by Sophia Gray
“We’ve come to an understanding.” The owner adjusted his shirt and walked around me. “Everything is just fine. Just fine. Right?” He turned back to me.
I snorted. For being a drug dealer, he’d been easy enough to scare. I knew I could be menacing when I wanted to be, but this had almost been too easy. But a scared kid like Trenton wouldn’t have the guts or the drive or the intimidation necessary to stand up for himself. Fuck, if he had all that, he never would’ve had the drug stash stolen in the first place.
I stared down the owner. “We’re fine,” I barked. I jerked around, stared down his boys, and rushed out of there.
Trenton was just a punk kid. He didn’t know the rules of the game, and he was afraid he was going to get burned. Too bad he didn’t realize he was already on fire. He had to be desperate. Beyond desperate. I knew that even before I went to the bar, but now that I knew the full extent of his situation, I realized just how dangerous he could be. Whether or not he was using again himself, he was like a caged animal, and when caged animals were let loose, like he was, they tended to bite the hand that fed them.
Which meant Sage. And Victoria.
I wasn’t much of a praying man, but I sure as hell was praying now.
It was time to round up the boys. It was time to get my girl back. Hang in there, Victoria. It won’t be much longer now.
Chapter 18
Victoria
The desperation I felt was insurmountable. Trenton wasn’t taking any chances. When I pleaded with him that I had to go to the bathroom—I had a feeling I was dehydrated considering I had been here for a long while by this point and I hadn’t had to go until now—he untied me and walked me into the bathroom. He brought along Sage, too, and they talked about nothing in particular, staying in the tiny bathroom with me as I went. No privacy. No chance for anything but actually taking care of my business.
Ever since his phone call, Trenton had been on edge. He was terrified. He was back to being snippy with both Sage and me. He would apologize to her, which was more than I expected from him.
If he had spent more time around Grant, he might’ve been able to overcome his past and grow up and become a real man instead of this poser of one.
If he had learned to accept love and thought himself worthy of it, he might’ve realized Sage really had loved him instead of pushing her away at times because he thought he was incapable of being loved.
If he had actually gotten a real job instead of falling back into his destructive ways and returning to drugs, he might’ve been able to get a place and settle down with her, like he was still talking about wanting.
Honestly, it was almost tragic. He hated himself—that was plain to see. His sense of love and hate were too closely merged. That was why he treated Sage like a goddess at times—when I hadn’t been around to see it—and like a misogynist jerk at other times. If you couldn’t love yourself, you couldn’t love others, and what good was a life without love?
Yes, Sage had told me many times I needed to get laid. I’d brushed it off as a teen wanting her mom to back off and let her do what she wanted, but maybe she had a point. I was so wrapped up in her and the restaurant that I had stopped doing anything for myself. I used to be a runner, even ran a few races. I hadn’t run in a long time, though. Just stopped making the time for it. Outside of my roles as mom and restaurant owner, I didn’t know who I was.
And now that I was in danger, I was second-guessing myself on a lot of things. I told Grant I never went on a vacation, and that was the truth. Sad. How pathetic was that? And all because work was my life. I lived and breathed for it, outside of Sage.
Yes, she was nineteen, but look where her choices had led us. She needed me yet. I needed to be there for her, but I also needed to be there for myself. As it was, I was fretting over how the restaurant was going without me, especially now that I didn’t have my phone and couldn’t help with any complications that might arise in my absence. Maybe this could serve as a trial run, so when I got free—God willing when and not if—I could finally go on that vacation.
With Sage?
Or with Grant?
When Sage and Trenton were talking—like they were now—I tended to zone out. Honestly, there was no way for me to get free. Trenton had tied me even tighter after my trek to the bathroom. Without a phone and with him making it a point to never leave the hotel room, we were stuck here. Sage was doing all she could to try to keep Trenton calm, but she was on edge herself, and sometimes they fought.
But when they were just talking, I could let my mind wander, and as much as I worried about our situation and the restaurant, I often found my thoughts turning back to Grant. I knew him. I knew he would come. If the whole phone call when Trenton had me say his name really was a ransom call, I knew Grant wouldn’t bother to pay. He’d show up, and I had no way to warn him Trenton had a gun. If anything were to happen to Grant, I would be devastated.
In the short amount of time we had together, he had come to mean a lot to me, more than I would’ve thought possible. Maybe it was the fear of not having a tomorrow talking, but I desperately wanted a tomorrow with Grant. More than just a tomorrow. Maybe a whole lot more.
I’d always thought of love as something I would never have. I just never planned on making time for it. I hadn’t dated a lot in high school, and I never went to college. I’d always been goal oriented. When I set my sights on something—like the restaurant or adopting Sage—I did whatever it took to turn that goal into reality.
But now I was realizing what I had been missing out on. Love wasn’t a waste of time. It wasn’t something to be brushed aside or ignored. It could be empowering in its own right, lift you up instead of drag you down or hold you back.
