by Jenni Wilder
“Can’t you just tell him I don’t want to see him?” I begged.
“Jillian, he doesn’t seem like the kind of guy that takes ‘no’ for an answer without a good reason behind it, right?”
I thought of the times I had tried to say no to him last night and had to agree with Rebecca. “So what should I do, Becca?”
“How about this? He said he wanted to talk to you. Aren’t you the least bit curious what he has to say? What could be so important that he went through such great lengths to get your name and address?”
I let out a frustrated groan. “I told you. It’s probably about my stupid coat.”
Rebecca answered back with her own frustrated sigh. “And I told you that was probably just an excuse! Oh my God, we’re talking in circles here. Jillian, it’s not going to hurt anything to at least listen to what he has to say. If you’re so sure you are right about what he wants to talk to you about, then listen to him and let him buy you a damn coat. He’ll be happy, and you’ll never have to see him again. How about that?”
I stared down and wringed my hands with worry. “And what if you’re right, Becca?” I asked softly.
Rebecca moved to hug me. “Jilly Bean. If I’m right, you’ll just take it one step at a time then, okay? And maybe enjoy the fact you have a rich, handsome, professional hockey player chasing after you? Besides, you can’t hold your past against him. At least give him a chance.”
I let out the breath I was holding and returned my sister’s hug. “What would I do without you, Bec?”
“You’ll never have to know, Jilly Bean. I love you.”
“I love you too,” I answered and squeezed her tight.
Rebecca left me alone in my bedroom to quickly get dressed before Lincoln came back. I threw on jeans and a sweatshirt, put my contacts in, and brushed my brownish-blond hair out before redoing my messy ponytail. I wished I had time for a shower. I thought I looked nice last night, but this morning was a different story. However, I didn’t want to give my sister any time to talk to Lincoln alone. I didn’t look my best, but at least it was better than how I looked when Lincoln first saw me this morning. And I told myself it didn’t matter anyway. I was just going to talk to the man and potentially go shopping for a new coat with him.
I was helping clean up the kitchen with Rebecca when the doorbell rang. We both lunged for it, but I beat her to it, thankfully. I opened the door, and there he was. He was wearing a dark blue puffer coat that hugged his body and jeans that fit him beautifully. He stood in the doorway holding a carrier with four drinks from the coffee shop around the corner. His face was etched in anxiety, but he quickly replaced that with a bright smile when he saw I had answered the door dressed in something other than pajamas.
“Hello” he said cautiously, as his eyes swept over me.
“Hi.” I answered back, hating my lame reply.
“Is it okay if I come back in? I brought coffee for you and your sister and a hot chocolate for Tabitha.” He held up the drink carrier. “I hope that’s all right. I promise not to spill it on you.” He laughed nervously and I wanted to roll my eyes. Would he never let me forget that embarrassing moment?
“Jillian! Let the man in!” Rebecca demanded from the kitchen. I swung the door open farther, and Lincoln stepped inside. I took the drink carrier from him and started toward the kitchen.
“Tabby Cat! Lincoln brought you a treat!” I called to my niece who was playing on the computer in the living room. I heard the thump of Tabitha’s feet hit the floor and the quick pitter-patter of her bare feet as she raced into the kitchen.
“What is it?! What is it?!” Tabitha squealed as she ran up and made a quick stop next to me. I pulled out the small cup.
“It’s hot chocolate from the coffeehouse.” Tabitha’s eyes lit up and she clapped her hands together. “Sit down on the stool and I’ll set it here. It’s very hot, so be careful.”
Tabitha started jumping up and down and made a move to grab the cup. “Uh-uh!” I stopped her. “It’s really hot. And you have to thank Lincoln first.”
Tabitha stopped jumping and ran toward Lincoln, wrapping her arms around his legs. “Thank you, Mr. Lincoln!” Tabitha said with her face pressed into Lincoln’s side.
“Whoa,” Lincoln said as Tabitha knocked him back slightly with the force of her hug. “Uh, you’re welcome, squirt,” he replied with a smile and patted her on the head. Tabitha released him, took a sip of the drink, and ran back to the living room.
