“It has to! There’s an end to everything. You will see. It will end, and we will find out the truth.” Then I mumbled, “If it’s the last thing I do.” Henry was giving my idea some thought.
Thomas, who we had forgotten about, walked in from the dining room. “When do you want some from me?” he asked.
Henry cleared his throat, trying to rid it of the sounds of sorrow. “Tomorrow morning okay with you?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, thanks. Alright then. Tomorrow morning.” I didn’t like the idea of traveling one bit. I was afraid I would lose them. Henry looked at his forearm. “Let’s cut these things out and rid ourselves of the past. It will give us some of the freedom we have been craving.”
I got up and grabbed the knife Henry used on Kellan. His blood had already dried on it. I took it to the sink, poured bottled water on it, and soaped it up with my mom’s favorite dish detergent.
The lemon verbena smell flooded me with memories of my many evenings sitting on the countertops, chatting with her about everything while she cleaned up the dinner dishes. Knowing I could never do that again, I came back out and handed the knife to Henry.
“Would you like to do the honors?” He tried to hand the knife back to me.
I stepped back. “Not unless you want me to barf in your face.” Everyone laughed, but I didn’t think it was that funny.
“Actually, we’ll use a smaller knife. This one is a little bit of an overkill.” He smirked. I decided to go upstairs while they did what they had to do.
Chapter 23
N
ick escorted Claire to his room. After he closed and locked the door, he motioned her toward the bed. She sat down while rubbing the duvet cover with the palms of her hands. She smirked when she realized it was a floral print.
“Are you into flowery décor, Nick?”
“Of course I am. Every man enjoys a pretty floral print on his blankets.” He winked at her. She knew sarcasm was a family trait. Nick sat down beside her on the bed. She nervously fiddled with her fingers.
“Listen,” Nick started. “Can we talk about what happened down there with the…?”
Claire interrupted him. “Wasn’t it awful?”
Nick looked confused. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize my kissing was so awful. I suppose I could work on that somehow.”
Claire slapped her hands over her mouth. “No! No, I mean Henry. What happened with Henry.”
“Oh.” Nick was embarrassed. He chuckled a little at both of them.
“Your kissing was…nice, actually.”
Nick smiled with relief. He leaned close to her to kiss her again, but she backed off. “What’s wrong?”
“I…umm…” She was trying to form her words so she didn’t hurt or offend him in any way. “I’m afraid.”
“I understand.” Nick got up and headed toward the door.
“Wait!” He stopped, but didn’t turn around. She got up and grabbed his hand. “I don’t want you to leave.” She directed him back to the bed. “I’m just saying that I’m afraid. Of everything. I’m afraid of loving and losing. I’m afraid of this world. I’m so afraid…” Claire’s voice cracked. She could feel she was on the verge of tears.
“Shhh…” Nick pulled her close and held her. “I’m afraid, too,” he whispered in her ear.
“I still can’t believe all of this is happening. One day, I’m happy as a clam. The next, my world as I knew it had fallen apart.”
He made her look at him. “Claire, I want to make you happy again.” He was so sincere.
“Oh, Nick. I want to be happy again, too, but…how can any of us be happy in this madness? How is that possible?”
“We can figure it out.” He fiddled with her hair and touched her cheek.
“What if we decided to make a go of this? What if we fall in love, and something happens to one of us? What if we decided to marry eventually? And children? What about children?” Her questions were coming out in rapid fire.
“Claire.” He positioned himself so he could look her in the eye. “Listen to me. We can’t live on a ‘what if’ basis. We have to live in the now. We just have to. There is no other way to live anymore. We can’t take a single day for granted, thinking we’ll wake up tomorrow. I don’t know what my future is, none of us do, but why not try to make the best of our situation? Why not try to live in the now?”
She quickly realized that what Nick was saying was true. No one knew what would happen in five minutes, let alone ten years. She was so used to having everything planned out that it was hard for her to live spontaneously. Nick was absolutely right. There was no other way to live.
