“No. Lena—”
“You deserve more than I have to give right now. You have so much to offer, Chad. So much. But I’m not ready to accept it.” She offered a sad smile, fighting back the tears. “I’m just glad we got you up in the air, flying, and doing what you love.”
“Shit, Lena, this isn’t about flying a damn helicopter.” He raised his hands, running them through his hair as he glanced down at her dog in frustration. But Hero didn’t give an inch, refusing to allow Chad closer to her.
“I care about you,” he added.
“But if I stay, and you wait for me to get better . . . I’m just so afraid I’ll disappoint you too. And the thought of adding another failure to my long list, I can’t do it. You’ve done so much for me. But now I need to stand on my own. I need to find my own place. Move out of here.”
“Jesus, Lena, you don’t have to leave the apartment—”
“I’ll find a new apartment this week.” She picked up her bag and turned to the door leading up to her borrowed home. Hero abandoned his post and moved to her side. Maybe she could find four walls and a roof to rent this week, but her own place? She still felt too far adrift right now, too lost.
“Good-bye, Chad.”
“Lena, wait,” he called.
She froze, glancing over her shoulder. Hero sat at her side glancing back at Chad and then at her with his head cocked, a pleading look in his dark eyes, which she swore said, Are you sure you don’t want to bring him? I kinda like him.
“For the record, you never disappointed me or let me down,” he said. “Not once.”
Chapter 20
CHAD HEADED FOR his truck, bone-tired from flying since dawn. Lying awake half the night every night for the past week, thinking about Lena, hating the fact that she’d moved out and away from him, hadn’t helped. Pulling away from the landing site, he glanced at his helicopter.
This was it. His dream. But it felt more like a nightmare. Yeah, he was living the life he’d always wanted—single and flying. And it broke his heart every damn day.
In his pocket, his cell vibrated. Chad pulled over to the side of the dirt road and took the call, hoping to hear her voice.
“Chad here.”
“Hey.” Brody’s deep voice filled his ear, and disappointment surged. “I need you to swing by the rehab center and check on Josh.”
Pinning the phone between his shoulder and ear, Chad put the truck in gear and headed for the main road. “Everything OK?”
“One of the nurses called. They’re worried he’s slipping into depression. There’s been no change in weeks.”
“Yeah, and that last specialist was a total loss.” The doctor from Seattle had tossed up his hands and said there was nothing he could do. “What should I tell him?”
“If he asks, say we’re working on it. I have a list of doctors to interview this week,” his big brother said. “I’m going to need your help with that.”
“You got it. Whatever you need.”
“Good. And try to keep the kid distracted. Talk about something else. Anything to take his mind off his missing memory.”
“Will do.” Chad ended the call and merged onto the highway heading for the university rehab center. Forty-five minutes later, he parked his truck, went inside, and found Josh lying on his bed staring at the ceiling.
“Hey man, you got a minute,” Chad called from the doorway.
Josh laughed, sitting up. “Yeah, I got a few before, you know, bingo tonight or whatever shit they’ve got planned.”
The bandages were gone from his head, and from the outside, his little brother looked perfectly normal. But Chad knew appearances could be deceiving.
“Good, I need to talk. It’s about a girl.”
“Don’t tell me you need me to fix your love life.”
“Yeah. I do.” Chad sank into the chair by the window. Starting at the beginning, he told Josh about Lena. He explained their plan for the fake relationship, and how for him it turned real. Head leaned back, he closed his eyes and told the one person who wouldn’t remember a word of this after bingo how he’d lost his heart to a woman who felt he deserved more.
“I fell for her, man. Hard.” Chad opened his eyes and glanced over at the bed. “What the hell? Are you taking notes?”
Josh nodded, his focus on the pen and spiral notebook in his hands. “One of the nurses suggested it, so I remember.”
“Shit, I told you because I thought you’d forget by dinner, not make a written account.”
His little brother grinned. “Yeah, I know. But now I have something to hold over your head when I ask you to break me out of here.”
“I can’t do that. But—” Chad made a grab for the notebook, but his little brother held it out of his reach. “What do you think I should do?”
“If you care about her, don’t let her go.”
“She’s already walked away from me once,” Chad said.
“Then go after her. You might be flying a helicopter like Dad dreamed about doing, but you’re not living his life. If you want her, go get her.”
“You’re right,” Chad said with a heavy sigh. “And I wish it were that simple. But I know her, Josh. She needs space. Too many people in her life have made demands and set expectations that she couldn’t meet.”
“You can’t just give up. Life’s too short. Trust me, it could all slip away and you wouldn’t remember it tomorrow.” Josh sounded a helluva lot wiser than a twenty-seven-year-old should when it came to escaping death. “Isn’t there something you could do?”
Chad stared at his brother’s notebook. “I need to borrow that.”
“I’ll hide it under my pillow. No one will ever know about our little chat.”
“And you’ll forget about it.” Chad held out his hand.
Josh gave in, handing it over. Flipping to a blank page in the back, Chad started writing.
“You’re writing her a love letter?”
“Something like that.”
“What the hell? Have you spent the past week drowning your broken heart in ice cream and romantic comedies?”
