by Holly Jacobs
“Yes,” she said. Maybe if they spent time together he’d figure out that there was more than just a baby between them…. There was love.
Eight
I won’t marry someone because I have to.
Cara’s words had torn at Michael’s heart all day as he got ready for their dinner. He’d given her space, hoping she’d really think about what he said.
I won’t marry someone because I have to.
She didn’t love him. Didn’t have the same feelings for him that he had about her.
Marrying him would be a hardship, would be a necessity. Something she would feel as if she had to do.
All he wanted was what his parents had.
What his sister had found.
All he wanted was a relationship built on love.
Maybe it was too soon for Cara to love him.
I won’t marry someone because I have to.
Tonight he’d try to convince her that they had something together, something too big to be ignored.
And he had a good starting point. After all, he knew she desired him. Maybe that could be the basis for something more.
He was going to do his best to see to it that it was.
Michael sliced up olives, trying to concentrate on cooking. Normally he enjoyed being in the kitchen. It felt so everyday, so normal. But today, he couldn’t enjoy the process of preparing a meal because his stomach was in knots.
Why did this have to be so hard?
He picked up a tomato and began cutting it into chunks.
He knew that Cara belonged here in Eliason, belonged with him. But she was fighting it, fighting fate.
Someone knocked on his door. He wiped his hand on a towel as he went through the sitting room to open it.
“Hi,” Cara said, shyly.
His stomach untwisted slightly at the sight of her. It was as if he could finally breathe again.
She was dressed in a pair of khakis and a solid green polo shirt that was remarkably close to the color of her eyes.
“Hi.” He opened the door wide and beckoned her in. “I’m so glad you agreed to dinner.”
“I haven’t been in this section of the castle before.”
“It’s my private residence. I do have my own home south of here, but I spend so much time in the capital that I needed something here as well. Living with Mom and Dad is something any self-respecting thirty-year-old should avoid, but there’s always a question of security. Having my own wing is my compromise.”
“It’s lovely.”
Michael tried to see the sitting room as she did. Leather furniture, deep red walls, a huge bookcase. It was comfortable, but not nearly as opulent as other areas of the castle.
“I like the books,” she added.
He laughed. “That doesn’t surprise me.”
He guided her to the kitchen. “I’m glad you agreed to dining with me.” The words came out much more stilted than he’d have preferred. But he needed to maintain some distance, if only to prevent himself from touching her.
Michael wanted to pull her to him and hold onto her until she agreed to stay. But he’d learned more about Cara. She might be quiet and gentle, but she had a spine of steel.
“Have a seat. I just have a few finishing touches.”
“You’re cooking?” she asked.
He laughed. “Nervous?”
She shook her head as she slid onto one of the stools on the opposite side of the big island. “No, I imagine if you want to cook, you do it well.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because you’re too tenacious to settle for less than that. You’d keep practicing until you got it, right?”
“Tenacious. I think that’s a compliment.”
“It could be. Or it could be my very polite way of saying that you’re a nag.”
Michael didn’t feel the least bit insulted; in fact, he laughed. “If nagging gets me what I want, then I’m all for it. And what I want—”
She cut him off. “You have a beautiful view.” She looked out the windows at the far end of the room.
“See that road?” Michael accepted the fact she wasn’t ready to talk about anything heavy. For tonight, he’d try to keep it light. He just wanted to enjoy her company.
Cara looked back at him and he continued. “My great-great-something grandfather was riding on the small dirt predecessor when he spied the hill. He turned to his party and said, This is where I will build my home. That’s just what he did. Once my family decides to do something, we do. And we’ve lived in the house he built ever since.”
“It’s beautiful.”
“I know it’s not a real castle, the kind with a moat and turret. That’s why he built that tall tower, to make up for the lack. He claimed that from the top he could see every corner of Eliason.”
“Can you?” Cara asked.
“Eliason is small. In America you’ve got states that are bigger. But I don’t think we’re quite that small.”
“You have a lot to be proud of. It’s so beautiful here. I love going into the city. St. Mark’s is so filled with contrasts, history blended with the modern.”
“That’s what I love as well. My father and I have been trying to capitalize on just that. Trying to bring in industry, especially computers. We’d like to make Eliason the silicon valley of Europe. At the same time we’ve tried to capitalize on our history, bringing in tourism….”
Cara listened as Michael talked about his plans for Eliason as he cooked. His excitement was evident. His love for his country infused in every word, in every plan.
When his father stepped down, Michael would lead the country well. And library reading aside, she didn’t think she was cut out to help him with a role that large.
Michael served a light salad, followed by a pasta dish with garlic bread and another bottle of sparkling grape juice.
As they ate, he continued to keep the light conversation going.
“Am I boring you?” Michael asked as he glanced her way and their eyes met.
Whenever it happened, Cara felt a connection with him.
“Cara?” he prompted.
