Taylor waves her hand. “Don’t worry about it. I’ve dealt with it, and I can talk about it now without getting angry or upset or falling apart,” she says. “Liz helped me a lot. She got me to that point. Well, and of course Colin...” she smiles. “Colin has been absolutely amazing.”
“He seems like a really great guy,” I say. Everything about their interactions with each other radiates love and happiness and light. It’s exactly what I want for myself someday. If only I can get past the dark. “I wouldn’t have guessed you’d been through therapy and everything. You seem so...” What? Well-adjusted? Normal? Good grief, Kori.
“Not crazy?”
“I didn’t say that.” Sheesh. I keep putting my foot in my mouth.
“Don’t worry, I’m not offended,” Taylor says. “I resisted therapy for a long time for exactly that reason. I was afraid of the stigma.” She lets out a sigh. “And of course, I’m terrible at asking for help.”
“Yeah, me too,” I say. I’m starting to relax now. She seems to get it, seems to understand. “I’ve been going through some stuff. I lost my mom last year, and I’m still struggling... my regular doctor has suggested therapy.”
“And you don’t want to do it.”
I shake my head. “No. Like you said, there’s kind of a stigma. Or if there’s not, I feel like there is. And I want to be strong. I feel like I should be strong.” After all, Landon got through this same kind of thing without therapy. Why can’t I?
“You know, it’s not always a sign of weakness to admit you need help,” Taylor says softly, and I want to believe her.
“Thanks,” I say. “For listening and all that. Anyway, I’m doing okay. Much better than I was a few months ago. I’ll be fine.” I wonder if I’m saying that for her benefit or my own.
“I hope so, but if you change your mind, I’m sure Liz could help you, or refer you to someone who could.”
I nod, but don’t say anything. I don’t doubt I could find someone to help. That’s not the point. The point is I don’t want to need help. Fortunately, I’m spared from having to answer when Colin’s voice interrupts us.
“Hey, is this conversation top secret?” he asks, stepping down into the cabin. He’s tall,and has to bend over a little bit to keep from hitting his head.
“Not at all,” Taylor says. “I think we’re done. Kori?” she asks, looking in my direction.
“Yeah, we are,” I say, a little relieved. “Where’s Landon?”
“Up steering the boat,” Colin says. “Go check it out. I think he’s having a blast.”
“I bet.” I climb up the ladder to the deck, and sure enough, Landon’s at the steering wheel with a big grin on his face.
I stand there and watch for a minute, thinking how cute he looks at the helm of a sailboat, sunglasses on and the wind blowing through his hair. He said he wanted a boat someday, and seeing him now, I understand why. He looks so comfortable, and totally happy. Like he doesn’t have a care in the world.
“Hey, you,” I say, walking up beside him. “Having fun?”
“Oh, yeah.” He turns to look at me and his smile widens. “I could definitely get used to this.”
“It looks like you already have.”
“Mmm hmm.” He reaches out and puts his arm around my shoulder, pulling me close to him, and I put my arm around his waist. “You know what I said when we were on top of the mountain, about being king of the world?’
“Uh huh,” I say chuckling at the corny movie reference again. “What about it?”
“I changed my mind. This is the best feeling I’ve had,” he says as he leans over and kisses me.
I understand what he means, because I could definitely get used to this too.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
~Kori~
I’ve made up my mind before I even go into Dr. Morris’s office. It’s time. I’m ready. I’m ready to be ‘normal,’ whatever that is, so as soon as he asks me how I’m doing, I blurt out my answer. “I’m great. I feel great. I’m ready to go off my medication.”
His kind brown eyes narrow and his lips tighten into a frown. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” he says. “In fact, I’m quite certain it’s not a good idea.”
“But why?” I want to know. “Really, I’m much better. I’m getting outside, like you said. I have friends. I’m socializing. I’m embracing life. Did you know I hiked to the top of Mount Monadnock a couple weeks ago?”