Chad ignored his brother and focused on the words. Getting it to her might prove challenging. She hadn’t left a forwarding address. But he could enlist his sister’s help. After reading through the note, he tore out the page, followed by the ones with Josh’s notes about his love life, and handed it back to his brother.
“Thanks, bro.” Chad turned to the door. “And have fun at bingo tonight.”
“Yeah, it will be a blast,” Josh said, not bothering to mask his sarcasm. “Hey, Chad?”
He paused in the doorway. “Yeah?”
“You’re still looking, right?” His little brother’s voice trembled slightly as if he was afraid to ask. “For a doctor who can fix me?”
“Yeah, we’re on it. Brody’s determined to find the right doctor. You and I both know he’s never let us down. If Brody says he’s going to find help, he will. And if he even thinks about giving up, I’ll kick his ass. I’m not going to let you down.”
Chapter 21
LENA MADE IT eight days, working, sleeping, and bingeing on chocolate, before Georgia found her in the Independence Falls grocery store, trying to decide between a Hershey’s bar and bread. She couldn’t afford both and still have enough for the rent on her new studio apartment.
Her parents had sent her a check along with the Silver Star they’d accepted on her behalf, and a note apologizing for failing her. After reading their heartfelt words, she’d swallowed her foolish pride and cashed the check. But it had barely covered the security deposit on her new place. She still needed to come up with the rental payments each month, which right now meant making hard choices—bread or chocolate.
“I need you to come over.” Georgia tossed the chocolate bar into her cart filled with juice boxes,
Cheerios, and bacon. “I’m finalizing a date, a venue, and shoes.”
“What happened to the backyard wedding?” Lena placed the bread in her basket.
“Eric and I agreed that we didn’t need to rush on account of his company’s logging schedule. Liam can take over for him while we’re getting married and away on our honeymoon. Plus we couldn’t take a honeymoon over Christmas. Nate would be heartbroken. And the dress I found last weekend in Portland? They need a couple of months to order it. We’re looking at an early spring date again.”
Of course, it all came down to a dress, even for a woman who’d worn the same uniform day after day in a war zone. Or maybe especially for someone like Georgia, who’d missed fashion while serving halfway around the world.
“Katie plans to leave work a little early and come over. And Eric is taking Nate for a boys’ adventure, a little early birthday celebration before his party on Saturday. We could sit on the patio and open a bottle of wine.” Georgia held up the Hershey’s bar. “Maybe some chocolate.”
“I’m in,” Lena said, following Georgia to the checkout with Hero at her side. “I’ll follow you in my truck.”
A half hour later, Lena settled into a lounge chair beside an outdoor heating tower. In her hands, she held the promised chocolate. Hero curled up at her feet. Not long ago, when she’d first moved to Independence Falls and the weather had been warmer, she’d sat here with Katie talking about boys. Now Katie was planning to build a home with the man she loved, Georgia was getting married—and Lena had walked away from the first man who’d made her believe that she was ready to open her heart and her life again.
“I booked Willamette Views Vineyard for the first weekend in April,” Georgia announced, setting three shoe boxes on the patio. “Katie helped me pick out a dress. Now I need shoes. I’m thinking blue heels.”
Georgia held up the first pair.
“Wow,” Lena said. “Those are bright.”
“April is a long time to wait.” Katie filled her wineglass from the bottle they’d brought out to the patio. “What happened to December?”
“The dress,” Lena said.
Katie smiled. “It gives me more time to plan the bachelorette.”
“The coed backyard barbecue, right?” Georgia sank into a chair beside Katie, accepting a glass of wine. “No surprises. And no goats.”
Katie laughed. “No livestock. But don’t be surprised if you’re not the first one down the aisle.”
“Liam proposed?” Georgia said, her brown eyes widening. “My brother asked you to marry him?”
“No, but we’ve been talking about running away to Vegas for the weekend and just doing it.”
“We’re coming too. And your brothers.” Georgia turned to her. “Don’t tell me you and Chad are secretly planning to elope too. Another trip to city hall maybe?”
“No.” Lena lowered the chocolate bar. “We ended things. About a week ago.”
“That explains why my brother promised to clean the horse stalls for a week if I delivered a note to you.” Katie set her wineglass on the blue stone patio and reached for her purse, withdrawing a small folded piece of paper. “I was so excited to hear about the wedding plans I almost forgot.”
Katie handed the piece of paper to Lena, adding, “I was tempted to peek inside, but I didn’t. Promise.”
“Chad sent you another love note?” Georgia said. “I always thought you brought out the best in him.”
“Another?” Katie reclaimed her wineglass.
Lena unfolded the paper, her focus on the words, not Georgia’s explanation of the gas receipt note she’d delivered at the gun range.
You’re not the only one who doesn’t give up. Maybe you don’t feel ready now. But when you are, I’ll be waiting. And the rules stand. I’ve always respected your boundaries and I always will. Take the time you need. Find your strength. Your kisses, your heart, and your love—I’d wait forever for those, beautiful.
She stared at the paper, reading the words a second time. After she’d walked out of his life, he still refused to give up on her. He continued to offer her the time and space she needed to heal.
