The cancelling thing sounded way too familiar and I held back the urge to scrunch my eyes shut. “He wasn’t upset when you broke up with him?”
“Not for long. Honestly, we were already both checked out of the relationship before the actual breakup. Besides, we were so predictable. Football player and cheerleader? It was nice to meet more people outside this social circle.” Cassie rotated her leg in front of her and behind her, grabbing her foot with both hands and arching back until it touched the back of her head. When she was upright and able to talk again, she added, “Like you. I always envied that group you always hang out with and how easy you and Leia make your relationship work.” I cringed at that, but she didn’t notice and barreled on. “That’s what it’s like with Christian. Easy. There’s no drama or fighting with him, and he makes me feel so smart, like I deserve to date someone as smart as he is.”
I forgot my own problems for a minute to grab Cassie’s shoulders. The den mother in me wanted to shake some sense into her, but instead I said, calmly, “You are smart and you deserve to date anyone you want, do you understand? Christian is really lucky to have you as his girlfriend.”
“Thanks,” she said, blushing a little bit. “He said the same thing, actually.”
“Good, then we’re all on the same page. You’re awesome and don’t ever demean yourself, okay?” I stared at her intently until she nodded.
“Hey, it would be really hot if you two kissed right now. We all know Grace would like it,” one of the boys’ soccer players called out on his way to the field and I resisted the urge to go over and knee him in the groin.
I didn’t move my hands from Cassie’s shoulders, just eyed him up and down with a ‘you’re so beneath getting an answer from me’ glare. “Shove it, Nick. At least girls want to kiss me.”
Cassie giggled and added, “Yeah. When was the last time anyone wanted your Neanderthal ass?” When he just gave us the finger and turned away to start his warmups, she actually collapsed into a real giggle fit. “What an idiot,” she said between giggles and breaths. “You know he had a massive crush on you last year until someone clued him in about Leia, right?”
I snorted, looking over at Nick and snorting again. “Nice way to bounce back from disappointment, like a deflated soccer ball.”
“By the way, with what’s going on with you and Leia…”
I blinked at Cassie for a second in surprise. She was nice but tended to be a little bit self-focused sometimes. I hadn’t expected her to pick up on what was going on. “Yes?”
Coach clapped her hands. “Line up, everyone,” she called out, waving us over to opposite side of the field, where there were no bleachers. “Warmups.”
“Word gets around, especially when your friends try to fish for info and want to know if you told me more than them,” she said with a wink as we both hurried over to get into our neat line to start jumping jacks.
I knew exactly which friend she was talking about. “Em.”
She nodded, then kept her voice pitched low, keeping her eyes on Coach. “Yup, Em. Remember what you told me after I broke up with Mike the first time?”
I tried, and failed, to remember what she’d said. “I told you a lot of things.”
Cassie broke the rules for a second to look over at me, her expression both serious and understanding. “You said I need to remember that the best part about being human is that, no matter how hard we fall—in love or out of it—eventually, we bounce and bounce until we find our balance. We don’t break, even if it feels like we do. That helped a lot, back then and when I broke up with Mike again.”
We bounce. Aunt Drina had taught me that after I came to her crying because I kissed Leia during my sweet sixteen party and I wasn’t sure if Leia really wanted to date me or was just trying not to upset the birthday girl. The words rang so true even as Cassie repeated them back to me. We bounce.
Chapter 28
A twirl of my straw made the ice cubes swirl in my green tea latte like a little funnel cloud in the clear cup. The vortex settled and I gave it another twirl, watching the drink get lighter as the coconut milk mixed in.
“It really couldn’t wait ‘til after?” Em’s voice made me look up as she and Phoebe made their way over to the corner table I’d grabbed in the bookstore café. Even though it was on the other side of the low romance novel bookshelves, where the occasional nosy bookworm would poke their head over to listen in, it was also in the least crowded part of the café.
Phoebe clutched a book to her chest with one arm while balancing a mug and saucer with her other hand. “It was the last copy. Someone else might have gotten it if I didn’t.”
Em shook her head and slid her mug onto the table. “So? We’d just go to the bookstore in Millbrook tomorrow. They always have lots of copies of the new stuff.”
“But I have to read it tonight before people start posting spoilers.” Her exasperated sigh carried an unspoken ‘you should know that by now.’
Em’s dismissive wave almost knocked over my drink. “Get the e-book.”
Phoebe clutched the book tighter as she took her seat, not acknowledging that I was sitting next to her. “There are some books that just have to be read on paper. E-books aren’t the same.” She primly took a sip of what looked to be cocoa. “Besides, I have the book now, so I don’t know why you’re still going on about it.”
“Because you’re such a…book purist.”
“Says the drama purist who dressed up like a pirate for a week to get into character.”
As much as part of me wanted to chime into the banter with my own practically scripted role of the voice of reason in this banana-pants friendship, the elephant in the room wouldn’t let me. “Thanks for coming,” I said, breaking in before Em could retort.
“Em and Alec made me,” Phoebe said with a sniff, sitting up ramrod straight.