“Sorry about her. She was at a sleepover last night and is kind of running on lack of sleep and a sugar high right now,” I said with a laugh.
“That’s okay. I was just hoping to get the same reaction from you over the coffee.” He smiled suggestively at me. I looked away awkwardly and I felt my face blush. I was not sure what to respond to that. I heard Rebecca sputter into her coffee and then start coughing. Lincoln smile grew even bigger.
“Um, yeah. Thank you for the coffee,” I said, although I was not going to hug him like Tabitha did.
“Yeah, thanks Lincoln!” Rebecca said, and I looked over at her. She was standing on the opposite side of the kitchen island, looking back and forth between Lincoln and me with a shit-eating grin on her face. Crossing my arms over my chest, I bugged my eyes out at her in an attempt to get her to take the hint to leave.
“Oh! Right! I’ll just go see what Tabby is looking at on the computer,” Rebecca said and walked out of the room with her drink, leaving Lincoln and me alone in the kitchen.
“Your sister seems nice,” Lincoln said, breaking the silence in an attempt to encourage conversation.
“She is.” I looked up at Lincoln and into his eyes. I made a decision right then and there. I would follow my sister’s advice. I would let down the metaphoric walls I put up to block him out, at least temporarily. I was curious as to why he was here, and I knew I would have to engage in conversation with him. Rebecca was right; he hadn’t done anything wrong, and I couldn’t treat him as if he had. “She lets me live here for cheap, and I help out with Tabitha. It works well for both of us,” I said, realizing this was the first personal detail I had shared with him.
Lincoln smiled and nodded in return, and I could see the tension in his body ease. “Tabitha seems like a great kid.” Lincoln offered in what I thought was an attempt to keep me talking.
I nodded and took a sip of coffee. “She really is. I hate to brag, but she’s honestly like the perfect kid. But I guess everyone says that about their nieces and nephews,” I said and blushed again, feeling stupid.
Lincoln took a small step forward and shook his head. “No. You have a way of bringing out the best in everyone, not just your niece. I saw it last night.”
I scoffed. We hadn’t even been together last night for more than an hour and a half and most of that was spent watching the parade. “Lincoln…,” I started to say.
“Can we talk?” Lincoln asked bluntly, interrupting my objection.
“I thought that’s what we were doing,” I said with a small smile.
“Right,” Lincoln said with a chuckle. He ran his hand over the back of his neck. “Can we go for a walk?” he asked hopefully. “It’s not as cold out today. Oh wait. Do you have a coat that’s not covered in chocolate?”
I rolled my eyes. “Yes, I have a coat. Just give me a second.” I set down my coffee and walked down the hall out of Lincoln’s sight. I opened the closet where we kept our coats and outdoor apparel and reached for my everyday coat. It was nowhere near as fancy or cute as my white coat from last night, but since Lincoln was dressed casual today, I figured it would work.
“No, not that one,” Rebecca whispered from behind me. “Wear this one,” she said as she handed me a coat. It was her red and white super adorable flannel coat that she never let me borrow. Still casual but much better than my everyday coat. I sighed and took the coat from my sister.
“You must really want this to work out,” I said cynically.
“Just don’t let him sp
ill anything on it,” Rebecca said as she helped me put it on.
Lincoln smiled brightly at me as I appeared in the entryway where he was waiting. I grabbed my purse and double-check that I had my cell phone, keys, and money before shouting a good-bye to my sister and niece. I walked out the front door and turned to make sure Lincoln was following and my breath caught. Lincoln had put on a knit hat and sunglasses and it made him look even more attractive. My mouth watered at the sight of him, and I wanted to run my fingers through the slight beard scruff on his face and press my lips against his and kiss him deeply. I couldn’t get over how hot he looked in that moment. He came up next to me and looked down at me. I could see my reflection in his sunglasses, and I knew I was just standing there gawking at him, but I couldn’t make myself move.
