‘For now, but in a couple of weeks…’
‘No swimming,’ Cole ordered, and Leah gave a small moan of protest, though her heart wasn’t in it. She could barely keep the smile off her face. Cole’s home was certainly more inviting than the youth hostel and as she wandered around Leah found herself wondering who had come up with the colour scheme. It was a brave person indeed who had painted the walls jade, but it actually worked. ‘Here’s the study.’ Stepping inside, Leah gazed at the book-lined walls. Books brought a certain comfort, a feeling of homeliness, and she wandered over to the shelves, staring for a moment or two at the endless rows that lined the shelves. ‘Help yourself if anything catches your eye.’
‘Everything catches my eye,’ Leah admitted. ‘You’ll be stuck with me for the next decade, I’m afraid. There’s loads of books here I can’t wait to read.’
‘Just as well.’ Cole smiled. ‘There’s not much else you can do. Still, there’s the computer so you can have a surf, fire off a few emails and tell everyone what’s happened. There’s not much food in, I’m afraid, I didn’t get time to do a shop.’ He gave a low laugh. ‘Actually, I never shop, I live on take-aways, but I’ll hit the supermarket at the weekend. Still, I got some bread, milk and cheese from the milk bar and we can ring out for something when I get home.’
‘You’re going back to work?’
Cole nodded. ‘I just slipped out for an hour; I thought it might be easier for you to settle in without me here.’
‘Look, about rent,’ Leah started. ‘I can’t afford much, but—’
‘Leah.’ Cole shook his head. ‘Please, don’t embarrass me. You don’t have to pay to stay here.’
‘Well, at least let me give you what I would have paid at the youth hostel.’
But Cole wouldn’t hear of it. ‘I don’t want any money. And while we’re on embarrassing subjects, please, Leah, I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable, I want you to treat the place as home. I’m barely here so it’s not as if we’re going to see much of each other.’
She almost said ‘Pity’ but, given the ‘just friends’ lecture he had delivered in the car park, thought better of it.
‘I’ll be back around nine. Now, you’ll be OK?’
‘I’ll be fine.’
‘The hospital number and my pager number are by the phone.’ He glanced at his watch. ‘I really do have to go.’
‘Then go.’ Leah smiled. ‘And, Cole, thanks for this, I really mean it.’
As he turned to go she called him back. ‘I’ll need your password.’
‘Password?’
‘For the computer. I was going to email Mum.’
‘Oh.’ He cleared his throat and Leah could have sworn he nearly blushed. ‘It’s “tiger.”’
‘Thanks.’
‘I’ll see you, then,’ Cole said, beating a hasty retreat as Leah hobbled down the corridor, just making it to the front door as he stepped into his car.
‘See you tonight.’ Leah grinned. ‘Tiger!’
CHAPTER FIVE
‘WHAT’S the smell?’ Sniffing the air, Cole put down his briefcase, a curious smile on his face.
‘Dinner,’ Leah answered. ‘What are you smiling at?’
‘It just seems strange.’ He gave a small shrug. ‘Coming home with the lights on and the television blaring.’
‘Nice strange?’ Leah checked, and Cole gave a small nod.
‘Nice strange,’ he admitted, but then his voice changed, the authoritarian note creeping back. ‘How on earth did you make dinner? There isn’t a single tin of anything in the cupboards. You weren’t stupid enough to go shopping, I hope?’
‘Only on the internet. And before you tell me off, the delivery man brought all the boxes through to the kitchen, I only had to put things away.’
‘But you’re supposed to be resting,’ Cole protested—and quite strongly too, opening the cupboards and shaking his head. ‘I didn’t bring you here to have you act like an unpaid housekeeper. I don’t expect you to buy my groceries, for heaven’s sake.’
‘They’re my groceries,’ Leah answered tartly, not remotely fazed by his annoyance. ‘But because you’re being so nice to me, I’ll let you share. I’d have had to do the same thing at the youth hostel,’ she carried on, refusing to let him get a word in. ‘Well, actually, I’d have had to go shopping, because there isn’t a computer for the inmates, then I’d have had to lug the whole lot home and write my name on everything before placing it in the fridge, and then no doubt some hairy creature would have got up in the middle of the night with the munchies and eaten the lot and I’d have been back where I started. So, you see, it’s really no trouble, no trouble at all. In fact, it’s a pleasure.’