Em looked over at me and sympathy snuck over her features for the barest of seconds. “I’m not happy with how you talked to me,” she said, her voice soft. “We’ve known you for a long time, and you’re not the kind of person who hurts others.”
“At least, you weren’t,” Phoebe said, peeking over the top of her mug before her gaze dropped back to the saucer. “What you said to Em is wrong.”
“I screwed up too, Fee,” Em told her. It was weird seeing Em being the super-mature one out of the group, for once. Usually, that was my job. “I just wanted to help.”
I forced myself to keep from snorting or making any other scoffing sounds. “By trying to orchestrate something behind my back? And Leia’s?”
Em waved her hand dismissively at that comment. “I think you’re giving up too easy. You two can fix this.”
“I don’t know.” I went back to making my latte tornado. “I hope so, but it won’t be with surprise meetings over water ice.”
“It might, if you just talk,” she retorted forcefully.
I shook my head, not looking up at either of them. “It can’t, because it’s all my fault.”
Em started coughing, as if some of her latte had gone down the wrong way. As soon as she could breathe again, she choked out, “What do you mean, your fault?”
“It was all me. I kept missing some of our dates, being late when we were supposed to get together, that kind of stuff, and it got on her nerves. Whenever I wasn’t late or didn’t have to cancel, we’d fight about not being able to spend time together. I can’t fix my schedule and I don’t know if I can fix this.”
“You can fix this because she loves you, stupid.” Now, that was our Em.
The comment made my heart twist and made me want to vomit. I dropped my chin into my hand and started rubbing my temple. “Maybe love’s not enough.” I really didn’t have to explain anything to them, but these were two of my best friends. I took a deep breath, feeling incredibly old. “And maybe I don’t want to fix it.”
“Excuse me?” Phoebe said, her eyes growing super wide.
I pressed my lips together and nodded before sayi
ng out loud what had been bouncing around in my brain for the past few days. “It’s probably going to end, anyway. We’re going to be too far apart to see each other next year. It’s only fair that we both get a chance to meet other people. The timing’s perfect—school’s ending, we’re at this transition point in our lives, anyway, and both Leia and I have GPAs high enough that a little emotional turmoil right now really won’t impact our final grades. Besides, a breakup during freshman year at college can really screw up the whole four-year plan.” I took in their wide-eyed stares and added, “And our entire future.”
“That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard from someone who is supposed to be smart,” Em said, while Phoebe said at the same time, “Oh my God, Grace. Life’s not some sort of chemistry formula.”
“Actually, carbon, oxygen…” I trailed off when they both scowled at me instead of getting my science joke. For two very different people, they sometimes seemed to share the same brain. “Look, I’m probably not getting back together with her. And whether you like it or not, you have to admit that I had a right to be upset at you the other day.” I aimed that last comment at Em.
“Yeah, but,” Phoebe said, curling her fingers around her mug, “that doesn’t give you a right to yell at your friends.”
I nodded at her. “True, but remember that I don’t get involved in your relationships, either.”
“You and Leia love giving us advice.” Phoebe pointed out.
“You ask for it,” I countered. “And I don’t try to trick you into doing anything you don’t want.”
Phoebe closed her eyes for a second and nodded. This time, she was the serious one. “Fair enough.”
Looking from one to the other, I felt myself just… deflate. As if any energy I’d had left for the rest of the school year had just evaporated out of me. “Honest to goodness, I really didn’t plan on any of this.”
“You can’t plan other people’s emotions. They’re not computers or science experiments.” Em sounded a little like my mom and I had to avoid rolling my eyes.
“Yeah. Emotions are messy. I get it.” I said, taking a sip from my drink to give me a second to center myself and steady my voice. “Trust me, this thing with Leia sucks for me, too.”
Phoebe scooted her chair next to mine and dropped her head on my shoulder, wrapping her arm around me and patting my arm. “You know this doesn’t mean you’re one hundred percent off the hook, right? This isn’t like some Hallmark movie. I’m still upset about what you did.”
“Quelle surprise,” I said, softly.
Em shared a long look with Phoebe, then turned to me. “But we’re not going to bring this up anymore. Because we’re friends. And friends don’t beat a dead horse into a pulp.” She looked back at Phoebe on the last sentence, who sat back up and stuck her tongue out at both of us.
I could feel the corners of my lips curling up at their antics. “Thanks, Em.”
“And friends don’t replace friends with eye candy when they go off to their fancy new universities, even if it’s to help further their GPAs or social standing or whatever other ridiculous thing you’ve calculated out,” Em added. “No breaking up our friendship, got it?”
I should have seen a comment like that coming from Em. I faked a serious nod. “I’ll remember that.”
“Good, because I might need your help understanding any science stuff in my biomedical ethics class next year.” Em took in my reaction and laughed. “Oh, yeah, you missed that at lunch the other day. In addition to nurturing my fledgling but illustrious acting career at one of the best programs in the nation, I’m going to minor in leadership for social action, and I have to take an ethics class.”
Leadership for social action. With all her new volunteer activities, our little Em was really growing up. “Kris had no influence on that at all, did he?” I asked, looking over at Phoebe, who shared my look of amusement.