“Ready to go?” Lincoln asked, furrowing his brow in concern. I figured he was probably wondering why I was just standing there staring at him.
“Mmhmm.” I nodded. It was about all I could do. Lincoln let out a small chuckle and took my arm to urge me forward.
“Is there somewhere to walk around here? A park or something?” Lincoln asked.
“Um…yeah. There’s a city park with a good walking trail on the other side of Modesto Street. It goes around a small pond. They usually clean the snow off the trail,” I said.
“I’m familiar with it,” Lincoln said, surprising me. “Maybe we should drive there though. That’s not actually that close,” Lincoln said, leading me to his black FJ Cruiser. The park wasn’t that far away but it was still January, and while it was warmer than usual, it’s not like it was really pleasant out.
“Oh, if you don’t want to go there, we could just walk around the block, maybe?” I offered as I got into his vehicle. It had seemed like he was reluctant to go to the park, and I wanted to offer an alternative.
“I’m fine with the park. That’s one of my favorite parks, honestly. I just don’t want you to get too cold.” Lincoln closed my door, and I buckled myself in. I stared at him as he walked around the vehicle and got in his side. His consideration and kindness confused me. I looked back at the house and saw Rebecca watching us out the window. She noticed my attention and gave me a smile and thumbs-up. And with that simple motion, all my confidence evaporated. It was too much to wish that a man as handsome as Lincoln would notice me, much less want to spend time with me. Lincoln seemed not to realize it or care, but I knew we were not in the same league. We would go coat shopping, and that would be it. I had to put my foot down before I got hurt again.
Lincoln climbed in his side of the vehicle and smiled at me as he put his seat belt on. “Ready?” he asked, and all I could do was nod in reply. I watched Rebecca in the window as Lincoln pulled away from the curb, and I took a deep breath and sighed. To say I was nervous to be alone with him was an understatement.
We rode the short distance to the park in silence. I played nervously with my seat belt and could not look over at Lincoln although I felt his eyes occasionally watching me. Lincoln pulled into the parking lot next to the walking trail. The trail was only a mile or so long and made a loop around a small pond where kids liked to play pond hockey during the winter. I smiled as I saw today was particularly busy on the pond. I watched boys and girls of various ages chase a puck around a makeshift rink, hollering and cheering one another on.
My door opened, surprising me. Lincoln stood holding his hand out for me. “Oh, sorry,” I said, scrambling to take my seat belt off.
“It’s fine,” Lincoln said with a smile and helped me out of my seat. He closed the car door behind me, and we stood next to the vehicle and watched the kids.
“I bet those kids would go crazy if they knew you were watching them play.” I smiled warmly at the thought.
Lincoln chuckled. “Probably. But I rather walk with you than sign autographs.”
“Oh. Um. Okay.” I stuttered, and we began walking. I still didn’t know why he wanted to walk with me.
We walked for a while in silence. He had said he wanted to talk to me, but I wasn’t sure if he was composing his thoughts or simply enjoying the quiet moment like I was. I wondered if I should break the silence. I thought back to those kids playing hockey and blurted out, “How long have you played hockey?”
He smiled. “For as long as I can remember,” he said easily. “My mom likes to say I was skating before I was walking. I’m not even sure how they found skates that small.” He chuckled. “I played the youth leagues when I was those kids’ age. I actually played on this pond a lot. My parents encouraged my hockey obsession until I got to high school. Then they told me I either had to quit or I had to be phenomenal. And there was no way I was going to quit. So I worked my ass off keeping my grades up while playing every spare minute I could.” He paused.
“Then you went pro?” I asked, prompting him to keep talking.
“No, I played in college. I didn’t sign with the Blackhawks until I graduated,” Lincoln replied.
“And you’ve always played for them?” The second the question was out of my mouth, I felt stupid. I should probably know that. I was sure there were fans out there that knew every last detail of his career, but I never really followed any sport that close. I enjoyed watching the occasional game no matter what sport it was, but I never got that into it.
“Yeah. I wanted to stay in Chicago and was fortunate enough to be given that opportunity. Not all guys get that choice,” Lincoln answered. Then he turned to me and asked, “Have you ever been to a game?”