“Really?” He doesn’t smile, but at least he’s not frowning anymore, either. “What was that like?”
“Exhilarating.” I use the first word that pops in my head. “I went with Landon, the guy I told you about last time. It was our first date, and he promised me something special, and that’s where he took me.” I smile as I remember our picnic on the mountain top and the kisses we shared. “It’s so pretty there. I had no idea you could see so far.”
Dr. Morris nods. “Yes, I did that once, when I was much younger.” He lets out a little chuckle. “So, this Landon... is he your boyfriend now?”
It’s a pointed question, and maybe a little personal, but then again, Dr. Morris is kind of a surrogate grandfather at times. “I guess you could say that.” I mean, we never really talked about it. It just kind of happened. But I’m pretty sure Landon thinks of us a couple, and I feel the same way. “We spend most of our time together. We eat together, we practice boxing. We’ve gone for a bike ride. We even went sailing with another couple.”
For the first time, Dr. Morris smiles. “It certainly sounds like you’re enjoying your time with him.”
“Yes, a lot. Landon’s great,” I say. “He understands me the way no one else has, and when I’m with him, I feel so good. We have a lot of fun, and a few months ago, I wasn’t even sure fun was possible anymore.” I’m come so far, and that’s why I’m comfortable with my decision. “So, anyway, I don’t want to take the medication anymore. I don’t need it.”
He shakes his head. “I hear that a lot, Korinne. Patients start to feel better and they think they’re cured. But I generally recommend that patients stay on their medication for at least six months after they start to feel better. Depression is very serious, and it can rear its ugly head at any time. Given everything you’ve been through, and the anniversary coming up...”
He means the anniversary of my mother’s death, which is in about six weeks. It’s not like I haven’t thought about it. I think about it all the time. “I understand what you’re saying, and I appreciate the concern. I can handle it, though. I’m better.”
Dr. Morris sighs. “I sincerely hope so, but I don’t think you should be so hasty in making that decision. You still have refills left on your prescription, and you should fill it. And if you do decide to discontinue the medication, Kori, it’s important that you wean off of it slowly. Otherwise you might experience some adverse effects like rebound anxiety or depression.”
His tone is firm, and I know he means well, but I’ve made up my mind. “I probably will, just in case,” I say to appease him, even though I have no intention of refilling the medication. “Really, though, I’m much better.”
He gives me the usual parting comment about calling him if I need anything, then I’m on my way. This time, Landon knows I won’t be at practice, and instead of driving back to Plymouth I head home to check on my brother and have dinner with him and my dad.
Since I haven’t seen them in a few weeks, my dad tries his best to make a special dinner, which means spaghetti. The sauce is from a jar, not the homemade stuff like my mom used to make, but I appreciate his efforts. “This is great, Dad,” I say, meaning it.
“I feel like we’ve hardly seen you lately,” he says, which makes me feel guilty. Since I’ve been spending weekends with Landon, I haven’t been coming home.
“I’m sorry about that. I’ve been busy.”
My dad nods. “You’ve been seeing a lot of this guy.”
“Quite a bit, yeah.” I’ve told him about Landon and some of the things we�
�ve done together, and I think he’s happy that I’m making friends and getting out and doing things, even if it means I don’t come by the house as much.
“So when do we get to meet him?”
I shrug my shoulders. “I don’t know.” It’s something I haven’t really thought much about. Sure, I’ve already met Landon’s parents, but that was kind of random and before we were dating. Bringing a guy home to meet my dad now is something different.
“You should bring him for dinner sometime. I’d like to meet him.”
“Sure, okay.” I can tell my dad’s not going to let the subject drop. “I’ll talk to him.”
“My school play is next week,” Noah says. “Why don’t you bring him to that? We’re doing The Crucible.”
“That one again, huh? Mrs. Ames sure loves it.” We performed it back when I was in ninth grade drama too.
“That’s a great idea,” my dad agrees. “Alison and Paul are even flying in from Denver.”