“Kiss me,” she whispered. He didn’t waste a second. He began kissing her passionately, and Claire returned it. The chill of his lips and tongue, as he stroked hers, made her shudder.
Nick pulled back. “Are you okay?”
“Yes, yes. Please, don’t stop…” She leaned into him for more. Nick began to kiss her neck.
Then she thought of Marc. She gasped and jumped back. “What’s wrong? Did I do something wrong?” Claire sat there stunned for a moment, staring at him. “Claire?” He touched her cheek.
“Do you think they would have wanted us to move forward?” Nick took a deep breath. He knew what she was thinking.
“I think they would want us to be happy. So, yeah, I think they would want us to move forward.” He felt some sadness, but he knew Jenna would want him to move on.
“I think you’re right.” Claire dove back into Nick’s embrace. He laid her down on the bed. Things heated up, even though Nick’s body stayed cool. Her body prickled with his every touch.
He pulled back enough to soak her in. His eyes dazzled her, and she melted with his look. “You are everything a man could ever want, and so damn beautiful. I don’t know why I never…”
“Shhh…” She began kissing him again, pulling him back down on top of her. She loved the feel of his weight pressing down on her smaller frame. He felt so much different than Marc. It wasn’t that she hadn’t enjoyed Marc and his love making, but being with Nick was something she had yearned for. She let out a moan as he reached down and pulled her leg up.
“I want to kiss you all over.”
“Please…,” she whispered.
Nick laid a kiss on her forehead, then moved to her right ear. He drew her earlobe into his mouth and nipped it. Claire let out another soft moan. She held onto his hips as he ground them into hers. He circled the outer edge of her ear with his tongue, and then slowly worked his way down her neck, leaving kisses at each stopping point.
The deep V-neck t-shirt that Claire wore exposed what little cleavage she had. Nick was glad she hadn’t noticed that he was staring at her cleavage every second that he could throughout the day. He kissed her collarbone and down to her chest, where he met her shirt.
“Baby…this needs to come off.”
“Yours, too.” She wanted to see his fit chest, never imagining that she would be able to touch it.
Nick pulled back, and pulled his t-shirt over his head. Claire wiggled her way out of hers. She had on one of her only bras, and it happened to be emerald green lace that matched Nick’s eyes.
“Jesus Christ, Claire.” She smiled, as his eyes darted around her nearly naked upper body. “You are the most beautiful woman that I’ve ever seen.”
She laughed. “You are just saying that to get into my pants.”
He smirked at her. “Baby, I don’t need to compliment you to get into your pants. My good looks do it for me.” Claire burst out laughing, and Nick followed with a hearty chuckle.
“Keep going,” she said, as she grabbed his hair and pulled him back down to her lips. “I want more kisses.”
“No problem, baby.” He kissed her lips, and went back to where he left off. He nuzzled his way across her chest and pulled her right breast out of her bra. “Let’s just take this thing off, shall we?” She sat up, and he reached around behind. In a snap of a finger, her bra came
off and hit the floor.
Nick dove right in. He ran his thumbs over her nipples. She let out another moan as he played with one and licked the other. He began to kiss his way down to her navel.
“Nick…,” she moaned.
“Yes, baby?” he breathed as he left another kiss on her abdomen.
“I need more.”
“I’m getting there. I want to savor this moment.” He nipped at her firm stomach. “Jesus, baby,” he spoke into her pale skin. “You’re so fucking sexy.”
He unbuttoned and unzipped her jeans, inching them down off of her hips. He kissed her hip bones and across her lower abdomen, as he ran his cool finger just under the edge of her lacey panties. He wondered if her hair was just as ginger south of the border. He closed his eyes, imagining what she looked like and what it would feel like to be deep inside of her as he slithered his way back to her face.
He felt her hands go from his chest to the waist of his pants. Once she unfastened them, Claire pushed her hand down them. Nick threw his head back and groaned when she stroked him through the soft cotton of his boxers.