I thought for a moment. “My older brother got tickets to a game. Um... not last year but the year before, I think. You played Toronto.”
“Did we win?” Lincoln asked.
“Yeah. It was a good game”
“Did I play?”
“Yeah,” I said and blushed. Lincoln raised his eyebrows, questioning my reaction. “I remember hearing your name being announced and thinking how crazy your life must be. Being a professional hockey player and the son of a senator. That must be chaotic.”
Lincoln didn’t say anything in reply, and we walked for a little longer in silence. I began worrying I had said something stupid again. Maybe the comment about being the son of a senator was a touchy subject for him. He hadn’t really talked about that.
I decided to jump-start the conversation. “So you said you wanted to talk to me about something?” I asked, breaking the silence.
Lincoln gave a small smile and stopped walking. We had reached a small bridge that spanned over a frozen stream which fed the pond. Lincoln leaned against the railing of the bridge and looked out at the hockey kids playing in the distance but didn’t say anything. I leaned against the bridge rail next to him and waited. I assumed he wanted to talk about my coat, but yet he wasn’t saying anything. I was practicing in my head how I was going to decline his offer once again to buy me a new coat when he finally broke the silence.
“It’s so beautiful here,” Lincoln said, looking out at the pond and the trail with the tall prairie grass poking out from the snow bank.
I smiled. “Yeah, it is. This is my favorite park. But it’s especially gorgeous in the fall when those trees turn colors,” I said, pointing to a small grove of trees that were bare now on the opposite bank.
“That would be nice,” Lincoln said quietly. I waited for him to continue, but he didn’t. I thought maybe he was trying to think of a way to bring up the subject of my coat, but when he didn’t, I figured I'd take matters into my own hands.
“If you’re—” I said at the same time Lincoln spoke.
“How many—” Lincoln stopped talking once he realized we had interrupted each other.
“Go ahead,” I offered.
“Oh, no. You go first,” Lincoln objected.
“No, no, really. You go,” I insisted. Lincoln stared at me momentarily.
“How many siblings do you have?” he finally asked.
Not what I thought he was going to say, but I went with it figuring some small talk wouldn’t hurt anything.
“Four siblings. Frankie is the oldest. He’s an accountant for some company in Boston. He moved away when I was still in high school. Then Rebecca. She’s a nurse at Chicago General Clinic. Then it’s me, and then the twins, Elliot and Emily. Elliot is a police officer, and Emily is a teacher.” I rattled off.
“Middle child, eh?” Lincoln said, and I nodded. “Me too.” He gave me a small smile. “And you work at GenChem?”
“Mm… I’m interning right now. I’m working on my thesis research project.”
“You’re still in school?” Lincoln asked surprised.
I nodded. “I’m getting my Master’s in Cellular and Molecular Biology. If my internship goes well, I’ll graduate in May.”
“Wow. That’s impressive. What are your plans for after graduation?”
“Um… I’m not sure. GenChem could keep me on. My research project has some elements that might interest them enough to keep me there after I graduate. If my research pans out, anyway.”
“What are you researching?” he asked.
“Basically, I’m researching skin cell growth. I’m doing growth studies and testing the lifespan of artificially produced skin. Ideally my research would be used in the medial field for patients with prosthetic limbs,” I paused and added quietly, “Or burn victims.”
“That’s really remarkable. Someday you could give someone a new arm or leg,” Lincoln stated.
I laughed slightly. “Well, that’s being ambitious. The most my research would ever be able to help with is to cover a prosthetic with artificial skin. Someday, hopefully, you’d never know that person had a fake limb.”
“Well, if you could do that, it could just be a start. You could develop nerve and muscle cells essentially giving them a new arm. Think of the impact that would have on our wounded veterans alone.” Lincoln sounded in awe of my research.
“Well, like I said, that’s being ambitious. Right now I’m just focusing on getting my little cells to grow.”
Lincoln nodded. “I’m highly impressed, Jillian.”
