by Alex van Tol
And all of a sweet sudden, I know exactly what I’m going to say.
I clear my throat. What the hell. He wants to learn how to be a better listener, right?
“Things I’m Dying to Say to… Someone Who Needs to Hear Them: A List,” I begin. “By Tadeusz Yosef Goldstein.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Mr. Chadderton sit up in his chair. He doesn’t like surprises.
“Number one,” I say before I can chicken out. “You don’t control my life. I control my life.”
My voice shakes a little, but I keep my volume high and my words slow.
“Number two. I am not here on earth to make up for your mistakes, or to do the things you missed out on.”
A murmur of confusion rises from the audience. I don’t look up. I can’t. Not yet.
“Number three. Winning is not the most important thing to me. Also known as: I actually like to pass the ball.”
The murmuring grows. Audrey’s hand squeezes me again, an invisible high five.
I take a deep, steadying breath. I glance up. Mr. Chadderton makes a cutting motion at his throat. His eyes are bugging out of his head.
But I’m not stopping. Gary, Johnna and Randy are staring at me like I’ve sprouted pink hooves and a mane. Iyengar is nodding like he’s heard it all before.
I look down.
“Number four. I don’t want to be a lawyer. Of any sort. Ever.” The noise in the audience has died down. People are actually listening. I risk another glance up, but not in his direction. An older woman dressed in red throws me a thumbs-up.
As Mr. Chadderton makes his way toward the judges’ table, I take another deep breath. I’m not going to make it through all ten. But there’s one I am absolutely not going to miss.
“Number five. I don’t want to be in Debate Club after this term. I want to do screenwriting.”
Far in the back, someone hoots. It breaks the spell I’m under, and fear rushes back in.
I grip the sides of the podium fiercely. “Yeah,” I nod, squinting in the direction of the voice.
My vision starts to swim a little. I look for him then, and when I see him, I take him square on. Straight in the eye. I can’t read his expression. But—almost to my disbelief—he nods. It’s slow. More a dip of the chin than a nod.
But it’s there.
And it gives me the strangest feeling. Like I’m being put back together somehow.
I clear my throat. “Honorable judges,” I say, forcing my gaze back to the adjudication table. “I would like to apologize for interrupting what has been an otherwise reasonable debate with my personal agenda.” I shrug helplessly. “But sometimes a guy’s gotta vent.”
A ripple of laughter courses through the audience.
I bring my attention back to finishing my closing arguments. I wrap it up quickly and nod my thanks, and then Audrey and I shake hands with our opponents.
Mr. Chadderton flutters around the adjudication table as the judges make their notes. I guess I’ve blown our chances for regionals.
Doesn’t matter to me, because I’m not going.
As the applause dies away and people start to move around, I look up, into the audience. My parents are gone, likely on their way out to the foyer for the intermission, where they’ll wait for me while the judges make their final decisions. And anyway, I’m sure Dad wasn’t exactly keen to stick around after my subjecting him to a public blasting.
Later there will be explaining to do, some sorting and talking. Maybe even some rearranging.
And hopefully some changing.
I turn to Audrey and draw an imaginary sword. She bows, and I throw it to her. She catches it, grins and then raises it high.
Iyengar looks our way. “You guys are on catnip or something,” he says. “I’ve never seen anyone add a twist like that at the end, Goldstein.”
I shrug. “Wasn’t in the script.”
“Well, whatever it was, it was well said.” He nods.
“Thanks.”
“The funny thing is, you’ll probably still win.”
“God, I hope not.”
He laughs, and the three of us push through the double exit doors. The daylight is blinding, and I squint.
“Chick.”
I turn toward the sound of my name. And he’s there, looking at me like he’s never really seen me properly before. But he’s trying to now.
I drop my folder into the trash can in the foyer and grin.
I feel free.
Alex Van Tol is a recreational list maker and the author of several books for youth, including Oracle in the Orca Currents series. Alex lives in Victoria, British Columbia. For more information, visit www.alexvantol.com.
Titles in the Series
orca currents
121 Express
Monique Polak
Ace’s Basement
Ted Staunton
Agent Angus
K.L. Denman
Alibi
Kristin Butcher
Bear Market
Michele Martin Bossley
Benched
Cristy Watson
Beyond Repair
Lois Peterson
The Big Apple Effect
Christy Goerzen
The Big Dip
Melanie Jackson
Bio-pirate
Michele Martin Bossley
Blob
Frieda Wishinsky
Bones
John Wilson
Branded
Eric Walters
Cabin Girl
Kristin Butcher
Caching In
Kristin Butcher
Camp Wild
Pam Withers
Caught in the Act
Deb Loughead
Chat Room
Kristin Butcher
Cheat
Kristin Butcher
Cracked
Michele Martin Bossley
Crossbow
Dayle Campbell Gaetz
Daredevil Club
Pam Withers
Destination Human
K.L. Denman
Disconnect
Lois Peterson
Dog Walker
Karen Spafford-Fitz
Explore
Christy Goerzen
FaceSpace
Adrian Chamberlain
Farmed Out
Christy Goerzen
Fast Slide
Melanie Jackson
Finding Elmo
Monique Polak
Flower Power
Ann Walsh
Fraud Squad
Michele Martin Bossley
Hate Mail
Monique Polak
High Wire
Melanie Jackson
Hold the Pickles
Vicki Grant
Horse Power
Ann Walsh
Hypnotized
Don Trembath
In a Flash
Eric Walters
Junkyard Dog
Monique Polak
Laggan Lard Butts
Eric Walters
Living Rough
Cristy Watson
Manga Touch
Jacqueline Pearce
Marked
Norah McClintock
Maxed Out
Daphne Greer
Mirror Image
K.L. Denman
Nine Doors
Vicki Grant
Oracle
Alex Van Tol
Out of Season
Kari Jones
Perfect Revenge
K.L. Denman
Pigboy
Vicki Grant
Power Chord
Ted Staunton
Pyro
Monique Polak
Queen of the Toilet Bowl
Frieda Wishinsky
Rebel’s Tag
K.L. Denman
Reckless
Lesley Choyce
See No Evil
Diane Young
Sewer Rats
Sigmund Brouwer
The Shade
K.L. Denman
Siege
Jacqueline Pearce
Skate Freak
Lesley Choyce
Slick
Sara Cassidy
The Snowball Effect
Deb Loughead
Special Edward
Eric Walters
Splat!
Eric Walters
Spoiled Rotten
Dayle Campbell Gaetz
Stolen
John Wilson
Storm Tide
Kari Jones
Struck
Deb Loughead
Stuff We All Get
K.L. Denman
Sudden Impact
Lesley Choyce
Swiped
Michele Martin Bossley
Tampered
Michele Martin Bossley
Vanish
Karen Spafford-Fitz
Watch Me
Norah McClintock
Windfall
Sara Cassidy
Wired
Sigmund Brouwer
orca currents
For more information on all the books in the Orca Currents series, please visit www.orcabook.com.