I might be speaking from experience.
But along with the knowledge that I had fallen for Grant came fear, and, hell, could fear drag you down. If Grant came in here with his own gun, would Trenton shoot him? Trenton reeked of desperation. This whole situation proved that.
Sage was lying down, either sleeping or pretending to be. For the most part, she was trying to sweet talk Trenton, to convince him she loved him despite everything. Trenton, though, was paranoid and uptight and anxious, so at times he accepted her and others he lashed out, but that was mostly geared toward himself.
Oh, honey. Sage… I wish I could’ve saved you from this. I should’ve done more to convince you he wasn’t the guy for you. I let fear hold me back from being the mother I should’ve been. And I didn’t understand love. My dad had been a deadbeat, so I never saw a healthy, mature loving relationship growing up. I thought it was the stuff of fairytales, that it was overrated.
But I shouldn’t have thought less of you for wanting that, for craving more love than I could give you. I channeled my love into my work, but that isn’t for everyone, and maybe my being a workaholic isn’t healthy itself. I’ve always wanted to do what was best for you, and I’m sorry I failed you.
Rest easy, Sage. Don’t cry any more. We’ll find a way out of this.
Trenton cleared his throat softly. He had been lying on the bed beside Sage, flipping through a magazine, but now he sat up. “You hungry? Could order some pizza.”
Ugh. I was pizza-d out.
My face must’ve given my thought away because he snorted a quiet laugh. “I know this isn’t ideal,” he started.
“Not ideal?” I all but shrieked. I winced at my loud tone, but Sage didn’t stir. Come on. If Sage can try to reach him despite her fears, you can keep your cool and do your part. “That’s an understatement,” I added more quietly.
“Yeah, well…” He ran a hand through his hair. In that moment, he looked both younger than his age but also older, like time had been unduly harsh to him.
I thought I had pieced most of it together, but still, I had to ask, “Why are you doing this, Trenton?”
No matter what he said, no matter his reasoning, he was crazy. Sage deserved someone so much better than Trenton. He needed help. He needed a
shrink to work through his issues, and he needed jail to keep his sorry ass away from drugs. Maybe if he could completely cut ties to the drug life, he’d be able to start making a positive change in his life.
But I wasn’t going to hold my breath on that.
He sighed, ran a hand through his hair again, stood, and began to pace in the crammed motel room. “I was trying to make a name for myself. I was trying to earn money. Sage and I…We got into a fight. Sage either wanted us to move forward, or she was threatening to break up with me. And Sage…she’s the best thing that ever happened to me. My life…my dad…” Trenton halted, shoulders slumped.
I said nothing. I didn’t know if his knowing that Grant had filled me in on details about his tragic past would set him off again.
After a moment, he resumed his pacing and his story. “So I asked her to marry me. And she said maybe. Maybe! She wasn’t playin’ me. She wanted to make sure I could take care of her, provide for her. And I wanted to. I wanted to buy her a ring and a dress and a house and everything. Well, maybe an apartment at first, but I wanted—still want—to give her everything she wants.” He took a deep breath and exhaled it through his nose.
That idea of Sage getting engaged at her age made me wince, but the idea of marriage itself no longer filled me with disdain. Not that I wanted to rush things with Grant, of course, but maybe one day.
If one day comes.
I inhaled deeply and blew it out slowly. “That’s what every woman wants,” I said with a hint of sarcasm, “for a man to give her everything she wants.”
Instead of getting it for herself. Or instead of them getting what they both want together.
My sarcasm must’ve gone over Trenton’s head because he actually gave me a smile. He really was a handsome kid. It wasn’t hard to understand why Sage had gravitated to him from the start.
He walked over to me and sat in front of me. “I knew you wouldn’t be happy about it, about us moving forward, so that was another reason why I had to…Sage thinks the world of you, and I knew if I couldn’t get you on board with the idea of us getting married, Sage would hesitate to be with me.” Trenton rubbed his throat and stopped talking.
A few minutes passed. Wasn’t he going to go on?
“What happened next?”
“I went ring shopping. That it would make it more real to Sage, ya know? But the prices…I couldn’t even afford a speck of a diamond. And a place of our own and utilities and food…I needed a job, one that could pay a lot.” I held my silence, but Trenton didn’t pause for long this time. “I made a mistake,” he said bluntly. “I got into the game, and it played me.”
“What game?”
“One night after Sage brought me a bridal magazine and showed me a gown that cost two grand all excited about our future, I knew I had to go out and make it happen. But I had no idea how to. I had put out a ton of feelers for jobs, but they were all shitty positions with little pay. Dead end jobs with no way to advance or nothing.”
I pursed my lips. If you wanted something badly enough, you took the time and the dedication to make it work the right way. Good things came to those who wait, but also to those who worked their asses off.
Of course I didn’t say any of this to Trenton.
“After she left for the night, I went to the bar.”