‘So what is it?’ Cole asked, only slightly mollified.
‘What’s what?’
‘For dinner?’
Opening the cooker, Leah peered inside. ‘Leah’s chicken surprise with jacket potatoes.’ Turning, she gave a smile at his bemused expression. ‘But you’ll have to lift the casserole dish out for me.’
They ate on the sofa, their plates precariously balanced on their knees, watching the latest reality TV show, which had Leah enthralled and Cole bored to tears.
‘They know the cameras are there,’ he pointed out. ‘As if they’re going to do something stupid when the whole wide world can see.’
‘But the cameras are hidden,’ Leah answered, her eyes avidly pinned to the screen. ‘After a couple of days they forget all about them. I tell you, boyfriend or not, those two are going to end up sleeping together. I’m an expert on relationships.’ She gave a low laugh. ‘At least I am on other people’s. When it comes to me I always get it wrong.’
‘So I take it from that there’s no one waiting for you back home?’ She was aware of his head turning towards her and suddenly the screen seemed to blur into the background, the intensity of his gaze scorching her cheek, and she knew, just knew, that as casual as his question had sounded, the answer really mattered.
‘My family, of course.’ Turning, she gave him a mischievous smile, daring him with her eyes to push further.
‘And?’
‘And my friends, of which there are quite a few.’
‘I’m sure there are.’ She watched his Adam’s apple bob in his throat and resisted the urge to put him out of his misery, determined for once in her life to play it cool, to be absolutely certain Cole wasn’t merely making small talk. ‘Anyone else?’
‘Well, there’s Ben,’ Leah said lightly. ‘Apparently he’s missed me a lot.’
‘Ben?’
Leah nodded. ‘But he’s very forgiving. I’m sure things will be fine when I get home.’
‘Have you been together long?’
‘Four years.’ Leah chewed on her lip. ‘Actually, it’s coming up for five soon.’
‘Do you live together?’
‘Heavens, no.’ Leah shook her head. ‘My flat’s not big enough.’
‘But it’s serious between the two of you?’ Cole checked, and something in his eyes told Leah she wasn’t the only one losing her cool here, that the signs were so blazingly clear a blind man couldn’t have misinterpreted them.
‘Of course it’s serious.’ A tiny smirk curled the corner of her mouth. ‘One should never get a pet without giving it a lot of thought, everyone knows that. Ben’s mine but he stays at my parents’ house, they’ve got a decent-sized back garden.’
‘Ben’s a dog?’
Leah nodded, watching as he darted his eyes back to the screen and changed the subject with a small embarrassed cough.
‘We won’t have to watch it, I hope? When those two finally get it on, I mean,’ Cole said gruffly, taking a slug of Coke.
‘Of course we’ll watch it, but don’t worry.’ Leah grinned. ‘If it happens while you’re at work, I’ll tape it for you.’
‘I can hardly wait.’
Cole cleared the dishes, shooing Leah away when she tried to help. ‘It’s your first night out of hospital, for
goodness’ sake, sit down and relax. Surely you’re tired?’
‘Not really,’ Leah admitted. ‘I’ve done nothing but sleep for four days. I even had a doze on the sofa this afternoon.’
‘Good!’ Cole said. ‘You need to rest. I’ve made up the bed in the spare room—I hope it’s comfortable enough.’
‘Anything will be comfortable after sleeping on a rubber mattress in the hospital with the whole ward snoring, and I can guarantee it will be better than the youth hostel.’
Loading the dishwasher, he stopped midway and looked at her for a moment or two before speaking. ‘Would you be offended if I say that you don’t look much like a backpacker?’
‘Mortally,’ Leah said, grinning. ‘Actually, I never felt like a backpacker. I like my home comforts too much. I kept wanting to put photos up in the dormitories and things. The people at the hostel sort of fell into three groups, those out for a wild party—’
‘Don’t you like parties?’ Cole asked.
