’s case, smelly—start.
“I’d like that,” Conway said, now pensive instead of melancholy. “I never had a friend before.” He began walking again, moving slowly so he wouldn't unseat his passenger. “I just hope you don’t get hurt for it.”
Tion laughed. “You worry too much. Besides, what’s the worst that can happen?”
“Hopefully we’ll never find out,” Conway said and lengthened his ground-eating stride.
The summer sun reached its zenith just about the time Conway sat down beside a small foot bridge. He extended his arm to the ground, and Tion shouted for Kail to wake up as he ran along the incline to land in the springy turf. Kail poked his head up over the edge of Conway’s pocket and scowled fiercely.
“Try cleaning out your pocket sometime, you oaf.” Kail sneezed twice and plucked lint off his tongue. “I’ve got lint in places not even Tion knows about,” he grumbled. Kail scrambled into Conway’s waiting hand. “And it wouldn’t kill you to wash your hands once in a while, either.”
“Sorry,” Conway muttered. He set Kail down beside his friend.
Kail immediately skinned down to his smalls, tossing his sticky, smelly clothing to all sides with obvious relief. He dove from the bank into a slow-moving pool and paddled around happily.
“Mind the trout, Kail. You remember what happened the last time.”
Kail stopped paddling and scowled. Fierce green fire sputtered as water dripped into his eyes. “Very funny, wise guy. Very funny.” He dipped under the water and surfaced a moment later. Tion ducked as a soggy pair of smalls sailed past his left ear.
“Trout?” Conway asked as he began untying his boots.
Tion unlimbered his pack and dug beneath the flap. He pushed the clock and assorted knickknacks aside until he found the soap. “Yeah.” Tion grinned and tossed the lump to Kail, who was still scowling. “The last time Kail went skinny-dipping, he found out the hard way about dangling worms in front of a hungry fish.”
“Ha ha. Very funny.” Kail turned his back on them both to soap himself vigorously.
Conway looked confused for a moment, blushed furiously, and Tion laughed. “Yes, exactly.”
“Hey!” Kail glared over his shoulder and threw the soap onto the bank. He dove several times, rinsing suds from his hair.
Tion slipped out of his own clothes and, still laughing, splashed into the water to join his friend. He caught Kail’s slippery body and pulled him close. “Hey, you missed a spot,” he said, running his hands down Kail’s spine before capturing him in his arms.
Kail’s body arched into the touch, and he turned to face Tion. “Water’s getting warmer,” he mumbled, returning Tion’s embrace.
“Um, guys?” Conway called, still blushing and looking everywhere but directly at the pair. “Should I leave you two alone?” He shifted uncomfortably, one boot still dangling from his hand. Conway set it aside and concentrated on untying the other one.
“Why?” Kail asked, framing Tion’s face between his hands and leaning in. “I don’t care if you watch. You might even learn something.”
“Kail, be nice.” Tion pulled his head back just before their lips met. “He’s human, remember?”
Kail snorted. “Morals. A waste of time, if you ask me.” He leaned in again, and Tion dodged.
“He’s also my friend.”
That brought Kail up short. “Your friend? He’s an—”
“Oaf,” Tion said. “Yeah, you keep saying that.”
“I can hear you, you know.” Conway spoke without looking up.
“There’s something about him, Kail.”
“Yeah. You also said he was cute, just before he almost stepped on us.”
“Uh-huh. And look how he made amends. We’d still be walking if it weren’t for his giving us a ride.”
Kail studied his partner’s face, still framed between his hands. He sighed and let go. “You always were hung u
p on size.”
Tion chuckled. “I know.” He bent and kissed Kail lightly. “That’s why the trout and I like you so much.”
Kail returned the kiss with one of his own, and a good deal more intently.
“One of the reasons, at least,” Tion added.
Locked into each other’s love and embrace, neither of the two sprites heard Conway rise and walk away.
“He can’t have gone far. His shoes are still here.” Kail nodded to the boots beside the base of the bridge.
“I know, but he’s been gone a long time.” Tion stretched and rolled onto his back. They had washed their clothes, spread them to dry over sunny rocks, and spread a blanket to make love. Conway was gone the entire time.
“What if he’s in trouble?”
Kail groaned. “Be reasonable, Tion. He’s ten times our size. What kind of trouble could he possibly get into?”
“That’s just it. I don’t know.”
“What is it with him, Tee? I’ve never seen you like this.” Kail moved to lay his head on Tion’s chest. “You aren’t turning him into a pet, are you?”
“I don’t know. Maybe,” Tion admitted, running his fingers through Kail’s sun-bleached golden curls. “He said he was cursed.”
Kail slapped Tion’s chest. “His only curse is that he was born human.” He kissed away the faint red mark his slap left on Tion’s burnished bronze skin. “They can't help being ignorant and clueless.”
“And I can't help thinking there is something in him worth looking after. You’d see that if you weren’t so damned stubborn.”
Kail stiffened for a moment and then relaxed. “I know,” he sighed. “But Tion, he’s an oaf.”
A shadow passed over the pair, and Tion shivered. “I can hear you, you know.” Conway sat down with his back to the pair. “Could you maybe cover up a little?”
“Do you have a problem with us loving each other?” Kail demanded irritably. “Because if you do….”
“No! No. It’s not that at all,” Conway assured them, peeking over his shoulder and squeezing his eyes shut hastily as Kail stood and planted his fists on his hips. “It’s just… you’re… I….”