Before I could help myself, I said, “Cowboy’s Lasso.”
He nodded, dropping his gaze to the floor. “Stayed late until I was the last one there. Just the bartender and me. I told him I needed money bad, and I thought his eyes were gonna pop out of his head. Guess he thought I couldn’t pay my tab. I slapped my last twenty onto the bar. Not a good idea, spending the last of my money on alcohol, but…”
I glanced over at Sage. She was breathing way too rhythmically and evenly for her to be faking sleep. I’d no idea she and Trenton had been contemplating marriage. We hadn’t been as close as I liked to think we had been. Maybe because you pushed her away, pushed her toward Trenton even though you wanted the opposite. How many times had she asked me to go to the movies with her? Or to go out shopping? And I had always been busy with the restaurant.
My stomach twisted into knots. “I could use a drink myself right now,” I muttered, more to myself than to him.
“Haven’t had a drop to drink since that night.” Trenton’s eyes were glazed. He was lost in remembering. His hands were tight fists in his lap. This wasn’t a happy memory for him.
“Wish you could go back?”
“I’d change things, yeah.” He blew air out of his nose. “But I can’t. I’m stuck.”
I opened my mouth to argue that point, but he didn’t give me the chance to.
“The bartender ignored my twenty, told me to wait, and went to the back. When he returned, he was with another man. The owner. Kyle Lawerson. He sat me down, bought me a beer, and we discussed terms of business.”
“What kind of business?” But I already knew. The drugs Grant had found in Trenton’s apartment told that story.
“Drugs. Selling them,” he said bluntly. “I kept my job a secret from Sage for a while, and things we starting to look up. I was making some money—although not as much as I wanted to yet because Lawerson started me out slow—and I did my best to save it, but now that I had money to spend…”
“You spent it.”
“Yeah. And Sage started to ask questions about my job, especially when it started to cut into some of our time together, and I didn’t want to keep secrets from her. She knew all my past.” He grimaced, and I could see the scars his past still cut into him.
“Your past?” I didn’t want to let on how much I already knew. Better to let him talk. Grant had to be on his way, right? We just needed to bide our time until he could come here and save us. I hated being the damsel in distress, but with me being tied up and Trenton still having that gun, the only way I could help myself was to keep him calm. He could be moody and irrational, but the fights lately had been kept to a minimum, and I desperately wanted to keep it that way.
Then again, the idea of taking away that gun was intriguing, even if it was dangerous. I couldn’t wait for him to turn back to his asshole side to try to steal it away, but for right this moment, we would keep on talking. Maybe once he told me everything, then I could feign going to the bathroom to get untied.
“My father was a piece of shit,” he said bluntly. “He did a bunch of drugs, all kinds. How he never ended up overdosing, I don’t know. He was fine when he was high and drugged up, but when he came crashing down, his fists came out, and his tongue was just as vicious. He was a fucking…He was a terrible man and worse father. He…He was even worse than her mom.” He gestured with his head toward the still sleeping Sage. “He preferred drugs and being high over being there for me and my mom. I didn’t understand why. I grew up scared and angry. So bitter all of the time. Eventually, though, it got to the point that I was curious. So I did a little experimenting on my own to see what the hype was all about. I didn’t become addicted like my father,” he was quick to add.
“Oh, no. Of course not,” I murmured, doing my best to sound sympathetic. And I was, to an extent. No one could deny he had a horrific childhood. Some people couldn’t get over their upbringing, but Trenton had made strides in that direction. Joining the motorcycle club could’ve and should’ve been all he needed. But he hadn’t turned toward them for help. And he had fallen back down into the rabbit hole.
“When my father found out…” Trenton shuddered, and he rubbed his arm as if it pained him. Had his father abused him? “He went through the roof. He was convinced I had stolen from his stash. I hadn’t, but I didn’t even bother trying to tell him that. He wouldn’t listen to me. Never had. Never would. That’s when…You don’t need to hear all of that.” He stared into the distance, his eyes glazed over, and I just knew he was lost in a sea of memories. The lines of worry and despair that forged along his features aged him. Life had been cruel to Trenton. Very tragic.
And I had a feeling it wou
ld end tragically, too.
Tragically for just him or for us, as well? Only time would tell.
“I just wanted to make a name for myself,” he muttered, and I got the feeling he was more talking to himself than to me. “I just wanted to earn some money. I wanted to give Sage the kind of life she deserved. She was the best thing that ever happened to me. Yeah, sure, we fight sometimes, but all couples do…and…I swear I would do anything for her. Sage…What with her mom and all…Her life had been just as shitty.” He straightened slightly and fixed me a cold, hard stare. There was hatred burning in his eyes, and I fidgeted in the chair as much as my bindings would allow. “Even after you came into her life.”
I swallowed hard. Did Sage feel that way, too? How had I made her life shitty? I tried to give her a good life!
“You were always so demanding,” he said, wearing a nasty scowl. “Making her keep your place clean.”