‘On the contrary, I love a good party, it’s just my version tends to differ from theirs. I like standing around in a strappy dress sipping wine and talking, whereas…’ She levered herself up from the sofa and performed an impromptu wild sort of motion, flinging her arms in the air and rolling her eyes back in her head, and even though it hurt like hell, the pain was worth it for the smile it raised from Cole. ‘I think my clubbing days are long since over.’
‘What were the others like?’ Cole asked, forgetting to put the dishwashing tablet in as he closed the door and programmed the machine.
‘Oh, the hearty type. Up at the crack of dawn and setting off in serious walking boots, poring over maps at the dinner table, in bed by eight, you know the sort. I didn’t fit in with them either. Apart from my runner’s shorts and bathers, my backpack contained a cocktail dress and stilettos…’ She was gabbling now. Cole had finished with the dishwasher and was walking towards her, and suddenly there was no dinner to serve up, no table to lay, no dishes to be done, not a single diversion to be had. And Leah really needed one. There was something in his eyes she couldn’t read, a certain hesitancy in his movements, and Leah frantically dragged her mind away from how divine he looked, how effortlessly sexy he really was, and rattled on, the slightly breathy note to her voice for once having nothing to do with her bruised rib cage. ‘Not that I got to wear them—the stilettos, I mean—hence the big fall on Saturday night. The soles of my feet have been horizontal for the past twelve months and squeezing into those strappy little numbers gave them quite a fright.’
He’d crossed the room now and was standing not a foot away. Leah swallowed hard as he looked down at her. ‘And the others?’
‘The others?’
‘You said there were three types.’
‘Oh, yes. The misfits.’ He didn’t smile but it was there in his eyes. Beautiful eyes, Leah thought as her mouth carried on moving as she attempted to answer his questions. ‘I was in the misfit group and there were quite a few of us, rattling around on the Greyhound bus with no real idea why we were here in the first place. We sort of stuck together.’
‘Why did you come?’ Cole asked, his eyes narrowing slightly as he stared at her thoughtfully, noticing the tiny nervous swallow she gave as he voiced his question.
‘Well, Kathy was here.’ Leah shrugged vaguely, not liking the direction the conversation was taking all of a sudden, not sure she was quite ready to open up to Cole. ‘And work was getting a bit…’ Her voice trailed off as she waited hopefully for Cole to break in, to give a knowing nod and a groan, but instead he waited for her to finish, staring back patiently as her eyes darted over his shoulder and around the room, anywhere other than at him. ‘I just needed a break,’ Leah said eventually, her eyes finally managing to meet his, but still he didn’t move, just gazed down at her, and she knew she hadn’t answered his question properly, knew Cole was waiting for her to elaborate.
‘I’ll tell you what you need,’ Cole said finally, when it was clear Leah wasn’t going to add to her response, a slow lazy smile spreading over his lips. Leah found herself clenching her fists to her sides, resisting a sudden urge to reach out and touch him.
‘What?’ Leah croaked, the single word strangling in her throat. Any minute now, she thought frantically, any minute now I’m going to kiss him. I’m going to move forward and do something really stupid…
‘Bed.’
She nodded lamely. She’d been thinking exactly the same thing but not quite along the same lines.
‘Do you want me to carry you?’
‘I’ll manage,’ Leah said firmly, heading for the stairs as Cole picked up her backpack. ‘Dr Crean said—’
‘I know, I know, gentle exercise is good.’
He hovered with infinite patience as she slowly took the stairs. ‘It’s all very well for Dr Crean,’ Leah grumbled as they came to the bend at the top and she stood for a moment, catching her breath, as Cole went on ahead, flicking on lights and opening the bathroom door.
‘You’re in here.’ His hand moved to the handle of the door of the spare bedroom but he changed his mind, depositing her backpack at the door. Despite the blazing lights, it was as if they’d been plunged into darkness. The closeness, the gentle teasing had gone as quickly as if a light had been switched off and Cole reverted to the rather austere man she had met on the plane. ‘I’ll say goodnight, then.’
‘Goodnight,’ Leah called to his rapidly departing back, frowning at the sudden change in him. But as she opened the bedroom door, as she gingerly bent down and picked up her backpack and stepped inside she understood in an instant the sudden dive in atmosphere. Her eyes filling with tears, she stared around the room, a trembling hand shooting up to her lips as she took in the lemon walls, the stripy curtains, the teddy-filled border that lovingly lined the walls and, worst of all, the horrible gap in the corner where a cot should have been.