White light exploded all around the sprites, leaving behind a shimmering cloud of gold sparkles as it faded. The sparkles disappeared just as quickly, and Tion shook his head to clear away the purple blotches swimming in his vision.
“What the hell was that?” Kail demanded. “Did you—” He broke off, speechless.
Conway was no longer the size of a mountain.
3
Tion stood, clutching Kail’s shoulder for support. “Conway?” His voice was shaking and strange.
Conway’s face fell as he turned to face the sprites. “Guys, I’m so sorry.”
“Conway,” Tion said. “What happened to you?”
“What do you mean you’re sorry?” Kail demanded. “What—”
“Kail, go get our clothes, will you?” Tion forestalled his partner’s consternation. He pushed against Kail’s objection and nodded toward the rocks. “Go,” Tion said, and turned to Conway. “What happened to you?”
Conway sat hunched into a ball. To Tion he looked diminished, reduced in some substantial way that had little to do with his obviously smaller dimensions. “Nothing,” Conway mumbled and hid his face in his hands.
Tion approached the now not-as-big human diffidently. Moments ago he might have been able to reach up to Conway’s knee only if he stretched, but with the man sitting hunched as he was, their eyes met evenly. “Conway, look at you. You’re—”
“Conway!” Kail roared, and Tion flinched at the depth of his outrage. “What the hell did you do?”
Tion turned to see Kail striding angrily toward him. His partner slammed a small bundle against his chest as he pushed past, advancing on Conway. “Speak up, Oaf!”
“I told you.” Conway’s muffled voice preceded the anguished look on his face as he raised his head, looking past Kail to implore Tion. “It’s the curse.”
Tion barely heard the man’s anguish, or Kail’s renewed haranguing. Instead, he stared in disbelief at the bundle of clothing Kail had thrust upon him. He dropped all but his pants and held them up against his waist. They were now barely wide enough to cover his crotch. Comprehension dawned as Kail’s exhortation overwhelmed Tion’s confusion.
“Kail, Kail! Stop!” Tion thumped his partner’s shoulder. “He didn’t shrink our clothes, you idiot. He grew us!”
Stunningly, Kail was speechless. He shut his open mouth, nearly catching his tongue unawares, and stalked back toward the river, pausing long enough to gather his useless clothing and throw a glare over his shoulder at the morose human.
Conway hunched, heedless as Kail’s glare bounced off his shoulders and scorched the grass behind him. He tried to meet Tion’s gaze with his head bent and his eyes downcast, but the angle was wrong. “I was afraid this would happen.”
Tion retreated and retrieved the blanket. He knotted the straining fabric around his hips, covering his modesty. “What happened, exactly?”
“I told you, it’s my curse. People around me have bad luck.” Conway nodded to Tion’s makeshift loincloth. “If you had been dressed, your clothes would have still fit.”
Tion sat down, stunned to a parody of his partner’s speechlessness. He could hear Kail talking to himself near the water’s edge, but the majority of his focus was on the human. “What about the fact that we grew at all? Wouldn’t you call that bad luck too?”
Conway shook his head, obviously surprised by the question. “No. That sort of thing happens all the time.”
“Happens all the—” Tion stopped in mid-sentence. “Conway, things like this don’t happen all the time.”
“They do to me. Like I said, I’m cursed.”
“Oh, stop with the fucking curse thing already!” Tion snapped. “This is magic, pure and simple.”
Conway nodded, still confused.
Tion stared at the man, disbelief warring with frustration across his face. Disbelief won the battle. “Conway, humans can’t do magic. Don’t you get that?”
“But…” the human objected. “What does that mean?”
“It means you’re not human, Oaf.” Kail approached them, and Tion bit back a laugh, despite the situation. His partner had dressed himself with what looked like several large leaves tied to a piece of rope knotted around his waist.
“Don’t even start,” Kail warned, raising his hand to ward off Tion’s reproach as he turned to Conway. “The first question might be what the hell are you, but a better question is how are you going to get us back to normal?” He looked down at his leaf briefs and back up at Conway. “I have no intention of traipsing around the woods dressed like a damned nymph, and I want to know how you plan to fix us.”
Conway struggled for words he clearly didn’t have and crumpled beneath the weight of Kail’s angry gaze.
“Be reasonable, Kail. He doesn’t even believe he did it, so how can he possibly know how to undo it?”
“You be reasonable, Tion. You got the damned blanket.”
“Since when did you start caring about whether you were naked in the first place?”
“When I starting having to literally pluck my clothes off a damn bush!”
“Guys, stop it.” Conway’s voice hung low to the ground, barely reaching up to the sprite’s knees. He lifted it higher and spoke again. “Guys! Please. Listen to me!”
“What?” Tion and Kail spoke in unison. Identical shades of exasperation colored their voices.
Conway’s voice fell again. “I know a way to fix you.”
“Speak up, Oaf. Your voice tickles,” Kail said, hopping from foot to foot.
“Is that true? Can you really get us back to normal?” Tion asked, ignoring Kail.
Conway shook his head. “Oh no, not me, but that’s why I’m traveling. I’m looking for someone who can break my curse, and he should be able to help you too.”
“Oh, really?” Kail
drew the last word with a mocking, disbelieving air, and Tion winced. He hastily erased it and spoke up.
“Who are you looking for, Conway?”
“A wizard.” The man’s eyes slid uneasily to the ground, and he resolutely corralled them.
“Which wizard?” Kail demanded suspiciously.
“Wylde.”
Tion felt his stomach sink, and he began to bail desperately.
Conway's Curse Page 2