“Oh, god, baby. I can’t wait to feel you around me.” She smiled because she couldn’t wait to feel him inside of her. He kicked off his pants, then pulled hers off, as well. “Fuck me…,” he said, as he sat back and looked at her.
“What?”
“You. Holy fuck. Look at you. So damn perfect.”
“I am not.”
“Yes, you are, and don’t you dare say you’re not in front of me. Don’t ever put yourself down. You are absolutely perfect, Claire.” She shyly looked off to the side. Marc was never as generous with the compliments. He would say that she was beautiful, but Nick made her feel beautiful.
“Thank you.”
He looked down and licked his lips. “Those need to go.” He reached down and yanked off her tiny panties.
“Yours, too.” He shimmied out of his boxers and stood up. His hard length stood out proudly. Nick grabbed Claire’s hand and pulled her up from the bed. After one twirl, she was in his arms again. His length was rigid against her abdomen.
“Would you let me taste you?” Claire nodded into his neck. He made her sit down on the edge of the bed. “Put your legs over my shoulders,” he said, as he kneeled down in front of her. She pinned her knees together, and looked at him with worry. “Don’t be shy. You’re beautiful. Do what I ask, and you won’t regret it. I promise you.”
Claire allowed herself to relax. He kissed the top of her slit, which made her moan in anticipation. Then he went lower and dragged his tongue up, making him groan against her heated wetness. The vibration made her gasp.
“Nick…,” she panted, and his tongue repeatedly flicked at her swollen nub. He dipped his tongue in her wet folds. She felt her peak coming on, fast and furious. She tensed up.
“Relax, baby. Just relax.” His cool breath tickled her heat. She inhaled deeply and exhaled at length. “That’s it.” He ran his tongue around her once more before he started to crawl up on her body. He shifted both of them so that they were laying on the pillows. She could feel his tip pressing into her. He kissed her gently, looking into her beautiful blue eyes.
“Are you sure?” he asked, a sexy grit in his voice.
“Yes. I want this.”
Nick closed his eyes, and he began pushing himself into her an inch at a time. Her body opened to him as his throbbing thickness entered her. He took her away, making her feel like nothing was wrong in her world. Their bodies moved as one. Never had sex with anyone else felt that way to him. For the first time in his life, he felt like he was making love, not just having sex. It was more than just physical. It became secure in his mind that Claire was the one for him. In that moment, he made the decision that he would never be with another. She was all he ever needed.
They looked deep into one another’s eyes, studying each other’s face. He ran his hand down her side, and slowly passed over her breast. She moaned with pleasure. He nuzzled her ear, planting soft kisses down her neck and over her jaw.
“God, baby…you’re so fucking beautiful.”
She smiled. He picked up his pace, making sure to fill her completely each time. She gasped as he touched her inner limits. She loved the feeling of him inside of her.
“Faster, Nick…”
“Anything for you.” He picked up the pace, and she moaned in ecstasy. She dug her nails into his back. The sounds that were coming from her turned Nick on in ridiculous amounts. Then he felt her tighten her muscles on him and it nearly pushed him over the edge.
“Oh fuck, baby.” He was breathless. The stirring in her core intensified, and she shifted her hips as her body was ready to explode.
Claire’s eyes rolled as she reached her peak and drenched Nick in her silky moisture. He watched her face as she enjoyed her moment. It thrilled him that he could make her feel so good. He began kissing her again and worked one long stroke at a time.
“Oh, fuuuuck…,” he groaned in pure pleasure. He braced himself above her, ready for his moment.
With his eyes closed, Nick held his upper body up high and pounded his hips into her. Suddenly, he stopped moving and breathing. Then he dropped his head, and his body shuddered from head to toe. He inhaled sharply.
He moaned her name as he filled her, pulsing a few more times before he collapsed onto her. He lay on top of her for a minute, trying to catch his breath. She smiled, rubbing his back with her fingertips.