“Oh, wow. That’s nice of them.” It seems like a long trip to make to see a freshman class play, but it’s exactly the kind of thing my aunt feels like she has to do since my mom has been gone.
“So what do you say? Do we get to meet the boy who’s managed to put a smile on my daughter’s face again?”
“I’ll ask him,” I promise, even though I wonder if we’re ready for the ‘meet the whole family’ kind of thing.
~Landon~
It’s weird not eating dinner with Kori, but it gives me a chance to hang out with Jaden and Lucas a little bit. The thing about spending so much time with Kori is that it seems like I only see Jaden at baseball practice and games, and Lucas first thing in the morning and at night.
“So when’s the wedding?” Jaden teases, and I grimace a little bit.
“Stop it, man.” It’s way too soon to think about that. Sure, things are getting pretty serious, but no way am I ready to make a lifetime commitment. Besides, my parents might kill me if I don’t finish my education first. “You’re just jealous you can’t get a date.” It’s totally not true, especially since Amanda seems to have set her sights on Jaden now that she realizes it’s not happening with me. It’s the only comeback that I can think of, though.
I’m a little distracted, because Kori went home to see her doctor in Ashland, and I’m curious how that went. Even though she likes to insist she’s fine, and she definitely seems a lot happier now than when I first met her, there are still times when she withdraws and I don’t know how to help her.
“Hey, it’s all cool,” Lucas says. “You found a girl who likes baseball, which is awesome. And you’re gone so much, I practically have the room to myself, which works out great for me.”
I don’t have a witty reply to that one because my phone buzzes, signaling a new text. It’s from Kori. She’s about to head back to campus and wants to meet me at the rec center for a little sparring. I type in a quick reply.
“Gotta go,” I say to the guys. I push my chair back and pick up my tray.
“Yep. Whipped. Definitely whipped,” Jaden says, laughing.
I roll my eyes. “Whatever. See you guys later.”
Ashland is only ten minutes from Plymouth, so I have just enough time to change clothes and scope out a bag before Kori arrives.
“Hey. Thanks for meeting me,” she says.
“Are you kidding? You’re my favorite sparring partner.” I greet her with a kiss. “How’d everything go at home?”
“Good,” she says. “It’s always nice to see my dad and my brother.”
“I bet.” That wasn’t really what I meant, though. “What about your doctor’s appointment? How’d that go?”
“Fine,” she says. “He thinks I’m doing much better, which I am. Thanks to you.”
“I haven’t really done anything,” I say. I mean, I hope I’ve helped and all, but I’m not taking the credit. I think getting over hurt and grief is an internal thing. No one else can make it happen. Sure, they can help, but in the end, it’s inside.
I search Kori’s face for some clue that she’s putting on a front, that all is not as good as she lets on, but I can’t detect anything. Her smile seems real, unforced. And that makes me smile. “Ready to go, Lucia?” I tease, taking on a boxing stance.
Kori laughs. “Sure, just a minute. I need to ask you something first.”
“What’s that?” I ask, curious.
“My brother’s in a play at school next week. The Crucible. Anyway, they want to meet you, so I thought I’d see if you want to come to the play... and if it’s too much, too soon, feel free to say no.”
It doesn’t feel like too much, especially since she’s met my folks already. It feels like the next logical step. “I’d like that,” I say. “It sounds like fun.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
~Landon~
I’m nervous about meeting Kori’s family, especially when I find out it’s not going to be just her dad and kid brother, but also her aunt and uncle from Colorado. Still, when she offers me a chance to get out of it, I refuse to take it. If I’m going to be in a relationship with her, I have to meet her family someday. Now seems like as good a time as any.
“Should I have worn a tie?” I ask as we leave for the high school, which is actually in Plymouth.
“To a high school play?” Kori looks at me and laughs. “No. You’re fine.”
“Okay.” I look down at the khakis I’m wearing, combined with a blue shirt. “I want to make a good impression.” My palms are already sweating and I rub them on my pants.