It wasn’t just a spare room, an unused corner of the house, it was a nursery, a lovingly, beautifully decorated, painfully empty nursery. ‘Oh, Cole.’ Sinking onto the bed, she ached, literally ached to go to him. Her fingers toyed with the duvet cover on the hastily made bed and she knew it must have hurt like hell for him to come in here. It was like reading someone’s diary and finding all the answers. Or, worse than that, Leah thought frantically as she undressed and pulled on her pyjamas, it was like being caught reading someone’s diary and knowing they knew that you knew.
It couldn’t go unacknowledged.
She simply couldn’t just lie down as if she didn’t care.
Taking as deep a breath as one could with a fractured rib, she walked out of her bedroom, padding along the hallway in bare feet and hesitating for a moment before knocking softly on his bedroom door.
‘Cole.’
He didn’t answer and neither did she expect him to. Pushing the door open, she stood for a moment, watching as he lay unmoving on the vast bed that was way too big for one, just staring at the ceiling. Never had anyone looked lonelier.
‘I’m sorry.’ Still he didn’t look at her, just stared at the ceiling as he spoke. ‘I should have said something earlier, I just didn’t know how to. I took down all the mobiles and things last night and put away the soft toys but I couldn’t get the border off. I didn’t mean it to upset you.’
‘It didn’t,’ Leah started, then changed her mind. ‘Well, it did, but not for me. I’m upset for you.’ Crossing the room, she sat on the edge of the bed, her eyes brimming with tears. She played with her fingers for a moment, concentrating on keeping the tremor out of her voice, knowing this was Cole’s agony, not hers. ‘Did your baby die in the accident as well?’ Hearing his sharp intake of breath, Leah cringed for a moment. ‘I’m sorry, I wasn’t being nosy, it’s just that Kathy said there had been an accident but she just never said you had a baby as well.’
‘We didn’t.’ Frowning, she looked up, wincing at the pain etched on his face as he spoke. ‘At least, not according to the death certificate. Heather was four mo
nths pregnant,’ he explained. ‘Apparently, that doesn’t count.’
‘Oh, but it does,’ Leah breathed, watching as Cole stared fixedly at the ceiling.
‘What happened?’ she ventured tentatively, longing for some insight, to try somehow to help. ‘Kathy said something about boating…’ Her voice trailed off as he shook his head.
‘Leave it, Leah,’ he said in a low voice, which was so loaded with pain she felt the splash of a tear from her brimming eyes trickle down her cheek.
‘Don’t you want to talk about it?’
He shook his head and Leah didn’t push. She, more than most, knew about keeping things in.
‘I’m here if you change your mind.’ Standing up, she hesitated for an instant. It seemed wrong, so wrong to just walk away, but she heeded the warning note in his voice, knowing it wasn’t her place to push. Reluctantly she crossed the bedroom, wishing she had somehow handled things differently, wishing she could somehow have treated Cole as skilfully as she treated grieving relatives at work. But this wasn’t a stranger in an interview room, this wasn’t someone she’d probably never see again, this was the man she loved.
Loved.
The realisation stilled her, her hand clutching convulsively on the doorhandle as the sensible part of her mind demanded a retraction. She barely knew him, had never even kissed him, so how on earth could she think that she loved him?
‘Don’t go.’ His voice was so low, so loaded with pain it was barely audible, but it reached deep within, more an extension of her own thoughts than an audible request. As if her own internal revelation had somehow triggered in him this response. With a tiny nod of understanding she crossed back to the bed, did what she would have done to any friend in pain, treated Cole the way she would have Kathy or Kara, and leant over to give him a hug.
But he wasn’t just a friend.
As her arms tentatively embraced him, the innocence in her gesture was lost as she felt the rough scratch of his chin against her cheek, breathed in the heady scent of him, and just as she knew she should pull away, should pat his shoulder and walk off, his arm reached out and pulled her in, burying his face in her hair and breathing her in as if she was the life force he needed to go. She held him then not as a friend but as a woman.
The Consultant's Accidental Bride Page 6