They laid there, quiet and still, entangled in one another’s arms. That was the most relaxed Claire had felt in such a long time. She felt safe in Nick’s arms, even if he was only partially alive.
The darkness of the night crept in. While looking into her eyes, Nick drifted off to sleep. Claire laid there, listening to him sleep, enjoying every moment.
She wasn’t ready to sleep yet, even though she knew she should, but Sophie, Thomas, and she would be traveling back to Henry’s apartment soon. Claire carefully untangled herself from Nick’s lean, muscled arms. She covered him up, then dressed.
Before she left the room, she looked back at him in his quiet slumber, and smiled. She felt at peace with what they did. She felt the love for him build inside of her. She knew that he would be all she ever wanted.
Chapter 24
I
lay in my bed, and I could hear a string of obscenities coming from both Henry and Sophie as they cut out the tracking devices. I saw Claire walk past my door, and she saw me lying there.
“What’s going on down there?”
“They’re cutting the tracking devices out.”
“Maybe I should go down there and see if I can help in any way.”
I shrugged. “Yeah, probably. Where’s Nick?” I asked.
“Oh. He fell asleep. Are you alright?” Claire seemed a little nervous. I narrowed my eyes at her. I had a feeling that they had sex. I parked that thought for the moment.
“Yeah. I’m just feeling so bad for Henry. He’s gone through so much. I surely hope what Kellan said about Henry’s mother was not true. It breaks my heart. How could a mother do that to her son?”
“It’s awful.” Claire sounded sad, as well.
I needed to change the subject before I started crying again. “Claire, what’s going on between you and Nick?” She shrugged her shoulders, and walked out of the room. I knew it.
I laid there for a moment, thinking about Henry’s situation, thinking about Nick and Claire, thinking about Sophie’s children. I was spent. I felt the night taking me in so I curled up into a ball and drifted off to dreamland.
Henry padded into the dark bedroom. He was glad to hear Elaina’s soft, deep breathing, considering as he had no energy to even say hello, let alone talk about anything. He especially didn’t want to talk about what happened with Kellan.
After setting down a bottle of whiskey that he found while rummaging through the cabinets in the kitchen, he tugged off his t-shirt and stripped out of his pants. Quietly, and with extra care so he
didn’t wake her up, Henry crawled into bed next to the love of his life. After exhaling at length, he resisted the urge to touch her. He wanted her, but he wanted her to get some rest, as well.
Henry put his arms behind his head on the pillow and stared into the blackness. Memories of his past started rolling in. He sat up and grabbed the bottle, took a few long pulls, and set it back down on the floor next to the bed. He figured if his brain was going to reminisce about the good ol’ days, he was going to do it with one of his best friends, Mr. Walker.
The first memory that came roaring through his mind was of the last time he remembered seeing his mother alive.
-May 1991-
He was sitting on the threadbare throw rug at the end of the couch.
“Mummy, thank you! I love it.” Luke held up his new car that his mother bought him for his fifth birthday.
“You are very welcome, my beautiful boy.” She smiled at him while she cleaned up the kitchen. She had baked him a cake. Her silky brown hair was loosely tied back, and her tattered apron covered her worn clothing.
The side door slammed open. His mother screamed. A man that Luke only remembered seeing a few times ran over and grabbed him by the arm, dragging him toward the door.
“No! You leave him alone!” His mother came at the man.
“He’s a whiny, little fucking prat! He needs to be turned into a man!” the man screamed while Luke flailed around, trying to escape his harsh grip.
“He has done nothing wrong! Leave him be! He’s just a boy!” His mother fought off the man.
“I told you that if you didn’t take care of what I needed, I would take him away! I’m here to collect what I’m owed.”
“No! Please. Please leave him alone. He’s an innocent boy!” Luke was crying hysterically, trying hard to pull away.
“I’m going to turn him into a man! Listen to him cry like a girl! Shut up, you little lass!” His mother grabbed at Luke, and the man backhanded her. Blood splattered across Luke’s face and torso.
Broken Dreams Page 43