“Oh. No, you’re not boring me at all. I love your enthusiasm.”
Cara could listen to Michael talk forever about anything and feel totally content just to listen. She loved the sound of his voice. Loved the rise and fall of it, loved his cadence.
He led her to a balcony. She’d expected him to pull her into his embrace, but instead he kept a respectful distance. Close, but not too close. She felt a tiny stab of disappointment.
She looked down at the road his grandfather had traveled, a road that had led to this castle. More than a castle, a home.
She inhaled deeply, trying to breathe in the night air. But all she could smell was Michael. Warm and…
Inviting.
No matter what she was doing, what was going on around her, her thoughts just kept circling back to Michael.
“…and the people insisted…” he continued.
Insisted.
She’d insisted Michael leave her alone. Stop sending her things. Stop asking her to marry him. But he hadn’t obliged and she wasn’t sure how to make him.
Of course, he hadn’t asked her yet tonight.
She should tell him how she felt. But maybe he’d confess he didn’t feel the same way. That he was attracted to her, liked her, too, but it would never be anything more. And if he said he simply felt he had to marry her, she knew her heart would break.
He broke the silence. “We’ve got so much to talk about. I’ve never brought anyone up here. It’s my haven, a place to get away from my duties and the hectic pace here in the capital.”
She couldn’t think of anything to say to that, so she simply said, “Thank you for sharing it.”
“Cara, there’s so much more I’d like to share with you if only you’d let me.”
She longed to say yes. She might not have known him long, but she was learning more every day about her baby’s fathe
r.
He was strong.
He was persistent.
Once he set a goal, he didn’t back down.
And when he loved, he loved deeply. She had no doubt he loved their baby.
Right now keeping his baby in the country was his goal and to do that he’d do just about anything. Including marrying her.
But this would be a marriage without love. Two people who’d build a life around a child. And what would happen when their comfortable relationship became less than comfortable?
So though she and Michael might be able to build a relationship on their chemistry and the baby—something that might be companionable, even comfortable—in the long run it wouldn’t work.
That kind of relationship wasn’t what she wanted, what she’d dreamed of. Maybe in time the two of them could grow into something stronger—something built on love.
But time was running out.
Suddenly she knew what she had to do.
“I think I’ve come up with a solution to our problem,” she said, the slight niggle of an idea growing more solid by the second.
“Solution?” he asked. “You’re going to say yes and marry me?”
“No. A marriage might work for the short-term, but when I marry I want it to be because of love, not because of practicalities. Since that’s not an option for us…” She paused a fraction of a second, hoping against hope he’d say that love was more than an option, that it was a fact.
When he didn’t say the words she longed to hear, she continued, “Since it’s not an option, I’m going to move to Eliason. I mean, you need bookstores here. I’ll move to St. Mark’s. You can see the baby whenever you want.”
“That’s your solution?”
He didn’t sound enthused. As a matter of fact he sounded a great deal less than enthused.
“Yes. It’s perfect. Shey will be close, and Parker’s going to be coming back and forth between here and Perry Square. I’ll still have my friends, and you’ll have the baby close by. It’s perfect.”
“Perfect?” He spat out the word as if it left a bad taste behind.
“Michael, I thought you wanted to be near the baby. This would work without trapping you in a loveless marriage. And you could still see the baby grow up.”
“I—” He cut himself off. “I think it’s time to say good-night.”
He was angry, she could see that, but she wasn’t sure why. “But, I want to talk—”
“Not now, Cara. I need some time to digest your offer.”
He led her to the door and formally said, “Thank you for dining with me.”
“Michael,” she started, unsure what to say next.
“Good night.”
After Cara left, Michael couldn’t stop thinking about her offer.
He was used to being decisive. But with Cara, he was feeling uncharacteristically unsure. He was floundering in the unfamiliar.
He needed advice.
There were only two people he knew he could count on to give it to him straight. Two people who needed to be apprised of the situation, not just because they were his parents, but because whatever happened with Cara would have some impact on the monarchy.
He knew it was late, but didn’t hesitate to head to their private suite and knock on their door. His father’s booming voice called, “Enter.”
“Michael.” His mother was wearing a pair of sweatpants and a Brig Niagara T-shirt Parker must have sent her from Erie. She rose and greeted him with a hug.
His father was still in his daytime attire and studied him a moment. “It’s been years since you came to us this late. Not since your rather wild teens.”
His mother led him to the sofa and sat next to him. “And we’re here, just like we were then. What’s wrong? You haven’t been yourself for weeks.”
“It’s…” Now that he was here, he couldn’t think of the most delicate way to handle his news. “Well, it’s about Cara. And me. You see…”
“I’ve grown very fond of Cara,” his mother assured him. “She’s a lovely girl. We’d be delighted to have you see her.”