“But I don’t want to wait,” she murmured.
“Wait for what?” Georgia asked.
Lena looked up at her friends. “Chad. He said he’d wait until I felt ready for us. To be part of an ‘us.’ But I don’t want to wait.”
Chad helped her every step of the way. He’d witnessed her bone-deep need to succeed, to find her way forward—and he’d helped her get there. She’d bargained for a physical relationship, at night, when they were alone. But he’d given her so much more.
He’d opened her eyes, with his charming smile, his sexy notes, and his humor, and made her see that every little moment of panic was not a sign of failure. It was part of who she was now.
“At the medal ceremony, I let my fear win,” she said, forcing herself to face the raw truth. “I was afraid I wasn’t enough for him—”
“Georgia!” Eric Moore’s voice boomed from the sliding doorway.
Lena dropped the note, the words “but maybe I am” frozen on her tongue. Together, the three of them stood, focusing on Eric’s serious expression.
Oh no, Lena thought as his gaze settled on Katie.
“Georgia, I need you to stay with Nate,” Eric said, his tone dead serious. “Katie, can you get ahold of Brody?”
Katie nodded, slipping her phone out of her pocket. “Is Josh OK?” she asked, her voice wavering.
“It’s not Josh.” Eric hesitated, his gaze moving from one woman to the next as if debating how much to tell them. “I got a call from the harvest site. They can’t get the helicopter off the ground because someone is pointing a gun at the pilot.”
Chapter 22
“WHO IS IT?” Katie demanded. “Who’s pointing a gun at my brother?”
“I don’t know.” Eric sped down the bumpy dirt road, both hands on the steering wheel of his company truck, his cell phone pinned between his shoulder and ear. “I’m on the line with Liam trying to find out.”
“Liam’s there?” Lena heard the panic in Katie’s voice. “Oh God, what if this lunatic shoots him too?”
Eric tossed the phone on the dash and sped up. “It’s Tim. Liam confirmed the shooter is my former crew chief, dammit. I fired him a few weeks ago after he showed up high to a job site. I told him it was the last straw, that I’d heard he’d been stoned off his ass at the pizza place not long before that and I didn’t want anyone in town wondering if I let someone use a chainsaw in his condition.”
“He blames Chad for losing his job?” Katie said. “That’s ridiculous. Half the town saw him there that night. And that was over a month ago.”
“Liam thinks Tim’s under the influence right now. Drunk, stoned—we don’t know. According to Liam, Tim showed up waving a piece of paper, screaming about paying his mortgage, and then pulled a gun. Tim’s looking for someone to blame and he came up with the guy who threatened him at the pizza place.”
“How close are we?” Lena asked from the backseat. With one arm wrapped around Hero, she reached her free hand into her purse, needing to feel her gun. She knew the power of a single bullet. She’d witnessed the damage one shot could do to a person, cutting off the possibility of a future. And when it came to guns and crazy people, every second counted.
“Can you drive faster?” she demanded.
“We’re close,” Eric said, making a sharp left turn into a dense forest. “One minute to the landing.”
He put his cell down. “When we get there, I need you ladies to stay in the car.”
“No.” Lena withdrew the revolver from her bag as Eric put the truck in park. “Hero stays here, but I’m coming with you.”
“Lena.” He glanced back and spotted the gun in her hand.
“I’m coming with you,”
she repeated, pushing the seat forward and following Katie out the passenger side of the truck.
Katie ran to Liam, wrapping her body around him. Running a hand over her hair, his arm banded tight around his girlfriend’s waist, Liam glared at Eric. “You brought her here?”
“I couldn’t keep her away.”
“Katie, honey, it’s not safe,” Liam said. “I need you to wait in the truck.”
“No. Where’s Chad?” Katie demanded. “Where’s my brother?”
Lena scanned the clearing, spotted the twin rotor helicopter resting on the field. Five feet in front, Chad stood with his hands raised over his head, his brown eyes focused on the man with the hunting rifle.
Determination swelled, leaving no room for panic. She’d trained for years to take out the enemy. Right now, the man staring down the barrel of the shotgun at Chad was her number one adversary. And unlike the anxiety that followed her around day and night, she could take this one out with a single shot. She could do this. Her arms raised, Lena marched across the clearing, the revolver aimed at the target with a laserlike focus.
“Tim, put the gun down,” she ordered.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Chad’s jaw tighten. But Lena kept her gaze focused on the wild-eyed man who looked like he’d walked out of her nightmares and into her life, her fingers ready to pull the trigger. But this wasn’t a dream. And if she wanted something real with the man standing in front of the helicopter, she needed to fight for it. Now. Falling apart was not an option.
The Silver Star in a box under her bed wasn’t worth much to her. But Chad? He was everything. And she wasn’t about to let some jerk with a shotgun steal her chance to tell him.
Or a panic attack, dammit. She had to hold the fear at bay until she’d removed the threat.
“Lena,” Chad said, through clenched teeth. “Get back in the truck. Now.”
“I’m sorry, Chad. I never thought standing up for me over pizza would end with another gun pointed at you,” she said, forcing her voice to remain calm and her focus on the man with the weapon.
Hero by Night Page 16