A pout dramatically formed on Em’s lips. “Why is it so hard for anyone to believe that I’m into helping people without my boyfriend talking me into it?”
I patted her hand. “I believe you. It’s just that last year you we talking about not minoring at all so you could spend more time hanging in the theater district.”
“And last year you were talking about all your great plans for this summer with Leia,” Em shot back quickly.
That comment hurt. “What were you saying about a dead horse a minute ago?”
Em cringed, probably realizing what she’d said. “Truce. Let’s pick on Phoebe, instead. Any bets on how many times she’s going to miss her cues at our concert Thursday night because she’s too busy staring at Dev?”
Phoebe narrowed her eyes at us and downed the rest of her cocoa in one gulp. “And, on that, I’m heading to the young adult section. There’s a new Pamela Kaye book out today.” She made a big show of grabbing her book and sticking her nose in the air as she left the table.
Em started laughing and I joined in, my laugh actually feeling real for the first time since the fight.
Chapter 29
“You need to be nice to Kris tonight,” Alec said without preamble as he broke the silence in our Engineering Design class.
“I’m sorry, what?” I asked, looking up from a paper on stroke rehabilitation.
“At the concert. We’re all sitting together and we don’t need any unnecessary arguments because you won’t have your buffer with you. Leia’s not coming tonight, right?”
I stared at Alec for a solid minute, but he nonchalantly kept working on his sketch. “What do you mean, ‘buffer?’”
“Leia. I’m assuming she’s not coming to the concert, right?”
“You realize she’s not talking to me?” I asked, pushing past the pang in my stomach at those words. “I’d assume no.”
“Okay, no buffer. Definite chance for you to butt heads with Kris, then.”
I felt a little bit like Alice talking to the Cheshire Cat in the analyses I did for my English paper, but no amount of geometry could make this conversation compute. “You’re making no sense.”
“You were the first to get a significant other out of all of us.” Before I could say anything, he waved his hand and added, “Em’s five-minute relationships with the leading man of the week didn’t count. Technically, Kris is the first guy she let her dad put through the Katsaros third degree.”
“Ouch.” Em’s dad was super sweet to all of us, and like a stand-in dad for Alec, but I’d seen him be ridiculously overprotective of her before, to the point where she never even let him know about the foreign exchange student she’d dated most of Junior year. Alec was the only guy regularly allowed over at their house. “Actually, I’m a little surprised the two of you never dated.”
He nearly turned green. “Heck no. She’s practically my sister. It would be like incest. We have pictures of us together in diapers. Our families vacation together. We even once superglued Chloe to her bouncy chair by mistake when we were babysitting her. I mean, I love Em a lot—like a sister,” he added with hard emphasis on “sister,” “but just because you love her like a friend, too, and have known her for years, would you date her if she were into girls?”
“Point,” I said, trying not to laugh at the image of a younger Alec and Em trying to unglue a baby from a chair and resisting the urge to ask how they managed to free her.
“I’ll never understand those stupid rom-coms that have people go from hanging out with each other in diapers to falling in love.”
I noticed Mr. Newton’s warning stare and dropped my voice. “It happens.”
Alec shook his head, hard. “Well, not to me and her. But, anyway, what I was saying before you derailed the conversation was that you’ve never had to do the third wheel or single thing with us. I’m a pro at it, but you’ve always had Leia and you were always the one giving out advice.” He then added with a tilt of his head, “You were kinda superior about all of it most of the time, too. Like you were the super adult one out of all of us kindly bestowing us immat
ure mortals with your knowledge.”
I cringed. There was no way I came across like that, otherwise, why did everyone always call me for advice? “That’s not fair. I only give advice when people ask. And I don’t act like I’m superior.”
“Just calling it like I see it,” he said with a shrug. “I know you don’t do it on purpose, but it sometimes comes across like that. And, honestly, when it came to relationships, Feebs and Em needed to be slapped upside the head sometimes, anyway.”
“I also never slapped anyone upside the head,” I shot back.
“Mmmhmm. Not literally. Anyway, it’s my turn to give you advice for tonight. Rule number one of third wheelitude is to acknowledge that you’re a third wheel, but don’t let it get to you. Like, everyone really does want to hang out with you even if they seem kinda absorbed by their significant other, so don’t think anything otherwise.” He held up one finger, as if to emphasize his point.
“I don’t,” I said as patiently as I could. Alec giving me advice was cute and I didn’t want to take away from his self-perceived Obi-Wan moment.
He then grew super serious, holding up a second finger. “And rule number two is that you should be friendly with the significant others because you can’t hide behind your own significant other. Even if that significant other is in the running for Lambertfield’s most obnoxious junior politician.”
My lips mouthed a “huh?” and my forehead wrinkled. “I’m friendly with Kris.” Sometimes he got on my nerves, but I didn’t remember one moment where I was ever rude to him.
“No, Leia was friendly with him.” Before I could argue otherwise, he said, “You sat on the other side of her every time we went out as a group. You literally sit on the other side of the lunch table to avoid him because she’s not around to block him. No Leia buffer means playing nice with Kris or else you’re going to look like the bad, unsupportive friend.”
Practically Ever After Page 15