“Well, I have a little more than seeing her in mind. You see, we met before Cara came to Eliason. When I went to visit Parker.”
“Go on,” his father said.
“It was everything you’ve told me you experienced when the two of you met. I never imagined falling for anyone the way I fell for her.” Knowing he had to say the words, he said, “And she’s pregnant with my baby. I know that this will mean a public-relations nightmare….”
His mother waved a hand, stopping him midsentence. “The public can be dealt with at a later date. All I want to know is, how do you feel about Cara? About the baby?”
“I love her, and I’m thrilled at the idea of becoming a father—except when I’m terrified. What if I can’t do it? What if I can’t be the type of parents you were? Parker and I always knew we came first, despite your very public roles. We were your priority. What if I can’t find that balance?”
“You love her, you’ll love the baby, and you’ll work out the balancing because you know it’s important,” his father said. “I don’t have any doubts about that.”
“So when is the wedding?” his mother asked. Then she stopped and smiled. “I’m going to be a grandmother. Oh.” Tears welled in her eyes. “I’ll warn you right now, Michael, that this baby is going to be spoiled. I have plans. And so many presents to buy.”
Michael could see the wheels in her mind turning as she considered all the ways she could spoil this baby.
“Your plans?” his father simply asked.
“I’ve asked her to marry me…repeatedly. She won’t. She says she doesn’t want to be forced into marriage.” Just saying the words sent another sharp stab of pain radiating through his body. “Although, tonight she offered to relocate to Eliason, so that I could be near my child.”
“Ah, the Dillonetti curse.” His father shook his head. “The men in our family never choose an easy path to love. We have to work at it. Convincing your mother to accept my proposal…”
“Don’t listen to him. I said yes the first time he asked.”
“More like the twentieth. I counted.”
“The first nineteen weren’t serious proposals. Number twenty, that was the first one you really meant. You’d thought it all through and decided your country could handle an American as their future queen.”
“So, you think there’s a chance Cara will say yes?”
His mother kissed his cheek. “She’d be a fool not to.”
Michael knew he should have come to his parents sooner. Having them behind him meant everything. He hadn’t realized how much he needed their reassurance.
“Wait a minute,” his mother said. She rose and went into the bedroom, returning a minute later with a small box. “Your grandfather gave me this. It was your grandmother’s engagement ring. If you want it, I’d like you to have it for your Cara.”
Michael opened the box and found an exquisite diamond surrounded by topazes. “It’s beautiful.”
His father’s expression said it all—his look telling her how much he appreciated her gesture.
He turned to Michael. “Don’t rush her. Our family falls fast and hard. But maybe she needs to fall slower and softer. You may have to ask twenty times, and that might feel like an eternity, but if you love her—”
“I do,” he assured his father.
“Then it’s worth the wait.”
“Give her some breathing room,” his mother added. “Finding out she’s pregnant, that’s a lot to deal with in and of itself. Love her. Support her. Wait for her to take whatever time she needs. Woo her gently. Convince her that it’s her you want. That you want Cara and not just the mother of your baby.”
“Of course it’s Cara I want.”
“Remind her of that, but go slow.”
“Give her space?” Michael muttered.
“That’s just it.” His mother smiled. “Now, when exactly is my first grandchild due?
I have so many things to get ready.”
Michael filled his mother and father in on everything, even as he wondered how he was going to give Cara breathing room, when every fiber of his being wanted her more with each passing moment.
Nine
Cara knew Michael was avoiding her.
It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure it out. He wasn’t exactly being subtle.
Wherever she was, Michael wasn’t. And if their paths accidentally did cross, he uncrossed them as quickly as possible.
He wasn’t rude. Just distant.
There were no more flowers. No more marriage proposals.
Instead of lurking through the back corridors, she was striding down the busiest passageways, hoping for something.
If pressed, he’d give her a small social smile, or ask about her health. But that was the extent of their communication.
It was driving Cara crazy.
She missed him. She didn’t miss the gifts, she just missed him. Missed that crooked grin every time he felt he was getting away with something.
Missed those little bows that had driven her nuts.
She missed the feel of him when he held her.
She missed his hand lightly brushing her stomach.
She missed his teasing.
She missed his kisses.
She felt as if she were walking around with a hole somewhere. Something was missing.
Not something. Someone. Michael.
When she’d blurted out that she’d decided to stay in Eliason, it had been a rash, spur of the moment decision. Sort of like the night she’d met Michael.
Note to self…no more acting on her gut feelings.
Logic.
Well-thought-out plans.
That’s how she was going to run her life from now on.
She was going to go back to weighing everything before she acted.
“Cara?” Shey called. She had arrived last night and they were spending the day catching her up on the wedding plans.
“He’s looking at you again,” Parker told her.
Cara turned and glanced across the room where Michael stood with Tanner and Jace. Her eyes met his. Rather than that slow, sexy smile, he looked pained.