“And you will,” Kori assures me. “Remember, the last guy I dated turned out to be a total jerk. And more than anything, my dad just wants me to be happy again.”
“Are you?” I ask her. “Happy, that is?”
Kori looks my way for a second, then returns her attention to the road. “When I’m with you? Yes, I feel happy when I’m with you.”
It doesn’t completely answer the question. Sure, I’m glad she’s happy with me. Thrilled, really. But what about other times? What does she feel then? I don’t press it, though. This isn’t the time or the place.
“I really like you in that shirt,” she says, changing the subject. “It matches your eyes.”
“Thanks. And I’m glad I didn’t wear a tie,” I say. “I hate those things.” Maybe I need to get a job where I don’t have to wear one, whatever that is.
“You’d be out of place,” Kori says. “It’s not church.”
“Right.” Just a high school play. “So what role is your brother playing?”
“Judge Danforth,” Kori says. “And he’s pretty excited about it. I talked to him the other night, and he was saying his lines to me over the phone.”
“That’s cool. Maybe he has a future in theater or acting.”
“Maybe,” Kori says. “More than anything, it’s just good to hear him excited about something.”
I get it, because I was about the same age when I lost my mom, but something else strikes me. How Kori looks out for her kid brother, almost like she’s taken on the ‘mom’ role with him. It says a lot about her, and makes me like her even more. But it also makes me wonder if it puts too much pressure on her. After all, she’s still grieving too.
We get to the high school, and someone waves to us as soon as we get inside. Right away, I see the family resemblance and know it must be Kori’s dad, and that the couple with him must be the aunt and uncle.
“Are you ready?” Kori asks me.
“Absolutely,” I say and I reach for her hand as we head in their direction. She takes it, but releases it as soon as we get there to give everyone hugs.
“This is my friend, Landon Grayson,” she says. “Landon, this my dad, Joe Walsh, and my aunt and uncle, Alison and Paul Morgan.”
Her friend. I wonder if she felt the same uncertainty about how to introduce me as I did a few weeks ago when we met Taylor and Colin. Either way, I’m not gong to take it as a slight. After all, she asked me to be here with her. She wanted
me to meet her family. That says a lot to me. “It’s nice to meet you,” I say, and shake hands with all of them. “Thank you for inviting me.”
“It was my son’s suggestion,” Mr. Walsh says, “but a very good one. It’s nice to meet the boy who’s making Kori smile again.”
I feel the heat rise to my cheeks, but I don’t know why I’m embarrassed. It’s not like he said anything bad. Still, I’m not sure what to say in response. “Oh, well...”
“Where is Noah?” Kori asks, coming to my rescue. “Backstage rehearsing already?”
“Yep,” her dad answers, then looks at me. “You’ll get to meet him after the play. I know he’s looking forward to it.”
“Me too. Kori talks about him a lot.”
~Kori~
Landon’s a good sport, coming along to meet my family and even handles it well when my dad tries his best to put him on the spot. First, I tell him that I’m happy because of him, then my dad gives Landon the credit for me smiling again. We’re either going to really embarrass him or give him a big ego.
The freshman class does a great job performing The Crucible, and Noah totally nails his role as Judge Danforth. He remembers all of his lines and is animated when he delivers them, and I’m so proud of him. It’s also a little bittersweet, because I think about how much I miss my mom and how much better this would be if she could be here with us. I know she’s watching, though, and that she’s proud of Noah. I hope it also makes her happy to see that I’ve found a little piece of happiness too.
We hang around after the play is over, waiting for Noah to join us, and when he does, he’s still wearing his period costume. “Hey. Nice wig, buddy,” I tease him.
“Oh, funny.” He pulls off the shoulder length gray wig and looks like my brother again.
I tousle his real hair, which is a little damp from being underneath the wig. “You did a great job.”
He grins. “Thanks, Kori.”
Love & Light Page 10
